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It seems a health issue to me – yet I'm also sure not every one will agree...

It seems too like some sort of addiction on both sides, the dog lover's AND the dogs' - again I'm sure not every one will agree either...

I'm trying to figure out why this is such a wide spread "thing" with mostly females... cis- only this far, in my experience.

I know of THREE... actually all I'm close to (one no more) and the other females I know do not have a dog, or dogs.

Now imagine an American Pit-Bull with her male buddy, a Rothweiler / Staffordshire-terrier mix, add the second husband, all night for years sharing the same bed... that lot of them snoring like hell knows no fury!
Just writing this down makes me feel pretty weird - in deed it does. VERY... weird. Second husband = my son's stepfather, so we talk about my ex.

Next, two Yorkshire terriers (handbag dogs...) in bed with/add my other friends new bf... (poor sod...)
The argument that poor dude was trying to win for HOURS, (me being present) was that he can not sleep with those "extras", getting up several times at night, them (the male and female Yorkshires) are snoring, with the male having his halitosis breathing into his face, the female preferring to be 'crushed' rather then to move out of the way, and the male licking one's face and being into 'French kissing' as his every morning exercise... (Love conquers all?)
BTW, when I had to look after those, plus puppies, I had the same experience, so this is how it is.

WHAT IS IT?! that causes close to consternation in those females (the human one's) if one suggests that the dogs aught better sleep in their doggy beds? They (the dogs) even keep each other company and do this quite comfortably if snoozing during the day.

I have watched that poor bf trying to make his case, TO PLEASE GET SOME SLEEP, AND TO MIND HIS ALLERGY (swollen face in the morning) never mind having onlookers during performance of his sexual act!... eye-ball to eye-ball...!!

OK, - please any suggestions why dog's needs trump an apparently ever sooo beloved bf's needs?
In the case of the husbands, the other two cases... it seems to be OK with them. No more 'nookie' performances (hum...) and apparently ALSO much in love with the dogs...

May one be ever so happy that no chickens or ducks or maybe goats get involved?
Gosh.... WHAT IS IT?! Back to nature? Separation anxiety?

What am I missing here?
Any one for some deeper -psychological insights- to make me feel better?

Grrrr,
Axélle

Quote from: Axélle-Michélle on April 21, 2012, 11:33:42 PM
OK, - please any suggestions why dog's needs trump an apparently ever sooo beloved bf's needs?

Dogs don't steal all the duvet or jam their extremities in the small of your back right when you're just about to drift off to sleep, waking you back up with an irritated sigh and a burning desire to beat something to death with a pillow. :P

Speaking as someone who had two dogs - they're given a sort of love or affection that's different to a partner. I would equate it more to the love one gives children. Often you feel protective of them, and even fuss over them way too much. My dogs always used to sleep on my bed, although they weren't very large and so didn't take up much space. I couldn't tell you with any certainty why that was, other than I probably thought that my bed would be more comfortable for them than a dog basket and I wanted them to be comfortable.

Quote from: Sephirah on April 22, 2012, 12:12:53 AM
Dogs don't steal all the duvet or jam their extremities in the small of your back right when you're just about to drift off to sleep, waking you back up with an irritated sigh and a burning desire to beat something to death with a pillow. :P

Speaking as someone who had two dogs - they're given a sort of love or affection that's different to a partner. I would equate it more to the love one gives children. Often you feel protective of them, and even fuss over them way too much. My dogs always used to sleep on my bed, although they weren't very large and so didn't take up much space. I couldn't tell you with any certainty why that was, other than I probably thought that my bed would be more comfortable for them than a dog basket and I wanted them to be comfortable.

Reading through the lot... if your partner then has an issue with them sweeties you would suggest HIM sleeping in the dog-basket?

It was this that made me wonder... the dogs (like children) getting the preference.

And how about your sex-life hon...? I can not even figure, don't want to figure out how the poor guy must feel given a main-stand-performance to those present other then his partner... Practice for some exhibitionism?

In any case, I learned not even Viagra did it then... just saying... am I too considerate in feeling compassion for the dude? As for the duvets I have my own in any case, and lower back 'attention' with 'extremities' well... ain't that all about nookies – and need for some... LTC?

I wonder...
Axélle

You made me lough so hard. When I came to the USA I thought these "gringos" are crazy, they sleep with dogs!

30 years of "American Indoctrination" has not change the way I feel about dogs and cats: "Not in my bedroom, period."

I am in the market for a partner, and my recruiting add reads: "Dog lover need not to apply." That is not to say I will not welcome a partner that has a dog, but the dog sleeps in the kitchen, garage, or back yard. Dog is not allow to freely roam the house.

