Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Ask Matt: Coming Out to Dates After Years on Hormones

October 1, 2012 by Matt Kailey

http://tranifesto.com/2012/10/01/ask-matt-coming-out-to-dates-after-years-on-hormones/ (http://tranifesto.com/2012/10/01/ask-matt-coming-out-to-dates-after-years-on-hormones/)

A reader writes: "I am a guy who is stealth and have been 8.5 years on T, and it's now even harder to tell a woman about me. Any advice? I am post top and hysto and saving up for phalloplasty."

I think that, as the years go on, it often becomes increasingly difficult to come out to people. At first, when we are starting transition, we sometimes have to come out, thanks to that grey area that we move through when people we meet (and want to date) aren't sure of our gender or who, exactly, is asking them out.

In the beginning, it can even be exciting to come out. We are experiencing something incredible, and in many cases, we want people to know. But after a while, when things settle down and we have moved into a place that is comfortable for us, we just want to get on with life. Every time we have to come out, we think, "What? That again? When is this going to be over?"