Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well, I've posted this on another site so whoever may be reading this will see how thorough I am in explaining this issue and its involvement in being transgendered. I figured I would post it here because many of you are, or want to transition as well and may have some advice if you're familiar with any legal actions that can be taken. Any is greatly appreciated!

To start off, I'm 19 years old and live in Central California. I have had access to an inheritance left by my great great aunt and uncle for a little over a year now. They both passed which is why I have access to it now, but the executive of my money (basically who has control over how much money I get a month, if any at all) is my extremely religious grandmother. I am a transgendered female to male and have been on testosterone for about 7 months now, and my grandmother does not know this. Before I moved to the next town on my own with my girlfriend (my grandmother does not know of my girlfriend either) she constantly reminded me how the money is for education purposes. I completely agree, as that is what my great great aunt and uncle had always informed me. I use my inheritance to pay for rent, groceries, my college classes, etc. I also have a job in a retail store even though I do not need to work, I am doing it to have my own side budget and get job experience. Now, basically what I want to know is, I am getting my name changed legally as of June 1st, 2012. My grandmother is obviously going to see this when I go to the inheritance office to change my name. Here is an example of how my name change is going to be, again, this is not my real name, just an example. Say my legal birth name was Jessica Breann Sanchez, and I am changing it to Jake Brady Sanchez. That is just an example of how I'm changing my name because my mother wants me to keep my same initials. So my initials are not changing and neither is my social security number. Everyone knows I am transgender besides my grandparents, who I know would not take the situation as lightly as my immediate family. SO, finally my question is, after my grandmother sees my name change and obviously finds out I am transitioning, and she refuses to give me my money for school, what legal action can I take? IF she were to cut off my inheritance funds which I'm solely using for my education purposes, I wouldn't be able to pay rent, groceries, etc and I would have to break my lease, ruin my credit, and drop out of school, what legal action could I take against my grandmother?

Btw I won't be finishing school for quite some time and I want my name legally changed so I can get my gender changed on my license. I look NOTHING like my license now, and I'd like to buy things on my own that require my I.D. instead of always having my girlfriend doing it.

Also, after my grandmother passes it will either go to my grandfather who will probably have the same views as my grandmother on the issue, or it may go to my father, who is absolutely fine with my transition. I cannot touch my inheritance on my own until the age of 30.

Once again, any advice is greatly appreciated, thanks in advance.

I suggest you talk with the Successor Trustee and find out ahead of time how changing your name will affect the distribution. 

Your only chance is to get a copy of the Will or Trust and have a lawyer review it.  Most Wills/Trusts have a clause saying that if you attempt to break it, you will be disinherited.

It all depends on the wording that was used.

I have done Revocable Trusts for a lawyer for over 25 years.

As far as I can tell, you wouldn't have any legal recourse.  You're just going to have to fight to survive, on your own, and with help from friends and family, until you're 30.  You know, a lot of us have to do that without any inheritance ever available to us.

Good luck, though!  Maybe she'll be okay with it and if not, maybe it won't go as badly as you expect, living on limited means.  :)

Sauce, you might consider setting up an account with both "Jake" and "Jessica" named.

If you are not out to the gatekeeper of the inheritance, and if the disbursements are either direct deposit or by check, this could ease the i.d. problems.

Quote from: Maya Zimmerman on April 17, 2012, 02:57:51 PM
As far as I can tell, you wouldn't have any legal recourse.  You're just going to have to fight to survive, on your own, and with help from friends and family, until you're 30.  You know, a lot of us have to do that without any inheritance ever available to us.

Good luck, though!  Maybe she'll be okay with it and if not, maybe it won't go as badly as you expect, living on limited means.  :)

Wow seriously?  You don't know for sure that changing his name will prevent him from receiving his inheritance.  I'm giving Sauce the benefit of the doubt that he realizes not everyone has family money to rely on.  I mean, really.

Adio - Um, did you read what I wrote or what Sauce wrote?  I specifically said maybe she'll be okay with it.  Sauce was asking about what he could do if his grandmother refused to allocate money for spending now, while she controls it.  Nobody said anything about him not receiving his inheritance.  I mean, really.

