Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: mowdan6 on April 11, 2012, 02:02:03 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Should i ask
Post by: mowdan6 on April 11, 2012, 02:02:03 PM
Post by: mowdan6 on April 11, 2012, 02:02:03 PM
For 7 years, my Mom would never talk to me, because of my transition. In the past 2 years we have had a good phone relationship. My Mom is 82, looking to sell the home i grew up in. I keep thinking, I would love to spend one more night in that home. Been thinking about asking my Mom for that chance. My fear is, she has'nt seen me for 10 years. I know it will be a shock to her. I fear she will do the usual.."How could you do this to me?" stuff. Wondering if I should ask at all. It would be great, but maybe it's too much to ask for.
Title: Re: Should i ask
Post by: Sephirah on April 11, 2012, 02:32:26 PM
Post by: Sephirah on April 11, 2012, 02:32:26 PM
If you don't ask, you'll always regret not knowing if you could have when you had the chance. Who knows, it may be an opportunity to build, or strengthen a few bridges.
Title: Re: Should i ask
Post by: spacial on April 11, 2012, 02:52:38 PM
Post by: spacial on April 11, 2012, 02:52:38 PM
Perhaps you could take the opportunity to stand up for yourself.
It's just that, after so many years, your self confidence should have returned now.
On the other hand, you will need to remember that mothers have a rather unique insight into us. If you mother is someone who would use that, and it's sadly not as uncommon as you might think, then it might be better to stay away. It could all be a huge set up. I know from experience this is perfectly possible.
At the end of the day you have to ask yourself some questions.
Why are you asking us? I don't mean that in any way unfriendly, but rather that the decision is quite personal. So you obviously have doubts.
Can you seriously manage to deal with another mental trashing by your mother?
Is it worth it. Is it worth the risk?
If this were me, if I'd known now before I went to that last visit, I'd never have gone. In my case, that was about 20 years ago now.
It's just that, after so many years, your self confidence should have returned now.
On the other hand, you will need to remember that mothers have a rather unique insight into us. If you mother is someone who would use that, and it's sadly not as uncommon as you might think, then it might be better to stay away. It could all be a huge set up. I know from experience this is perfectly possible.
At the end of the day you have to ask yourself some questions.
Why are you asking us? I don't mean that in any way unfriendly, but rather that the decision is quite personal. So you obviously have doubts.
Can you seriously manage to deal with another mental trashing by your mother?
Is it worth it. Is it worth the risk?
If this were me, if I'd known now before I went to that last visit, I'd never have gone. In my case, that was about 20 years ago now.
Title: Re: Should i ask
Post by: King Malachite on April 11, 2012, 03:13:21 PM
Post by: King Malachite on April 11, 2012, 03:13:21 PM
I say go for it. Maybe show her some pictures before hand?