Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Sorry, silly title........ But its true :o

I will admit that since starting HRT over a year ago, sex drive as it was has declined.  I don't always feel physically horny, but I have become a lustful woman full of desire for men.  Predatory infact.  I have an intense burning desire for male company.  Not being able to meet that desire hurts me to the very core.  Sometimes it drives me to distraction.

What is even more distracting is I am climaxing in my sleep!  This has happened a few times over the past year.  The last being last night.  I work up in the early hours to a dream and the feeling of orgasm.  Low and behold I was climaxing as I woke up.  There was no mess as I orgasm dry now.  I have been on a steady dose of E for a year now.  I am also on anti-androgen which last blood test gave me a T reading 1.5.  Is the estrogen giving me a sex drive?  Is that possible?

I've brought a suspender belt and stockings and can't wait to try them out!! I just need a man who will appreciate it.  I am going full time next week and have been buying work clothes etc.  I have also brought a couple of pairs of killer heels, pencil skirts, fluffy light tops and a leather biker jacket that nips in at the waist.  I feel like a total fox in all of it. 

Anyone else having this experience?

Jo x

Holy Sh*t! Where were you when I was young, single and trying to live up to manhood?  :D
Ok just teasing you Joanna, but what I do know is that estrogen alone is usually a libido killer, even cis women have a certain amount of natural testosterone in their systems and when they get post menopause they sometimes get a very small dose to boost their libido. Chances are your adrenal gland may be creating enough T to cause you to be such a hottie. Not a bad problem to have, go with the flow sexy girl!

Allow me to joint the "Sexy Bitches Club" Dahrling

My libido has gone up since I started hrt.

My libido has dropped a bit, but my desire for physical intimacy hasn't (if that makes any sense).

Mostly, though, HRT is turning me into a weepy middle-aged woman who gets hot flashes.

Mind was really really reeeaallllyyyy low to begin with, now its totally gone. it doesnt exist at all.  Id rather count dots in ceiling tiles then romp around in bed. I enjoy being social,  but as soon as it comes to being touched, im like a feral cat that freaks.  even as a little kid I hated being touched,  Estrogen just made it easy to deal with XD. which im not complaining about one bit.  sex and intimacy was boring to me.  Id rather play shogi, be nerdy and play DnD with friends, or lay in my bean bag chair and drink tea while fussing with my guitar.

My libido isn't what it once was, but my cuddle-O-meter is off the charts... :-\

Quote from: TessaM on October 09, 2012, 05:49:29 PM
LOL Joana I know what you mean. I want a man so bad!!!  >:-)

ive always wondered what thats like, wanting someone, ive never had a sexual interest in anyone. I never looked at someone and wanted them. or even considered how they would be in bed ect ect.   maybe I got a screw loose somewhere >_>;;;

Quote from: Teela Renee on October 09, 2012, 06:20:00 PM
ive always wondered what thats like, wanting someone, ive never had a sexual interest in anyone. I never looked at someone and wanted them. or even considered how they would be in bed ect ect.   maybe I got a screw loose somewhere >_>;;;

It's either physical or psychological, in either case you might want to discuss it with both your counselor and MD, they might have some insights and a solution. Either way, it's unusual for any human being to be A-sexual or non-sexual other than purposefully as a matter of the will. Is it possible that you have been traumatized at a very young age? Do yourself a favor and discuss it with your counselor, we're not meant to be all alone as hermits.

Quote from: Shantel on October 09, 2012, 06:29:20 PM
It's either physical or psychological, in either case you might want to discuss it with both your counselor and MD, they might have some insights and a solution. Either way, it's unusual for any human being to be A-sexual or non-sexual other than purposefully as a matter of the will. Is it possible that you have been traumatized at a very young age? Do yourself a favor and discuss it with your counselor, we're not meant to be all alone as hermits.

my counsolor never leaves me alone about the topic, I was never abused as a kid, my parents made me feel like crap when I came out at 14 about being MTF. But I expected that so it wasnt a big deal to me.  After my first time having sex, I was like "seriously? this is what everyone rants and raves about? this is boring!"   that was my responce.   I even tried expermenting with a few other women, and men.   I love going out on the town with friends, but actually being involved with someone? never had any natural compulsion to it what so ever.              My family doctor & Endo is also blown away by it because any possiable medical reason that causes this, I was cleared off. A clean bill of health on every chemical level that could effect this way of thinking. or lack of.      body wise? I love my body. I fall in love with it more and more as HRT goes on.      but yeah ill be the first to admit its odd, very odd.  Cause when I go out with friends I have a blast and you'd think by watching me I was a die hard people person.  try to hit on me or show a sexual interest and you might as well hit on a rock XD

Quote from: Teela Renee on October 09, 2012, 06:39:54 PM
my counsolor never leaves me alone about the topic, I was never abused as a kid, my parents made me feel like crap when I came out at 14 about being MTF. But I expected that so it wasnt a big deal to me.  After my first time having sex, I was like "seriously? this is what everyone rants and raves about? this is boring!"   that was my responce.   I even tried expermenting with a few other women, and men.   I love going out on the town with friends, but actually being involved with someone? never had any natural compulsion to it what so ever.              My family doctor & Endo is also blown away by it because any possiable medical reason that causes this, I was cleared off. A clean bill of health on every chemical level that could effect this way of thinking. or lack of.      body wise? I love my body. I fall in love with it more and more as HRT goes on.      but yeah ill be the first to admit its odd, very odd.  Cause when I go out with friends I have a blast and you'd think by watching me I was a die hard people person.  try to hit on me or show a sexual interest and you might as well hit on a rock XD

There is nothing wrong with being like this. Not everyone is made to have a physically intimate relationship.

