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Title: I feel real for the first time
Post by: radiogra7 on July 20, 2012, 12:20:49 AM
Post by: radiogra7 on July 20, 2012, 12:20:49 AM
Hello to everyone here, I've finally came to terms with what I've felt pretty much all my life. It's been a tumultuous couple of months for me now, with incredible ups in realization and the struggle to really let myself accept it. I could write a list of every reason to try and prove it or something like that, or I can just say, in reality, I just AM a girl... with an unfortunately deep voice that I've always seen as my bane. I'm 20, but I even remember when I was around 8 or so even asking my parents, after hearing about the idea of a sex change, if I could get one, which they blew off as childish nonsense. I had a resolve that I couldn't watch Cinderella or play with my cousin Katie and her dolls anymore after that. Then I was practically forced to try out and inevitably hate most sports. So I repressed myself and, of course, it became a big driver of almost all my actions. Everything I did felt like it was too "girly" and I had to "man up." The problem is, I'm so bad at masculinity that I couldn't really figure out too well how to get rid of those things. It doesn't help when you have the type of family and masculine upbringing that deems almost every negative quality to being feminine (weak, whiny, what have you), and you have a couple of them openly stating that trans* people are completely insane. However, I am planning on moving to Ithaca, NY by the end of August with my very accepting and incredible father, and I'm thinking of coming out sometime in the near future. I'm still thinking of names, But I like Eva so far because it's kind of like Alex backwards.
;)
;)
Title: Re: I feel real for the first time
Post by: Jamie D on July 20, 2012, 12:42:07 AM
Post by: Jamie D on July 20, 2012, 12:42:07 AM
Hello there, and welcome form southern California.
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Title: Re: I feel real for the first time
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on July 20, 2012, 07:50:18 AM
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on July 20, 2012, 07:50:18 AM
Hi Radiogra, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 7579 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F3%2F32%2FPentacle_1.svg&hash=99e763d33bc5c4d79014cb34bf6acb3dfec8befb)
Welcome to our little family. Over 7579 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F3%2F32%2FPentacle_1.svg&hash=99e763d33bc5c4d79014cb34bf6acb3dfec8befb)
Title: Re: I feel real for the first time
Post by: Catherine Sarah on July 20, 2012, 09:14:42 AM
Post by: Catherine Sarah on July 20, 2012, 09:14:42 AM
Hi Eva,
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. You'll be pleased to know, we aren't anywhere near the attitude of your present family, so you can feel safe here to express whatever you need to express.
I like your the simplicity in how you accepted yourself when you said, "I just AM a girl..." That's just so beautiful. Because that's what you are. Nothing more, nothing less. I'm really pleased your father is so accepting as well. It's quite important to have such a close relative to be there for you. I hope it develops into a unique rewarding relationship.
Don't worry about the deep voice, that's just one of the many things that over time will change, and there is no particular order or timeframe for them to be addressed. You'll know when the time is.
Hope to hear more of your successes in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. You'll be pleased to know, we aren't anywhere near the attitude of your present family, so you can feel safe here to express whatever you need to express.
I like your the simplicity in how you accepted yourself when you said, "I just AM a girl..." That's just so beautiful. Because that's what you are. Nothing more, nothing less. I'm really pleased your father is so accepting as well. It's quite important to have such a close relative to be there for you. I hope it develops into a unique rewarding relationship.
Don't worry about the deep voice, that's just one of the many things that over time will change, and there is no particular order or timeframe for them to be addressed. You'll know when the time is.
Hope to hear more of your successes in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine
Title: Re: I feel real for the first time
Post by: Devlyn on July 22, 2012, 11:13:55 AM
Post by: Devlyn on July 22, 2012, 11:13:55 AM
Hi Radiogra, welcome to Susans! I hold things down here at the Boston end. See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn