Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I need help, i was getting blessing from this monk and when i told him my wish (they said to do that, it's visak day here) to transition and fully pass, the monk smiled and said something like "If you wish is pure, you will be blessed", do you guys think he was saying my wish wasn't pure?!?!?!?Help Please!!!

Most of the people here have probably never been to a buddhist temple but that sounds like a really generic thing to say.

Is there anything unusual about what he said?

no just that

"If you wish is pure, if you are good to people your wish will come true".

Sounds good. Be a good girl and help people.

I've been with Buddhists. My experience is, they say what they mean. And I would trust a monk.

Buddhism emphases giving. I'm not very good with quotations, but I recall one from the Buddha, I believe, which said that we get what we need while giving to others.

While Jesus tends to be associated with a different culture altogether, he made a very similar point.

It's very learned. It's very profound. It can be difficult for most of us to grasp, let alone practice. But it also happens to be completely correct.

Again, I can't remember the reference, but I recall someone talking about this very issue once, where he described how we spend our lives, giving back. In the process, the opportunities for our own needs present themselves.  We grasp those and give thanks.

What he means is if you believe it in your heart your wish come to pass. It's not the Buddhist way to judge.

That being said I would suggest you stop looking the negative aspects of everything and focus on being yourself.

Quote from: DonnaTroy on May 05, 2012, 06:40:12 AM
I need help, i was getting blessing from this monk and when i told him my wish (they said to do that, it's Vesak day here) to transition and fully pass, the monk smiled and said something like "If your wish is pure, you will be blessed", do you guys think he was saying my wish wasn't pure?!?!?!?

Help Please!!!

Nope.  He left it up to you to do the assessment.

I think that what he was saying is that if this is your true wish you should pursue it and he also thinks that you are rather pretty and will be successful in your transition

I am not a Buddhist now, but spent a fair while studying the Zen and Shin versions.
I think he was suggesting it is up to you.   If you approach the whole question of transition as stripping away illusion, you are left with the real person.  Then you will be able to follow the authentic path to personal fulfillment. 

In my opinion, it sounds similar to the main Wiccan  Rede. "An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will".   Your monk sounds wise. 

If you seek to help others or care for others with no regard to getting anything in return for yourself then you are pure. However, be careful who you help as some may not have good intentions. Find those with simple needs. It could even be sharing your love and concern for others here with a intention not to judge or demand but to offer hope and love. This is pure love.

I am Buddhist.  And no, that was not any judgement.  It is a fundamental principle in Buddhism.  Your heart has to be clean and pure.  A wish cannot come from greed, jealosy, envy, etc.  Those would be impure wishes.

If it is true in your heart, and pure in reason, and said from your highest self, then that's what you will manifest.... and it will come from inside of you, not the exterior.

I know that meaning as well, If you wish is pure, you will be blessed, that monk is so great.
If you wish from the bottom of your heart, fully conciousness, fully enjoy, pure without be involved by something such as you wanna be like her, or you wanna be like him, or someone forces you to be like that, or just because your working, or you have some problem life and want escape from the reality, or anything else that's involved from the outside, you will be blessed.
All the Buddhas and Bodhisatvas can see the truth of suffering with thier wisdom.

you are so lucky Donna met that monk.

Quote from: DonnaTroy on May 05, 2012, 06:40:12 AM
I need help, i was getting blessing from this monk and when i told him my wish (they said to do that, it's visak day here) to transition and fully pass, the monk smiled and said something like "If you wish is pure, you will be blessed", do you guys think he was saying my wish wasn't pure?!?!?!?Help Please!!!

I don't know for sure what he meant (since I'm not him!), but to me, it could also mean: if you're sure about what you want, then you won't get in your own way.

We're our own greatest obstacles, a lot of the time :).

Hmm sorry to "revive" this thread...

"Pure" and "blessing" may have different meanings, depending on the cultural context.

In traditional Buddhist countries, "pure" often means free from the so-called 3 (or 5 in Mahayana teachings) poisons: ignorance (meaning not understanding how things really are, and taking what appears as having intrinsic existence), attachment (meaning exaggerating the positive qualities of something and desiring that something), aversion (meaning exaggerating the negative qualities of something and rejecting that something), pride (meaning the belief that you're somehow more special or more important than others and thus belittling others) and envy or jealously (due to the belief in one's superior importance, having resentment about the happiness that others enjoy).

(See also http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kleshas_(Buddhism)#Five_poisons (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kleshas_(Buddhism)#Five_poisons) )

In the Vajrayana teachings it can also mean "free from the three spheres", a rather curious way of describing subject/action/object — the belief that each has separate, intrinsic existence. Buddhism encourages the training in viewing things as they are: interdependent, inter-related, co-existing and co-appearing — Interdependent Co-arising or Dependent Co-origination. So "purity" can mean, in this context, that we should learn to view things as they really are, interdependently co-arising, and not as separately existing by themselves.

"Blessing" also has a different contextual meaning. The literal translation from the Sanskrit, rendered in Tibetan, simpl means "wave of influence". A person is "blessed" by recognizing certain attributes or qualities of a good practitioner, teacher, a Buddha, whatever, and, feeling inspired by them, tries to emulate those same qualities. Due to interdependent co-arising, we recognize these qualities in others because we have the same potential as them, and this allows us to work with ourselves to fulfill that potential and give rise to those qualities in ourselves.

So one way to interpret the monk's answer is, "if you are able to think of your transition as being free from the 3 (or 5) poisons, or free from the three spheres, then you will be able to go through it and, as a result, achieve the same qualities, benefits, and accomplishments as others who did the same".

It's rather a mouthful, and a very profound answer.

My own attempt to make it simpler... what are the motivations behind your transition? If they're stained by the belief that somehow you will reach everlasting happiness through it, or somehow it will make you a better person (or superior to others), then surely you will not achieve any positive results with that. On the other hand, if you understand that everlasting happiness will not come from your transition, and that you won't be neither a better or a worse person because of that, but, instead, by emulating those who did train their minds and accomplished the goal of reaching everlasting happiness, then, whatever the results of your transition, you will achieve the same goal. Even more simply: everlasting happiness will not come from your transition, but from the mindset you have.

A bit tough, isn't it? Like my own teachers keep repeating, Buddhism is harsh, rough, and direct to the point, and the more it is practice, the more it makes us feel uncomfortable. Which is great: if we feel uncomfortable, we start questioning our own ego, and that's supposed to be the whole point of the training.

As human beings we often think that everything is about us.  Especially when we are transitioning and our focus tends to be upon ourselves.

The reality is that things people say are not about us, even when it seems like they are, even when the person saying the thing assures us that it is.