Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Laura Emily on October 30, 2012, 08:03:32 PM Return to Full Version
Title: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Laura Emily on October 30, 2012, 08:03:32 PM
Post by: Laura Emily on October 30, 2012, 08:03:32 PM
So today has been pretty crappy mood-wise. I find myself wishing I simply didn't exist any longer. Just a simple little "poof" and I'd be erased from existence and all knowledge, as though I had never existed. Such a beautiful, simple concept, and realistically one that will never occur outside of Hollywood. Still, I wish it all the same. Just when you think all will be well, the carpet is pulled out from under you and the illusion fades. I'm tired of feeling like this, it just makes me wish i would have been born "typical", but I'll never be neural-typical, and I'm just getting older and fatter. Someone told me I'm a cyclic depressive and I should seek medical help for it. I said I'm tired of having to take pills just to be okay. I'm not even sure she was right. At any rate and for what it's worth, I can't imagine I'm alone in this. There must be one more soul on this planet who can relate. If you're on here, what do you do when you get this way? Thanks
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Devlyn on October 30, 2012, 08:12:07 PM
Post by: Devlyn on October 30, 2012, 08:12:07 PM
I have dogs, actually only one right now. They are very good for the soul. A few minutes with a dog and things just seem better. They always calm me down and put life in better focus. You asked, hon! Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Laura Emily on October 30, 2012, 08:16:01 PM
Post by: Laura Emily on October 30, 2012, 08:16:01 PM
I have a cat.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Devlyn on October 30, 2012, 08:21:17 PM
Post by: Devlyn on October 30, 2012, 08:21:17 PM
I used to have cats, but it's an all K-9 house now. What's been bugging you the most? We're expert listeners here. Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Laura Emily on October 30, 2012, 08:25:25 PM
Post by: Laura Emily on October 30, 2012, 08:25:25 PM
I don't know what's wrong with me, what's causing this depression today. I woke up this way as I often do and it often lasts for days, when it comes. I had an awful dream last night where everyone I loved was dying off. If this is how it's going to be, though, constant bouts of depression all my life, I can't wait to die.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Devlyn on October 30, 2012, 08:31:30 PM
Post by: Devlyn on October 30, 2012, 08:31:30 PM
It's not how it's going to be. Remember, life offers you things. Some you want, some you don't. Death offers nothing. Go for what you want, and brush off the things you don't. Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: SilentArchitect on October 31, 2012, 04:38:49 AM
Post by: SilentArchitect on October 31, 2012, 04:38:49 AM
Quote from: Laura Emily on October 30, 2012, 08:03:32 PM
So today has been pretty crappy mood-wise. I find myself wishing I simply didn't exist any longer. Just a simple little "poof" and I'd be erased from existence and all knowledge, as though I had never existed. Such a beautiful, simple concept, and realistically one that will never occur outside of Hollywood. Still, I wish it all the same. Just when you think all will be well, the carpet is pulled out from under you and the illusion fades. I'm tired of feeling like this, it just makes me wish i would have been born "typical", but I'll never be neural-typical, and I'm just getting older and fatter. Someone told me I'm a cyclic depressive and I should seek medical help for it. I said I'm tired of having to take pills just to be okay. I'm not even sure she was right. At any rate and for what it's worth, I can't imagine I'm alone in this. There must be one more soul on this planet who can relate. If you're on here, what do you do when you get this way? Thanks
Theres 2 choices in life.
1. Give up (which isn't the answer).
2. Fight back and be proud that you are stronger than most people.
Try not to take people too seriously i.e. if people/strangers say anything negative towards you.
I guarantee that what they really think, 9 times out of 10 isn't what they really think (If it's a negative comment).
keep busy with things in your life, learn a new language, join a gym, write a book. Anything your interested in that keeps your mind occupied, your brain is a muscle, it needs a constant workout.
I'm not saying you don't do any of the above, I'm just mentioning the above because I'd go mad if I wasn't an active person ;D
Title: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Laura Emily on October 31, 2012, 05:15:32 AM
Post by: Laura Emily on October 31, 2012, 05:15:32 AM
It's nothing anyone has said/done towards me (I haven't had any derogatory comments made for a couple years). This depression (if that's what it is) just comes on randomly - seemingly.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: SilentArchitect on October 31, 2012, 05:40:12 AM
Post by: SilentArchitect on October 31, 2012, 05:40:12 AM
Quote from: Laura Emily on October 31, 2012, 05:15:32 AM
It's nothing anyone has said/done towards me (I haven't had any derogatory comments made for a couple years). This depression (if that's what it is) just comes on randomly - seemingly.
