Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Reagan on August 23, 2012, 07:58:47 PM Return to Full Version
Title: I've come out to Friends and Family now for the rest of y'all
Post by: Reagan on August 23, 2012, 07:58:47 PM
Post by: Reagan on August 23, 2012, 07:58:47 PM
So I'm 4 and a half months into HRT and my friends and most of my family knows. Pretty much everyone that means anything to me knows. This is where things get a little dicey...
I live in a suburban neighborhood and it's the kinda place where people tend to get into everyone's business. The thing is is that my daughter is middle school aged and I'm terrified that she will be teased about me. I'm so worried about being outed and her suffering because of me that it keeps me up at night. I need to learn how to deal with this and be strong for her. My time is becoming very limited. I'm getting to the point that presenting as a male is becoming a challenge. Everywhere I go outside of our town I go as female and pass very well. I mean I'm rarely if ever clocked. I just am afraid as soon as I go out here near my home like to the store I will see made by one of my daughters friends parents and it will cause a big deal for her.
Has anybody had to deal with anything like this?
I live in a suburban neighborhood and it's the kinda place where people tend to get into everyone's business. The thing is is that my daughter is middle school aged and I'm terrified that she will be teased about me. I'm so worried about being outed and her suffering because of me that it keeps me up at night. I need to learn how to deal with this and be strong for her. My time is becoming very limited. I'm getting to the point that presenting as a male is becoming a challenge. Everywhere I go outside of our town I go as female and pass very well. I mean I'm rarely if ever clocked. I just am afraid as soon as I go out here near my home like to the store I will see made by one of my daughters friends parents and it will cause a big deal for her.
Has anybody had to deal with anything like this?
Title: Re: I've come out to Friends and Family now for the rest of y'all
Post by: sandrauk on August 24, 2012, 05:19:03 AM
Post by: sandrauk on August 24, 2012, 05:19:03 AM
When I was teaching one of the kids' fathers got outed (he was also the chairman of the govenors) and it was in a small village (2000 people).
It caused quite a bit of discussion, at one stage I overheard it and one of the kids said "oh don't worry sir we're not talking about you" :-X
Mainly the sentiment was sympathy for the daughter (14) and how they would feel if it was their dad. Anyway it was soon yesterdays news. (BTW this was the eighties)
But TBH it is a big deal and one of the reasons I choose to stay stealth is that I know I couldn't handle it well. My daughter now 34 couldn't care less, but she was a nightmare as a teenager and it probably would have been a big deal to her, but I'm not sure in what way it would have affected her.
It caused quite a bit of discussion, at one stage I overheard it and one of the kids said "oh don't worry sir we're not talking about you" :-X
Mainly the sentiment was sympathy for the daughter (14) and how they would feel if it was their dad. Anyway it was soon yesterdays news. (BTW this was the eighties)
But TBH it is a big deal and one of the reasons I choose to stay stealth is that I know I couldn't handle it well. My daughter now 34 couldn't care less, but she was a nightmare as a teenager and it probably would have been a big deal to her, but I'm not sure in what way it would have affected her.
Title: Re: I've come out to Friends and Family now for the rest of y'all
Post by: Reagan on August 24, 2012, 01:59:52 PM
Post by: Reagan on August 24, 2012, 01:59:52 PM
Quote from: sandrauk on August 24, 2012, 05:19:03 AM
When I was teaching one of the kids' fathers got outed (he was also the chairman of the govenors) and it was in a small village (2000 people).
It caused quite a bit of discussion, at one stage I overheard it and one of the kids said "oh don't worry sir we're not talking about you" :-X
Mainly the sentiment was sympathy for the daughter (14) and how they would feel if it was their dad. Anyway it was soon yesterdays news. (BTW this was the eighties)
But TBH it is a big deal and one of the reasons I choose to stay stealth is that I know I couldn't handle it well. My daughter now 34 couldn't care less, but she was a nightmare as a teenager and it probably would have been a big deal to her, but I'm not sure in what way it would have affected her.
Thanks... I know this is gonna be strange, but thank god I have a well adjusted child. She is so totally awesome, one of my biggest advocates and I cherish her more than anything. We are considering moving into the city and starting fresh when we can sell our house. At least we will be in a new place and most importantly a more understanding place. Living in a more rural suburb area of Atlanta, Georgia is not my ideal location to transition. Plus my spouse works in Atl so this will be a great thing... less of a commute.