Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: ByeBye on April 30, 2012, 01:57:00 PM Return to Full Version
Title: "He's really a man."
Post by: ByeBye on April 30, 2012, 01:57:00 PM
Post by: ByeBye on April 30, 2012, 01:57:00 PM
Anyone ever been hurt by this quote before?
I not directly by this exact quote but by ones very similar, pronouns, etc.
I not directly by this exact quote but by ones very similar, pronouns, etc.
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: Joeyboo~ :3 on April 30, 2012, 02:00:25 PM
Post by: Joeyboo~ :3 on April 30, 2012, 02:00:25 PM
I know my boyfriend would appreciate that. :3
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: sysm29 on April 30, 2012, 02:11:34 PM
Post by: sysm29 on April 30, 2012, 02:11:34 PM
Yes I have... It took me a while to process it because I thought I was passing just fine. It was this particular comment, among other things, that led me to why I had facial feminization surgery last month.
It's a terrible thing to hear... this particular incident was a few boys outside of Burger King. They looked at me from pretty far away and they read me. This was on a day I thought I looked good ):
It's a terrible thing to hear... this particular incident was a few boys outside of Burger King. They looked at me from pretty far away and they read me. This was on a day I thought I looked good ):
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: apple pie on April 30, 2012, 02:37:28 PM
Post by: apple pie on April 30, 2012, 02:37:28 PM
There are those of us who put in a lot of effort in trying to pass so that we wouldn't hear such comments. So we feel hurt when we hear them.
Then there are those of us who do not try that much to pass, but who are not ashamed of being transsexual, and are strong in the face of potentially hurtful comments. After all, what other people say shouldn't matter.
I think both types are fine, but I am the first type, I guess. What about you guys?
Then there are those of us who do not try that much to pass, but who are not ashamed of being transsexual, and are strong in the face of potentially hurtful comments. After all, what other people say shouldn't matter.
I think both types are fine, but I am the first type, I guess. What about you guys?
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: MiaOhMya! on April 30, 2012, 03:23:20 PM
Post by: MiaOhMya! on April 30, 2012, 03:23:20 PM
Yea it has happened and I reply:
"I'm more man than you'll ever be, and more woman than you'll ever get!!"
;D
"I'm more man than you'll ever be, and more woman than you'll ever get!!"
;D
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: supremecatoverlord on April 30, 2012, 03:38:14 PM
Post by: supremecatoverlord on April 30, 2012, 03:38:14 PM
Quote from: JoeyD on April 30, 2012, 02:00:25 PMHell yeah.
I know my boyfriend would appreciate that. :3
Me too.
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: auburnAubrey on April 30, 2012, 03:45:32 PM
Post by: auburnAubrey on April 30, 2012, 03:45:32 PM
I almost always, even without makeup on now adays get the "hello ma'am!" greeting..... Followed by the "oh sorry" when i open my mouth. I'm used to it and expecting it, and it's why I am working with a voice coach. but I know this is me, and I am confident in it. (ok, well, 90% of the time....)
What I've found, is that the aura around me is definitely feminine.... and there are times when the voice doesn't even change their mind.
EG: I was in a bad mood at work one day, and not feeling all that pretty, (I have to have my hair pulled back and up at work... all girls do), and while we were at the store, this lady comes up to me and says "Oh, are you a fire lady?" (I'm a firefighter and was in uniform)... Being in a bad mood, I said in a deep, dejected voice "Yes, I'm a fire lady"...... expecting the usual kind of odd look..... then she says "Well that's wonderful. Good for you." LOL
I kind of realized then, that how you hold yourself has more to do with passing than voice, face, etc. (of course, I'm still going to change both!). I also realized that I am harder on myself than anyone judging me probably is..... so I just decided to be me, and whatever they think, they think.
I also know that if it bothers me, it's because of what's in me at the time, not what they say. So heck with it. I'll have my good days and my bad days. Just try not to let it get to you.......
What I've found, is that the aura around me is definitely feminine.... and there are times when the voice doesn't even change their mind.
EG: I was in a bad mood at work one day, and not feeling all that pretty, (I have to have my hair pulled back and up at work... all girls do), and while we were at the store, this lady comes up to me and says "Oh, are you a fire lady?" (I'm a firefighter and was in uniform)... Being in a bad mood, I said in a deep, dejected voice "Yes, I'm a fire lady"...... expecting the usual kind of odd look..... then she says "Well that's wonderful. Good for you." LOL
I kind of realized then, that how you hold yourself has more to do with passing than voice, face, etc. (of course, I'm still going to change both!). I also realized that I am harder on myself than anyone judging me probably is..... so I just decided to be me, and whatever they think, they think.
I also know that if it bothers me, it's because of what's in me at the time, not what they say. So heck with it. I'll have my good days and my bad days. Just try not to let it get to you.......
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: Alainaluvsu on April 30, 2012, 04:13:55 PM
Post by: Alainaluvsu on April 30, 2012, 04:13:55 PM
Not yet... at least not from strangers. People who knew me pre transition have a difficult time.
I'm sure I get read because I have thick black facial hair that is very difficult to cover up without lots of make up... but I'm never sir'd.
I'm sure I get read because I have thick black facial hair that is very difficult to cover up without lots of make up... but I'm never sir'd.