Anyway, I think Jamie provides the most sound advice, in that, if Sauce is comfortable staying closeted from his grandparents and he doesn't have to tell the inheritance office to continue getting money, that would be ideal.

Quote from: Maya Zimmerman on April 17, 2012, 03:23:52 PM
Adio - Um, did you read what I wrote or what Sauce wrote?  I specifically said maybe she'll be okay with it.  Sauce was asking about what he could do if his grandmother refused to allocate money for spending now, while she controls it.  Nobody said anything about him not receiving his inheritance.  I mean, really.

I read the entire thread.  What you said was condescending toward Sauce (who seems to be a guy, btw).  You didn't seem to be giving an "if" situation.  "You're just going to have to..." pretty much says that, especially with your opening sentence.

Quote from: Maya Zimmerman on April 17, 2012, 02:57:51 PM
As far as I can tell, you wouldn't have any legal recourse.  You're just going to have to fight to survive, on your own, and with help from friends and family, until you're 30.  You know, a lot of us have to do that without any inheritance ever available to us.

Good luck, though!  Maybe she'll be okay with it and if not, maybe it won't go as badly as you expect, living on limited means.  :)

Maya, no offense, but this comment can be damming. Honestly, you don't know how the California Legal system works regarding inheritance laws. I don't either. But what I do know is, if you aren't sure how it works, then you need to stop with the legal absolutes.

Your comment also sounded very "tongue in cheek" because he has an inheritance and you don't.

Sauce, I would def take Sarah's opinion and I would agree that you really should see a lawyer about this.

And Sauce is a guy. He has the male symbol under his avatar and he states he is a male in this post.

I've probably produced close to a thousand trusts for the lawyer over the years, in California.  And spent many a hour researching things in the law library.

And every time I've referred to Sauce, it's been with male pronouns.  Unless his grandmother is also male, I don't believe there's an issue on that front, as she's the only one I've referred to with female pronouns.

As far as me being such an ->-bleeped-<-, with all my evil jealousy, I thought I was pretty nice.  Do I have to pretend class privilege doesn't exist?  Is it not enough for me to struggle, but I have to pretend others who have it easy are, in fact, in much more desperate situations than my own?  Is relativity something that must be used in an objective context to spare everyone feeling guilt over people with problems being real?

I sincerely wished the guy luck.  I really hope things work out for him.  Why am I being made out to be the bad guy here?

And how is, "As far as I can tell, you wouldn't have any legal recourse," a legal absolute?   Or more than one, at that?

Quote from: Maya Zimmerman on April 17, 2012, 04:01:51 PM
As far as me being such an ->-bleeped-<-, with all my evil jealousy, I thought I was pretty nice.  Do I have to pretend class privilege doesn't exist?  Is it not enough for me to struggle, but I have to pretend others who have it easy are, in fact, in much more desperate situations than my own?  Is relativity something that must be used in an objective context to spare everyone feeling guilt over people with problems being real?

I sincerely wished the guy luck.  I really hope things work out for him.  Why am I being made out to be the bad guy here?

And how is, "As far as I can tell, you wouldn't have any legal recourse," a legal absolute?   Or more than one, at that?

I think you should take another read with what I wrote.

Did I call you an ->-bleeped-<-? Or filled with evil jealously? No. I stated that you are not familiar with the California Legal system and you using "absolutes" should not happen. You told him he had no legal recourse. How do you know this?

Do you realize this guy is having a rough time with his inheritance and his executor is fighting him at every turn? The last thing he needs is for someone who isn't familiar with inheritance law is to say "As far as I can tell, you wouldn't have any legal recourse.  You're just going to have to fight to survive, on your own, and with help from friends and family, until you're 30."

That's not good advice. You have no idea if he has a legal recourse or not. And, no, he doesn't need to just fight to survive on his own or with the support of friends. He also has the option to procure a lawyer and overcome an issue that "might" happen. Honestly, if you aren't familiar with the answer someone needs in their own crises, it is best to simply say "I don't know."

