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Title: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: J.T. on April 26, 2007, 12:50:13 AM
Hey everyone.  Gah, where to start.  I have no idea, because honestly I'm not exactly sure what is going on in my head or who I am.  I DO know that I feel as if my body and soul are not connected, that my "aura" is a bit fuzzy.  You know how the picture on a tv can get offset a bit and you get a "ghost" image?  That is what I feel like 98% of the time.  Not sure if I am explaining it properly.

I have never felt comfortable in my female body, hate my boobs wish i could chop them off and that my hips would go with 'em.  Dresses, pink, motherhood... society says that is what my sex is supposed to embrace.  I can't identify with that in the least bit.

Anyway, i have been searching the last two weeks for an online community of people who have had similar experiences in their lives.  I have never felt that I belong, anywhere...  my therapist I just recently told (after two years of going) of my gender issues.  And now, all of a sudden I realize I can't bury this anymore, that try as I might it won't go away.

Sorry if that was disjointed, my brain seems to be jumping around a lot these days.  I look forward to getting to know everyone better.  Thanks for welcoming me.

Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: cindianna_jones on April 26, 2007, 01:05:23 AM
Welcome HT!  Many of us know EXACTLY what you feel. We are going through or have gone through all of it.  Know that you are not alone.

Cindi
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: J.T. on April 26, 2007, 01:38:51 AM
oh yeah, I'm not crazy??  You have no idea how much that means to me.
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: Dennis on April 26, 2007, 01:46:30 AM
Heh, you should see my before and after pictures. My after is my icon. My before is, born female, tried my damndest to live up to it, even as a lesbian, and I still couldn't because it wasn't me.

You're not crazy, you're just different. And there ain't nothin to be ashamed about for different.

Once I let go of that, I became the happiest dude on earth because not many other guys can even imagine just being grateful to be a guy. Even if transition is not your thing, finding  yourself is the important part.

Dennis
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: togetherwecan on April 26, 2007, 08:26:57 AM
Welcom to Susan's HT!!!
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: Lucy on April 26, 2007, 10:04:12 AM
Your welcome to ask any questions and join the fun HT but I would say learn the rules of the site and have a good look around and get fermillier with it. There is plenty of good information for you to use so sit back and relax. Were all friends here

Lucy
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: Donna on April 26, 2007, 01:13:04 PM
Hi, i'll trade you bodies in a heartbeat. Welcome
Donna
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: J.T. on April 26, 2007, 06:55:44 PM
thanks for the welcome

I have a quick question and I didn't see the answer anywhere, although i'm sure i could have looked closer.

I often call everyone I know "dude" and say "guys" for a group of people.  Wanted to know if that was inappropriate here or what, i don't want to offend anyone.
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: Dennis on April 26, 2007, 07:26:07 PM
Good question. I'll leave it for the women. It doesn't bother me of course ;)

Dennis
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: Kate on April 26, 2007, 07:33:48 PM
Quote from: ht on April 26, 2007, 06:55:44 PM
I often call everyone I know "dude" and say "guys" for a group of people.  Wanted to know if that was inappropriate here or what, i don't want to offend anyone.

Personally, I don't mind hearing "you guys," as it's just a genderless expression to me. "Dude" I don't much care for though... not sure why. I get that it's meant generically though - I have a guy at work who calls *everyone* "Dude!" Still, I cringe when I hear it.

I can only speak for me though, I dunno about everyone else? I appreciate your asking though!

~Kate~
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: HelenW on April 26, 2007, 09:48:04 PM
Hiya, ht, welcome!

Happy to make your acquaintance!

Quote from: ht on April 26, 2007, 12:50:13 AM
... And now, all of a sudden I realize I can't bury this anymore, that try as I might it won't go away.

hehe - Welcome to the club.  I hope you'll find what you need here the way I did.  I'll look forward to reading more from you in the future.

again, WELCOME ! ! :)
helen
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: J.T. on April 27, 2007, 11:58:38 AM
thanks


uh, i'm a bit lost around the boards right now.  Not sure where to start, but I'll get there.
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: Jillieann Rose on April 28, 2007, 12:21:11 AM
Hi ht!
Just wanted to add my welcome to all the rest.
Do take your time exploring the site because there is so much here.
And do share I is a good way to clear your head.
:)
Jillieann
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: rhonda13000 on April 28, 2007, 03:24:07 AM
Hey everyone.  Gah, where to start.  I have no idea, because honestly I'm not exactly sure what is going on in my head or who I am.  I DO know that I feel as if my body and soul are not connected, that my "aura" is a bit fuzzy.  You know how the picture on a tv can get offset a bit and you get a "ghost" image?  That is what I feel like 98% of the time.  Not sure if I am explaining it properly.

You do not need to.

The empathy that you will find here renders verbal expression and interpretation wholly unnecessary.

We know..   :( :)


I have never felt comfortable in my female body, hate my boobs wish i could chop them off and that my hips would go with 'em.  Dresses, pink, motherhood... society says that is what my sex is supposed to embrace.  I can't identify with that in the least bit.

'Society' functions upon simple stereotypes and rigid categorization [sparing it from actually thinking and making intelligent, prudent, fair and loving assessments and judgments..

Therefore, it could be stated with a certain degree of accuracy that, "'Society' is full of it." ::)

The fault lies with 'Society' and not you.  :)


Anyway, i have been searching the last two weeks for an online community of people who have had similar experiences in their lives.  I have never felt that I belong, anywhere...  my therapist I just recently told (after two years of going) of my gender issues.  And now, all of a sudden I realize I can't bury this anymore, that try as I might it won't go away.

Don't 'bury' it, honey.  :)

Some of us have paid a very heavy price for having [with futility] made the attempt.


Sorry if that was disjointed, my brain seems to be jumping around a lot these days.  I look forward to getting to know everyone better.  Thanks for welcoming me.

No need.  :)

There was no misunderstanding exactly what you said and expressed.

Welcome.   :)
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: J.T. on April 28, 2007, 11:28:16 AM
thanks jillieann, rhonda

yep, society sucks.  I always thought I didn't care about society, that I liked being different.  But it is so hard, when everyone around you has NO clue what is going on inside your head and make assumptions based on those categories/stereotypes.  Hence why I used to want to be a hermit, and have severe social anxiety.  I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me.  I just need to build of the confidence to be who i am.  I think I may be able to do that here.

Your welcome means the world to me.
Title: Re: Insert Boring Title Here
Post by: rhondabythebay on April 28, 2007, 12:35:12 PM
Quote from: ht on April 28, 2007, 11:28:16 AM
I always thought I didn't care about society, that I liked being different.  But it is so hard, when everyone around you has NO clue what is going on inside your head and make assumptions based on those categories/stereotypes.  Hence why I used to want to be a hermit, and have severe social anxiety.  I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me.

Welcome ht,

I am reading my own thoughts of the past here. The experience of social anxiety and, for me, depression came along with it. I think you will find a supportive and understanding community here. There is also tons of info on the wiki. I know my confidence in who I am has grown since coming out to some of my family and friends. Joining Susan's has helped a great deal too. Welcome again!

Hugs,

Rhonda