Community Conversation => Significant Others talk => Topic started by: Alainaluvsu on September 16, 2012, 07:08:53 PM Return to Full Version
Title: I have the BEST mother ... ever!
Post by: Alainaluvsu on September 16, 2012, 07:08:53 PM
Post by: Alainaluvsu on September 16, 2012, 07:08:53 PM
No offense to the mothers on this board... it is not directed at y'all believe me. I'm posting this as an example of what it is to be supportive of your child going through transition. Maybe those struggling can take notes ;)
I am 30 years old, an only child to my mother, and a MtF transsexual. When I was 15 I came out to my mother as "gay" and she flew off the handle. After a few months she got over it, however, and I kept caged up for years. Around February of this year, I came out as trans to her. She was not shocked, she was not taken back... she simply said "Give me time to figure out what this means on my own." I still continued to see her as a boy for a few months. Around April I went to her house dressed as a female for the first time ever. She didn't question me for a second and treated me just as normally and respectfully as the day before, a month before, a year before...
At first, she had issues with my name and the pronouns. She "he"'d me a few times in public and I did get a little upset (even though I know these are honest mistakes). However, she was trying her best to get that down. We even took a trip out of town in April, with me being in girl mode! She didn't come off as awkward, just had fun with her daughter as if nothing was out of the ordinary. There was absolutely no uncomfortable body language from her!
I lost my job in May, and went full time that day. Since I am going to school, it is very difficult to find a job that aligns to my schedule, so I'm living on unemployment (then and now). What does she do? She offered her support by paying for my name change and offering to pay for my hormones, doctors visits, AND lab tests. Now, she's a barber. She makes good money but is by no means rich. Just a supportive mother who cares for her only child.
Fast forward to now. My life savings are dwindling down and I express how scared I am because the bills are starting to overwhelm me. She GIVES me a decent amount of money to get me through until my student loans comes in, and tells me to not even worry about paying it back (I WILL pay her back, because she raised me the right way!!!). Not only that, but we are planning multiple road trips and she's offering to pay the whole way.
On top of all that (and best of all), a few days ago I suggested to her "Now that you have a daughter, we can do all the things that mothers and daughters do, like play with my hair!!" When she was here today, she said "Let's have a girls day! One day this week, we can get together and just have a day of nothing but shopping, catch a movie, and eat!" I am more excited than anything about it. This touched me (and helps me) more than any money she could give me!
Again, I'm 30. 29 years she's known me as her son, but it's only taken her about 1/3 of a year to realize she has a daughter, and she is seriously treating me like one. Her pronouns are getting much better than anybody else I knew pre transition, and I can't believe how fast she went from my old name to my new name. Parents, I think, can appreciate how difficult that may be.
I am truly blessed to have her. Transition is hard, but people like her help a girl like me so much more than I could ever ask for.
I wouldn't be surprised if she is on these boards reading, learning about what we face. If you are, thank you, mom. I love you more than I love anybody on this world, and I mean that with all my heart :)
I am 30 years old, an only child to my mother, and a MtF transsexual. When I was 15 I came out to my mother as "gay" and she flew off the handle. After a few months she got over it, however, and I kept caged up for years. Around February of this year, I came out as trans to her. She was not shocked, she was not taken back... she simply said "Give me time to figure out what this means on my own." I still continued to see her as a boy for a few months. Around April I went to her house dressed as a female for the first time ever. She didn't question me for a second and treated me just as normally and respectfully as the day before, a month before, a year before...
At first, she had issues with my name and the pronouns. She "he"'d me a few times in public and I did get a little upset (even though I know these are honest mistakes). However, she was trying her best to get that down. We even took a trip out of town in April, with me being in girl mode! She didn't come off as awkward, just had fun with her daughter as if nothing was out of the ordinary. There was absolutely no uncomfortable body language from her!
I lost my job in May, and went full time that day. Since I am going to school, it is very difficult to find a job that aligns to my schedule, so I'm living on unemployment (then and now). What does she do? She offered her support by paying for my name change and offering to pay for my hormones, doctors visits, AND lab tests. Now, she's a barber. She makes good money but is by no means rich. Just a supportive mother who cares for her only child.
Fast forward to now. My life savings are dwindling down and I express how scared I am because the bills are starting to overwhelm me. She GIVES me a decent amount of money to get me through until my student loans comes in, and tells me to not even worry about paying it back (I WILL pay her back, because she raised me the right way!!!). Not only that, but we are planning multiple road trips and she's offering to pay the whole way.