There's someone I know with a Sad Light, that may help you?
Have you heard about Sad Lights? At least that's what I think the term is for them.
My friend has hers on her desk all day, she said it helps her.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Taka on October 31, 2012, 05:52:38 AM
Post by: Taka on October 31, 2012, 05:52:38 AM
random depression is random. not much you can do about it other than lessen your daily worries one by one, so that depression doesn't get too much to feed on. most of my random depressions disappeared when i got a good job, even more are disappearing as i adjust to my work situation and start feeling like i can handle it. there's still a lot left, but i haven't felt like ceasing to exist in several months now.
of course i still get down, but just knowing that it'll pass makes it easier to just let it happen, and continue my life while waiting for brighter days. those random depressions aren't always triggered by something easily identifiable, but just trying to find the cause might also help. right now we're a day or two after a full moon, and these days always make me anxious or depressed with no other reason than the moon starting to disappear again. the days just before new moon are worse still, but how bad seems to depend mostly on whether i have worries to feed depression and anxiety or not.
study your own depression cycles like many women study their monthly cycles. write down on your calendar when it starts and ends, and whether there was anything triggering it or not. finding a pattern can be interesting, but not finding one can be just as interesting. looking at my own random depression cycles/mood swings as some kind of interesting natural phenomenon to be studied made it a little more easy to bear, since i acknowledged that it isn't necessarily me there's something wrong with. my body/brain just reacts oddly to changes in my environment, and making the right precautions can help lessen depression when it hits.
and if that doesn't help, think of your poor cat. you can't cease to exist, since science can't do that quite yet. if you die, your existence will always be remembered by part of the world, and it would confuse or even devastate your cat. poor innocent little thing wouldn't understand suicide or other sudden death. and remember that death is a once in a lifetime experience, it should be enjoyed at the content and rather happy end of your life, rather than rushed.
of course i still get down, but just knowing that it'll pass makes it easier to just let it happen, and continue my life while waiting for brighter days. those random depressions aren't always triggered by something easily identifiable, but just trying to find the cause might also help. right now we're a day or two after a full moon, and these days always make me anxious or depressed with no other reason than the moon starting to disappear again. the days just before new moon are worse still, but how bad seems to depend mostly on whether i have worries to feed depression and anxiety or not.
study your own depression cycles like many women study their monthly cycles. write down on your calendar when it starts and ends, and whether there was anything triggering it or not. finding a pattern can be interesting, but not finding one can be just as interesting. looking at my own random depression cycles/mood swings as some kind of interesting natural phenomenon to be studied made it a little more easy to bear, since i acknowledged that it isn't necessarily me there's something wrong with. my body/brain just reacts oddly to changes in my environment, and making the right precautions can help lessen depression when it hits.
and if that doesn't help, think of your poor cat. you can't cease to exist, since science can't do that quite yet. if you die, your existence will always be remembered by part of the world, and it would confuse or even devastate your cat. poor innocent little thing wouldn't understand suicide or other sudden death. and remember that death is a once in a lifetime experience, it should be enjoyed at the content and rather happy end of your life, rather than rushed.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Apples Mk.II on October 31, 2012, 05:59:28 AM
Post by: Apples Mk.II on October 31, 2012, 05:59:28 AM
When I used to have "feel down / blue" moments" (nothing compared to what I am going through now) I'd try to do something uplifting. Play a videogame, watch a series I liked, use my folder of mood uplifting music...
At the current level, I just get into the to bed and try not to think, maybe with one high grade beer to kock me down a bit. Nothing works lately. Using my previous countermeasures just makes me feel more miserable.
I wish I could have a dog or a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend, I don't mind.
At the current level, I just get into the to bed and try not to think, maybe with one high grade beer to kock me down a bit. Nothing works lately. Using my previous countermeasures just makes me feel more miserable.
I wish I could have a dog or a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend, I don't mind.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: FTMDiaries on October 31, 2012, 06:03:50 AM
Post by: FTMDiaries on October 31, 2012, 06:03:50 AM
I suffer from high anxiety levels (due to Asperger's) which trigger occasional bouts of depression. I've been severely clinically depressed and have needed treatment several times over the years. Sometimes I can cope with everyday life, and sometimes it's just too much for me to handle.
When things are just generally crappy, I try to remind myself that whatever is currently bugging me is really just a temporary blip on my radar and I won't even remember it in five years' time. That simple thought has helped carry me through some very difficult periods.
If it's a specific person who is making my life miserable, I challenge myself to continue irrespective of whoever or whatever is getting me down. I'll be damned if I'll let the feckers win - and if I give up, they'll win. I'm not having that! (That thought has saved my life three times).
