Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Ask Matt: Living as a Man Without Transitioning

July 19, 2012 by Matt Kailey

http://tranifesto.com/2012/07/19/ask-matt-living-as-a-man-without-transitioning/ (http://tranifesto.com/2012/07/19/ask-matt-living-as-a-man-without-transitioning/)

A reader writes: "I'm a cisgender woman and I write this from my partner's perspective, mainly because he asked me a question that I couldn't really answer. It was more for validation rather than a question.

"My partner is a man, and I see him as a man regardless of his body situation, and he says the same thing to himself. He always saw himself as a boy, or at least existed in some neutral zone as a child.

[...]

"He dresses in a masculine fashion and binds, and most of the time he's read as male until he speaks. He said perhaps down the line it will be a consideration, but he seems to have found comfort within himself, but feels isolated by a community of people who call him 'fake' or a 'cis woman trying to feel special' because he doesn't want to transition. He gets this both from cis people and others in the trans community. He doesn't feel that he's a woman regardless of his body.

"So, I ask, still from his perspective as someone who does not want to transition medically at this point in life, is he still valid as a man or at the very least a trans man? He knows he is and I know he is, but for others he's not seen that way, aside from our circle of friends."