What does suck big time tho for me,  is   90% of my relationships end cause of this.  I can meet the social and emotional needs of my partners. But I cant keep them happy in the physically intimate department.  I cant wrap my head around how big an impact that has in relationships.

Quote from: Teela Renee on October 09, 2012, 06:57:35 PM
What does suck big time tho for me,  is   90% of my relationships end cause of this.  I can meet the social and emotional needs of my partners. But I cant keep them happy in the physically intimate department.  I cant wrap my head around how big an impact that has in relationships.

This may be a bit personal, so don't feel like you have to answer. Do you have it in you emotionally to provide them with physical intimacy when they need it? Such as letting them know that it does not do anything for you, but you want to make them happy, and make them feel good. This does not mean you have to use your little guy, or let them do anything to you. But, there are a lot of things you could do (if you can) that can provide them with that pleasure.

Quote from: TessaM on October 09, 2012, 05:49:29 PM
LOL Joana I know what you mean. I want a man so bad!!!  >:-)

and it shows in your eyes  :angel:

Quote from: Brooke777 on October 09, 2012, 07:00:39 PM
This may be a bit personal, so don't feel like you have to answer. Do you have it in you emotionally to provide them with physical intimacy when they need it? Such as letting them know that it does not do anything for you, but you want to make them happy, and make them feel good. This does not mean you have to use your little guy, or let them do anything to you. But, there are a lot of things you could do (if you can) that can provide them with that pleasure.

this might be my lack of knowledge in this area. But if you mean by, hugging/kissing/ cuddling/ other forms of body contact?  yeah im usually down for that.  But the actual lack of 'sex' is what drives them away.  I keep it to myself that I dont want to be doing it, But ive even done it for them just because I love them and wanted to satisfy them.  maybe they can sense that im doing if for them and not because I want to?

Quote from: Teela Renee on October 09, 2012, 07:08:32 PM

this might be my lack of knowledge in this area. But if you mean by, hugging/kissing/ cuddling/ other forms of body contact?  yeah im usually down for that.  But the actual lack of 'sex' is what drives them away.  I keep it to myself that I dont want to be doing it, But ive even done it for them just because I love them and wanted to satisfy them.  maybe they can sense that im doing if for them and not because I want to?

I think it is great you are willing to do so much for your partner. I also believe honesty is the best way to go. Just let them know what you like, and don't like. Follow that up with what you are willing to do to make them happy. I think this might help them understand and appreciate what you are doing for them. Just a thought.

Quote from: Teela Renee on October 09, 2012, 07:08:32 PM

this might be my lack of knowledge in this area. But if you mean by, hugging/kissing/ cuddling/ other forms of body contact?  yeah im usually down for that.  But the actual lack of 'sex' is what drives them away.  I keep it to myself that I dont want to be doing it, But ive even done it for them just because I love them and wanted to satisfy them.  maybe they can sense that im doing if for them and not because I want to?

well life ain't all about sex anyway, there are guys(or girls) who are very similar in that respect.


@Tessa I swear if you have any problems AT ALL, there are no straight men near you.

Quote from: Brooke777 on October 09, 2012, 07:11:50 PM
I think it is great you are willing to do so much for your partner. I also believe honesty is the best way to go. Just let them know what you like, and don't like. Follow that up with what you are willing to do to make them happy. I think this might help them understand and appreciate what you are doing for them. Just a thought.

yeah, I tried that with my last ex and it seemed to end things faster. But like Rita said, maybe ive just been with people to shallow to appreciate my preference. Biggest problem ive noticed these days im having is,  even being intrested in someone enough to approach them. My opinion on most people I encounter is "meh"
Maybe its just the area I currently live in. I've found I HATE country life. I think I need to relocate back into a city, or very large town again.  I hate to label people, but the people in the UP of michigan in my area just scream of the word redneck.  90% of them drink like fish, and even being with women up here is like being married to ESPN.   I think going to college up here was social suicide. :-\

Wow ladies thank you for your responses.

Those of you who wanted to be in the "Sexy Biatches Club" consider yourself enroled lol :laugh:

We are not all the same.  Alhtough we share a common goal, what we feel and how we live is completely individual.  We all react differently to HRT.  I beleive genetics plays a huge part in this. 

Teela, if you are happy as you are, then that is all that really matters.  There is nothing wrong with being less initmate or being more intimate.  It is individual choice.  Sometimes you have to just listen to yourself and your heart to fully understand what you want and need to make you happy.

