Susan's Place Transgender Resources

We all know a guy or a few that have known us in the past or know that we're currently trans.  Occasionally, for some reason, a guy (who knows you're trans) isn't able to control himself and will talk about how he finds you sexy/attractive/some other creepy word.  Then he'll say something like "That's a compliment.  Aren't you flattered?  I'm a guy and I find you attractive even though you're a guy/trans" or something equally insensitive.  This has happened to me several times with guys who know I'm trans.  They compliment me in some way that they'd never come on to a woman who wasn't trans with, and then act like I should be flattered or complimented.

Have you dealt with anything like this, and do you find it disgusting too?

Hope this is the right section for this! 

I ->-bleeped-<-ing hate that too. I just wished they all treat me like a 100% born woman. I got things like 'You're so beautiful but why the ->-bleeped-<- were you not born a woman' or 'Hey you're more feminine and beautiful than women' (on a tone as if am not a woman, if u see what i mean) DUH!

Probably best you find new friends to be honest with ya.  They don't know the wrong they are doing, and probably do think its a compliment but if they don't get it than there is no sense.

I don't expect guys to say anything... so I just take it as a compliment and nothing else. Sometimes u just have to see the good in the meaning and not the outcome.

I'll be flat out honest about this one too - every time I tell a guy I met through a dating site... when they get mad and tell me "YOU SHOULD TELL PEOPLE THAT FIRST!!" I take that as a compliment too. They genuinely thought I was pretty before I told them, and that's good enough for me :)

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on September 23, 2012, 05:00:34 PM
I don't expect guys to say anything... so I just take it as a compliment and nothing else. Sometimes u just have to see the good in the meaning and not the outcome.

I'll be flat out honest about this one too - every time I tell a guy I met through a dating site... when they get mad and tell me "YOU SHOULD TELL PEOPLE THAT FIRST!!" I take that as a compliment too. They genuinely thought I was pretty before I told them, and that's good enough for me :)

Pretty much this. I would say they could have easily chosen to be a ass and straight up be nasty however what I have learned and that is, some people try, their words aren't in the right place but their heart is. Sometimes it's best to help them see instead of react how we want to. My brother will say dude you have really changed, you will always be my sister. Yeah he refers to me as he infront of his fiance and I could get mad he called me dude but I know he is really trying and I will take that over anything else.

Besides dude for him is everyone :P And he is helping his fiance understand as well, they want me to be there for his kid.