Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Elijah3291 on July 05, 2012, 03:24:32 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Elijah3291 on July 05, 2012, 03:24:32 PM
Post by: Elijah3291 on July 05, 2012, 03:24:32 PM
Hey guys, so you didn't hear from me this week because I was in the hospital.
Last wednesday night I bought a bottle of rum, intending to chill out, get drunk and relax a bit. I stayed up all night and drank more and more over the whole night. The whole time I had mild suicidal thoughts, finding the idea of death funny and giggling about it. By thursday morning I was almost done with my bottle and my parents went to work. I finished my rum and then, in my drunkenness, became actively suicidal. I cannot say it was a conscious decision and I would have never ever done it or had the gall to do it if i were sober. I took 24 sleeping pills, and some of my bipolar mothers hardcore medicine. That is the rest I remember.
Next thing I know I am in a hospital, i can kinda see my mom and it is dark. I know I am in a hospital and I think that I have had my top surgery. I bring my hands to my chest and try to feel around but I dont feel any bandages. I become confused and have no idea what is going on.
I wake up a bit more and realize that I have a neck brace, and a bunch of tubes down my throat breathing for me. My mom is with me and I cannot talk or move my head. She gives me a notebook and turns out I can write, so I write her questions. I dont remember most of them, they were very loopy and she kept the notebook. most of the questions I asked her involved top surgery, the tube in my mouth, and dreams I was having, and my distress over the catheter.
I wake up a bit more and they are about to take the tubes out of my mouth. it was scary, the tubes were way down my throat. They pull them out and tell me to cough as they do so. it hurt. Then they ask me what my name is. I am worried because i dont think i would be able to speak. I try to say my name but nothing comes out, then I try again and it comes out in a whisper.
My mom talks to me some and she tells me what happened. She says that she came home from work 2 hours early, she found me foaming at the mouth, not breathing, at the bottom of the stairs with a TV on top of me with the cord tangled on my feet, with the living room littered with pills.
I had no recollection of that.
My dad flew down from TX to come see me, and it was kinda heartbreaking when he sat next to my bed and was almost crying when he said "I'm so glad you are ok Elijah" (yes he said elijah too)
my grandmother did not care what happened to me, when she was told she said she "didnt want to know about it" lets just say my mom called her and told her off.
I spent the next few days with a nurse in my room 24/7, it was awful, and I had a very uncomfortable catheter. I was very weak and it was hard to sit up, eventually I was able to walk around the halls leaning on a wheelchair.
All of the staff was very respectful, and they treated me as male, and my body as female.
5 days later I was released, but then I had to go to the mental hospital, which was not as bad as the hospital. I had my own room and a bit of privacy, but I was just ready to go home.
I just got home today and I am so happy to be back, I am also now heavily medicated with antidepressants.
My mom says that she thought she lost me twice, once when she found me not breathing, the second time when i was in the hospital and my brain waves and vitals all went crazy. I am so freaking amazed that i made it through this with no mental or physical injuries other then bruises. I guess if I were to tell anyone who is suicidal, well, once you actually get close to it, like, in inch from death you really realize how glad you are that it didn't happen.
Last wednesday night I bought a bottle of rum, intending to chill out, get drunk and relax a bit. I stayed up all night and drank more and more over the whole night. The whole time I had mild suicidal thoughts, finding the idea of death funny and giggling about it. By thursday morning I was almost done with my bottle and my parents went to work. I finished my rum and then, in my drunkenness, became actively suicidal. I cannot say it was a conscious decision and I would have never ever done it or had the gall to do it if i were sober. I took 24 sleeping pills, and some of my bipolar mothers hardcore medicine. That is the rest I remember.
Next thing I know I am in a hospital, i can kinda see my mom and it is dark. I know I am in a hospital and I think that I have had my top surgery. I bring my hands to my chest and try to feel around but I dont feel any bandages. I become confused and have no idea what is going on.
I wake up a bit more and realize that I have a neck brace, and a bunch of tubes down my throat breathing for me. My mom is with me and I cannot talk or move my head. She gives me a notebook and turns out I can write, so I write her questions. I dont remember most of them, they were very loopy and she kept the notebook. most of the questions I asked her involved top surgery, the tube in my mouth, and dreams I was having, and my distress over the catheter.
I wake up a bit more and they are about to take the tubes out of my mouth. it was scary, the tubes were way down my throat. They pull them out and tell me to cough as they do so. it hurt. Then they ask me what my name is. I am worried because i dont think i would be able to speak. I try to say my name but nothing comes out, then I try again and it comes out in a whisper.
My mom talks to me some and she tells me what happened. She says that she came home from work 2 hours early, she found me foaming at the mouth, not breathing, at the bottom of the stairs with a TV on top of me with the cord tangled on my feet, with the living room littered with pills.
I had no recollection of that.
My dad flew down from TX to come see me, and it was kinda heartbreaking when he sat next to my bed and was almost crying when he said "I'm so glad you are ok Elijah" (yes he said elijah too)
my grandmother did not care what happened to me, when she was told she said she "didnt want to know about it" lets just say my mom called her and told her off.
I spent the next few days with a nurse in my room 24/7, it was awful, and I had a very uncomfortable catheter. I was very weak and it was hard to sit up, eventually I was able to walk around the halls leaning on a wheelchair.
All of the staff was very respectful, and they treated me as male, and my body as female.
5 days later I was released, but then I had to go to the mental hospital, which was not as bad as the hospital. I had my own room and a bit of privacy, but I was just ready to go home.
I just got home today and I am so happy to be back, I am also now heavily medicated with antidepressants.
My mom says that she thought she lost me twice, once when she found me not breathing, the second time when i was in the hospital and my brain waves and vitals all went crazy. I am so freaking amazed that i made it through this with no mental or physical injuries other then bruises. I guess if I were to tell anyone who is suicidal, well, once you actually get close to it, like, in inch from death you really realize how glad you are that it didn't happen.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Jamie D on July 05, 2012, 03:28:37 PM
Post by: Jamie D on July 05, 2012, 03:28:37 PM
You are very lucky your mother came home early.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Devlyn on July 05, 2012, 03:35:03 PM
Post by: Devlyn on July 05, 2012, 03:35:03 PM
Glad you're still with us Elijah. Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Adam (birkin) on July 05, 2012, 03:42:31 PM
Post by: Adam (birkin) on July 05, 2012, 03:42:31 PM
Definitely a close call...*hug* I'm glad that your mom found you.
I think your grandma might have only said that because she couldn't of handled the emotional pain very well. My grandma is like that too, some things she just can't see or hear about because it's too hard for her. Doesn't mean she doesn't care though.
I think your grandma might have only said that because she couldn't of handled the emotional pain very well. My grandma is like that too, some things she just can't see or hear about because it's too hard for her. Doesn't mean she doesn't care though.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: GhostTown11 on July 05, 2012, 03:43:35 PM
Post by: GhostTown11 on July 05, 2012, 03:43:35 PM
Been there, almost done that. Feel better dude!
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Nygeel on July 05, 2012, 03:58:02 PM
Post by: Nygeel on July 05, 2012, 03:58:02 PM
Glad you're okay now. I know the doctors n stuff already discussed things with you but a lot of the times when people drink they become a "sad drunk" where they get depressed or suicidal. Giving up drinking would probably be a good idea. I know my sister gave it up when she was a teen after loads of partying and depression...I think she's 20 years sober, now.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Elijah3291 on July 05, 2012, 04:06:36 PM
Post by: Elijah3291 on July 05, 2012, 04:06:36 PM
thanks everyone
and I intend to partially give up drinking. I have decided to not drink alone anymore, to only drink when i am out with friends, and know that I will be with them the whole time I am drunk.
and I intend to partially give up drinking. I have decided to not drink alone anymore, to only drink when i am out with friends, and know that I will be with them the whole time I am drunk.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: EmmaMcAllister on July 05, 2012, 04:13:21 PM
Post by: EmmaMcAllister on July 05, 2012, 04:13:21 PM
So sorry that you had to go through that, Elijah. I COMPLETELY understand the confusion and terror that comes with waking up attached to a respirator. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But here you are, still with us. I know it's a cliche, but what doesn't kill us... Pain is a motivator for destruction, but it's also a great motivator for self growth. Don't give up. I can't promise it will get any better, but it will get easier to deal with.
♥ Emma
♥ Emma
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: lilacwoman on July 05, 2012, 04:21:30 PM
Post by: lilacwoman on July 05, 2012, 04:21:30 PM
Been there. Tried that. Glad you survived. Hope there's no lasting damage.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Constance on July 05, 2012, 04:26:01 PM
Post by: Constance on July 05, 2012, 04:26:01 PM
Scary stuff, Elijah. I was almost there last summer.
Hang in there. We're here for you.
Hang in there. We're here for you.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Make_It_Good on July 05, 2012, 04:28:03 PM
Post by: Make_It_Good on July 05, 2012, 04:28:03 PM
Wow, Elijah, its so fortunate that your Mum came home early, but gosh, what a horrible panic it must have been for her.
