Community Conversation => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Transsexual talk => FTM Top Surgery => Topic started by: LokiSon on July 05, 2012, 12:32:34 PM Return to Full Version

Title: How to achieve what seems impossible
Post by: LokiSon on July 05, 2012, 12:32:34 PM
I am actually making this post on behalf of a dear friend who is a FTM. We have been looking into financing options for some time now. He has a surgeon picked out and during the consultation he was quoted 6000 for his top surgery, which would cover not only the surgery, but the follow up visits, etc. This is all he wants in the world, and so all I seem to want. I'd do anything to help him achieve this, but it seems more and more impossible every day.

My friend has a good credit score, but a poor credit history. He's never had credit cards, in fact the only loan he's got is that on his car, which he has paid flawlessly, however this has now caused a lot of problems. We've tried Care credit, medloan finance, a few credit cards, etc - but he continues to get denied because of that poor history, even though his actual score is in the 700's. His mother was willing to cosign for him, but her credit score is only high 500's, and so we fear that won't really be enough either.

He was recently approved for 1000 on a credit card. The surgeons also said they could work with payment plans for 500-1000 of the balance, and he has about a grand saved up, but that's still only half way... Saving up would take a very long time. With all the bills there isn't much room for such a thing. We want to move this winter, and my friend is planning on becoming a police officer, but he wanted to get this top surgery done before the employment, because what job will let him take the weeks off he needs for this?

And it is a need as I'm sure every one of you understand. He can't stand it, and I can't stand to see him hurt this way. He gets so upset, or angry, and he hates the way he looks and who he is, he hates that he has breasts and can't get this surgery. I would do anything to give it to him, but like I said it's feeling more and more hopeless. Is there anything any of you can think of that may help him get the other three grand he needs? He seems like he's all but given up hope that he will ever be anything more than what he is now, and while he will always be perfect and loved in my eyes no matter who he is, what he does, or what gender he is - I know the same is not how he looks upon himself. Please any suggestions are very appreciated! I want to help him so much.. :(
Title: Re: How to achieve what seems impossible
Post by: Felix on July 08, 2012, 03:09:20 AM
Tell him good luck and hang on and all that. I haven't any better advice, but I don't want to just not answer after reading. Don't let him give up.
Title: Re: How to achieve what seems impossible
Post by: Rin on July 09, 2013, 08:11:28 PM
http://jimcollinsfoundation.org/apply/ (http://jimcollinsfoundation.org/apply/) is something I've come across recently. I don't know if you've been able to get anything since posting this, but this may help him...
Title: Re: How to achieve what seems impossible
Post by: Darrin Scott on July 20, 2013, 11:04:56 PM
Quote from: LokiSon on July 05, 2012, 12:32:34 PM
I am actually making this post on behalf of a dear friend who is a FTM. We have been looking into financing options for some time now. He has a surgeon picked out and during the consultation he was quoted 6000 for his top surgery, which would cover not only the surgery, but the follow up visits, etc. This is all he wants in the world, and so all I seem to want. I'd do anything to help him achieve this, but it seems more and more impossible every day.

My friend has a good credit score, but a poor credit history. He's never had credit cards, in fact the only loan he's got is that on his car, which he has paid flawlessly, however this has now caused a lot of problems. We've tried Care credit, medloan finance, a few credit cards, etc - but he continues to get denied because of that poor history, even though his actual score is in the 700's. His mother was willing to cosign for him, but her credit score is only high 500's, and so we fear that won't really be enough either.

He was recently approved for 1000 on a credit card. The surgeons also said they could work with payment plans for 500-1000 of the balance, and he has about a grand saved up, but that's still only half way... Saving up would take a very long time. With all the bills there isn't much room for such a thing. We want to move this winter, and my friend is planning on becoming a police officer, but he wanted to get this top surgery done before the employment, because what job will let him take the weeks off he needs for this?

And it is a need as I'm sure every one of you understand. He can't stand it, and I can't stand to see him hurt this way. He gets so upset, or angry, and he hates the way he looks and who he is, he hates that he has breasts and can't get this surgery. I would do anything to give it to him, but like I said it's feeling more and more hopeless. Is there anything any of you can think of that may help him get the other three grand he needs? He seems like he's all but given up hope that he will ever be anything more than what he is now, and while he will always be perfect and loved in my eyes no matter who he is, what he does, or what gender he is - I know the same is not how he looks upon himself. Please any suggestions are very appreciated! I want to help him so much.. :(

Well, it might be a good idea to see where you can cut expenses and seriously look where you can make serious sacrifices. You said you want to move. That costs money, can you put it off until the surgery? What about groceries? I know you need to eat, but what kinds of food are you buying? Is it expensive, organic or even just buying meat? I've lived off of $180 for food in a month before. For 2 people. It SUCKS, but can be done. That's the only advice I can really give. Just try to see where you can cut expenses. That might help.
Title: Re: How to achieve what seems impossible
Post by: Soren on July 20, 2013, 11:18:50 PM
Quote from: Darrin Scott on July 20, 2013, 11:04:56 PM
Well, it might be a good idea to see where you can cut expenses and seriously look where you can make serious sacrifices. You said you want to move. That costs money, can you put it off until the surgery? What about groceries? I know you need to eat, but what kinds of food are you buying? Is it expensive, organic or even just buying meat? I've lived off of $180 for food in a month before. For 2 people. It SUCKS, but can be done. That's the only advice I can really give. Just try to see where you can cut expenses. That might help.
Buy things like toilet paper in bulk.
Canned foods too.
Dollar stores have some pretty good stuff, as well as garage sales and estate sales if you really need something that isn't, say, an appliance.
Cut gym memberships if you have them- workout at home or in a public venue instead.
Keep a big ol' jar for loose change, roll it up and bring it to a bank when it gets full.
Go through your stuff and sell anything you haven't used in the last year or so.
If you drink soup, get the condensed kind and just add your own water- it's far cheaper.
If you or him are any good at crafting, you can make some little things to sell on etsy.
Get books from the library instead of buying them. <- there are also plenty of books on how to save up money as well as different ways to use items you probably already have.


I have no experiences with credit, loans, or credit cards, so I can't help there.

Sorry, that's all I can think of.
Title: Re: How to achieve what seems impossible
Post by: Arch on July 20, 2013, 11:35:56 PM
Get DVDs at the library, too. Earn money by petsitting, babysitting, housesitting, doing yard work. Brew your own coffee if you buy it out. Don't eat out, ever. Have a picnic every so often or make a special meal at home instead. Start a ChipIn account. Have fundraising parties or a raffle (find out about the legal side first). If you can walk instead of driving, do that.

Most of these are small ways to save. For instance, I figure that I saved only a couple of bucks a week when I was walking everywhere in my neighborhood, but that could add up to a hundred a year. Same with the DVDs. But if you put a bunch of small savings together, make a little on the side by selling off old belongings (as Soren mentions), and have a little coming in each week for petsitting or some other venture, it really does add up in a year.
Title: Re: How to achieve what seems impossible
Post by: GAtransman on August 26, 2013, 12:30:01 AM
He can always do what I did. I went from drwams of survery to saving for surgery in 3 months. I didnt resign my lease on my apartment, moved everything into a storage unit and I became a truck driver. Every Thursday I called the surgery and paid on it until I was done. I wish you friend good luck.