Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Recently a friend and I were talking about her spouse.  Both transitioned long ago (25 years).

Her spouse has dementia and has recently began to forget she had surgery or transitioned.  I have looked for articles on the subject, but they are sorely lacking.

Imagine the horror of forgetting you transitioned, had FFS, BA and SRS.  And you revert to your old gender.

Now, we can discuss this as adults, or as children.

Remember the TOS when posting.

Dementia is gut wrenching to watch. I had never thought of it in this context. Thanks for bringing up this sensitive topic. Hugs, Devlyn

I certainly hope a thread like this couldn't possibly get derailed, I'm not sure how it could. I mean, wow. That is a really, really tough situation. Surely there has to be some experience out there with that as transitioners start to age. Dealing with dementia and Alzheimer's, this kind of stuff is completely on the table and possible. It's as much incomprehensible as someone basically regressing and ONLY remembering their life before 12 or something. No kids, no spouse, only mom and dad and memories of back then. I'd love for there to be more talk about this kind of subject and what happens. I've posted in Susan's before about what happens to older trans people when they can't take care of themselves. It's similar to gay and lesbian people in that many times there are no kids to support them. Interesting, Janet. Unfortunately, I don't know much about this situation but am curious to see if others know more about it.

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 08, 2012, 05:04:55 PM
Dementia is gut wrenching to watch. I had never thought of it in this context. Thanks for bringing up this sensitive topic. Hugs, Devlyn

My dad had Alzheimer's.  I'm worried about it as well.
  Joelene

Hi Janet,

I know what you mean.

Living and caring for a person with dementia is, I think, more soul destroying for the carer than the demented person. It is the carer than needs the support so often because they see the person they loved being destroyed and replaced by a person they don't know. While the demented person just looses it, and gradually, thank goddess, forgets it all.

In the case you refer to you can hear the frustration, sorrow and anger in the carer and my heart grieves for her. And I think the demented person appears to be coping well, within the boundaries that she is not sure of who she is and what she is doing.

And society doesn't care. If some one is different to 'normal' reject them, ignore them, hope they go away, and please goddess don't let it happen to me. But it does.


Hugs My Sister

Cindy

My grandmother (on my Dad's side) had dementia, she did not remember any family, did not remember that she had a bed to sleep in.  It is a very discouraging thing to have happen, not necessarily to the person affected, but the the remainder of the family who have so many memories of that person and want the fellowship that can no longer be given.

My father died from Alzheimer's and my mother had dementia. My dads decline was about 9 years. Mom's 5 years. We took care of her till about two years before the end. Neither could talk, walk, or perform any function of living except eating.  Eventually they can't eat or swallow.  It was hell for us but one we willing took on because we loved her.. My point in all this is to say the affected person has an easier time dealing with it then the care giver or family.

However, if the person is showing signs of anger, fear or anxiety etc I would highly recommend seeing a specialist in geriatric psychiatry. It can make a huge difference in their lives and those around them. It never pays to correct them or get angry at them. They can't help it and will not be able to understand what you are trying to communicate to them. Not much help I am sure