Susan's Place Transgender Resources

This equal but opposite to the Who's been the hardest to come out to? (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,123197.0.html) thread.

Who's been the easiest to come out to? For me, it was my daughter, known here as Your Humble Savant. She seemed to accept my transition the most readily of just about anyone else I've come out to.

Well that would be the second person I came out too. I first came out to my big sister (not actual big sister but she has been one to me longer then I have been transitioning) I was nervous and it took me a few minutes to finally come out after asking if I could come over and tell her something. Almost immediately after that I came out to another of my best friends, her girlfriend. When she came into the apartment it just flowed out "I'm becoming a girl". I think her reaction will always be the most vivid in my mind, she yelled "You Bitch!" and ran over and gave me a huge hug. She didn't notice I was wearing heals, I wasn't dressed but big sis had me practicing in stilettos and she nearly knocked me on my butt. She has been massively supportive, I will always remember and be happy she is there for me.

For me it was my grandmother.

She turned 88 years last month but she is still mentally fit and very much up-to-date from watching TV. She is the best person I have.  :)

My little sister, but then she knew I've had issues with gender since we were very little. when I told her I was transitioning, she was like "Finally!!"  My dad was the second easiest, but then he knew i had issues too.

Yeah, for me it was my best friend. Perhaps because he was gay I felt some kind of kinship in talking about it. Still, I think he was unsure what it all amounted too...probably thought it just a phase...

  My new sister-in-law.  She did some work for her LGBT chapter.
  Joelene

Definately my ex gf who is now one of my greatest friends.  She was more shocked that I actually came to a decision than actually being trans because I've expressed to her in the past about my gender issues.  She has been one of my biggest supporters.  I actually asked her if she would accompany me when I get top surgery a few years down the line and she says if she can then she will if nothing pops up.  I wish she lived closer to me.

Everyone so far.

Once I got the confidence to be me. That was it. Hi I'm me.

Susans.org

In that case: USENET. RIP.

My cat.

My dad, 'cause she came out to me first (~2yrs previously)   :D

My friends! Each and every one of them that I actually have "in-person" contact with has been great to me! Came out last night to another friend and that person was actually excited for me, and gave me some tips for facial feminization without surgery and just by doing simple things such as eyebrows, make-up tricks. etc. 

Still working on it.

Believe it or not it's at work.  As daunting as I thought the whole thing would turn out to be, work has been the most supportive.  There was this one guy who told me that I'm in for a very difficult time, but after about a month or so he's been so comfortable being around me.  Recently he sent me a link to a radio podcast that made him think of my issues.  I couldn't ask for anything more, in terms of support.  Apart from them, my close friends - the two gems that I would always treasure for the rest of my life and some more :)

Although I'm not out to many people yet, enough know to where I can answer this question; the easiest to tell was a friend of mine who, upon saying that I needed to tell him something, the first thing he said to me was "wait, are you trying to come out to me as trans?!" At the time I don't think it was that obvious, so I thought that was pretty cool. The easiest to be out to is my girlfriend who has by far been the most helpful and supportive, beyond what I would ever expect of her. Everyone besides these two have given me a pretty rough time though, so far.

I would have to say one of my close female friends who is bisexual herself.  Hard to top that, but everyone has been pretty good.
Outed myself to several of the girls in my Gender Studies class, same as the start of last Semester.  We just kept talking about how all four of use love false eyelashes.  :laugh:
It is about the safest place to do it, and the people taking the class are the sort who will have no problem anyway. If they do they are going to fail the unit miserably.

Karen.

i would say people who already knew and just flat out asked me or told me. its odd but funny at the same time. one friend i asked out was like,"why are you asking me out? im pretty sure you dont even like girls. i think you are a girl or want to be one"

My 3 best guy friends, by far. They had no idea, but actually shrugged it off like it was a simple idea. However, for some strange reason, these same people who were nonchalant about my actual transition were all over me like teenage girls on Twilight when I told them I already decided on my new name. Weird...

PS--> I swear, when I saw "Grandmother", I was shocked. Glad to see not all seniors citizens are close-minded conservatives.
PPS--> Felix, I sympathize with you. I first came out to my hamster...

My mom. She said she didn't care one way or the other, which was a really comforting reaction to me.

Easily my mom. I knew from the start she would be completely supportive. The hardest was my girlfriend of 2 years. I was terrified she'd end up leaving me but I was very surprised when she said she's proud of me and she still wants to be with me.

A three way tie between my husband ("I already know you're a guy."), my childhood friend ("Wow, that makes sense. Cool. Hey, so I totally read this new fic, you gotta check it out...") and my grandmother ("Oh, okay. You make a terrible girl, always did. How are  your classes?"). That's almost exactly what all three said to me. If only the rest would go so smoothly. But the first person I ever told was my pet ferret, and my snake was the second.

I think probably three of my guy (all three straight cis guys thus far) friends. The first two were two of my best friends at a week-long music festival a few years ago where we were camped out and partying. We were drunk and I decided it was time to tell them that I'd come out as trans and they were both like "yeah, that's cool makes sense," and one of them mused about what it would be like to be a woman, lol. Then they spent the rest of the festival advertising me as their brother to everyone in the general vicinity. It was pretty awesome.

The other was an online friend I hadn't talked to in yyeearrss. I recently bumped into him online and told him what had been up. Because of some of his previous beliefs I thought he might freak a bit, but he was just like "oh, that's totally cool, no worries" and went on talking about totally unrelated politics.

