Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: Sarah Anne on July 17, 2012, 09:42:13 AM Return to Full Version
Title: My Intro ^_^
Post by: Sarah Anne on July 17, 2012, 09:42:13 AM
Post by: Sarah Anne on July 17, 2012, 09:42:13 AM
Hiya all!!
I'm Sarah and here's my "about me" blurb...
Of course I am new to Susan's and after reading many of the great topics and posts here, I feel it is a safe and inviting place to be :)
I'm MTF and I'm only 2 weeks away from turning the big "40". Sadly I did not get a jump on my issue until just recently so I've got a lot of catching up to do! Like most people here, I've felt "misplaced" most of my life. Secret crossdressing was going on since age 10 and fantasies about being female have existed as far back as I can recall. I've never fit the male mold and to this day, I still don't. I have one failed marriage from my late 20s that was unrelated to my gender issues.
Over the past few years, I dated a girl and in May 2010, I decided to ask for her hand in marriage. The big problem was that my gender issues have been growing year by year and before I proposed, I "NEEDED" to tell her. She was to become the first person I had ever shared this information with. Several weeks before I planned to propose, I told her...this was the hardest conversation I had ever had with anyone! She wasn't surprised. In fact she took it all rather well. Then came the questions....days and weeks worth of questions. She wanted to understand everything about this, everything from how it feels to how it would affect our future. At the time I told her I had no idea what the future would hold, but there was a strong possibility this was going to get worse. Through it all, we got married May 2011!
Before the wedding, I began to let my hair grow out. This was a first for me and my work mates and family did NOT approve. Yet through all the bashing and snide remarks, I've continued to let it grow. I needed to do whatever I could to help myself feel more feminine. The next thing I started was shaping my brows (which were always huge caterpillars!) Slowly I began to thin and shape them so it wouldn't be noticeable all at once. I eventually hit a point where I started to hear comments. Next was the body hair and I started shaving everything. It was still winter so no one saw my legs but I knew summer was right around the corner. I began using the L'Oreal line of skin care products and moisturizers on my face. The snowball started rolling as I replaced many of my guy items for feminine ones. Bodywash, shampoos, deodorant etc... That summer my family noticed my soft smooth legs but only my sister commented about it. I kind of blew it off and that ended the conversation. Nothing more was said about it.
Fastforward to summer 2011 when I decided to start mixing some female attire into my public wardrobe. My sneakers were the first things I tested the waters with. Buying a pair of women's sneakers with some subtle color, it felt great just knowing I was wearing them! No one said anything. I started buying more pairs in more colors and I absolute loved it! Next I swapped out my socks and then underwear. Week by week, more women's socks and underwear piled my drawer while boxers and old socks went into the trash. As fall rolled around, I got a pair or two of women's jeans that didn't appear overly feminine and started wearing them to work and in public. They felt great and I was thrilled that I was doing it and still no one said anything. I got daring and bought a few more in different styles like flared leg and skinny. This quickly became my daily appearance.
In the fall, I went for my first laser hair removal on my face. Only my wife knew I was doing this and the day after the first treatment, my face was red and blotchy. I started wearing foundation and powder to help hide the redness and loved what it did to my appearance. This too became a daily ritual after that point because again, no one said anything about it. I realized my shirts were now the only thing on my body that wasn't female so I got a few basic v neck shirts in assorted colors and started mixing them in. My wife started making comments that I was no longer being discrete and I hadn't looked like a guy for several weeks. I didn't see it! It became almost like a sickness and I wanted more....In January I purchased a black and purple parka with matching gloves and scarf to replace my old winter coat. And STILL....NO ONE said anything! As far as I was concerned, my clothing was unisex and all that mattered was that I knew from head to toe, I was no longer wearing anything male and that made me happy. In Jan 2012, I went to my first gender therapy appointment.