BTW ladies, its my turn for a little FFS this Friday morning.  Awwwww so nervous.  I have to be at the hospital by 7 am and then taken to surgery at 9 am, a little prep work and then slicing and dicing by 0930 hrs!!  I hope it goes ok :embarrassed:

Thanks Jo

Teela you certainly are not alone.  I have a good friend who describes himself as an asexual gay man. He has always known he was gay from an early age, just has no interest in the sexual side of a relationship.
As for me Joanna, I feel similar, except it is for girls, although there are a few guys I have to admit are somewhat attractive.  My libido is different to pre-transition though, instead of a typical male arousal that I really wasn't comfortable with, I now find myself wanting to please a woman far more than receiving pleasure myself. 

Karen.

Hi Joanna.
Like Shantel said, estrogen isn't really known for its libido properties. But the brain is the biggest sex organ, and women often feel horny due to outside factors, such as feeling good about themselves and their bodies. Estrogen is making you feel better, so it's probably indirectly responsible for turning you into a sex-crazed b_  :laugh:

Quote from: Forum Admin on October 10, 2012, 01:09:23 PM
Hi Joanna.
Like Shantel said, estrogen isn't really known for its libido properties. But the brain is the biggest sex organ, and women often feel horny due to outside factors, such as feeling good about themselves and their bodies. Estrogen is making you feel better, so it's probably indirectly responsible for turning you into a sex-crazed b_  :laugh:

I completely agree!  Hence the ability to completely shut it off when you desire.  Its like a giant switch in my brain I can mess around with xD.

Or until my GF flicks the switch and well she has control of that when she wants to  ;D

I guess I have always had a strong sex drive. Hormones didn't change much on that. Thoughts and touch changed, bite my shoulder and I will completely bend to their sexual will, I became more a enjoyer of mild pain. I would guess it's not so much the meds as much as my coming around to various sexual stimulus.

Quote from: Teela Renee on October 09, 2012, 07:08:32 PM

this might be my lack of knowledge in this area. But if you mean by, hugging/kissing/ cuddling/ other forms of body contact?  yeah im usually down for that.  But the actual lack of 'sex' is what drives them away.  I keep it to myself that I dont want to be doing it, But ive even done it for them just because I love them and wanted to satisfy them.  maybe they can sense that im doing if for them and not because I want to?

I think you are going to need to be straight up with people if you want to find someone compatible. For me, being desired is kind of necessary to connect to someone. If you didn't want to screw me, regardless of whether you were willing to screw me, I wouldn't be able to believe that you cared about me. I'm just not built that way. Words don't do it. My emotions are wired into my physicality. And there are quite a lot of people who are like that, especially girls apparently.

I don't think it's shallow. It's just different. Sex is a really intimate experience for me. I can't do that with someone who doesn't want me. That would be... well kind of gross.


And I guess that kind of answers Joanna too. My sex drive is pretty intense. I kind of hate not having anyone at the moment. But at the same time I'm not sure I'm really comfortable enough with my body yet that it's a good idea. Very torn.

Hi Ladies,
      First of all, good luck Joanna, your FFS will go fine. You're already a pretty girl, though, and I didn't see the need. As for me, I've been full time for 13 months yesterday and on HRT for 15 months. In the beginning of my taking hormones I would have little orgasms several times a day the day of and the day after my progynon shot, then they slowly disappeared. My sexual appetite was always bisexual, but I enjoyed men more than women, who I enjoyed too, but I was always trying to prove myself masculine with women, and felt like a lesbian no matter how many I made love with. I was always with men as a woman and it was far more emotionally and physically satisfying to me. I've been attracted to men exclusively for about fifteen years, but he had to be really special for me to really lust after him and nothing ever happened. Now, in the last several months my state of arousal is nearly constant and I am constantly in lust looking at gorgeous men. I'm 58 years old and feel I look very good for my age, but I am, after all, 58. I'm in a sexual relationship with a 31 year old surfer and I think about him night and day. I don't get to see him nearly enough for me and would wear him out if I had the chance. I love being a woman, being held and cuddling, but I'm soooo horny I feel like I'm fifteen. One of the girls here said our libidos might be raised because we're happy, and that's certainly my case. I've lost 62 lbs. since July 12th, 2011, and I've lost the weight because I'm happy. I've only got fifteen more to lose and I've gone down from a 16 to an 8-10 depending on the maker. That's increased my lust exponentially too, because I have one attribute men love and look at all the time now, my legs. Anyway, please include me in the club. I have one question. I've only posted a few times, but I wanted to post on the 'before and after photos and couldn't figure out how to do it. Could someone tell me how? Hugs, Miranda

Quote from: Teela Renee on October 09, 2012, 06:57:35 PM
What does suck big time tho for me,  is   90% of my relationships end cause of this.  I can meet the social and emotional needs of my partners. But I cant keep them happy in the physically intimate department.  I cant wrap my head around how big an impact that has in relationships.

I have the exact problem.