Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just a weird question for anyone really. How long were you on hormones before you started to get the weird looks or mistaken gender(usually in the good way)

Story: I had a customer come into my new place of work the other night. I had not seen her in about 5 months now. I went over to her and said "Hi
". She sat there and stared at me for about 45 seconds and then finally responded to knowing who I was but looking entirely different.

Then this morning. I had three customers in a row Ma'am me....Not saying it was bad at all, because that is what I would like. but I was surprised since I only have to shave once ever 6-7 days(Even then there is very little stubble).

To add to today. I got mistaken for one of the female employees in another department.. And then went to the gas station and got the weirdest look from some random guy in line...Looked at me atleast 3-4 times..

Needless to say it was a confident booster to me, but surprised me none the less..So I was just wondering other peoples timeline/stories  ;D

I'd say the effects of hrt became noticeable to other people at around 4-5 months. Intermittent passing and confused faces at about 8-9 months.

I'm sooooo jelly. Sometimes I wonder if people would be confused about my gender if I had longer hair. Right now I wouldn't be able to pass, but I wonder if I could pass if I changed a few things.

My only experience in this area has been a little sad...

I'll go into a store (like a pharmacy, where you have to say your name to get your stuff), and I'll say, "My name is Beth" or somesuch, and the clerk will say, "Here you are, sir"

:(

A couple times clerks have said "ma'am", but you can tell they're just being polite...I'm not passing to anyone.   ::)

I'm still rather early though, almost 5 months on HRT, voice hasn't improved yet, etc. I'm cool with how things are progressing, though.

fwiw, I'm in my 40's.

After 6 months I confussed people on a regular basics when dress in gender neutral clothing. If I wore feminine clothing I passed most of the time. If I wore male clothing I was accepted as a male.

After 14 months I confused people when I wore gender neutral or male clothing. If I wore feminine clothing I passed.

After 28 months they know I am a women. I can't pass as a male anymore. :)

I started hrt when I was 59 years young.
You should develop quicker if you are younger than me.
Oh my voice continues to improve as does my skin.
:)

I personally do not see myself as remotely passable personally...But each person is their own worst critic.

I do have about shoulder length hair and both ears pierced and I wear a very feminine looking bracelet at work and voice moves alot when I talk even in boy mode. My voice therapist said that I talk at a female level at parts of my speech.

I was just surprised because all three of the people were in line waiting to talk to me, so they all got a good chance to see me(Manager). I just wasn't expecting it.

I still get alot of sirs, but have noticed more ma'am as of lately...Just a funny observation I had today.

Quote from: Jillieann Rose on July 16, 2012, 09:36:23 PM
After 6 months I confussed people on a regular basics when dress in gender neutral clothing. If I wore feminine clothing I passed most of the time. If I wore male clothing I was accepted as a male.

After 14 months I confused people when I wore gender neutral or male clothing. If I wore feminine clothing I passed.

After 28 months they know I am a women. I can't pass as a male anymore. :)

I started hrt when I was 59 years young.
You should develop quicker if you are younger than me.
Oh my voice continues to improve as does my skin.
:)

I am 25, So hopefully time will be on my side. I just started voice therapy so I get to work on that one...My wife got a good laugh at my evaluation with the therapist..Skin is getting there but still male-ish in places..Arms though are silky soft  :D

Quote from: Jillieann Rose on July 16, 2012, 09:36:23 PM
After 6 months I confussed people on a regular basics when dress in gender neutral clothing. If I wore feminine clothing I passed most of the time. If I wore male clothing I was accepted as a male.

After 14 months I confused people when I wore gender neutral or male clothing. If I wore feminine clothing I passed.

After 28 months they know I am a women. I can't pass as a male anymore. :)

I started hrt when I was 59 years young.
You should develop quicker if you are younger than me.
Oh my voice continues to improve as does my skin.
:)

Now this gives me hope...I know that eventually I'll pass at least most of the time, and I'm willing to wait and let HRT, voice practice, etc do their thing. (Of course, what *else* would I do? De-transition is not an option!)

ETA: Oh yeah, gotta mention my skin...Very, very soft! There are times I'll spend an hour just caressing my arms, legs, and neck because it's sooo silky! Very relaxing... ;)

I was about 6 months into transition when I started getting those 'looks'.  My hair was longer, and I had my eyebrows done.  I was mostly part time and even at the store, I would get call 'Ma am' or 'Miss'.  Oh and that was in 2008.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 16, 2012, 09:41:06 PM
Now this gives me hope...I know that eventually I'll pass at least most of the time, and I'm willing to wait and let HRT, voice practice, etc do their thing. (Of course, what *else* would I do? De-transition is not an option!)