Then that fateful OMG moment happened one night in February. We went to a restaurant that we frequented quite often and got seated at a table. The waitress came out and introduced herself and said "can I get you ladies started with something to drink?" My wife looked over at me with HUGE eyes and my skin turned white as a ghost! She asked for a diet coke and I looked at the waitress and whispered "the same". Off she went to the kitchen and my wife said "NOW DO YOU BELIEVE ME!!!??" I was scared to death! This was not what I ever anticipated "my first time out as a female" would be like. As excited as I was to hear those words, I wasn't ready for it! It actually ruined my dinner and I sat out in the car and cried afterwards. My wife thought I had a major accomplishment and offered me a high five. I was still in shock. We then went to a department store to return an item we bought awhile ago. As we walked through the store towards the service counter, a girl in the jewelry department said "do you laides need any help finding anything?" I almost lost it right there on the spot! I told my wife to go to the counter, I was going to find a full length mirror!
That was the night I realized it. I stood at the mirror and saw a woman looking back. I had nickel and dimed myself piece by piece, day by day, each time pushing the envelope a little further and a little harder, all the while caught up in the moment that for some reason, I NEVER looked at the whole picture! I'm just under 6 feet tall and weighed around 230 pounds so I never imagined I would be passable. A few days later, I shared the story with my therapist and he said "you've looked like a girl since you've been coming here!" Then WHY hasn't anyone said anything!?! It's when I realized, just because no one says anything, doesn't mean they can't see what's happening. My next therapy session in March, I went out as Sarah for the first time in public with full makeup and more feminine attire then I had ever worn outside my home. It was the scariest thing I had EVER done in my life! On my way home, I decided to stop at Wal-mart and see what it would be like to be a woman in a public setting. The experience was well beyond anything I could have hoped for or dreamt of. It was a pure day of magic....39 years in the making! It was an experience that became tradition.
Today I have gone part time as Sarah. Only my wife, 2 best friends and the medical community know that I am doing this. We sneak out on the weekends to shop and go places far from home in hopes of not running into someone I know. I have pulled back on looking like a girl when I'm in "guy mode" by wearing more guy attire, yet in the past couple of weeks, because of the changes in my hair, face, weight and legs (still pre-HRT btw), I'm having issues passing as a guy! I keep getting ma'amed even when I don't want to be and it's making me uncomfortable. Simply put, I've done too much, too fast and I'm not ready for it. My first endo apportionment is scheduled for October and in preparation, I've gotten my weight down to 206 from the 230 I started at. My family is NOT going to accept this and I'm rather certain, my wife's family won't either! My job is currently in jeopardy due to downsizing and I'm not sure what to do! I'm excited and scared to death at the same time...bitter sweet if you will. Becoming Sarah full time was always the dream yet now seeing it as a real possibility, is quite frightening. The small town we live in won't accept it either. It was another OMG moment when my wife and I have gone out to eat while I'm presenting as Sarah and you hear "would you ladies like separate checks?" My wife looked at me with sad eyes and said "we're no longer seen as husband and wife. We're two girlfriends out having lunch together. I don't want to lose that physical connection I had with my husband, but you are no longer him." That realization tears my heart out. Though through this all, our relationship is stronger than it's ever been. We simply need to work out how to live like this. She is indeed a very special person and we really are best friends and that's a great place to start!!
So to sum it all up, I'm staring down the barrel of HRT. I'm hiding Sarah from the world while wishing everyone just knew and that this was over with. If I have to find a new job, I wish I was Sarah full time so I could start a career as her. I have come way too far to abort this dream yet I feel uneasy when I'm addressed as ma'am when I'm not trying to be. My wife said "you just need to either do this, or stop it! Pick a road and take it!" The purgatory I'm in right now feels like a living hell. I've crossed the line and feel stuck between two genders. I don't know what's right and what's wrong. My therapist put it this way..."if this was a perfect world and no one would care what you did or what you looked like, what would you do?" To which I replied "I'd become Sarah." To which he replied "then that's your answer!" I just don't see it that way but I understand what he's telling me. He sent "the letter" to an endocrinologist so the next step is up to me. Oh why is this so hard!? Why does being happy have to come with such steep prices and risks!?!!?
I'm Sarah and here's my "about me" blurb...
