Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey everyone. Obviously I am new here so hello. I didnt know where else to put this so Im sorry if this is the wrong place. So, I am a minor (not sayin my age tho) and am very confused. I was born female, but I feel as if I should be male. I already dress as a boy and have done so for a few years now, but have been doing it a whole lot more this year. When I was a toddler, Inever insisted that I was a boy, but kinda wanted to be one. I didnt really find out that hirls amd boys had different parts unril I was about 5. And as I entered kindergarten all my friends were boys. That continued on until about fifth grade, when my mom said I had to getore girl friends. I never really felt cpmfortable around girls, I always felt more comfortable around guys, and I have always been a tomboy and everyone knew and accepted that. Whenever I met other "tomboys" they were never anything lile me. Now that I'm in puberty, I find myself wanting to be a boy more and more and being uncomfortable with my body. Even when I was much smaller I thought I would grow up to be like my dad. I want tp be anle to learn to dhave feom my dad and go swimming without a shirt. Whenever we watch those puberty videos I feel as if tjos is wrong, like as if I should be watching the boys video. I also wanted to be able to pee standing, which I now know how to do, but befpre I did know, I wanted to leaen and tried making devices. I talked to my mpm about it a while ago, and she was understanding, but I dont think she gets qhat I was trying to say, so I want to talk to her again, but I am afraid she'll get mad. So, all in all, I just want to knpw what I am or what is wrong with me, I just really neex some advice. Sometimes I get called a boy and like it, but yet I know I am a girl and that will never happen. Thanks for reading, sorry for it neing so long.

Hi Pizzaparty,

A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. Congratulations for being so open and honest about your feelings. That's important.

As you are going through puberty, I really feel your Mum is in touch with you and won't get mad if you push her for better understanding or advice on your feelings. As a parent myself, I was critically aware of my children at this stage of their development, and made it known they would have lots of different feelings and emotions that was alright to talk about. Your Mum may even be able to arrange some professional gender therapy for you.

The way you approached your introduction, with it's frankness would be quite alright with your Mum as well. I think you have a strong alley with her.

Gender Identity Disorder (GID) is a well documented MEDICAL condition some people suffer from. It has varying degrees of severity and effects, which make everyone quite unique. Generally it is a result in the mix up of genetics, hormones, birthing environment and a few other contributing factors. So you can see it's a real mishmash of some serious human building blocks.

Keep in touch and let us know how you are coping, but in the meantime be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Another welcome here. I don't see anything "wrong" with you, although I know it's a really confusing place to be, and not a great time in life to feel like you are different.

You said your mom was understanding last time you mentioned it. So that's some solid information to go on, and gives some hope that she won't be mad when you bring the issue up again, even if she doesn't see things your way. If you can, don't go it alone. Ask if you can find a supportive therapist, or join a gay-straight alliance at school. And keep posting here.  :)

I don't know where you live, but in the US, there are more and more resources for parents whose kids are trans: groups, conferences, etc. Online, PFLAG has a trans network. They publish a booklet called "Our Trans Children," which is in its 6th edition and downloadable here: http://community.pflag.org/Document.Doc?id=189 (http://community.pflag.org/Document.Doc?id=189)

Hi Pizzaparty  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you , There are many great friends and good advice to be found here

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V M

Hi pizza
Your story sounds exactly like me a few months ago before I started transitioning I'm always here if you wanna talk or ask questions

Thanks everyone for being so nice in  your replies! @Catherine Sarah I've heard GID, I just couldn't tell how to diagnose it. I should look into that more. As for talking to my mom, I really just need to find a good time to talk to her, and how to start the conversation.
Also, I do live in the US for clarification. I've also taken a few gender identity tests, one of them was the SAGE test, and that one is pretty long, and the shorter ones said I was more masculine, but then the SAGE test said I was androgynous. I know it really matters what I think I am, but I really don't know what I am. Recently, my mom has also let me do more "boyish" things, like boardshorts and a swim shirt, and has been kind enough to let me not wear a dress at a special occasion I was at last month. When I first talked to her, she asked me if I wanted to talk to somebody, I'm not sure what she meant by somebody, so maybe next time we talk I can ask. Also, I've heard some people do this, but anyways, I started writing in a journal about 2 months ago, just to let my feelings out, and it has helped me a little. So, if any of you have any advice on how to start my conversation with my mom, I would really appreciate it. :) And any other advice on my original post is also appreciated! Thanks! :)

Your mom probably means a therapist.

It is a good idea to talk with a professional to help sort out what's going on in your head.  It is not easy to be a teen and transgendered.

Quote from: Justin 21 on July 25, 2012, 11:17:59 PM
Hi pizza
Your story sounds exactly like me a few months ago before I started transitioning I'm always here if you wanna talk or ask questions

Really? Its so nice to finally hear about somebody who has a similar story to mine, I felt like I was the only one, I've seen a few of videos about how they knew, and none really sounded like mine.
Also, is this just a phase or something? I didn't know if this was just going to be a temporary thing, like as if all adolescences would go through this or something. I thought maybe I am just over exaggerating about all of this stuff going on inside my head, thats why I am thinking this is a phase. Like, the more I think about it, the more I doubt myself.  1 more thing, from my story, what do you think I am really? I can't tell if I have GID, or I'm just androgynous. Any input on that? Thanks for the help. :) EDIT: Oh, and aslo, do you know where I can find posts on here (if any) on how the FtMs here knew that they were trans? I would like to read some of those. Thanks again!