I, along with everyone else, am very glad to hear youre ok now.
Ive spent abit of time in that suicidal area when I was a teen and got to the very edge (literally; a motorway bridge edge :p) and the thoughts and feelings that rush around are indescribable.
I too am so thankful that I didnt succeed. To have more time, to push through our struggles and pains and to continue to find our appreciation for what we do have, is the best thing that can come out of it all.
I hope that with the surrounding care of professionals and your family, you can firmly find your feet again :)
I, along with everyone else, am very glad to hear youre ok now.
Ive spent abit of time in that suicidal area when I was a teen and got to the very edge (literally; a motorway bridge edge :p) and the thoughts and feelings that rush around are indescribable.
I too am so thankful that I didnt succeed. To have more time, to push through our struggles and pains and to continue to find our appreciation for what we do have, is the best thing that can come out of it all.
I hope that with the surrounding care of professionals and your family, you can firmly find your feet again :)
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: AdamMLP on July 05, 2012, 04:43:51 PM
Post by: AdamMLP on July 05, 2012, 04:43:51 PM
Just keep remembering to keep yourself safe and that things will all come good in the end. I'm glad you're okay.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on July 05, 2012, 04:46:31 PM
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on July 05, 2012, 04:46:31 PM
<Standing with hands on hips> Elijah (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-6.gif&hash=105dbcb8acec9232e9cebf362690a85b6bb71a8b)
I am so glad you are still here, Hon. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
I gave up the heavy drinking. Alcohol lowers the inhibitions and we say and do things we wouldn't do.
Stay safe little Brother. Mom and Dad both did a good job. Mom for saving you and Dad for loving his son.
I am so glad you are still here, Hon. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
I gave up the heavy drinking. Alcohol lowers the inhibitions and we say and do things we wouldn't do.
Stay safe little Brother. Mom and Dad both did a good job. Mom for saving you and Dad for loving his son.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: aleon515 on July 05, 2012, 04:48:34 PM
Post by: aleon515 on July 05, 2012, 04:48:34 PM
Man, glad you are back with us! Hang in there.
--Jay Jay
--Jay Jay
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Robert Scott on July 05, 2012, 05:01:48 PM
Post by: Robert Scott on July 05, 2012, 05:01:48 PM
Glad your okay! Take care of yourself man :-\
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: V M on July 05, 2012, 05:11:14 PM
Post by: V M on July 05, 2012, 05:11:14 PM
Glad you're still with us Elijah
You're a very bright young person with a lot of life ahead of you
Hugs Bro
You're a very bright young person with a lot of life ahead of you
Hugs Bro
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Amazon D on July 05, 2012, 05:14:34 PM
Post by: Amazon D on July 05, 2012, 05:14:34 PM
I say go with the sober thing for a yr or two. Get some balance and sanity in yor life so your parents don't suffer again. Next time you might not make it. As you know drinking makes you do dumb things. Be glad you didn't kill somebody in a accident and spend the next 20 yrs in prison. DON'T DRINK DUDE
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Alex11003131 on July 05, 2012, 06:02:53 PM
Post by: Alex11003131 on July 05, 2012, 06:02:53 PM
I'm glad that you're ok, seriously :/ <3
I've never had to wake up in hospital like that before, I've only once woke up in hospital with no idea wtf was going on (I'd broken my skull, after 4 hours of being out I remember coming round with some Dr's face just above mine, whom is proceded to vomit over)
And you're very lucky about the Mental Hospital, I spent 7 days in one, on suicide watch, it was horrible. The boredom, the drugs (which I got addicted too) and the aggressive staff (who restrained me everytime I got upset)
I used to drink alot too, getting drunk everytime I could (nothing like yourself though) and it was hard, but I stopped it. I don't remember exactly how, mostly from help with friends and music.
If you want my facebook message me and I'll add you, I'm usually online to give friends and people I care about a kind word when they need one :) <3
Just take care of yourself, please, no one wants you to go through with this, you're better than this and we care about you <3
I've never had to wake up in hospital like that before, I've only once woke up in hospital with no idea wtf was going on (I'd broken my skull, after 4 hours of being out I remember coming round with some Dr's face just above mine, whom is proceded to vomit over)
And you're very lucky about the Mental Hospital, I spent 7 days in one, on suicide watch, it was horrible. The boredom, the drugs (which I got addicted too) and the aggressive staff (who restrained me everytime I got upset)
I used to drink alot too, getting drunk everytime I could (nothing like yourself though) and it was hard, but I stopped it. I don't remember exactly how, mostly from help with friends and music.