When it comes to it, the issue with "dog lovers" is beyond the dog sleeping in the bed; it is that more often than not the partner comes second to the dog.

We sleep with animals in the bad. Our Pappilon named Jenks sleeps down at our feet between us and is super careful to not disturb us. Unless he growls at someone coming in our bedroom. He gets right out of the way if we move to snuggle or anything else.

Now our Siamese named Sagwa sleeps at the top of the bed. She is morbidly obese and snores. She asks has to be pushed out of the way, but once you do she leaves the room to pout.

My dog sleeps with me most of the night that he's not playing with the remains of whatever stuffed thing he mutilated. I used to say that I wouldn't let a dog do this or a dog do that, but then I actually got one....

For the smaller dogs, it can be like having a fuzzy baby with you in bed. I had 2 yorkies when I lived in The UK. Or your best friend there beside you just watching over you. With bigger dogs, I'm sure for some, it is also a security issue. If someone broke into your house, the dog would know before you did and wake you up.

What did dogs do for the millions of years before they were domesticated?
And the tens of thousands of years humans did not have plushy beds?

They slept outside - their natural habitat.

Quote from: Jamie D on April 23, 2012, 12:44:07 AM
What did dogs do for the millions of years before they were domesticated?
And the tens of thousands of years humans did not have plushy beds?

They slept outside - their natural habitat.

Amen, ahamen... yet one could argue they were not really over-bread at this stage.

My gf fills me in and her bf... that she HAD TO DO 6 weeks "training" so as to be "able" to become a Yorkie owner....

OMG! Some folks need less time to decide getting MARRIED!

The other "psycho-thing", she was not going to have a child (at 43, fair enough) with her 15 year younger previous bf --- so she decided on having a Yorkie instead...

Well... so it is,
Axélle

Quote from: Axélle-Michélle on April 23, 2012, 05:31:03 AM
Amen, ahamen... yet one could argue they were not really over-bread at this stage.

My gf fills me in and her bf... that she HAD TO DO 6 weeks "training" so as to be "able" to become a Yorkie owner....

OMG! Some folks need less time to decide getting MARRIED!

The other "psycho-thing", she was not going to have a child (at 43, fair enough) with her 15 year younger previous bf --- so she decided on having a Yorkie instead...

Well... so it is,
Axélle

Misplaced mothering instinct!

Quote from: Jamie D on April 23, 2012, 12:44:07 AM
What did dogs do for the millions of years before they were domesticated?
And the tens of thousands of years humans did not have plushy beds?

They slept outside - their natural habitat.

Man evolved to enjoy the finer things, so why can't doggies? 

Labrador Retrievers = bedwarmer! Hugs, Devlyn

I sleep with my doggy, always have! I just like the company, and keeping eachother warm. Plus it's just darn cute!

Who wouldn't want a cute lovey sweetheart in bed with them?  ;D

My dog sleeps with me in the bed.  My ex only minded it when she moved and would accidentally hit him in the groin.  It got to the point that he probably would have (if I hadn't broken up with him) said that she either has to sleep out on the couch or he does.  My answer would have been that he would have had to sleep on the couch.

My dog comes first because she was here first.  Everyone else, including significant others, are second to her.  Is it healthy?  Probably not.  Do I care?  Not particularly.  I prefer my dog's company to human company anyway.  I am attached to her as if I had physically given birth to her.  That may offend some people, but I can't do anything about how I emotionally feel towards my dog.

As for it being a health issue, it isn't.  She's clean and her shedding is negligible. 

And as Devlyn said, she's a good bed warmer.

On the subject of kids, but having a dog instead:  Hell yeah.  I don't want kids.  Ever.  I have been adamant about not having kids since I was 13.  I have the biological drive to have kids, but I don't have the psychological drive to have them.

So, I have a dog instead and will continue to have dogs instead.  Animals generally get the parenting instinct more than humans anyway, lol.

Quote from: Jamie D on April 23, 2012, 10:48:01 AM
Misplaced mothering instinct!

In my case, that's probably accurate.

I don't have kids, and don't particularly like them. Dogs aren't screaming mucus factories that keep you awake all night. And if you get a dog from a puppy, then really you do raise them yourself, so there's that attachment. I got both of mine at 3 weeks old, and had them until they died of age-related illness, about fourteen years each.

It's kinda hard to explain the bond to people who aren't dog lovers. It's something you have to experience to understand.

Quote from: Jaime on April 23, 2012, 11:01:52 AM
Man evolved to enjoy the finer things, so why can't doggies?

Evolution?  Okay.

When the dog can make the bed, he can sleep in it.  :D

Quote from: Lynn Gabriel on April 23, 2012, 12:02:44 PM

And as Devlyn said, she's a good bed warmer.