You may not think what you did was stressful but imagine someone saying, "I have this pain in my side and my grandmother had cancer and died from it. Does anyone have any suggestions?"

Usually, someone will say "you need to see a doctor."

Your response would be like "As far as I can tell, you have cancer, You're just going to have to fight to survive, on your own, and with help from friends and family."

Doesn't sound too pleasant does it?

Alright, well, I'll spare everyone my harmful opinions from now on.  Sorry.

If your grandmother refuses to dole out the money over a transition/name change, then she is not acting her part as an executor and can be replaced with a neutral party. Good luck, mate!

I strongly suggest that you contact the Transgender Law Center's legal services staff at (415) 865-0176. Their site is:  http://transgenderlawcenter.org/cms/content/community-legal-services. Probably Danny Kirchoff (Client Advocate) would be a good name to request, if you need to. He is at 415-865-0176 ex 306, and advocates for low-income trans people.

It is possible that you could be protected against discrimination based on perceived sex, trans status, perceived sexual orientation....or any number of other things that I can't imagine because I Am Not A Lawyer. But if there is a struggle coming up, perhaps checking in to figure out how to document things in advance, prior to the name change, could be a real game-changer for you. 

Quote from: MrTesto on April 17, 2012, 07:42:35 PM
I strongly suggest that you contact the Transgender Law Center's legal services staff at (415) 865-0176. Their site is:  http://transgenderlawcenter.org/cms/content/community-legal-services. Probably Danny Kirchoff (Client Advocate) would be a good name to request, if you need to. He is at 415-865-0176 ex 306, and advocates for low-income trans people.

It is possible that you could be protected against discrimination based on perceived sex, trans status, perceived sexual orientation....or any number of other things that I can't imagine because I Am Not A Lawyer. But if there is a struggle coming up, perhaps checking in to figure out how to document things in advance, prior to the name change, could be a real game-changer for you.

This isn't a criminal matter, it's a civil matter.  Contacting the TLC would be a waste of not only the OP's time, but the TLC's as well.

I could be off-base in my advice, but I don't see where you are getting the criminal law info. The mission statement says that the TLC works "with clients who are: going to court to get recognition of their name and/or gender; filing asylum applications; trying to prevent or address workplace discrimination; protect their families; access complete and competent health care; respond to discrimination in the criminal justice system; or fix problems at their school."

On the page about legal services, referenced above: "If you are facing a legal issue or want more information about your rights, feel free to contact us. We're happy to work with you to understand the situation you're facing and provide you with individualized information to help you move towards a resolution.You can email us, call us at (415) 865-0176, or contact us to schedule an in-person appointment."

The majority of their programs are not restricted to criminal law, but rather discrimination and policy work, name change, health care, employment rights, etc. I haven't seen Danny in a number of years, but his areas of concern don't seem particularly focused on criminal law. However, since the TLC also does rights education and legal referrals, I still think it would be worth the OP giving a call or sending an email.

Quote from: MrTesto on April 17, 2012, 08:17:08 PM
I could be off-base in my advice. However, the mission statement says that the TLC works "with clients who are: going to court to get recognition of their name and/or gender; filing asylum applications; trying to prevent or address workplace discrimination; protect their families; access complete and competent health care; respond to discrimination in the criminal justice system; or fix problems at their school."

On the page about legal services, referenced above: "If you are facing a legal issue or want more information about your rights, feel free to contact us. We're happy to work with you to understand the situation you're facing and provide you with individualized information to help you move towards a resolution.You can email us, call us at (415) 865-0176, or contact us to schedule an in-person appointment."

The majority of their programs are not restricted to criminal law, but rather discrimination and policy work, name change, health care, employment rights, etc. I haven't seen Danny in a number of years, but his areas of concern don't seem particularly focused on criminal law. However, since the TLC also does rights education and legal referrals, I still think it would be worth the OP giving a call or sending an email.