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: Kelly-087 on April 30, 2012, 06:34:28 PM
Post by: Kelly-087 on April 30, 2012, 06:34:28 PM
Quote from: MiaOhMya! on April 30, 2012, 03:23:20 PM
Yea it has happened and I reply:
"I'm more man than you'll ever be, and more woman than you'll ever get!!"
;D
This is just internet drama (lol) but someone was picking on me for being trans. I told him "I might have them cut off some day, but my balls will always be bigger than yours". I wasn't trying to be lady like at all in this case, obviously. He had nothing to say to that.
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: Alainaluvsu on April 30, 2012, 10:27:51 PM
Post by: Alainaluvsu on April 30, 2012, 10:27:51 PM
I'd probably just shrug and smile. I've been picked on my whole life and I've learned that being proud of yourself is the best defense when people see your features as a fault.
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: Renee D on April 30, 2012, 10:40:29 PM
Post by: Renee D on April 30, 2012, 10:40:29 PM
No, I don't get that sort of thing. I know its happened behind my back by some locals, but that's their problem. I rarely get misgendered anymore and then its only a couple of older people that are having problems with my being trans, but generally, they've been trying to avoid pronouns and such with me lately. As for strangers and such, no issues at all and I work as a store clerk at a very busy store, so I get all kinds of people in there.
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: Alainaluvsu on April 30, 2012, 10:58:53 PM
Post by: Alainaluvsu on April 30, 2012, 10:58:53 PM
At school today... a new girl (in another class) asked everyone what our name was, and we all introduced ourselves. I said my name, and her teacher immediately "corrected" me with my male name. I just smiled and said my real name again, she corrected me again. I rolled my eyes and just laughed it off a lil. Everyone else was mad at her for me... and I gotta admit I was annoyed. Later on tonight, right as school was about to let out, the new girl came up to me, played with my hair, danced with me, joked with me and pretty much acted as if I was female.
They can be mean to you, but they'll still look like an ass to everybody else if you're just being yourself.
They can be mean to you, but they'll still look like an ass to everybody else if you're just being yourself.
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: Keaira on April 30, 2012, 11:38:31 PM
Post by: Keaira on April 30, 2012, 11:38:31 PM
Yes actually. It hurt's most when my wife uses male pronouns to talk about me. I've asked her not to, we've fought about it and still she continues to do it. She says "You are still my husband so you're still a he." Because "I'm not into girls."
It's bad enough I deal with that crap at work! At Valeo, All the new employees get "warned about me," by other employees.
It's bad enough I deal with that crap at work! At Valeo, All the new employees get "warned about me," by other employees.
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: Kelly J. P. on May 01, 2012, 04:06:31 AM
Post by: Kelly J. P. on May 01, 2012, 04:06:31 AM
I've been called a "Very beautiful man" before. It was on one of my first few days full-time...
Not very heartening, but the phase did pass.
Not very heartening, but the phase did pass.
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: Korra on May 02, 2012, 01:01:28 AM
Post by: Korra on May 02, 2012, 01:01:28 AM
I imagine I'll let it go the first few times but if I start to hear it repeatedly from friends there will be consequences.
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: Rabbit on May 02, 2012, 01:13:51 AM
Post by: Rabbit on May 02, 2012, 01:13:51 AM
I identify a little differently (in that I take a philosophical approach and still think of myself as "male", simply one that is feminized and sounds like / wants what a woman does).
But, it is increasingly happening that friends /family are trying to convince me otherwise :| My sister especially who keeps telling me I'm really a girl (because a boy wouldn't want the things I do apparently).
Really, when it comes down to it... everyone is going to look at you differently. All that really matters is that you are comfortable and confident in how you consider yourself... and then when someone tries to tell you otherwise it is just amusing.
Like, for a non trans woman (one that was confident in herself), if you walked up to her and said she was really a man... she would laugh at you.
But, it is increasingly happening that friends /family are trying to convince me otherwise :| My sister especially who keeps telling me I'm really a girl (because a boy wouldn't want the things I do apparently).
Really, when it comes down to it... everyone is going to look at you differently. All that really matters is that you are comfortable and confident in how you consider yourself... and then when someone tries to tell you otherwise it is just amusing.
Like, for a non trans woman (one that was confident in herself), if you walked up to her and said she was really a man... she would laugh at you.
Title: Re: "He's really a man."
Post by: Keaira on May 02, 2012, 01:41:48 AM
Post by: Keaira on May 02, 2012, 01:41:48 AM
Quote from: Rabbit on May 02, 2012, 01:13:51 AM
I identify a little differently (in that I take a philosophical approach and still think of myself as "male", simply one that is feminized and sounds like / wants what a woman does).
But, it is increasingly happening that friends /family are trying to convince me otherwise :| My sister especially who keeps telling me I'm really a girl (because a boy wouldn't want the things I do apparently).
Really, when it comes down to it... everyone is going to look at you differently. All that really matters is that you are comfortable and confident in how you consider yourself... and then when someone tries to tell you otherwise it is just amusing.
Like, for a non trans woman (one that was confident in herself), if you walked up to her and said she was really a man... she would laugh at you.
Or get really mad at you!
My thoughts on this now is, I can't control how people see me. So screw it. They will look stupid calling me male pronouns when I obviously appear otherwise. I mean these people are clueless on how it feels to be trans. So what do they care if it hurts you?