Of course I am new to Susan's and after reading many of the great topics and posts here, I feel it is a safe and inviting place to be :)
I'm MTF and I'm only 2 weeks away from turning the big "40". Sadly I did not get a jump on my issue until just recently so I've got a lot of catching up to do! Like most people here, I've felt "misplaced" most of my life. Secret crossdressing was going on since age 10 and fantasies about being female have existed as far back as I can recall. I've never fit the male mold and to this day, I still don't. I have one failed marriage from my late 20s that was unrelated to my gender issues.
Over the past few years, I dated a girl and in May 2010, I decided to ask for her hand in marriage. The big problem was that my gender issues have been growing year by year and before I proposed, I "NEEDED" to tell her. She was to become the first person I had ever shared this information with. Several weeks before I planned to propose, I told her...this was the hardest conversation I had ever had with anyone! She wasn't surprised. In fact she took it all rather well. Then came the questions....days and weeks worth of questions. She wanted to understand everything about this, everything from how it feels to how it would affect our future. At the time I told her I had no idea what the future would hold, but there was a strong possibility this was going to get worse. Through it all, we got married May 2011!
Before the wedding, I began to let my hair grow out. This was a first for me and my work mates and family did NOT approve. Yet through all the bashing and snide remarks, I've continued to let it grow. I needed to do whatever I could to help myself feel more feminine. The next thing I started was shaping my brows (which were always huge caterpillars!) Slowly I began to thin and shape them so it wouldn't be noticeable all at once. I eventually hit a point where I started to hear comments. Next was the body hair and I started shaving everything. It was still winter so no one saw my legs but I knew summer was right around the corner. I began using the L'Oreal line of skin care products and moisturizers on my face. The snowball started rolling as I replaced many of my guy items for feminine ones. Bodywash, shampoos, deodorant etc... That summer my family noticed my soft smooth legs but only my sister commented about it. I kind of blew it off and that ended the conversation. Nothing more was said about it.
Fastforward to summer 2011 when I decided to start mixing some female attire into my public wardrobe. My sneakers were the first things I tested the waters with. Buying a pair of women's sneakers with some subtle color, it felt great just knowing I was wearing them! No one said anything. I started buying more pairs in more colors and I absolute loved it! Next I swapped out my socks and then underwear. Week by week, more women's socks and underwear piled my drawer while boxers and old socks went into the trash. As fall rolled around, I got a pair or two of women's jeans that didn't appear overly feminine and started wearing them to work and in public. They felt great and I was thrilled that I was doing it and still no one said anything. I got daring and bought a few more in different styles like flared leg and skinny. This quickly became my daily appearance.
In the fall, I went for my first laser hair removal on my face. Only my wife knew I was doing this and the day after the first treatment, my face was red and blotchy. I started wearing foundation and powder to help hide the redness and loved what it did to my appearance. This too became a daily ritual after that point because again, no one said anything about it. I realized my shirts were now the only thing on my body that wasn't female so I got a few basic v neck shirts in assorted colors and started mixing them in. My wife started making comments that I was no longer being discrete and I hadn't looked like a guy for several weeks. I didn't see it! It became almost like a sickness and I wanted more....In January I purchased a black and purple parka with matching gloves and scarf to replace my old winter coat. And STILL....NO ONE said anything! As far as I was concerned, my clothing was unisex and all that mattered was that I knew from head to toe, I was no longer wearing anything male and that made me happy. In Jan 2012, I went to my first gender therapy appointment.
Then that fateful OMG moment happened one night in February. We went to a restaurant that we frequented quite often and got seated at a table. The waitress came out and introduced herself and said "can I get you ladies started with something to drink?" My wife looked over at me with HUGE eyes and my skin turned white as a ghost! She asked for a diet coke and I looked at the waitress and whispered "the same". Off she went to the kitchen and my wife said "NOW DO YOU BELIEVE ME!!!??" I was scared to death! This was not what I ever anticipated "my first time out as a female" would be like. As excited as I was to hear those words, I wasn't ready for it! It actually ruined my dinner and I sat out in the car and cried afterwards. My wife thought I had a major accomplishment and offered me a high five. I was still in shock. We then went to a department store to return an item we bought awhile ago. As we walked through the store towards the service counter, a girl in the jewelry department said "do you laides need any help finding anything?" I almost lost it right there on the spot! I told my wife to go to the counter, I was going to find a full length mirror!