Can we talk through pm its just easier 

^ Sure, but I'm not sure how to do that, lol. Maybe you can try to pm me, how to pm you, lol. :)  EDIT: Actually, it says I'm not allowed to send pms, maybe because I am new, is there some other way, maybe like the chat room?   ???

are you able to reply to the message i sent you?

Nope, there is no button, and I am not allowed to view your profile either, I also tried to email you through this site but it also said I am not allowed to do that. Man, when you are a newbie you cant do much. :/

can you veiw the message i sent

Yes, but cant reply.

ok i'll pm you my email

i replied to your email

The personal messaging utility does not turn on for a new member until after 15 posts.

Hi Pizzaparty,

You've answered your own question, about how to set up a conversation with your Mum.

Quote from: Pizzaparty78 on July 25, 2012, 11:30:02 PM
When I first talked to her, she asked me if I wanted to talk to somebody, I'm not sure what she meant by somebody, so maybe next time we talk I can ask.

Next time you've got your Mum alone, perhaps on the way to shopping or something like that, start your conversation with something like " Remember Mum, when we were last talking, you asked whether I'd like to talk to somebody? Well I've been thinking and Yes I do. I've been feeling "XXXXXXXXX" lately etc etc." There you go. Done and dusted.

You've got the confidence, you've got the loving attentive parent, you just need to go for it.

You can this.

Be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

P.S. Don't get too wound up in all those gender tests. I've yet to find one that's anywhere near accurate. You know yourself better than anyone else alive. Learn to trust your feelings.

Thanks so much everyone! You guys are a great group of people. Next time we are alone, I'll definitely try and talk to her, I just need to build up some courage and do it, Thanks for all your help! If you have any other advice, I'll be glad to hear it! Thanks  ;D

Hey there Pizzaparty78! I'm a minor FTM too and I just joined the other day. I don't know whether you are younger or older than me, due to you not being able to post your age, but I would be happy to talk to someone around my age.  :) I have been this way for quite some time and dress and act very boyish and i have the support of my parents. I to can't pm you either but if you ever come back on I'm sure we can find a way to talk.  :P

I think I'm generally helpful and easy to talk to!  ;D

Hey Pizzaparty, it's nice to meet you. I think your cousin Taconight might be a member here as well! Let's see, advice...Don't spit in the wind! My work here is finished. See you around, hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Aaron :D on July 30, 2012, 06:12:07 AM
Hey there Pizzaparty78! I'm a minor FTM too and I just joined the other day. I don't know whether you are younger or older than me, due to you not being able to post your age, but I would be happy to talk to someone around my age.  :) I have been this way for quite some time and dress and act very boyish and i have the support of my parents. I to can't pm you either but if you ever come back on I'm sure we can find a way to talk.  :P

I think I'm generally helpful and easy to talk to!  ;D

Awesome! Nice to meet you Aaron, it s nice to meet another person similar to me! I hope we can talk, we'll have to find a way to tho, because if we cant pm, idk how to communicate. But I hope we can at some point :) .
@Devyln, thanks for the advice,  I'll make not to. :)

 So, the other day, I talked to my family, my parents and my sister, and they were really accepting. I told them how I felt about myself, which was a little awkward with my dad, but they were really nice about it. They said they'll (more like my mom) will be more flexible with clothes once we go back to school shopping. They also just told me to not think about what I want to be, but the great things about myself. They also said that to just be myself and don't worry about what others may think (when school starts) and that I can have whatever type of friends I want guys or girls (because I told them I am not as comfortable around girls as I am as guys) as long as I am happy with who I am they are too, and that I can ask them for help whenever I feel sad and they are there for me. It was really nice, I started to talk with my sister but then my parents came in.
I didn't ask about therapy, but I want to tonight or tomorrow night. I just forgot about it when I was talking with them. Hey, also, sometimes I feel like I want to be a guy, but sometimes I'm content with being a girl, is that normal too? Maybe I'm just in denial or something. I've also been thinking maybe I'm just a crossdresser, but really, idk, either way I think I should see a professional to help me find out. Any other advice is helpful and appreciated.  :D

congrats on coming out to your pearents,  :)

Hey everyone. We just got done school shopping and it was great, nearly everything I got was guys clothes, and I love everything, unlike other years. But anyways, I still haven't asked for therapy, but I am still not sure of everthing, I am just nervous its just a phase. Recently I've been feeling down tho, I'm just really worried about starting my you know, that thing that happens once a month. I havent yet, but I really dont want to. Its really freaking me out, it just scares me thinking About it. Tjia isnt the only reason wjy I dont want to be a girl tjo. That is just one reason. Also, recently I have been feeling undecided, like I dont know what I want anymore. I have been questioning myself. Maybe Im just in denial or something. Can anyof you guys help me? Anything would be appreciated. :)

i'm here, we can talk  :)

Im a bit late but that would be great. :)