ETA: Oh yeah, gotta mention my skin...Very, very soft! There are times I'll spend an hour just caressing my arms, legs, and neck because it's sooo silky! Very relaxing... ;)

Sweet, I am not the only person to do this!!!! :angel:

I'm on low dose HRT and I know that certain changes are inevitable. About 14 months in i began to notice that people were giving me "that look", especially if I wore a baseball cap that hid my hair. Just last weekend i was asked to go along with a friend to an activity with a lot of guys there and quite a few people gave me "that look". I noticed some people stealing several glances at me.

Apparently i am beginning to send some confusing signals LOL....... but no "mams" yet.

A women I am a manager over said that she is jealousy of my soft skin, even on my arms and legs.
:D  Love it.
Just give the hormones a little time to work their magic.

Quote from: Jillieann Rose on July 16, 2012, 09:50:49 PM
A women I am a manager over said that she is jealousy of my soft skin, even on my arms and legs.
:D  Love it.
Just give the hormones a little time to work their magic.

But....But...I don't wanna :-\...I want it now >:-)

Oh hon, I so understand.  :(
It seemed like an eternity to me but it is so worth it.
I have never been happier in my entire life.
And SRS surgery is still in my future.

i started to get the weird looks about a month ago and i've been 3 months on hrt. im not gonna lie, i enjoy all the attention that i get, but there are some days in which u wake up and u dont even want a bird to look at u.

Around 6 - 7 months people started getting confused when looking at me. I was still living boy mode completely. Sometimes they'd call me maam, sometimes they'd ask for my name before gendering me.. one time I walked into a bank and while I was talking to another employee, a girl came up and said "Is this Chasity?" ... "No... it's the phone guy" ... and she got a look like she was going to hell or something lol. Lots of cute stories came from that time.

At about 8 months it started becoming really difficult to pass off as a guy if I had a fresh shave. I got a bunch of second gendering when people saw that I had facial hair when I was presenting as male.

Now, nearly 11 months in, with 3 months of laser behind me, I can't even see how I'd pass as a guy unless I really tried by using my male voice and letting my facial hair grow out for like 3 days. Not that I'd want to.

The only strange looks I get now are the ones of disbelief I get when someone slips or I tell them that I'm trans.

Quote from: Nicole1405 on July 17, 2012, 12:55:13 AM
but there are some days in which u wake up and u dont even want a bird to look at u.

Them damn birds just don't understand privacy.

I have been getting strange looks for about 6 months now, I tried to be very isolated for awhile because it was easier to figure myself out while being alone, so I set up my life to do that. The few people I was around did notice changes, but i was lucky to not have a regular job which would bring more looks. Honestly I dont mind, I do like the activist aspect of not totally passing, I just hate facial hair..

As far as getting confused looks, I hqve been getting them for about 2 weeks now.  I get them more and more all the time too, and I'm only 7 weeks on HRT.  Believe it or not, but its true and I'm 33.

People are starting to become confused about my gender, yes.  Do I have a chance of passing as a woman now though?  No way.

I'm about 3 months in and people are kinda staring at me already. My friends say when I present as male I look pathetic,  but when I present as female no one questions it they just accept me as female. I'm in the process of changing my name so sometimes I have to present as male. Like I was in the airport the other day and TSA took for ever looking at my ID then back at me Then back at the ID . This went on for several minutes. I was in male mode because my ID is still my old guy one. I just stood there looking at them like what the heck dude Yeah it's me. ;D

Quote from: Stephanie_b on July 19, 2012, 08:57:45 AM
Do I have a chance of passing as a woman now though?  No way.

Yes way!  Always believe in your goals and don't ever let the place you start dictate where you will finish.

Though for some people, they may think that my transition is complete, I feel that I can always do something a little more to further feminise myself.  It's a continuous process  :)

Four months

5 months HRT, and no such looks yet...[ Wayne's world (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wayne%27s_World_%28film%29) voice]But it will happen...OH YES it will happen...[ /Wayne]

 I have one of those androgynous faces. Depending on how I present myself, I can either pass as a high school boy or a young woman, and I don't get many strange looks in either "mode".

For me it was a couple years before I could pass. I must point out that I had to learn what my style was and how to do my make-up right, which is a really big part, and I had no practice prior to HRT. The BIGGEST part is in your self confidence though, which I had very little then. How you carry yourself goes a long way.

