Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: JinJan on July 17, 2012, 09:55:56 PM Return to Full Version
Title: I would have more 'extreme' look, if I weren't married...
Post by: JinJan on July 17, 2012, 09:55:56 PM
Post by: JinJan on July 17, 2012, 09:55:56 PM
Just a comment - I saw a picture, in a women's hairstyle magazine (waiting to get my hair cut), of a lady, with a crew cut - she had beautiful blonde hair - it looked as 'soft' as a crew cut, on a female, could look. Well, it reminded me - that, on more than one occasion, I have wanted to get a crew cut - but, then I thought about my hubby, and I nix the idea. I just know, that if I were unattached, I would dress more androgynously, and would get a crew cut - but, as long as I am married, I want to still look somewhat female, for my hubby. Any other married folk, ever think this way - what if?
And, a funny thing about my hairstylist - I like to have her use clippers, on the hair around my ears, and the hair at the back of my neck - basically, all the way around, just not on top - it feels a bit like a guy's haircut that way. Well, my hairstylist, is beginning to hesitate now, when I ask her to use the clippers. I think she is getting to a 'boundary', in her own mind, about how 'short' she can let herself agree to go, regarding my hair! I may have to find somebody else, if I ever DO go more extreme - LOL! JinJan.
And, a funny thing about my hairstylist - I like to have her use clippers, on the hair around my ears, and the hair at the back of my neck - basically, all the way around, just not on top - it feels a bit like a guy's haircut that way. Well, my hairstylist, is beginning to hesitate now, when I ask her to use the clippers. I think she is getting to a 'boundary', in her own mind, about how 'short' she can let herself agree to go, regarding my hair! I may have to find somebody else, if I ever DO go more extreme - LOL! JinJan.
Title: Re: I would have more 'extreme' look, if I weren't married...
Post by: Edge on July 18, 2012, 08:16:30 AM
Post by: Edge on July 18, 2012, 08:16:30 AM
Why not look how you want? Would your husband object?
Title: Re: I would have more 'extreme' look, if I weren't married...
Post by: JinJan on July 22, 2012, 12:27:33 PM
Post by: JinJan on July 22, 2012, 12:27:33 PM
Sorry for the late reply, Edge - my hubby, has been very supportive, so far, with my hair being as short as it is - even though he might not say it, I think it would be too, over the top, for him, if I got a crew cut. When one is married, there is a bit of compromise, that is needed - I understand what you mean - that I should be able to look, however I want, to look. And, I DO that already, with regard to my clothing, etc. It is just the haircut, which I have held off on, to a point. Thanks for replying. I will keep on looking for a 'way' to get that crew cut, though - I never give up! JinJan.
Title: Re: I would have more 'extreme' look, if I weren't married...
Post by: suzifrommd on July 22, 2012, 01:50:30 PM
Post by: suzifrommd on July 22, 2012, 01:50:30 PM
A question for you JinJan, if you cut your hair that way, what would you be going for? Do you want to pass as a man, or will it just be truer to how you feel inside?
I've been married almost 20 years. My wife would look good to me if she shaved off all her hair and insisted on wearing a fake beard. When I see her, I see the woman I love not the external trappings with which she chooses to present herself.
Might your husband feel the same way? I don't see in your post whether you asked him, but he might surprise you. Won't know unless you ask. I certainly want my wife to present in the way that makes her the most happy.
I've been married almost 20 years. My wife would look good to me if she shaved off all her hair and insisted on wearing a fake beard. When I see her, I see the woman I love not the external trappings with which she chooses to present herself.
Might your husband feel the same way? I don't see in your post whether you asked him, but he might surprise you. Won't know unless you ask. I certainly want my wife to present in the way that makes her the most happy.
Title: Re: I would have more 'extreme' look, if I weren't married...
Post by: Hikari on July 22, 2012, 06:14:39 PM
Post by: Hikari on July 22, 2012, 06:14:39 PM
This all does remind me, I mean I hated it when my wife shaved off all her hair but, at the samw point it is all external. I mean, looks are important to a certain extent what can I say, I like the femme look and like to be with people with the femme look but, from my point of view they should never be a dealbreaker. I still would love her even if she turned out to be a ftm, I would rage every time facial hair pricked me but i married a mind not a body.
Of course, I also have to consider that I am trans, and i have no right to ask her to be any more or less feminine in appearance lest she be able to do the same for me, and in my mind who i am is more important to me than our mairrage. These things undoubtedly effect my viewpoint.
Of course, I also have to consider that I am trans, and i have no right to ask her to be any more or less feminine in appearance lest she be able to do the same for me, and in my mind who i am is more important to me than our mairrage. These things undoubtedly effect my viewpoint.
Title: Re: I would have more 'extreme' look, if I weren't married...
Post by: ativan on July 22, 2012, 07:21:28 PM
Post by: ativan on July 22, 2012, 07:21:28 PM
Hair grows back. Get your husbands approval if need be. If he doesn't like it, it will grow back. I would think that he may be accommodating on that point. You may not like it either. What if he does and you find out you don't?
Show him some examples in pics you find. Hair styles just don't define a person that much, they are always in some sort of flux. Ask him if he would like to get a matching cut.
Ativan
Show him some examples in pics you find. Hair styles just don't define a person that much, they are always in some sort of flux. Ask him if he would like to get a matching cut.
Ativan