That was the night I realized it. I stood at the mirror and saw a woman looking back. I had nickel and dimed myself piece by piece, day by day, each time pushing the envelope a little further and a little harder, all the while caught up in the moment that for some reason, I NEVER looked at the whole picture! I'm just under 6 feet tall and weighed around 230 pounds so I never imagined I would be passable. A few days later, I shared the story with my therapist and he said "you've looked like a girl since you've been coming here!" Then WHY hasn't anyone said anything!?! It's when I realized, just because no one says anything, doesn't mean they can't see what's happening. My next therapy session in March, I went out as Sarah for the first time in public with full makeup and more feminine attire then I had ever worn outside my home. It was the scariest thing I had EVER done in my life! On my way home, I decided to stop at Wal-mart and see what it would be like to be a woman in a public setting. The experience was well beyond anything I could have hoped for or dreamt of. It was a pure day of magic....39 years in the making! It was an experience that became tradition.
Today I have gone part time as Sarah. Only my wife, 2 best friends and the medical community know that I am doing this. We sneak out on the weekends to shop and go places far from home in hopes of not running into someone I know. I have pulled back on looking like a girl when I'm in "guy mode" by wearing more guy attire, yet in the past couple of weeks, because of the changes in my hair, face, weight and legs (still pre-HRT btw), I'm having issues passing as a guy! I keep getting ma'amed even when I don't want to be and it's making me uncomfortable. Simply put, I've done too much, too fast and I'm not ready for it. My first endo apportionment is scheduled for October and in preparation, I've gotten my weight down to 206 from the 230 I started at. My family is NOT going to accept this and I'm rather certain, my wife's family won't either! My job is currently in jeopardy due to downsizing and I'm not sure what to do! I'm excited and scared to death at the same time...bitter sweet if you will. Becoming Sarah full time was always the dream yet now seeing it as a real possibility, is quite frightening. The small town we live in won't accept it either. It was another OMG moment when my wife and I have gone out to eat while I'm presenting as Sarah and you hear "would you ladies like separate checks?" My wife looked at me with sad eyes and said "we're no longer seen as husband and wife. We're two girlfriends out having lunch together. I don't want to lose that physical connection I had with my husband, but you are no longer him." That realization tears my heart out. Though through this all, our relationship is stronger than it's ever been. We simply need to work out how to live like this. She is indeed a very special person and we really are best friends and that's a great place to start!!
So to sum it all up, I'm staring down the barrel of HRT. I'm hiding Sarah from the world while wishing everyone just knew and that this was over with. If I have to find a new job, I wish I was Sarah full time so I could start a career as her. I have come way too far to abort this dream yet I feel uneasy when I'm addressed as ma'am when I'm not trying to be. My wife said "you just need to either do this, or stop it! Pick a road and take it!" The purgatory I'm in right now feels like a living hell. I've crossed the line and feel stuck between two genders. I don't know what's right and what's wrong. My therapist put it this way..."if this was a perfect world and no one would care what you did or what you looked like, what would you do?" To which I replied "I'd become Sarah." To which he replied "then that's your answer!" I just don't see it that way but I understand what he's telling me. He sent "the letter" to an endocrinologist so the next step is up to me. Oh why is this so hard!? Why does being happy have to come with such steep prices and risks!?!!?
Title: Re: My Intro ^_^
Post by: Constance on July 17, 2012, 10:03:46 AM
Post by: Constance on July 17, 2012, 10:03:46 AM
Welcome, Sarah.
I remember the "stealth" cross-dressing days. I started with women's underwear and socks, then moved on to jeans that were a bit baggy. I, too, had an OMG moment in a restaurant with my (then) wife while I was in what I thought was full guy mode. The manager was just walking around asking how thing were and when he got to our table, he addressed the two of us as "ladies."
As I recall, excited and frightened at the same time was pretty much how I felt at first, too.
