Susan's Place Transgender Resources

As you guys know, I've been doubting my therapist. She said a lot of things I didn't agree with and what not. She forced me to make this time line. But I took your advice and was more assertive. I made clear what I wanted.

Well, I told her my plans and how I wanted things to go and how I figured a couple of things out. We talked and she said she sees that I am truly ready for the transition. And she didn't give me a T letter or anything but she didn't say no when I said I'd like to start T for next semester. So I'm hoping within the next few visits I can get my letter. I honestly felt on top of the world. It was a great feeling.

Here comes the not so sweet part. My hair looked like a mop so my grandmother took me to get a haircut. I always get it cut short but not a buzz cut or anything. I showed the lady who always cuts my hair the picture I ALWAYS show her. I guess I showed her too long and she really gave me an accurate cut because before I knew it, she was buzzing my head. The hair dresser is super sweet by the way. Well, my intentions were to get the same haircut I always get. But I'd always wanted a buzz type of cut so I was so happy. I wasn't complaining. And then my grandma saw as I was getting the haircut what was happening. I was the only one in the salon at the moment and she made a scene. "What did you do to your hair? Why did you do that?" I had all the hair stylists looking at me. I played it off and acted like nothing was wrong and I kept joking with the stylist. When I went to pay, my grandma gave me her credit card and just stormed off. I wanted to have lunch with her but she just went to the car and refused.

I told her that I'm transitioning so in retrospect, a haircut isn't that big of a deal. I love her so much but she was so angry with me. She said next time to get a haircut with my mom. She said she didn't expect this kind of change and that she needs time. She's known for like a year now that this is what I wanted. I don't even ask them to use correct pronouns. It just hurt a lot. It was humiliating. I'm not talking to her now. Not out of anger, just sad.

On the bright side-you got the haircut. And also she only said she needed time. Yes there was a bit of a scene and she stormed off but she hasn't walked away permanently she's just said she needs time. Let her have the time and hopefully she'll walk back towards you very soon

Hi Stewis,

Glad to hear about the better therapist appointment. That must feel like a relief, and as you said, " you were on top of the world'. As for your grandmother, give her some time. This is a hard adjustment. It is one thing to know intellectually about something, and quite another to have it right in front of you. Additionally, she is your grandmother = she was raised in a different generation, as flexible as she wants to be, it is hard to "unlearn" certain truths she was taught, in a time that was very different from ours.

It does not sound like anything irreparable happened. It was embarrassing, but that part is over - and it was more a reflection of her than you. Hang in there, this is a blip that will pass.

Quote from: henrytwob on August 21, 2012, 03:38:30 PM
Hi Stewis,

Glad to hear about the better therapist appointment. That must feel like a relief, and as you said, " you were on top of the world'. As for your grandmother, give her some time. This is a hard adjustment. It is one thing to know intellectually about something, and quite another to have it right in front of you. Additionally, she is your grandmother = she was raised in a different generation, as flexible as she wants to be, it is hard to "unlearn" certain truths she was taught, in a time that was very different from ours.

It does not sound like anything irreparable happened. It was embarrassing, but that part is over - and it was more a reflection of her than you. Hang in there, this is a blip that will pass.

Pretty much. She came to me crying and said that I will always be her baby and she loves me. We hugged and made up. So all is well again. It just hurt at the moment. Now it just hasn't hit me that I might actually be on T within the near future!!!!!

That's so cool Stewie.  I'm really pleased to hear about your therapist appointment and that you and your grandma are sorting it out.  I guess it can be comparatively easy to accept transition as an abstract idea, but when you actually see the physical changes that's a whole different thing.

Quote from: Stewie on August 21, 2012, 11:45:31 AM
Well, I told her my plans and how I wanted things to go and how I figured a couple of things out. We talked and she said she sees that I am truly ready for the transition. And she didn't give me a T letter or anything but she didn't say no when I said I'd like to start T for next semester. So I'm hoping within the next few visits I can get my letter. I honestly felt on top of the world. It was a great feeling.

Sounds promising--just stay on top of things, keep reiterating your expectations, and don't let her string you along. I'm glad that things seem to be going in a good direction. The stress can be a killer.

Congrats on the haircut!