If you want my facebook message me and I'll add you, I'm usually online to give friends and people I care about a kind word when they need one :) <3
Just take care of yourself, please, no one wants you to go through with this, you're better than this and we care about you <3
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Beth Andrea on July 05, 2012, 07:29:50 PM
Post by: Beth Andrea on July 05, 2012, 07:29:50 PM
I am so glad you're still here, Elijah...*hugs*
Something for others to remember (and maybe use) if they ever come across someone who is thinking of taking their life...
I've been at that "inch" twice in my life, and both times I evaded death. Once by throwing up the pills/booze, the other time by hearing "someone" inside me say, "Take one more look around". Which I did, and seeing the beauty all around me, put down the pistol.
If you tell a person "you'll be glad this didn't happen", chances are good they'll get angry and vent something terribly on you...LET THEM VENT. Let them get angry. Let them cry. Let them do anything except kill themselves.
OMG, I have to go now and cry. So glad you're here, Elijah.
*hugs*
Something for others to remember (and maybe use) if they ever come across someone who is thinking of taking their life...
QuoteI guess if I were to tell anyone who is suicidal, well, once you actually get close to it, like, in inch from death you really realize how glad you are that it didn't happen.
I've been at that "inch" twice in my life, and both times I evaded death. Once by throwing up the pills/booze, the other time by hearing "someone" inside me say, "Take one more look around". Which I did, and seeing the beauty all around me, put down the pistol.
If you tell a person "you'll be glad this didn't happen", chances are good they'll get angry and vent something terribly on you...LET THEM VENT. Let them get angry. Let them cry. Let them do anything except kill themselves.
OMG, I have to go now and cry. So glad you're here, Elijah.
*hugs*
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on July 05, 2012, 07:42:29 PM
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on July 05, 2012, 07:42:29 PM
Quote from: Elijah on July 05, 2012, 04:06:36 PM
thanks everyone
and I intend to partially give up drinking. I have decided to not drink alone anymore, to only drink when i am out with friends, and know that I will be with them the whole time I am drunk.
I was just about to suggest that.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: AdamMLP on July 05, 2012, 07:48:53 PM
Post by: AdamMLP on July 05, 2012, 07:48:53 PM
Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 05, 2012, 07:29:50 PM
I am so glad you're still here, Elijah...*hugs*
Something for others to remember (and maybe use) if they ever come across someone who is thinking of taking their life...QuoteI guess if I were to tell anyone who is suicidal, well, once you actually get close to it, like, in inch from death you really realize how glad you are that it didn't happen.
I've been at that "inch" twice in my life, and both times I evaded death. Once by throwing up the pills/booze, the other time by hearing "someone" inside me say, "Take one more look around". Which I did, and seeing the beauty all around me, put down the pistol.
If you tell a person "you'll be glad this didn't happen", chances are good they'll get angry and vent something terribly on you...LET THEM VENT. Let them get angry. Let them cry. Let them do anything except kill themselves.
I just want to add to this encase anyone else does happen to be unfortunate to feel like that and remembers this, that even if you don't feel like you're glad to be alive straight away, one day you will.
I spent around 7 years with serious depression, more suicide attempts than anyone knows, and only since around this Christmas can I really say that I'm better. But I'm so glad that I never managed it because being happy is so worth it. I never thought that I would get there but I am and every time I think about it I'm so relieved that I did manage it.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: insideontheoutside on July 06, 2012, 12:05:19 AM
Post by: insideontheoutside on July 06, 2012, 12:05:19 AM
That is what I'd call fate right there ... your mom coming home early ... you miraculously surviving ... Sometimes I honestly believe when things like that happen there's a "higher purpose" (nothing to do with religion) for you in life. You know what I mean?
I never did the pill thing, but I did the booze thing big time (and other non legal drugs). I feel like I survived sometimes just to tell others the tale - to tell them to not lose hope and that it does get better. Even with its ups and downs, life is so worth living.
Also, you may reconsider the getting drunk thing, even with friends. The time I nearly cashed out I WAS with friends who ended up just dropping me off in a heap at the hospital because they didn't know what else to do. I got lucky that my drunk friends even did that.
I never did the pill thing, but I did the booze thing big time (and other non legal drugs). I feel like I survived sometimes just to tell others the tale - to tell them to not lose hope and that it does get better. Even with its ups and downs, life is so worth living.