However, when I'm clinically depressed it's very difficult for either of these options to work as I'm so wrapped up in depression that I almost feel numb and I wish I could just give up. I've been there many times so I know it's a warning sign that I've reached the point where I can no longer cope with just my self-help mechanisms. And yes, sometimes it does creep up on me for no apparent reason - that's what depression does.
At that point, I drag myself to my doctor and tell her I'm having a very rough time with my depression. She books me off work for a week (with 'stress') and prescribes anti-depressants. I then spend that week in my pyjamas, drinking hot chocolate all day long whilst watching rubbish television or playing on my XBox. I also sleep for hours & hours to relax myself. I call it my 'reset' button because I need to get away from people for a while in order to rebuild my ability to cope - I'm sure you have something in your life that could do the same for you.
I'm no expert, but it sounds to me like you might be in that 'feeling numb' phase of depression and that you need to reset. Please, see your doctor. Today.
When things are just generally crappy, I try to remind myself that whatever is currently bugging me is really just a temporary blip on my radar and I won't even remember it in five years' time. That simple thought has helped carry me through some very difficult periods.
If it's a specific person who is making my life miserable, I challenge myself to continue irrespective of whoever or whatever is getting me down. I'll be damned if I'll let the feckers win - and if I give up, they'll win. I'm not having that! (That thought has saved my life three times).
However, when I'm clinically depressed it's very difficult for either of these options to work as I'm so wrapped up in depression that I almost feel numb and I wish I could just give up. I've been there many times so I know it's a warning sign that I've reached the point where I can no longer cope with just my self-help mechanisms. And yes, sometimes it does creep up on me for no apparent reason - that's what depression does.
At that point, I drag myself to my doctor and tell her I'm having a very rough time with my depression. She books me off work for a week (with 'stress') and prescribes anti-depressants. I then spend that week in my pyjamas, drinking hot chocolate all day long whilst watching rubbish television or playing on my XBox. I also sleep for hours & hours to relax myself. I call it my 'reset' button because I need to get away from people for a while in order to rebuild my ability to cope - I'm sure you have something in your life that could do the same for you.
I'm no expert, but it sounds to me like you might be in that 'feeling numb' phase of depression and that you need to reset. Please, see your doctor. Today.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: JoanneB on October 31, 2012, 05:22:01 PM
Post by: JoanneB on October 31, 2012, 05:22:01 PM
My general philosophy was Life sucks and then you die. However problems do often arise when I refuse to totally embrace it. I wish I had a new one. Then I wouldn't feel so depressed when I get depressed over my life
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: onerous on October 31, 2012, 05:25:43 PM
Post by: onerous on October 31, 2012, 05:25:43 PM
I lift weights, listen to angry music, and sleep.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: twit on October 31, 2012, 05:32:22 PM
Post by: twit on October 31, 2012, 05:32:22 PM
I play with my little friend, my dog. He's good at cheering me up.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on October 31, 2012, 05:39:55 PM
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on October 31, 2012, 05:39:55 PM
It might be anxiety. Are you not coming up on SRS? Sometimes when people are facing major surgery, they can get depressed.
Facing a major change in one's life will cause depression. Get out and go enjoy a past time.
Facing a major change in one's life will cause depression. Get out and go enjoy a past time.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Jamie D on November 01, 2012, 12:03:53 AM
Post by: Jamie D on November 01, 2012, 12:03:53 AM
Quote from: Jaime on October 31, 2012, 05:32:22 PM
I play with my little friend, my dog. He's good at cheering me up.
I don't call mine "my dog." :o
(and I don't play with him much, either)
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Laura Emily on November 01, 2012, 12:07:30 AM
Post by: Laura Emily on November 01, 2012, 12:07:30 AM
Quote from: Ms. OBrien on October 31, 2012, 05:39:55 PM
It might be anxiety. Are you not coming up on SRS? Sometimes when people are facing major surgery, they can get depressed.
Facing a major change in one's life will cause depression. Get out and go enjoy a past time.
Idk I guess it could be. Surgery is feb 4th. Still haven't received the confirmation letter however.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Ave on November 01, 2012, 12:22:16 AM
Post by: Ave on November 01, 2012, 12:22:16 AM
Quote from: Jamie D on November 01, 2012, 12:03:53 AM
I don't call mine "my dog." :o
(and I don't play with him much, either)
lol you're so naughty, this is totally awkward while I'm watching a documentary on Putin :O
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: twit on November 01, 2012, 02:56:54 AM
Post by: twit on November 01, 2012, 02:56:54 AM
Quote from: Jamie D on November 01, 2012, 12:03:53 AMlol, you have got a dirty mind.
