News and Events => Opinions & Editorials => Topic started by: Shana A on September 07, 2012, 10:14:47 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Why (and for Whom) I Am Defensive
Post by: Shana A on September 07, 2012, 10:14:47 AM
Post by: Shana A on September 07, 2012, 10:14:47 AM
Julie Ross
Blogger, George.Jessie.Love
Why (and for Whom) I Am Defensive
Posted: 09/06/2012 1:51 pm
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julie-ross/transgender-children_b_1857675.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julie-ross/transgender-children_b_1857675.html)
Over the past several months I have been venturesome (or perhaps stupid?) enough to publicly share my interpretation and personal feelings from my front row seat as the parent of a child who has identified as transgender. (You can find them here on HuffPost... they may be helpful in grasping the back story.) I have been equally supported and vilified by readers far and wide. I have been told that I am an "incredible parent" only to be corrected by a different reader that I am actually a horrible parent and that G-d does not make mistakes, just I do. Compliments for my honesty and style of writing are usurped by bashing for "rambling" and being a "horrible writer." I have been called "wonderful" and "self-centered" in the same thread written (sometimes viciously) from the comfort of computers around the world that I will neither find nor seek to find. And it all makes me wonder.
My child's decision (yes, it was her decision) to socially transition from male to female is not one which my family and I approached lightly or with nonchalance. It was years in the making and included working closely with therapists, teachers and school administrators. Once she was finally able to "share her secret" with us, my husband and I did what came naturally and seemed right; we would support her in any way she needed. That is what parents are supposed to do. The look of indisputable relief on her face spoke volumes as to just how tortured she had been. Who am I to deny another living person the opportunity to seek out a situation that feels more tenable just because it is going to be hard on me, her father, brother and extended family? And to those who argue that I am being bamboozled by a 10-year-old, perhaps you can explain why said child would opt to "bully" me (yes, that has been suggested, too) into submission over something so socially and emotionally difficult? Believe me; there are plenty of other things that the average kid will choose to badger their parents over that are a hell of a lot easier for everyone involved. All that said, I avow to be equally supportive should she decide at any point that living as a girl is not the solution to her fundamental discomfort; it could happen and it won't be easy, either.
Blogger, George.Jessie.Love
Why (and for Whom) I Am Defensive
Posted: 09/06/2012 1:51 pm
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julie-ross/transgender-children_b_1857675.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julie-ross/transgender-children_b_1857675.html)
Over the past several months I have been venturesome (or perhaps stupid?) enough to publicly share my interpretation and personal feelings from my front row seat as the parent of a child who has identified as transgender. (You can find them here on HuffPost... they may be helpful in grasping the back story.) I have been equally supported and vilified by readers far and wide. I have been told that I am an "incredible parent" only to be corrected by a different reader that I am actually a horrible parent and that G-d does not make mistakes, just I do. Compliments for my honesty and style of writing are usurped by bashing for "rambling" and being a "horrible writer." I have been called "wonderful" and "self-centered" in the same thread written (sometimes viciously) from the comfort of computers around the world that I will neither find nor seek to find. And it all makes me wonder.
My child's decision (yes, it was her decision) to socially transition from male to female is not one which my family and I approached lightly or with nonchalance. It was years in the making and included working closely with therapists, teachers and school administrators. Once she was finally able to "share her secret" with us, my husband and I did what came naturally and seemed right; we would support her in any way she needed. That is what parents are supposed to do. The look of indisputable relief on her face spoke volumes as to just how tortured she had been. Who am I to deny another living person the opportunity to seek out a situation that feels more tenable just because it is going to be hard on me, her father, brother and extended family? And to those who argue that I am being bamboozled by a 10-year-old, perhaps you can explain why said child would opt to "bully" me (yes, that has been suggested, too) into submission over something so socially and emotionally difficult? Believe me; there are plenty of other things that the average kid will choose to badger their parents over that are a hell of a lot easier for everyone involved. All that said, I avow to be equally supportive should she decide at any point that living as a girl is not the solution to her fundamental discomfort; it could happen and it won't be easy, either.