For me, the happiness did indeed come with risks and costs. I'm divorced after 23 years of marriage, and the divorce was indeed due to my transition. Ultimately, only you can decided what's the right pace for you.
If you haven't already done so, please review the site rules and terms of service (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html).
Enjoy your stay!
I remember the "stealth" cross-dressing days. I started with women's underwear and socks, then moved on to jeans that were a bit baggy. I, too, had an OMG moment in a restaurant with my (then) wife while I was in what I thought was full guy mode. The manager was just walking around asking how thing were and when he got to our table, he addressed the two of us as "ladies."
As I recall, excited and frightened at the same time was pretty much how I felt at first, too.
For me, the happiness did indeed come with risks and costs. I'm divorced after 23 years of marriage, and the divorce was indeed due to my transition. Ultimately, only you can decided what's the right pace for you.
If you haven't already done so, please review the site rules and terms of service (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html).
Enjoy your stay!
Title: Re: My Intro ^_^
Post by: Catherine Sarah on July 17, 2012, 10:34:25 AM
Post by: Catherine Sarah on July 17, 2012, 10:34:25 AM
Hi Sarah,
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. I'm soooo proud of you. Under such adversity and with little support, you've certainly managed to move through your journey quite well.
You'll enjoy HRT, it does such wonders to not only your physical body, it what it does to your mind that's the exciting bit.
As you were relating your experiences, I was reminded of the years of compromise and negotiation I had with myself over the same issues, and still retain the necessary stealth mode, fear any untoward outcome.
It's a completely different story now. Living full time enables you to enter a new dimension, and I'm sure your "Sarah" will flourish and grow with profound admiration of herself and her achievements. Sounds to me like your dreams are coming true. Nothing unusual round here.
I look forward to hearing more about your adventures once on HRT, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine.
P.S. Keep that awesome wife of yours on side. She is and amazing woman. In fact she may be interested in the Significant Others section here.
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. I'm soooo proud of you. Under such adversity and with little support, you've certainly managed to move through your journey quite well.
You'll enjoy HRT, it does such wonders to not only your physical body, it what it does to your mind that's the exciting bit.
As you were relating your experiences, I was reminded of the years of compromise and negotiation I had with myself over the same issues, and still retain the necessary stealth mode, fear any untoward outcome.
It's a completely different story now. Living full time enables you to enter a new dimension, and I'm sure your "Sarah" will flourish and grow with profound admiration of herself and her achievements. Sounds to me like your dreams are coming true. Nothing unusual round here.
I look forward to hearing more about your adventures once on HRT, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine.
P.S. Keep that awesome wife of yours on side. She is and amazing woman. In fact she may be interested in the Significant Others section here.
Title: Re: My Intro ^_^
Post by: Devlyn on July 17, 2012, 12:15:34 PM
Post by: Devlyn on July 17, 2012, 12:15:34 PM
Hi Sarah, it's nice to meet you! Thanks for sharing with us, sharing is what keeps this place going. See you around, hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: My Intro ^_^
Post by: Sarah Anne on July 17, 2012, 01:40:40 PM
Post by: Sarah Anne on July 17, 2012, 01:40:40 PM
@ Connie Anne - Thanx for the welcome! I am indeed sorry to hear that you lost a 23 yr. relationship over this. Of course this is something that weighs heavily on my mind, constantly hoping that as things progress, she doesn't change her mind. I wouldn't blame her if she did because it is very hard on her too.