So is a hot water bottle, and it doesn't have fleas.  ;)

Jamie, you're jumping to conclusions. I'm not going to give the dog fleas. Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on April 23, 2012, 03:33:13 PM
Jamie, you're jumping to conclusions. I'm not going to give the dog fleas. Hugs, Devlyn

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Quote from: Sephirah on April 23, 2012, 01:52:49 PM
In my case, that's probably accurate.

I don't have kids, and don't particularly like them. Dogs aren't screaming mucus factories that keep you awake all night. And if you get a dog from a puppy, then really you do raise them yourself, so there's that attachment. I got both of mine at 3 weeks old, and had them until they died of age-related illness, about fourteen years each.

It's kinda hard to explain the bond to people who aren't dog lovers. It's something you have to experience to understand.

I agree that it's hard to explain the attachment.  My dog was 6/7 weeks when I adopted her.  I raised her and paid for all of her bills and still do (minus when boarding her so I can see my parents, which I'll never have to do again! Yay! :D)

@ Jamie D:  My dog doesn't have fleas. :3  I make sure of that because she's allergic to them and the medications to get rid of them. -.- I have to use natural remedies.

This is quite some added learning for me to read about all these "co-dependant" doggy-in-bed situations.

Now how do you keep these guys and girls clean, digging for bones in the garden, her having her period once in a while, their love to roll in dirt (as we call it) for them just having a lovely back-scratch in the soil, walking through the wet and leaving their (soiled?) paws on everything, the list goes on.

Personally I have no desire to have such to share my bed. I have done it in others' bed as it seemed 'usus' for them. Of course the smaller the doggy the less the mess they are able to create, up to the point of leaving their poo and wee some place, as happened to me, in front of the bed... and God knows where else to be found at other more in-opportune times.

I could go on, but you sure get my take on this dependency thing. There are other issues of course as "eating" living room furniture when left unobserved - and some added marking of territory for the 'boys'.
This BTW is ALL first hand experience, and yes, if you accept co-dependence then "love conquers all"... :)

Axélle

If it is raining or too cold outside Jenks won't go outside and he just uses the puppy pad down the upstairs hallway.

Papillons don't have an undercoat so while he does have long hairs that shed, there is no thick balls of matted thatched fur to be left around.  Jenks is also large for the breed so the breeder had him fixed before we picked him up.  He weighs a grand total of 11 pounds (less than our Siamese cat).

So far he has been exceptionally fastidious and the breed itself is among the smartest breeds so he has adapted well.  Him sleeping ON the bed is less disruption than her Llhaso Apso that had to be put down last year.  He would constantly dig and scratch all night long and toward the end he whimpered because his spine spur was hitting something.

Quote from: Jeneva on April 24, 2012, 07:02:43 AM
If it is raining or too cold outside Jenks won't go outside and he just uses the puppy pad down the upstairs hallway.

Papillons don't have an undercoat so while he does have long hairs that shed, there is no thick balls of matted thatched fur to be left around.  Jenks is also large for the breed so the breeder had him fixed before we picked him up.  He weighs a grand total of 11 pounds (less than our Siamese cat).

So far he has been exceptionally fastidious and the breed itself is among the smartest breeds so he has adapted well.  Him sleeping ON the bed is less disruption than her Llhaso Apso that had to be put down last year.  He would constantly dig and scratch all night long and toward the end he whimpered because his spine spur was hitting something.

Oh wow, I see you ARE into exceptionally sweet and pretty toy-dogs. I just googled them to have a look. Both weren't known breeds to me. Now WONDER you overflow with love for them! :)

Seems one cut above to having German Shepards, Labradors, Dalmatians, English Bull-dogs or Rottweiler etc. in one's bed, AND another 'homo sapiens" to boot ? :)

Axélle

Quote from: Axélle-Michélle on April 24, 2012, 01:27:06 AM
This is quite some added learning for me to read about all these "co-dependant" doggy-in-bed situations.

Now how do you keep these guys and girls clean, digging for bones in the garden, her having her period once in a while, their love to roll in dirt (as we call it) for them just having a lovely back-scratch in the soil, walking through the wet and leaving their (soiled?) paws on everything, the list goes on.

Axélle

- My dog doesn't dig in the dirt.  She also gets regular baths.
- It's called getting your dog spayed.  My dog is spayed and has never once gone into heat.
- If my dog starts to roll in something nasty she's told to stop (which she does) and then she gets a bath.
- My dog is a priss.  She dislikes walking in anything muddy or that can cling to her paws.
- My dog also doesn't chew on anything other than her bone (that I gave her and has its own little place in the apartment) so my furniture is also non-chewed on.

