Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: kristenlaura on October 19, 2012, 03:25:54 PM Return to Full Version
Title: New member and apologies
Post by: kristenlaura on October 19, 2012, 03:25:54 PM
Post by: kristenlaura on October 19, 2012, 03:25:54 PM
Hi Everyone, I apologize because the other day I wrote and posted my life story, in a very log post at least over 120 of you view, but probably didn't read all the way. Some did and replied and I thank them now as I did in a reply to the original post. I wound up removing the post because I feel it asked questions I was able to resolve to a certain point reading many of the posts on here and other research. I also felt that it was too personal and awkward and I didn't want it to represent the person I am.
My original post had a lot to do with the confusion of "pleasure" I receive while being dressed, and weather or not I am more than a cross dresser. In reading many posts here I see that it is quite common to have arousal with the dressing and does not diminish the other feelings I have about my gender. I have read the the controversial views about ->-bleeped-<- and although I can relate to the "symptoms" I by no means think it applies to anyone else, unless that is what that person believes, who am I to make that determination.
In regards to the question of if I am more than a cross dresser; I have been with a gender therapist for over a year and am still no closer to resolving my issues, I have met with a new therapist and will be seeing her soon. I hope to report better luck.
I know there is a strong level of gender confusion with me but not sure of how far I wish to go. I am on HRT for the last 5 months, but at a very low dose and that has made a huge difference in my well being. I do however still have many fears, denial issues, self loathing, and confusion which I hope therapy will help in resolving. I was approved for HRT and in the care of professionals, FYI.
I am married, "Male" is on my drivers license, and have a child, and my wife knows but is not that supportive. I do not blame her though, she is a good person and honest. She says she cannot be with me if I transitioned and she worries for my child and I do too, it's a mean, mean world out there.
I always thought myself just a cross dresser but the last few years as I integrated more in public and with the LGBT community I found that I was very comfortable in the female role and have gotten to know myself a lot more. Because I was hiding a lot of this from my wife, since I was afraid of losing my wife and child, I have hidden a lot of my "other" life from her, she knows all now and we are currently in a semi state of self denial and acceptance. For now I have ceased all outside expressions of Kristen and the weight of that is mounting. I miss my friends and support structure, but it makes the home life easier. I cannot shake the "protector" label.
Anyway, this is longer than I wanted it to be, but thought a real intro was needed.
Thank you and I hope to be a contributor, and not a deleter.
Kristen
My original post had a lot to do with the confusion of "pleasure" I receive while being dressed, and weather or not I am more than a cross dresser. In reading many posts here I see that it is quite common to have arousal with the dressing and does not diminish the other feelings I have about my gender. I have read the the controversial views about ->-bleeped-<- and although I can relate to the "symptoms" I by no means think it applies to anyone else, unless that is what that person believes, who am I to make that determination.
In regards to the question of if I am more than a cross dresser; I have been with a gender therapist for over a year and am still no closer to resolving my issues, I have met with a new therapist and will be seeing her soon. I hope to report better luck.
I know there is a strong level of gender confusion with me but not sure of how far I wish to go. I am on HRT for the last 5 months, but at a very low dose and that has made a huge difference in my well being. I do however still have many fears, denial issues, self loathing, and confusion which I hope therapy will help in resolving. I was approved for HRT and in the care of professionals, FYI.
I am married, "Male" is on my drivers license, and have a child, and my wife knows but is not that supportive. I do not blame her though, she is a good person and honest. She says she cannot be with me if I transitioned and she worries for my child and I do too, it's a mean, mean world out there.
I always thought myself just a cross dresser but the last few years as I integrated more in public and with the LGBT community I found that I was very comfortable in the female role and have gotten to know myself a lot more. Because I was hiding a lot of this from my wife, since I was afraid of losing my wife and child, I have hidden a lot of my "other" life from her, she knows all now and we are currently in a semi state of self denial and acceptance. For now I have ceased all outside expressions of Kristen and the weight of that is mounting. I miss my friends and support structure, but it makes the home life easier. I cannot shake the "protector" label.
Anyway, this is longer than I wanted it to be, but thought a real intro was needed.
Thank you and I hope to be a contributor, and not a deleter.
Kristen
Title: Re: New member and apologies
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on October 19, 2012, 03:37:56 PM
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on October 19, 2012, 03:37:56 PM
Hi kristenlaura, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 8635 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS ) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-8.gif&hash=d9498942f8bbb4bf3ad29af75944ea5e1135c6fa)
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Welcome to our little family. Over 8635 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS ) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-8.gif&hash=d9498942f8bbb4bf3ad29af75944ea5e1135c6fa)
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Title: Re: New member and apologies
Post by: Jamie D on October 20, 2012, 01:40:27 AM
Post by: Jamie D on October 20, 2012, 01:40:27 AM
Welcome back, Kristin.
Having married and started a family no doubt makes your issues that much more complicated. I understand, because I am in the same boat.
It has been my experience that must address the issues sooner or later, because if you don't address them, they will eat you alive. Seeking out therapy is wise. You migjt consider couples therapy as well.
Good luck to you.
Having married and started a family no doubt makes your issues that much more complicated. I understand, because I am in the same boat.
It has been my experience that must address the issues sooner or later, because if you don't address them, they will eat you alive. Seeking out therapy is wise. You migjt consider couples therapy as well.
Good luck to you.