@ Catherine Sarah - Thanx for that Aussie welcome and for the accolades! I am really looking forward to HRT and can only hope that my age doesn't cause poor results. I know the ole "your milage may vary" and I hope that if I can at least pass now, it would only get better. The psychological aspects are another thing I am really hoping make me feel "correct". Only time will tell ;D
@ Devlyn Marie - Thanx as well for the welcome! It still feels strange to share this stuff when most of it has been bottled up for so many years, but I guess this is part of the process! <<Hugz>> back ^_^
@ Catherine Sarah - Thanx for that Aussie welcome and for the accolades! I am really looking forward to HRT and can only hope that my age doesn't cause poor results. I know the ole "your milage may vary" and I hope that if I can at least pass now, it would only get better. The psychological aspects are another thing I am really hoping make me feel "correct". Only time will tell ;D
@ Devlyn Marie - Thanx as well for the welcome! It still feels strange to share this stuff when most of it has been bottled up for so many years, but I guess this is part of the process! <<Hugz>> back ^_^
Title: Re: My Intro ^_^
Post by: Constance on July 17, 2012, 01:52:49 PM
Post by: Constance on July 17, 2012, 01:52:49 PM
Fortunately, our divorce was amiable and we're still friends. Transition does affect all relationships one keeps. It's just that we lose some relationships we want to keep. I guess that just comes with the territory.
Title: Re: My Intro ^_^
Post by: gennee on July 17, 2012, 08:09:52 PM
Post by: gennee on July 17, 2012, 08:09:52 PM
Welcome to the site, Sarah. Wanting to be who you really are is well worth the risk. Having the feelings you are experiencing is understandable. Thank you for sharing.
Title: Re: My Intro ^_^
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on July 17, 2012, 10:35:10 PM
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on July 17, 2012, 10:35:10 PM
Hi Sarah, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 7552 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS ) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-8.gif&hash=d9498942f8bbb4bf3ad29af75944ea5e1135c6fa)
As long as you and your wife realize that love transcends gender, you two will make it.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F3%2F32%2FPentacle_1.svg&hash=99e763d33bc5c4d79014cb34bf6acb3dfec8befb)
Welcome to our little family. Over 7552 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS ) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-8.gif&hash=d9498942f8bbb4bf3ad29af75944ea5e1135c6fa)
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As long as you and your wife realize that love transcends gender, you two will make it.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F3%2F32%2FPentacle_1.svg&hash=99e763d33bc5c4d79014cb34bf6acb3dfec8befb)
Title: Re: My Intro ^_^
Post by: Jamie D on July 18, 2012, 02:07:13 AM
Post by: Jamie D on July 18, 2012, 02:07:13 AM
Nice to meet you Sarah Anne, and welcome from SoCal.
Title: Re: My Intro ^_^
Post by: Cindy on July 18, 2012, 03:06:04 AM
Post by: Cindy on July 18, 2012, 03:06:04 AM
Hi Sarah Anne
From a chilly South Australia. Sounds as if you have lots of things under control.
I've found people to be very accepting. I'm out FT and today I was talking to a colleague who I hadn't told, but we have known each other for years. She turned to me and just said, 'your looking really good'
Glad you have found this fun place and family
Cindy
From a chilly South Australia. Sounds as if you have lots of things under control.
I've found people to be very accepting. I'm out FT and today I was talking to a colleague who I hadn't told, but we have known each other for years. She turned to me and just said, 'your looking really good'
Glad you have found this fun place and family
Cindy
Title: Re: My Intro ^_^
Post by: Joelene9 on July 18, 2012, 03:15:52 AM
Post by: Joelene9 on July 18, 2012, 03:15:52 AM
Sarah Anne,
Your story reflects on one of the scenarios I can imagine if I had dated and then marry. I really wanted to. I did not want to put a woman through this. This from the published stories from the 1970's and beyond of the transgender people who tried marriage to cure their GID. Back then a transsexual would have to divorce his or her spouse before the surgeons can do the GRS. Same sex marriages were illegal and was enforced with jail time. You do not want to be a "homo" in jail! Some women do accept their husband's transition to female and stay married to her. There are some of those here on Susan's.
Your wife's ultimatum is in the more often than not category and you must decide where your path is going. She has every right to feel what she is feeling. It was the post Vietnam era poor job prospects that was one of the deciding factors to postpone my transition back then. Yours is the 'Who's getting laid off next' bait. Too much of that these days.
I saw that firsthand at my old job. There were fat and lean times in those 20 years and the ones who went to a shrink, other than marriage counselor, were the ones laid off during the lean times. One memo from middle management said: "If you are burned-out and tired of your job, Let me know!"
