Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Ms Bev on April 25, 2007, 11:53:00 PM Return to Full Version
Title: scared, 50-something, going out on a highwire
Post by: Ms Bev on April 25, 2007, 11:53:00 PM
Post by: Ms Bev on April 25, 2007, 11:53:00 PM
I am currently looking for a new position in another company. It's not that I'll do anything short of coming out at my current job, it's because the business is not paying what it used to in commissions, and I need more money to fit my needs.
Now, I'm in this woman's body, a body and mind I needed desperately, and am now facing the somewhat scary prospect of having long conversations with prospective employers in female mode.
My wife has been very supportive all along. In fact, we have never been closer, or happier.
She agrees with me that I should find suitable business clothes in the women's department before I go interviewing again, so I can present myself to a new employer as myself, Beverly. She even chastised me because I told her about a nice pair of women's dress shoes in my size, but I didn't buy them. We were on a day trip to the ocean today, and naturally stopped at the nearby outlets to shop. I wanted her opinion before spending that much.
Just a few months ago, she would have shrieked if I had suggested such a thing. But now she sees how people respond to me in public when we travel, or shop, or go out almost anywhere, and I think she knows it's just wrong for me to pretend any more.
The prospect of doing this really gives me sweaty palms. I did my transition without a net. No doctor, no therapist. I don't recommend this to anyone, no matter their level of knowledge. I do have a doctor now, and a therapist (first session is scheduled), both specialize in GID and lgbt medicine.
What I lack, is the rlt. All of my real life experience is in interacting with people outside the workplace, part time. Not quite the same as lots of experience.
So, now I'm kind of scared, 50-something, going out on a highwire on my own. Long way down.......
Any ideas?
Bev
Title: Re: scared, 50-something, going out on a highwire
Post by: cindianna_jones on April 26, 2007, 12:04:56 AM
Post by: cindianna_jones on April 26, 2007, 12:04:56 AM
There's only one way to start an RLT. And that is to do it!
I would suggest that you work with your currrent employer for a while en femme if you can. I tell ya, it's going to be really tough if you're not comfortable with yourself if you go out interviewing with no real life experience to draw from. They'll see it in a minute.
However..... if you can't do that, just get yourself out as much as possible and do those interviews. Practice interviews with someone you know. Line up some good references. Cover your bases on your resume, like getting your records changed at the university you attended.... you know that sort of stuff.
Yes, it is scary doll, but somehow we manage through all of it.
Cindi
I would suggest that you work with your currrent employer for a while en femme if you can. I tell ya, it's going to be really tough if you're not comfortable with yourself if you go out interviewing with no real life experience to draw from. They'll see it in a minute.
However..... if you can't do that, just get yourself out as much as possible and do those interviews. Practice interviews with someone you know. Line up some good references. Cover your bases on your resume, like getting your records changed at the university you attended.... you know that sort of stuff.
Yes, it is scary doll, but somehow we manage through all of it.
Cindi