Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: melissa90299 on April 14, 2007, 04:25:16 PM Return to Full Version
Title: If there was ever a doubt that I am a woman...
Post by: melissa90299 on April 14, 2007, 04:25:16 PM
Post by: melissa90299 on April 14, 2007, 04:25:16 PM
...it has been stripped away by my experiences the last few weeks while in alcohol and drug recovery.
Today, after attending three women only recovery groups, with one mixed group sandwiched in, I mentioned to one of the other recovering women that I am finding more and more that I don't identify with struggles that men encounter in their recovery and that the challenges that women face are completely different than those faced by men. I also mentioned a comment that a guy made pertaining to me that seemed irrelevant, I re-iterated the feelings I was trying to convey. My friend said "they" meaning men in general don't even begin to understand ANY of that. I said, "Oh yeah" like oh stupid me, I should know that! Well, I have always KNOWN THAT but I never had this much opportunity for other women to confirm it.
As awful as it is to have wasted much of my life using drugs and alcohol, in a way, my addiction is turning into a blessing as I would have never experienced sharing in this sisterhood otherwise. And I find it amazing to find how the struggles of female addicts and alcoholics mirror our struggles as transwomen.
As I have surrendered my inabilty to deal with my addiction to my Higher Power and I am beginning to surrender my struggles to this Power as well. I am less and less worrying about what people think and just being proud of what I am, especially my spiritual self. I know now without any equivocation that I am a woman. I also know that I can't change what people think. All I can do is present myslef in the manner which pleases me and to hell with the rest!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Today, after attending three women only recovery groups, with one mixed group sandwiched in, I mentioned to one of the other recovering women that I am finding more and more that I don't identify with struggles that men encounter in their recovery and that the challenges that women face are completely different than those faced by men. I also mentioned a comment that a guy made pertaining to me that seemed irrelevant, I re-iterated the feelings I was trying to convey. My friend said "they" meaning men in general don't even begin to understand ANY of that. I said, "Oh yeah" like oh stupid me, I should know that! Well, I have always KNOWN THAT but I never had this much opportunity for other women to confirm it.
As awful as it is to have wasted much of my life using drugs and alcohol, in a way, my addiction is turning into a blessing as I would have never experienced sharing in this sisterhood otherwise. And I find it amazing to find how the struggles of female addicts and alcoholics mirror our struggles as transwomen.
As I have surrendered my inabilty to deal with my addiction to my Higher Power and I am beginning to surrender my struggles to this Power as well. I am less and less worrying about what people think and just being proud of what I am, especially my spiritual self. I know now without any equivocation that I am a woman. I also know that I can't change what people think. All I can do is present myslef in the manner which pleases me and to hell with the rest!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Title: Re: If there was ever a doubt that I am a woman...
Post by: gothique11 on April 15, 2007, 07:42:38 PM
Post by: gothique11 on April 15, 2007, 07:42:38 PM
**hugs** I'm glad that you've had such a good experience in your recovery, and that you've taken the steps to over come your addictions. You go girl! :)
Title: Re: If there was ever a doubt that I am a woman...
Post by: Suzy on April 15, 2007, 07:44:57 PM
Post by: Suzy on April 15, 2007, 07:44:57 PM
Congrats on your recovery. You have taken a bold step towards a better life. Let us know if we can help to support you.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Title: Re: If there was ever a doubt that I am a woman...
Post by: JaneX on April 15, 2007, 08:27:53 PM
Post by: JaneX on April 15, 2007, 08:27:53 PM
Hey Melissa
It is difficult to be strong in a world that conditions you to be weak. Keep your hands up and your chin tucked in and get back into the fight. It sounds like you have a plan, so work it.
JaneX
It is difficult to be strong in a world that conditions you to be weak. Keep your hands up and your chin tucked in and get back into the fight. It sounds like you have a plan, so work it.
JaneX
Title: Re: If there was ever a doubt that I am a woman...
Post by: Ms Bev on April 15, 2007, 09:13:11 PM
Post by: Ms Bev on April 15, 2007, 09:13:11 PM
Quote from: melissa90299 on April 14, 2007, 04:25:16 PM
...it has been stripped away by my experiences the last few weeks while in alcohol and drug recovery.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Melissa
I've heard the serenity prayer many times throughout my adult life.
Always be proud of who you are, a transwoman....a woman.
May God grant us all that serenity........
Amen
Bev
Title: Re: If there was ever a doubt that I am a woman...
Post by: melissa90299 on April 17, 2007, 07:18:28 AM
Post by: melissa90299 on April 17, 2007, 07:18:28 AM
Thanks for the support, tomorrow will be 30 days!
Title: Re: If there was ever a doubt that I am a woman...
Post by: Melissa on April 17, 2007, 08:29:08 AM
Post by: Melissa on April 17, 2007, 08:29:08 AM
Congratulations. I'm always proud of people who are able to help themselves. :)
Melissa
Melissa
Title: Re: If there was ever a doubt that I am a woman...
Post by: rhondabythebay on April 17, 2007, 01:11:12 PM
Post by: rhondabythebay on April 17, 2007, 01:11:12 PM
Nice going, as a friend of Bill myself, I know the path is not easy. I used the serenity prayer often in stressful situations, tho I'd have to say since the T levels have diminshed, so have the number of stressful situations. :)
Keep up the good work,
Rhonda
Keep up the good work,
Rhonda