Also, you may reconsider the getting drunk thing, even with friends. The time I nearly cashed out I WAS with friends who ended up just dropping me off in a heap at the hospital because they didn't know what else to do. I got lucky that my drunk friends even did that.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: DobbsenEuPrattomen on July 06, 2012, 12:18:42 AM
Post by: DobbsenEuPrattomen on July 06, 2012, 12:18:42 AM
Hi Elijah.
I'm new here, and though I haven't gotten to know you or anyone else here yet, I wanted to reply to your post and let you know that I am very glad that you are recovering from this, and that I will still have the chance to get to know you here. *hugs*
Please take good care of yourself. :)
I'm new here, and though I haven't gotten to know you or anyone else here yet, I wanted to reply to your post and let you know that I am very glad that you are recovering from this, and that I will still have the chance to get to know you here. *hugs*
Please take good care of yourself. :)
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Cindy on July 06, 2012, 03:54:52 AM
Post by: Cindy on July 06, 2012, 03:54:52 AM
Oh Elijah,
That was not the brightest thing to do, but I'm so glad you are safe.
Your parents are there for you and you have family here so there is never a reason to be alone and suicidal. You have a great life ahead of you so enjoy it and live it.
Hugs Bro
Cindy
That was not the brightest thing to do, but I'm so glad you are safe.
Your parents are there for you and you have family here so there is never a reason to be alone and suicidal. You have a great life ahead of you so enjoy it and live it.
Hugs Bro
Cindy
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Morgan. on July 06, 2012, 05:07:20 AM
Post by: Morgan. on July 06, 2012, 05:07:20 AM
So glad to hear you're alright Elijah. It's very lucky that your Mum came home early - definitely weren't meant to leave this place yet. Take care of yourself.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Kreuzfidel on July 06, 2012, 05:16:45 AM
Post by: Kreuzfidel on July 06, 2012, 05:16:45 AM
Elijah, I don't know you very well, but you seem like a sincere and wonderful person. I am so happy that you are still with us. It is so easy to believe that you are alone - I know looking back at all the times I felt abandoned, there was always someone there - I was just blind to it. We are here for you - and it's so true what AlecSky said:
I spent around 7 years with serious depression, more suicide attempts than anyone knows, and only since around this Christmas can I really say that I'm better. But I'm so glad that I never managed it because being happy is so worth it. I never thought that I would get there but I am and every time I think about it I'm so relieved that I did manage it.
I lived with my grandparents for 10 years - as a then 30-year-old and unemployed trans guy living in Bible Belt town of 700, I had resigned myself to the fact that I was going to just kill myself when my grandparents passed away. Luckily, I waited - and met my wife. She saved my life and I never saw it coming. Now, just about 3 years later, I'm on T and looking forward to surgery next year. It happens - it's worth waiting - and the "in the meantime" blows, but that's where places like Susan's comes in. We do have people to reach out to - even if they're "words on a screen" to our eyes. We are all real people here and offering real support. Take care, mate.
I spent around 7 years with serious depression, more suicide attempts than anyone knows, and only since around this Christmas can I really say that I'm better. But I'm so glad that I never managed it because being happy is so worth it. I never thought that I would get there but I am and every time I think about it I'm so relieved that I did manage it.
I lived with my grandparents for 10 years - as a then 30-year-old and unemployed trans guy living in Bible Belt town of 700, I had resigned myself to the fact that I was going to just kill myself when my grandparents passed away. Luckily, I waited - and met my wife. She saved my life and I never saw it coming. Now, just about 3 years later, I'm on T and looking forward to surgery next year. It happens - it's worth waiting - and the "in the meantime" blows, but that's where places like Susan's comes in. We do have people to reach out to - even if they're "words on a screen" to our eyes. We are all real people here and offering real support. Take care, mate.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: dalebert on July 06, 2012, 09:49:33 AM
Post by: dalebert on July 06, 2012, 09:49:33 AM
Quote from: Elijah on July 05, 2012, 03:24:32 PM
...once you actually get close to it, like, in inch from death you really realize how glad you are that it didn't happen.
I'm glad it didn't happen also. I've always hoped I would get to meet you in person some day. You seem cool.
Title: Re: Suicide attempt and near loss of life, my crazy week. (trigger warning/self harm
Post by: Jeatyn on July 06, 2012, 09:54:25 AM
Post by: Jeatyn on July 06, 2012, 09:54:25 AM
I don't have much to say other than I am so glad your mom came home early, we haven't really spoke directly but I follow your posts and you seem like an awesome guy and the world would have suffered a horrible loss.