Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Orenildur on October 03, 2012, 05:21:51 PM Return to Full Version
Title: It may be a long way off, but I want to be prepared; so how do I start?
Post by: Orenildur on October 03, 2012, 05:21:51 PM
Post by: Orenildur on October 03, 2012, 05:21:51 PM
I've been thinking more and more about who I am, and what I want out of life. Especially after starting this indiegogo campaign (long story).
I know that I can't come out right now, and I know that I have to wait before I can start presenting as male; but I have no idea what to do when I do get to that point. I mean, I've fairly sorted out the big down-the-road things, like hormones and top surgery and a name change. But those are still quite a ways off at this point in my life. So I'm trying to figure out little ways I can start presenting in the mean time.
I may not be completely out at the moment, but there are a few close friends who know; it's sort of a "don't ask, don't tell" thing with me. I don't outright hide the fact that I'm trans, but neither do I go blaring it around the local mall on Saturdays either lol. So I figure that if all goes well, and I'm able to find a job and start saving I can at least start somewhere, no matter how small.
So is there like a checklist or some pro-tips or what? Cause I don't think going up to my guy friends and saying "so could you teach me how to be a dude?" will work XD
Thanks in advance y'all.
I know that I can't come out right now, and I know that I have to wait before I can start presenting as male; but I have no idea what to do when I do get to that point. I mean, I've fairly sorted out the big down-the-road things, like hormones and top surgery and a name change. But those are still quite a ways off at this point in my life. So I'm trying to figure out little ways I can start presenting in the mean time.
I may not be completely out at the moment, but there are a few close friends who know; it's sort of a "don't ask, don't tell" thing with me. I don't outright hide the fact that I'm trans, but neither do I go blaring it around the local mall on Saturdays either lol. So I figure that if all goes well, and I'm able to find a job and start saving I can at least start somewhere, no matter how small.
So is there like a checklist or some pro-tips or what? Cause I don't think going up to my guy friends and saying "so could you teach me how to be a dude?" will work XD
Thanks in advance y'all.
Title: Re: It may be a long way off, but I want to be prepared; so how do I start?
Post by: Laura Emily on October 03, 2012, 10:50:33 PM
Post by: Laura Emily on October 03, 2012, 10:50:33 PM
Well I'm going the other way, but you kind of already hit the nail on the head, just slightly askew. If you're looking for mannerism ways to present, just observe guys that your admire, not the jerks that do dumb S$%^. That's about all I have to offer. Good luck hun.
Title: Re: It may be a long way off, but I want to be prepared; so how do I start?
Post by: Orenildur on October 04, 2012, 01:05:22 AM
Post by: Orenildur on October 04, 2012, 01:05:22 AM
Mannerisms I'm not too worried about, throughout school I was mistaken for a boy and was once told off by a nine year old in a wal-mart bathroom that I'd gone in the wrong door XD. My dad's even told me that I walk like a man, when I'd been "misidentified" at the local supermarket. So I guess I'm lucky that I'm already very boyish, and I swear that in a lot of cases people have to take a moment to figure out what I am. Especially since I started keeping my hair short. As it stands, looking at other peoples stories on here; I find myself lucky in a lot of ways like that. Gotta thank Grandpa for his barrel chest and (as Dad so lovingly puts it) "linebacker shoulders."
I suppose what I'm really wondering is how I should handle going from full time lady to part time dude? I know I can't be a full time guy, not yet anyway; but I think that presenting as male part time will help me get out of this weird, genderless limbo-funk I've been in for the last few months. Even if it's just around the house, or around my girlfriend; it'd make me feel better -I think- to know that I've finally started.
I suppose what I'm really wondering is how I should handle going from full time lady to part time dude? I know I can't be a full time guy, not yet anyway; but I think that presenting as male part time will help me get out of this weird, genderless limbo-funk I've been in for the last few months. Even if it's just around the house, or around my girlfriend; it'd make me feel better -I think- to know that I've finally started.
Title: Re: It may be a long way off, but I want to be prepared; so how do I start?
Post by: justmeinoz on October 04, 2012, 05:33:36 AM
Post by: justmeinoz on October 04, 2012, 05:33:36 AM
Maybe start with approachin some close male relative if you have any who you are out to, or who seem approachable, and just hang out together. That is how a lot of men communicate, by non verbal language during shared activities. Just keep your eyes open and observe. It will come.
Title: Re: It may be a long way off, but I want to be prepared; so how do I start?
Post by: Jeatyn on October 04, 2012, 08:53:59 AM
Post by: Jeatyn on October 04, 2012, 08:53:59 AM
When I first started realising who I was I shaved my head, made a binder and stopped wearing womens clothes (at first this meant stealing my brothers clothes, until I bought my own) and nobody batted an eyelid. To be honest, unless you actually explain the situation, wearing boys clothes and having short hair won't really come up on peoples radar. You might be mistaken for a butch lesbian sometimes but that's about it.
I'm still a little confused about the advice you're asking for :P how to change your appearance in such a way that allows you to present as a boy in some places and a girl in others?
I'm still a little confused about the advice you're asking for :P how to change your appearance in such a way that allows you to present as a boy in some places and a girl in others?
Title: Re: It may be a long way off, but I want to be prepared; so how do I start?
Post by: JulieC. on October 04, 2012, 03:22:56 PM
Post by: JulieC. on October 04, 2012, 03:22:56 PM
I'm kinda in the same boat as you in that I can't go full time right now. I have a time line and that helps. And there are so many things to work on in the mean time. Voice, mannerisms, learning how the other gender thinks. These are all things you can work on. I think the advice to hang around with guys and see how they act is good. I think it's a little easier on ftms because you can dress in mens clothes and no one will bat an eye. We mtfs can't do that. Things that I do to help me feel more feminine...shave my legs, keep my toe nails polished and wear only panties. Maybe sounds dumb but you could let the hair on your legs grow and buy some boxers?
Title: Re: It may be a long way off, but I want to be prepared; so how do I start?
Post by: Orenildur on October 04, 2012, 11:05:18 PM
Post by: Orenildur on October 04, 2012, 11:05:18 PM
Thanks for the tips :)
@ Julie: lol way ahead of you there, I stopped shaving my legs a couple years ago.
Also as far as buying anything goes, that'll have to wait till I get a freaking job XD. This is also why I can't go full time, it's hard enough finding a job for me right now without having to try and explain all this to potential employers. So I figure, at least until I've managed to get something like a nest egg saved away and get closer to -at least- legally transitioning, I'll just have to leave "Jack" at the door.
@ Julie: lol way ahead of you there, I stopped shaving my legs a couple years ago.
Also as far as buying anything goes, that'll have to wait till I get a freaking job XD. This is also why I can't go full time, it's hard enough finding a job for me right now without having to try and explain all this to potential employers. So I figure, at least until I've managed to get something like a nest egg saved away and get closer to -at least- legally transitioning, I'll just have to leave "Jack" at the door.