Joelene
Your story reflects on one of the scenarios I can imagine if I had dated and then marry. I really wanted to. I did not want to put a woman through this. This from the published stories from the 1970's and beyond of the transgender people who tried marriage to cure their GID. Back then a transsexual would have to divorce his or her spouse before the surgeons can do the GRS. Same sex marriages were illegal and was enforced with jail time. You do not want to be a "homo" in jail! Some women do accept their husband's transition to female and stay married to her. There are some of those here on Susan's.
Your wife's ultimatum is in the more often than not category and you must decide where your path is going. She has every right to feel what she is feeling. It was the post Vietnam era poor job prospects that was one of the deciding factors to postpone my transition back then. Yours is the 'Who's getting laid off next' bait. Too much of that these days.
I saw that firsthand at my old job. There were fat and lean times in those 20 years and the ones who went to a shrink, other than marriage counselor, were the ones laid off during the lean times. One memo from middle management said: "If you are burned-out and tired of your job, Let me know!"
Joelene
Title: Re: My Intro ^_^
Post by: Sarah Anne on July 18, 2012, 07:46:54 AM
Post by: Sarah Anne on July 18, 2012, 07:46:54 AM
@ Gennee - Thanx for the welcome :)
@ Ms. Obrien - Thanx also for the welcome! I've never been a "sister" before and that kinda feels really awesome! I have one biological sister but as far as she knows, she has a brother :D
@ Cindy James - Thank you too for the kind welcome! I can only imagine how strange it is to tell someone this long after the fact that it happened. It seems like this is the kind of thing that once you tell one person (whom you don't trust), the entire world would hear about it in a matter of minutes! It's the type of thing that would make you call up your friends and say "OMG! Did you hear that blah blah is turning into blah blah...."
@ Joelene9 - Thanx for the info! I really didn't want to bring a spouse along with me, but back then, I had never imagined I would be where I am today. I did however find it important that she knew about the possibilities "before" we even got engaged. The worse thing I could think of at the time is I might want to dress at home and was hoping she would be comfortable with that. Transitioning was something I simply couldn't fathom but once I tasted the sweet fruit...well, you see what happened. I do not know the laws in the state of Pennsylvania as far as how our marriage is looked upon if I do this. I need to research that fully in order to understand the ramifications. I also have run my own little personal IT business on the side for over 20 years. It's not enough to live off of, but it provides a little extra spending money. I fear how my clients will react if this comes to be. Yet if I end up leaving the area to be in a more TG friendly environment, I will lose them anyway. There really is SO much to consider here and I do so fear the grass won't be any greener on the other side. And even if I decide the path is not meant for me, once the world knows this, they can't UNknow it! :-\
@ Ms. Obrien - Thanx also for the welcome! I've never been a "sister" before and that kinda feels really awesome! I have one biological sister but as far as she knows, she has a brother :D
@ Cindy James - Thank you too for the kind welcome! I can only imagine how strange it is to tell someone this long after the fact that it happened. It seems like this is the kind of thing that once you tell one person (whom you don't trust), the entire world would hear about it in a matter of minutes! It's the type of thing that would make you call up your friends and say "OMG! Did you hear that blah blah is turning into blah blah...."
@ Joelene9 - Thanx for the info! I really didn't want to bring a spouse along with me, but back then, I had never imagined I would be where I am today. I did however find it important that she knew about the possibilities "before" we even got engaged. The worse thing I could think of at the time is I might want to dress at home and was hoping she would be comfortable with that. Transitioning was something I simply couldn't fathom but once I tasted the sweet fruit...well, you see what happened. I do not know the laws in the state of Pennsylvania as far as how our marriage is looked upon if I do this. I need to research that fully in order to understand the ramifications. I also have run my own little personal IT business on the side for over 20 years. It's not enough to live off of, but it provides a little extra spending money. I fear how my clients will react if this comes to be. Yet if I end up leaving the area to be in a more TG friendly environment, I will lose them anyway. There really is SO much to consider here and I do so fear the grass won't be any greener on the other side. And even if I decide the path is not meant for me, once the world knows this, they can't UNknow it! :-\