On top of all that (and best of all), a few days ago I suggested to her "Now that you have a daughter, we can do all the things that mothers and daughters do, like play with my hair!!" When she was here today, she said "Let's have a girls day! One day this week, we can get together and just have a day of nothing but shopping, catch a movie, and eat!" I am more excited than anything about it. This touched me (and helps me) more than any money she could give me!
Again, I'm 30. 29 years she's known me as her son, but it's only taken her about 1/3 of a year to realize she has a daughter, and she is seriously treating me like one. Her pronouns are getting much better than anybody else I knew pre transition, and I can't believe how fast she went from my old name to my new name. Parents, I think, can appreciate how difficult that may be.
I am truly blessed to have her. Transition is hard, but people like her help a girl like me so much more than I could ever ask for.
I wouldn't be surprised if she is on these boards reading, learning about what we face. If you are, thank you, mom. I love you more than I love anybody on this world, and I mean that with all my heart :)
Title: Re: I have the BEST mother ... ever!
Post by: Devlyn on September 16, 2012, 07:20:32 PM
Post by: Devlyn on September 16, 2012, 07:20:32 PM
Yay! Let's hear it for Moms everywhere! Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: I have the BEST mother ... ever!
Post by: Shantel on September 16, 2012, 08:14:30 PM
Post by: Shantel on September 16, 2012, 08:14:30 PM
Alaina,
What a wonderful loving mother! I love her too! :eusa_clap: :icon_flower:
What a wonderful loving mother! I love her too! :eusa_clap: :icon_flower:
Title: Re: I have the BEST mother ... ever!
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on September 16, 2012, 08:52:29 PM
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on September 16, 2012, 08:52:29 PM
Alaina, you are truly bless with such a Mom.
And if she is reading, Hi Alaina's Mom (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
And if she is reading, Hi Alaina's Mom (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Title: I have the BEST mother ... ever!
Post by: ashley_thomas on September 16, 2012, 09:14:24 PM
Post by: ashley_thomas on September 16, 2012, 09:14:24 PM
Sounds fantastic, good for you!!
Title: Re: I have the BEST mother ... ever!
Post by: Silas. on October 18, 2012, 12:42:56 AM
Post by: Silas. on October 18, 2012, 12:42:56 AM
Dang you are lucky, and yes you are highly blessed. Loved reading your story, I hope to be as lucky one day maybe.
Title: Re: I have the BEST mother ... ever!
Post by: kelly_aus on October 18, 2012, 01:29:55 AM
Post by: kelly_aus on October 18, 2012, 01:29:55 AM
Sounds much like my mum. :)
Isn't it great to have a mum that is so supportive and accepting?
Isn't it great to have a mum that is so supportive and accepting?
Title: Re: I have the BEST mother ... ever!
Post by: Keaira on October 18, 2012, 03:57:04 AM
Post by: Keaira on October 18, 2012, 03:57:04 AM
A supportive mother does mean the world. I have only seen my mother once in 12 years. She lives in Germany and I live in Indiana. So seeing each other can be quite costly. more so now than 12 years ago. But she is really supportive and has been since she confronted me when I came home from work, forcing me to come out to her. And I miss her dearly. She hasn't seen her Daughter. the last time she was here, I was her son.
So when I meet a supportive parent I try to thank them for making the world a better place. Because I know that there are so many more of us who aren't so lucky.
So when I meet a supportive parent I try to thank them for making the world a better place. Because I know that there are so many more of us who aren't so lucky.
Title: Re: I have the BEST mother ... ever!
Post by: justmeinoz on October 18, 2012, 09:21:46 AM
Post by: justmeinoz on October 18, 2012, 09:21:46 AM
Fantastic Mum! She sounds amazing, have a great girls day out.
My own is in her late 80's and still having trouble adjusting to the changes, which is understandable after nearly 60 years of having a son.
Give her a hug from me as a parent myself.
Karen.
My own is in her late 80's and still having trouble adjusting to the changes, which is understandable after nearly 60 years of having a son.
Give her a hug from me as a parent myself.
Karen.
Title: Re: I have the BEST mother ... ever!
Post by: eli77 on October 18, 2012, 09:30:42 AM
Post by: eli77 on October 18, 2012, 09:30:42 AM
She sounds awesome, Alaina. I'm also lucky enough to have total support from my mum. It's a big part of why I'm still breathing.