I should have specified that this is a personal civil matter without any state restriction or regulations having any influence; it's his grandmothers influence.  If the OP had legally changed their gender, married a woman, then their spouse died and they were denied benefits and/or inheritance because the state they resided in (or executor/trustee) did not legally recognize their marriage then yes, that would be a situation where you would contact the TLC. 

However, even if the OP's grandmother withheld money because she didn't agree with him being transgender, he would still need to petition the court to remove her just the same as an individual who had an ignorant relative that withheld their inheritance because they married or had children with an individual who was not of the same religion or ethnic background, etc.

The OP's situation is rather common but without knowing the full details of his great-great aunt and uncles will or trust all I can really advise him to do is get a copy of it and go see an estate attorney,

Thanks for explaining - makes sense.

The only other option that comes to mind is that some schools are able to increase financial aid to students whose financial supporters withhold contributions due to the student coming out as lgb or t.

Quote from: MrTesto on April 17, 2012, 10:27:57 PM
The only other option that comes to mind is that some schools are able to increase financial aid to students whose financial supporters withhold contributions due to the student coming out as lgb or t.

Most likely he's not receiving any financial aid because he is the beneficiary of a trust.  (Whether he pays the taxes or the trust pays its own taxes, I do not know.  But ownership is usually determined through who declares it as income and pays the taxes.) The only way I can see him qualifying for financial aid is if he petitions the court regarding the trust and it is frozen by court order until the matter is resolved or he is removed as a beneficiary from it (which isn't possible as the two individuals who made the will and living revocable trust are now deceased, unless the OP contested it; as most have no contest clauses, but I'm assuming the OP would like to remain a beneficiary).

Talk to a lawyer. This isn't a black and white type of situation. My other half is going through something very similar right now - his mother stipulated her brother as the trustee and that my other half wasn't to get ANY of the money until he was 45. So he's completely cut off from that and his uncle is reaping all the benefits of this sum of money earning income in investments, etc. The only "clauses" in this particular trust was that the uncle could willing give up his role as trustee, but then it would fall to his wife, then to his sister, then to anyone else they would appoint BEFORE it went to my other half.

Basically, someone can put all kinds of sneaky little clauses in a trust and all kinds of stipulations. Your grandmother could very well cut you off for different reasons if she's given that power in the trust itself. This is why it's important to have a lawyer go over the whole thing. In some cases you can be able to contest the trust.

As an attorney ..... I agree you should have a copy of the will since you are beneficiary ... and talking to an attorney as a proactive measure....however, all that being said and done ... nothing might happen .. and don't stress too much until something does happen

Quote from: Robert Scott on April 18, 2012, 01:24:47 AM
As an attorney ..... I agree you should have a copy of the will since you are beneficiary ... and talking to an attorney as a proactive measure....however, all that being said and done ... nothing might happen .. and don't stress too much until something does happen

I'm so swamped at work that my brain is turning into Swiss cheese and bits of information are getting through the holes, which is why until now I didn't immediately go "why the heck didn't he receive a copy of the will when the estate was settled or of the trust?!?!?" (So long as it was irrevocable.) Regardless, his grandmother as a trustee was required by law to send him written notice under California Probate Code Section 16061.7(a) telling him he is a beneficiary.  His grandmother can't keep him in the dark and has a duty to keep him reasonably informed about the administration of the trust.

In fact, 16061 does specifically state: "Except as provided in Section 16069, on reasonable request by a beneficiary, the trustee shall report to the beneficiary by providing requested information to the beneficiary relating to the administration of the trust relevant to the beneficiary's interest."  This would also include the terms of the trust.

Sadly, the OP's grandmother may not take them seriously without an attorney and with no contest clauses being the norm it's not something he should tread lightly into without a good estate attorney.

To everyone who responded, thank you so much for taking the time to write your responses. They were extremely helpful and I'm happy to say that I told my grandmother about my transition yesterday after arriving to her house 9 months on T. Surprisingly, she was accepting despite her harsh judgements due to her being a devoted Christian (not trying to insult Christians, I am one myself.) I am so relieved that I don't have to take drastic measures against a family member and once again, thank you very much for ALL of the responses.