Dogs generally do not mark territory within the house because people frown on that and their owners will usually nip that in the bud.  Outside, dogs do mark their territory (male and female alike), but that's outside on the grass where other animals have already marked their territory.

It just seems to me you've met dogs whose owners didn't know what they were doing. :P

I personally plan on getting either an American Pit Bull Terrier or a Great Dane.  Both will be welcome to share my bed and any girl or guy who wants to join will just have to deal with it.  The animals will also be taken care of like my current dog is taken care of so they'll be clean.  I like having a clean apartment so all of my pets are generally clean animals.

Quote from: Lynn Gabriel on April 24, 2012, 08:06:13 AM
[clipped]
It just seems to me you've met dogs whose owners didn't know what they were doing. :P

Well, I had an English Bull Dog for over 11 years. He like to pee on my windsurfer bag(s), maybe mistaken for some outside feature?
He also like to scratch, making his 'nest' on a leather couch or any other some such for that matter, even on brick or tiled floor  :eusa_doh: . He got castrated when very young, but still showed his appreciation by humping peoples legs and went wild with 'appreciation' once he got hold of your hair.

Loved to roll in the dirt right after he had a bath, charging about like completely of his rockers...

He also snored as loud like a motor-saw and did this mostly when no food or walkies was the case.
A lot of what I mentioned above is just natural behaviour and at least I and my partner hadn't a snowballs chance in hell, to change any of it.
Just saying, eh

Quote
I personally plan on getting either an American Pit Bull Terrier or a Great Dane.  Both will be welcome to share my bed and any girl or guy who wants to join will just have to deal with it.  The animals will also be taken care of like my current dog is taken care of so they'll be clean.  I like having a clean apartment so all of my pets are generally clean animals.

Oh dear, I do wish you best of luck with a dog bigger then your own size (Great Dane) sharing you bed...

Axelle
PS: what I did not even mention, even with female doggy company, they, the males seemed so far I've seen having a liking (demand?!) for wanting you to play with their balls and of course that thing in front of it... too much, just a bit too much for my daily routine... really

Quote from: Axélle-Michélle on April 24, 2012, 08:37:03 AM
Well, I had an English Bull Dog for over 11 years. He like to pee on my windsurfer bag(s), maybe mistaken for some outside feature?
He also like to scratch, making his 'nest' on a leather couch or any other some such for that matter, even on brick or tiled floor  :eusa_doh: . He got castrated when very young, but still showed his appreciation by humping peoples legs and went wild with 'appreciation' once he got hold of your hair.

Loved to roll in the dirt right after he had a bath, charging about like completely of his rockers...

He also snored as loud like a motor-saw and did this mostly when no food or walkies was the case.
A lot of what I mentioned above is just natural behaviour and at least I and my partner hadn't a snowballs chance in hell, to change any of it.
Just saying, eh
Oh dear, I do wish you best of luck with a dog bigger then your own size (Great Dane) sharing you bed...

Axelle
PS: what I did not even mention, even with female doggy company, they, the males seemed so far I've seen having a liking (demand?!) for wanting you to play with their balls and of course that thing in front of it... too much, just a bit too much for my daily routine... really

Humping is usually a dominance thing -- even females engage in it.  My dog gets told to knock it off, which she does.  Granted she only likes to hump her toys.  She's such a girl. XD

Some dogs also just like to pee on things...Males seem more likely to do this, but don't rule females out.  If my dog pisses on anything other than something outside, she gets "punished".  It's worked a lot and now I have a dog that only uses the restroom outside.  You can change even natural behaviors, such as peeing on certain objects.  Sometimes it takes training and sometimes it takes sprays like Bitter Apple to prevent the behavior from occurring.

Baths are like crack for dogs, lol.  Harley's not allowed outside after one until she's dry because she loves to roll along the floor.

I'd love a large dog and Great Danes are great.  Honestly, larger dogs seem to take up less room than my small dog -- she manages to steal the whole bed and she's only 16 lbs.  My 50 lb dog took up less space than this terrier.  If I get a Dane, chances are I'll have a king-sized bed by then because I really want a king-sized bed since a queen is too small for me.

I have a parrot who loves to snuggle up with me under the sheets before bedtime, and we quite often snooze together. She's quiet, lies still and doesn't smell - much better in bed than a dog! But I do worry about crushing her, so she always goes back to her perch when it's time to sleep deeply.  I've heard it's quite common for parrot owners to sleep with their birds - and the birds like it too. They like to be part of the flock.

We also had a dog that slept in and under the family's beds for years. She would do a nightly tour - start off in my sister's room, through mine and end up in my parents' bed. She hogged all the space, but I didn't mind.