Community Conversation => Significant Others talk => Topic started by: Jessikee on June 15, 2012, 12:46:07 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Rocky Road.
Post by: Jessikee on June 15, 2012, 12:46:07 PM
Post by: Jessikee on June 15, 2012, 12:46:07 PM
Well, we thought things were getting better. Ha.
The wedding planning is slowly coming along. We still can't decide if we want to invite all of our family or just immediate.
However, my darling Fiance's mother is making this decision a little bit easier for us, since we're running out of time to make decisions.
Lately she's been great about pronouns and names in public places, especially if an outsider calls her son 'Sir' or another male pronoun, but when she's at home she name drops and uses the wrong pronouns. When he confronted her she said "I can call you what I want whenever I want." Apparently they got into a huge argument about it, but it was pointless because she never wants to hear what he has to say and I feel like she's never going to change her ways. She's still calling me his 'life partner' like he's not capable of being my husband and he's a lesbian, and she even had the nerve to say that she "May not be able to make it to the wedding" because her husband just got back from Iraq and "they have a lot they have and want to do." When her husband is in the background saying he wouldn't have any problems getting leave to go to the wedding. The wedding that is three months away. The wedding that she's known about for a year now but she still insists that they may not be able to make it.
I just don't understand why she continues to feel like she needs to hurt him. Everyone else in his family has accepted him, aside from his real father. His siblings, his aunts, uncles, and cousins have no issues at all with him. His real father treats him like a circus side show and tells all of his friends all about his "Transgender son" and tries to get DJ to send him pictures while he's spending time with them, and his mother continues to hurt him and trying to make him feel inadequate. I'm sick of seeing my man so hurt and torn up by these people.
I tell him to distance himself from them but it doesn't work. The fact of the matter is, they're his parents and he wants acceptance from them, no matter how hurtful and mean they are. I just wish there was more that I could do to make these awful people stop hurting this man, stop hating me, and just support their son and I's relationship. Mostly I want them to love and support him. I couldn't care less if they liked me. Hell, even his grandmothers are very happy having him as a Grandson and tell him all the time how much they love him and even me, and I've never even met them! (His Mom's mother and his Step dad's mom)
I don't know. I think I just came here to vent. Truth is I don't even want to send her an invitation to the wedding, but he tells me that I can't do that. But if she's going to be so nasty, I don't want her at the wedding. I don't want her outing him in front of my family. DJ is living stealth, and he really likes his life the way it is with people seeing him the way that he is. I'm just tired and frustrated and about ready to run away and elope with my husband and just say "Eff it" to the rest of it. Though, I was really looking forward to cake. =P
The wedding planning is slowly coming along. We still can't decide if we want to invite all of our family or just immediate.
However, my darling Fiance's mother is making this decision a little bit easier for us, since we're running out of time to make decisions.
Lately she's been great about pronouns and names in public places, especially if an outsider calls her son 'Sir' or another male pronoun, but when she's at home she name drops and uses the wrong pronouns. When he confronted her she said "I can call you what I want whenever I want." Apparently they got into a huge argument about it, but it was pointless because she never wants to hear what he has to say and I feel like she's never going to change her ways. She's still calling me his 'life partner' like he's not capable of being my husband and he's a lesbian, and she even had the nerve to say that she "May not be able to make it to the wedding" because her husband just got back from Iraq and "they have a lot they have and want to do." When her husband is in the background saying he wouldn't have any problems getting leave to go to the wedding. The wedding that is three months away. The wedding that she's known about for a year now but she still insists that they may not be able to make it.
I just don't understand why she continues to feel like she needs to hurt him. Everyone else in his family has accepted him, aside from his real father. His siblings, his aunts, uncles, and cousins have no issues at all with him. His real father treats him like a circus side show and tells all of his friends all about his "Transgender son" and tries to get DJ to send him pictures while he's spending time with them, and his mother continues to hurt him and trying to make him feel inadequate. I'm sick of seeing my man so hurt and torn up by these people.
I tell him to distance himself from them but it doesn't work. The fact of the matter is, they're his parents and he wants acceptance from them, no matter how hurtful and mean they are. I just wish there was more that I could do to make these awful people stop hurting this man, stop hating me, and just support their son and I's relationship. Mostly I want them to love and support him. I couldn't care less if they liked me. Hell, even his grandmothers are very happy having him as a Grandson and tell him all the time how much they love him and even me, and I've never even met them! (His Mom's mother and his Step dad's mom)
I don't know. I think I just came here to vent. Truth is I don't even want to send her an invitation to the wedding, but he tells me that I can't do that. But if she's going to be so nasty, I don't want her at the wedding. I don't want her outing him in front of my family. DJ is living stealth, and he really likes his life the way it is with people seeing him the way that he is. I'm just tired and frustrated and about ready to run away and elope with my husband and just say "Eff it" to the rest of it. Though, I was really looking forward to cake. =P