Snowboarderchic is right about confidence, and ya know what they say.  The greatest love of all is to love yourself!  To answer your question, it took maybe...5-6 months?  I was ECSTATIC the first time it happened.  I was 18 years old, dressed as a boy and at a jewelry counter with my mom and we talked to the lady.  Afterwards my mom was like "Uh, did you hear her?  She called you a girl."  Next it came with people telling me I'm in the wrong bathroom, being called ladies, etc etc.  At 16 months it was too much to handle.  Coming out of bathroms, if a guy was going in, he would pretty much ALWAYS do a heel-face turn.  It's sort of like a snowball effect, letting the estrogen and anti-androgen do their job while your hair grows longer and you being to dress a bit more androgynous. 

I started getting "the look" once my hair started getting longer, well over a year before hrt.  Laser was a big help and after a couple rounds with a completely clear face, and my generally 'softer' facial features, I was misgendered in boy mode a few times. 

Even though I've only been on hrt for about a month now, I'm getting more and more of those looks when in boy mode and have no trouble as myself.  The other bonus of laser is that I don't really need make-up anymore either, which helps with passing a lot imho.

It was quite few years back when my children were young. I was still married but getting grief from my soon-to-be ex because I had long hair and was wearing unisex clothing, tight jeans, pink flat shoes etc. I didn't think I looked remotely female, I wasn't even on hormones at that stage.

I went to pick up my 3-year-old daughter from nursery and when I got there, the door was answered by a new girl I hadn't seen before. I told I had come for my daughter Michelle. The girl, turned her head and called out: "Jean, Michelle's mummy's here. Jean looked towards me and then beckoned the girl over. I heard her say: "That's not Michelle's mummy...."

Jean came over and apologised to me, but I was overjoyed. I looked in the mirror when I got back home and knew I was doing the right thing.

My daughter is now in her 30s and I am married to a lovely man. My son and daughter invite us to visit and even my ex is a good friend. Life is good.

But I will always remember that moment. Sheer joy!

Caroline
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Quote from: CarolineM on July 24, 2012, 02:08:40 PM
My daughter is now in her 30s and I am married to a lovely man. My son and daughter invite us to visit and even my ex is a good friend. Life is good.

Thank you Caroline for sharing such a lovely post :)  It made me realise that I too can take control of my life.  Feeling a little meh today.  So very happy for you :)

Just a couple days ago I went to see a new restaurant that is opening in a building my friend owns. The guy who is opening the restaurant is an acquaintance at best who ive seen a handful of times in the last year, I dont particularly like him either. As soon as I got there he said, "you are a chameleon, you look a little bit different every time I see you." Honestly I dont want to be called a chameleon bc it usually means something bad, but I did like the fact that he noticed changes. Other times ive seen him he is always studying my face. Also some other people have gone as far as to closely and obviously inspect me and say"whatever youre doing lately you should keep doing bc you seem happy and look great" and these people arent aware of my transition. Also the same day i visited the restaurant a customer came in and kept trying to get looks at me to figure me out. I get that alot, maybe out of a corner of an eye a guy thinks you are a beautiful girl and then they realize you are trans, but just cant grasp it all. I like it , I dont mind being in the position where I am visibly trans, its good to challenge people's ideas of gender. Yay!

I am soooo J! while I was still on HRT last year for almost 6 months till Jan 2011, till I looked like a boy  >:( :embarrassed: ::)

When i got the LQQK i started to freak out. I never ever wanted cismen to chase me.. so i quickly figured out i didn't have to "HAVE THE LOOK" to be a woman / womyn    :-\   wheee that was a revelation i hadn't considered  :o

I left for vacation and the thread got huge!  :D

I actually went to my voice therapy today and it is at a local hospital where they have a specific program for Transgender patients. I went to ask a person(in this case a janitor) if he could point me in the direction of a bathroom. He looks to me and says " You are looking for a bathroom Ma'am. Me now giddy and happy at that try to move it more feminine and say thank you. He then responds with "Have a good day Ma'am"

Great day indeed!!

Also thank you everyone for your stories and posts! Constructive posts are nice  ;D

Oh I love that look from men.
It makes me feel attractive.
I snickered in church a few weeks ago when a man shook my hand. He said "Glad you came." But he was talking to my breasts.  :D
I almost said, "Do you like the padding?" >:-)

Quote from: glicious on July 24, 2012, 07:40:47 PM
Thank you Caroline for sharing such a lovely post :)  It made me realise that I too can take control of my life.  Feeling a little meh today.  So very happy for you :)

So pleased you liked it. So sorry to hear you were having a meh day. Me too, the last few days. Post FFS blues, I think. But, on the whole, my life has been good. By the way, I think you look stunning!

Caroline
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