Those were probably my best experiences.

That and one of my profs in uni a while back. When she first called my name for an assignment I got up to get it and she was like "oh, I thought that was a guy's name" and I slinked back to my seat kind of embarrassed and not wanting to say anything in front of the whole class. Then she was like "oh sorry, maybe you're a guy" and I just sat there embarrassed and trying to disappear into my seat some more. But afterwards she was quite cool about it and I didn't even have to come out to her. She just used male pronouns the rest of the semester and ended up being quite nice...that was pretty awesome ;D

Those are pretty awesome, Berserk!

It was easiest to tell a my female coworker.
Then it my female neighbor who has been around before Jillieann.
But the most surprising support was work. So many of the people have been encouraging me both male and female.
If fact some of the women have given me gifts of jewelry. Even a pair of diamond earrings. :)

The hardest was my family. There has been no encouragement there.
Most are unhappy and some will not even talk to me. My wife is still talking to me but the divorce action she started is almost final now. :(

Quote from: Jillieann Rose on August 26, 2012, 03:25:12 PM
But the most surprising support was work. So many of the people have been encouraging me both male and female.
If fact some of the women have given me gifts of jewelry. Even a pair of diamond earrings. :)

Shortly after I came out at work, the other Connie in the office gave me this brooch:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1088.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fi329%2Fcam94080%2F2011-12-16_brooch.jpg&hash=f22a4503c6dc0565a3fb16b6a3b7c3700e40263b)

It's pinned to a jacket that was a gift from another co-worker.

Quote from: Jillieann Rose on August 26, 2012, 03:25:12 PM
My wife is still talking to me but the divorce action she started is almost final now. :(

I can relate to this. My divorce became final in February and I'm still reeling from it.

Friends and peers. They have a more "modern" way of thinking so they embrace everything non-chalantly.

When we don't fulfil the gender expectations of many our families they are usually confused and often hurt.
My wife says that I have lied to her all of of our years of marriage.
My children don't know what to do with a dad who is a women nor how to tell their children that grandpa is  a women.
My two sisters only had 1 brother and he either crazy or I have destroyed him.

But many of our friends have no such attachments as to our gender just the souled within.
At least that is what I am experiencing.

I've found it easier to come out to two friends of mine, since they're in the LGBT community. The first person is like an older brother to me and has been helpful and the other is one of the first trans* friend I've had so that helped too.

So far (and it's only been a week so the circle of people who know is still pretty small) everyone has been great, the best has been my sister though.
We've always been really close and she was the first person who really engaged with me and asked me a lot of questions.  Somehow that really helped.  Her husband wins for funniest response so far, I was talking with my sis on the phone when he got home and the overheard conversation between them went like this,

Sister "Hi Hun, Thom says he's a girl now"
Brother in law "What?  Again?"

It actually speaks to the fact that I've been lucky and never had to really hide who I am from most of the people in my life.  I'd always been pretty feminine as a boy so I guess most people aren't to surprised.

Yesterday I came out (via email) to my martial arts instructor but I haven't heard back yet so I don't know if that wil be good or bad.  Fingers crossed!

Easiest people I cam out to were my 4 friends. Two I met online years ago and the other two I visit sometimes. They were very happy I'm out and are supportive of me as they have always been.

The whole father/mother conundrum is special , in terms of role you were a fatherly figure.  I believe a woman can definitely be a fatherly figure ^^ and vice versa.

I can't believe how easily my dad is taking the news. Today, he was teaching me how to drive and I suck (Just something about being in a two-ton killing machine that makes me nervous). He brought up my desire to transition and said, "Damn, woman, now I finally understand why you can't drive."  :laugh:

Quote from: DianaP on September 16, 2012, 02:39:41 PM
Damn, woman, now I finally understand why you can't drive."  :laugh:

Love that.  Honest humor is a great sign that someone is at least "trying" to be sensitive and understand.

So far I've told three of my closest friends and my wife.  The first friend I told was the best response.  "Oh, ok.  That's cool."

My other friends tried telling me that I'm just stuck in an overly masculine environment and it would probably pass.

My wife is still struggling with it (no divorce papers yet though) :-\

My mom because she had been a nurse and had treated an intersexed person in a Psyche ward many years ago.

My best friend. She was very very accepting over it.

The few people I told at my university so far were the easiest (in terms of my nerves as well). The student counsellor for science told me that I should be as upfront with my teachers when I needed help with classwork.

I'm still coming out to many ppl and I think that the easiest person to tell it is still to come, because every time I tell it to someone it gets easier and easier :-)



...and it's such a relief!

My friend, Lindsay. She said straight away that she will always be my friend, no matter what, has been asking me important and thoughtful questions, but emphasised that I can ask her to stop if it gets too much, and just generally being supportive and not being fazed.

Well I would like to say my mom, but I can't although she took it quite well, (still in process) she wasn't able to understand why I "made" these decisions. Actually the person who was had the best reception was a friend who currently lives in Petawawa (Northern Ontario ^.^), anyway. Yeah he was nice about it... Now what to do about school...

Friends definitely easiest.

My friends have definitely been the easiest. I knew they'd take this like this is and accept me, and through telling I've been much more comfortable around them.

But the most easiest time telling I had when I told two people who have transitioned, too. The support and understanding is on a different level, and they were one of the first I spoke to.