Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: idontknow on May 12, 2012, 07:01:29 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Don't really know where to start
Post by: idontknow on May 12, 2012, 07:01:29 PM
Post by: idontknow on May 12, 2012, 07:01:29 PM
Hi, I know it's been a while since i've last been on but i'm going to get on here more from now on.
I don't really know where to start.. I want to cut my hair, but something is holding me back from doing that. What I mean is that something is holding me back from being myself, and because of that, i'm miserable. I have the appearance of a female but the mind of a male. Other than that, i've had bad dysphoria that seemed to get worse when I discovered that I was transgender, which was last year. To deal with my dysphoria, i play on an online game as a guy. It's great because if you play as a guy character, everyone expects that you're a guy. I made some friends that way but they've asked me to video chat, and they've asked me to post pictures of myself. I know what they look like. I ignore them when they ask. They think i'm an old man because of that lol. Anyways, i can't drive yet so I can't really visit a gender therapist until I come out to my parents, which aren't supportive. Then i'd have to change schools. I feel like i'm trapped and I don't know where and how to start. There are too many problems that are holding me back.
I don't really know where to start.. I want to cut my hair, but something is holding me back from doing that. What I mean is that something is holding me back from being myself, and because of that, i'm miserable. I have the appearance of a female but the mind of a male. Other than that, i've had bad dysphoria that seemed to get worse when I discovered that I was transgender, which was last year. To deal with my dysphoria, i play on an online game as a guy. It's great because if you play as a guy character, everyone expects that you're a guy. I made some friends that way but they've asked me to video chat, and they've asked me to post pictures of myself. I know what they look like. I ignore them when they ask. They think i'm an old man because of that lol. Anyways, i can't drive yet so I can't really visit a gender therapist until I come out to my parents, which aren't supportive. Then i'd have to change schools. I feel like i'm trapped and I don't know where and how to start. There are too many problems that are holding me back.
Title: Re: Don't really know where to start
Post by: wheat thins are delicious on May 12, 2012, 08:58:40 PM
Post by: wheat thins are delicious on May 12, 2012, 08:58:40 PM
Maybe start by getting a pixie cut or something slightly longer. It's a good first step, cutting your hair, and with that style cut you can still maintain your "female" appearance.
Title: Re: Don't really know where to start
Post by: nicole99 on May 13, 2012, 03:29:30 AM
Post by: nicole99 on May 13, 2012, 03:29:30 AM
It's tough starting out. Particularly when you are dependent.
What do you feel is the biggest thing holding you back?
It sounds to me that you want space to explore things in a safe way.
Here are some suggestions to get you on your way:
Come out to your parents in a planned way (highly recommend this)
Start working male clothing into your wardrobe, maybe start small by buying some male underwear or shoes or socks. Try packing...
Start working on a plan to save money - get a part time job (you are going to need money)
See if you have a queer group in your school. Perhaps you could get in contact with them. They may have people you could meet and hang out with outside of school where you can be yourself.
get in touch with the local trans community or support groups. Perhaps you can meet with them.
all the best to you hun!
Hugs.
What do you feel is the biggest thing holding you back?
It sounds to me that you want space to explore things in a safe way.
Here are some suggestions to get you on your way:
Come out to your parents in a planned way (highly recommend this)
Start working male clothing into your wardrobe, maybe start small by buying some male underwear or shoes or socks. Try packing...
Start working on a plan to save money - get a part time job (you are going to need money)
See if you have a queer group in your school. Perhaps you could get in contact with them. They may have people you could meet and hang out with outside of school where you can be yourself.
get in touch with the local trans community or support groups. Perhaps you can meet with them.
all the best to you hun!
Hugs.
Title: Re: Don't really know where to start
Post by: spacial on May 13, 2012, 03:52:17 AM
Post by: spacial on May 13, 2012, 03:52:17 AM
It's just a thought, but you seem to be having what most of us would consider to be, healthy, normal doubts.
For your hair. May I make a suggestion?
If you go for an ambiguous style, you aren't really proving anything to yourself.
Cut it all off. Completely. Go out and buy one of those beard trimmers, that look very similar to hair trimmers, but don't cut to the skin, and cut it all off yourself.
That way, if you do suddenly realise you are totally insane, you can dismiss it as an aberrant moment and have a laugh.
For your hair. May I make a suggestion?
If you go for an ambiguous style, you aren't really proving anything to yourself.
Cut it all off. Completely. Go out and buy one of those beard trimmers, that look very similar to hair trimmers, but don't cut to the skin, and cut it all off yourself.
That way, if you do suddenly realise you are totally insane, you can dismiss it as an aberrant moment and have a laugh.
Title: Re: Don't really know where to start
Post by: Justin 21 on May 13, 2012, 05:02:01 AM
Post by: Justin 21 on May 13, 2012, 05:02:01 AM
Quote from: spacial on May 13, 2012, 03:52:17 AM
It's just a thought, but you seem to be having what most of us would consider to be, healthy, normal doubts.
For your hair. May I make a suggestion?
If you go for an ambiguous style, you aren't really proving anything to yourself.
Cut it all off. Completely. Go out and buy one of those beard trimmers, that look very similar to hair trimmers, but don't cut to the skin, and cut it all off yourself
That way, if you do suddenly realise you are totally insane, you can dismiss it as an aberrant moment and have a laugh.
this actually works, it's how i started. i used the clippers my dad uses for our dog they are made not to cut the skin. and if you're really worried about what your parents think just tell them you did it for charity.
good luck :)