Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: resurrectedpixels on July 12, 2012, 06:18:04 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Well, I'm out.
Post by: resurrectedpixels on July 12, 2012, 06:18:04 AM
Post by: resurrectedpixels on July 12, 2012, 06:18:04 AM
I'm also new here. I've been meaning to make an account here for the past few weeks, but chickening out at the last minute, or the 'site would crash as I tried to sign up.
I had an anxiety attack earlier today - they're not too common for me, but they're common enough that they've happened a few times - and since a friend was over and leaving to go to the airport mum made a huge deal at it and was yelling at me. Obviously, panic attack + overhearing my friend saying to leave 'her' alone + yelling = feeling worse. It took a while and a few anti-anxiety meds (generally one will totally knock me out, but today two did nothing but make me feel like my veins were going to explode, so, naturally, I took more) but I finally managed to calm myself down. The extra medication ensured that I slept all day.
Now my mum and I started arguing because of that, with me thinking she should of left me alone because I was gasping for breath and hardly able to do anything, and she was thinking that I should of gotten up. Then she came out with something along the lines "well I'd hate to think you'd been sexually abused but-" and I told her I hadn't, which is true, and she started making more guesses until she came out with something to do with a sex change operation and I just said yes.
Now she knows, we've had no conversation about it (she kept going back to the anxiety and stuff instead of saying anything about it), she's avoiding pronouns (which is preferable) and I still feel like crying and/or jumping off a bridge.
Eh, bad introduction, but I guess that's expected. I just don't know what to do now.
I had an anxiety attack earlier today - they're not too common for me, but they're common enough that they've happened a few times - and since a friend was over and leaving to go to the airport mum made a huge deal at it and was yelling at me. Obviously, panic attack + overhearing my friend saying to leave 'her' alone + yelling = feeling worse. It took a while and a few anti-anxiety meds (generally one will totally knock me out, but today two did nothing but make me feel like my veins were going to explode, so, naturally, I took more) but I finally managed to calm myself down. The extra medication ensured that I slept all day.
Now my mum and I started arguing because of that, with me thinking she should of left me alone because I was gasping for breath and hardly able to do anything, and she was thinking that I should of gotten up. Then she came out with something along the lines "well I'd hate to think you'd been sexually abused but-" and I told her I hadn't, which is true, and she started making more guesses until she came out with something to do with a sex change operation and I just said yes.
Now she knows, we've had no conversation about it (she kept going back to the anxiety and stuff instead of saying anything about it), she's avoiding pronouns (which is preferable) and I still feel like crying and/or jumping off a bridge.
Eh, bad introduction, but I guess that's expected. I just don't know what to do now.
Title: Re: Well, I'm out.
Post by: justmeinoz on July 12, 2012, 06:35:46 AM
Post by: justmeinoz on July 12, 2012, 06:35:46 AM
Sorry to hear it came about by such a traumatic route, but congratulations anyway. It is a tough thing to do.
If you want to cry, go ahead it is a good release, and one of our Prime Ministers did it in public when talking about the Tiananmen Square massacre years ago, so it is totally cool for guys to do it. Just shows you are secure in your masculinity.
Jumping off bridges and the like is however, decidedly uncool, as it really doesn't solve the problem, just avoids it, and leaves a mess for others to clean up in many ways. There are a lot of people here who have been through similar situations, and will have good advice for a young lad like yourself, who is just learning the ropes.
I look forward to more posts as you explore the New World that is opening up.
If your Mum wants to PM me any time she is more than welcome, as well as being TS myself, my son is FtM so I have seen it from both sides. She is bound to have lots of questions.
Karen.
If you want to cry, go ahead it is a good release, and one of our Prime Ministers did it in public when talking about the Tiananmen Square massacre years ago, so it is totally cool for guys to do it. Just shows you are secure in your masculinity.
Jumping off bridges and the like is however, decidedly uncool, as it really doesn't solve the problem, just avoids it, and leaves a mess for others to clean up in many ways. There are a lot of people here who have been through similar situations, and will have good advice for a young lad like yourself, who is just learning the ropes.
I look forward to more posts as you explore the New World that is opening up.
If your Mum wants to PM me any time she is more than welcome, as well as being TS myself, my son is FtM so I have seen it from both sides. She is bound to have lots of questions.
Karen.
Title: Re: Well, I'm out.
Post by: resurrectedpixels on July 12, 2012, 01:57:43 PM
Post by: resurrectedpixels on July 12, 2012, 01:57:43 PM
Thank you, Kathrine! Being refered to as a guy is, well, a huge comfort for me. It's good to know that there are people on my side (I half expected people angry at me for some reason). If mum brings it up again (there's a fair chance she'll just ignore it and hope it goes away) I'll be sure to direct her to you. c:
Title: Re: Well, I'm out.
Post by: Justin 21 on July 13, 2012, 03:27:58 AM
Post by: Justin 21 on July 13, 2012, 03:27:58 AM
hey man welcome from an Aussie 'guy'
there will always be people here who are on your side, me being one of them. now since i presume you're just starting on your journey and since i'm just a little ahead of you if you have any questions just pm or email me I'll always answer :)
there will always be people here who are on your side, me being one of them. now since i presume you're just starting on your journey and since i'm just a little ahead of you if you have any questions just pm or email me I'll always answer :)
Title: Re: Well, I'm out.
Post by: Cindy on July 13, 2012, 03:48:31 AM
Post by: Cindy on July 13, 2012, 03:48:31 AM
Hi
From another Aussie.
Yes you are a guy and be proud of it. We need all the handsome men we can get.
You may find that your panic attacks drop as you accept yourself. Get to a counsellor for a talk, you may be able to hook up to one from your family Dr. Your Mum certainly sounds as if she will be there for you.
Oh and welcome, everyone is welcome here as long as you follow the rules in the announcement section.
Hugs
Cindy
From another Aussie.
Yes you are a guy and be proud of it. We need all the handsome men we can get.
You may find that your panic attacks drop as you accept yourself. Get to a counsellor for a talk, you may be able to hook up to one from your family Dr. Your Mum certainly sounds as if she will be there for you.
Oh and welcome, everyone is welcome here as long as you follow the rules in the announcement section.
Hugs
Cindy