I don't call mine "my dog." :o
(and I don't play with him much, either)
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: big kim on November 01, 2012, 03:09:25 AM
Post by: big kim on November 01, 2012, 03:09:25 AM
Listen to music,I like all sorts of music classical jazz punk goth ska blues metal rock n roll.Watch birds and wild animals or if it's too cold or wet a favourite Tv show
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Nicolette on November 01, 2012, 05:48:28 AM
Post by: Nicolette on November 01, 2012, 05:48:28 AM
I allow the negative energy to flow from my finger tips into the ivory keys of my piano where it is sublimated into beautiful sounding creative energy. My piano is my safety valve. It's more efficacious than any drug out there.
Anyone else turn to playing an instrument or anything else creative?
Anyone else turn to playing an instrument or anything else creative?
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Laura Emily on November 01, 2012, 07:54:11 AM
Post by: Laura Emily on November 01, 2012, 07:54:11 AM
Quote from: Tesla on November 01, 2012, 05:48:28 AM
I allow the negative energy to flow from my finger tips into the ivory keys of my piano where it is sublimated into beautiful sounding creative energy. My piano is my safety valve. It's more efficacious than any drug out there.
Anyone else turn to playing an instrument or anything else creative?
I used to play guitar alot. I have a set of drums too, and I used to love singing but I can't really do that any longer. I write lyrics still when inspiration hits, it's frustrating usually, as I don't often seem to be able to write happy songs. Musically I've not been inspired for many years now. The last son I wrote with music is what got me where I am today - eventually. Schools almost out for the year and I'm taking next year off due to the surgey. They wouldn't let me jut take a few months off because too much practical time would be lost, which makes sense. Maybe then I'll have more time to play my instruments.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Jamie D on November 01, 2012, 09:38:07 AM
Post by: Jamie D on November 01, 2012, 09:38:07 AM
Quote from: Jaime on November 01, 2012, 02:56:54 AM
lol, you have got a dirty mind.
Moi?
When life gets me down, I like to fall back on my friends and just talk. We can talk about whatever the issues are, or be much less serious and just joke around.
I like to think I have thousands of friends here, who can understand the types of things that get to me, because we share a similar life experience. It is comforting to have someone who will listen. That is why I try to be a good listener as well.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Ave on November 01, 2012, 09:40:27 AM
Post by: Ave on November 01, 2012, 09:40:27 AM
Quote from: Laura Emily on November 01, 2012, 07:54:11 AM
I used to play guitar alot. I have a set of drums too, and I used to love singing but I can't really do that any longer. I write lyrics still when inspiration hits, it's frustrating usually, as I don't often seem to be able to write happy songs. Musically I've not been inspired for many years now. The last son I wrote with music is what got me where I am today - eventually. Schools almost out for the year and I'm taking next year off due to the surgey. They wouldn't let me jut take a few months off because too much practical time would be lost, which makes sense. Maybe then I'll have more time to play my instruments.
Can second the guitar playing, I need to get back in form, but something about playing/singing is a huge stress reliever.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Laura Emily on November 01, 2012, 09:44:18 AM
Post by: Laura Emily on November 01, 2012, 09:44:18 AM
I can barely manage to play and sing simultaneously and I don't often sing anymore because I'm not fond of my singing voice. When I used to be inspired enough to write, it really helped alot. Music for me (in the past anyways) has definitely been a good source of venting.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Nicolette on November 01, 2012, 10:26:55 AM
Post by: Nicolette on November 01, 2012, 10:26:55 AM
Making music is fantastic therapy. What better way to invest all those energies that can give pleasure to others. It allows a connection to be made in an abstract and emotional way between the player and listener that would be difficult otherwise. My greatest joy is if the listener can tell me that they feel emotionally touched, even exhausted, after playing a piece. Struggle is responsible for some of the most beautiful music in this world. Don't let the talent go to waste, go and touch some folk with music of your soul!
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Lady Autumn on November 01, 2012, 10:29:31 AM
Post by: Lady Autumn on November 01, 2012, 10:29:31 AM
I've never been good at giving advice or even being sympathetic. But I do know heartbreak and depression. In my opinion the best way to cheer yourself up is:
1.) Play with the cat
2.) Eat some cheesecake (or whatever you want to eat)
3.) Buy some new pretty shoes.
Don't worry, I'll never be a therapist, these are just things that get me through the day.
1.) Play with the cat
2.) Eat some cheesecake (or whatever you want to eat)
3.) Buy some new pretty shoes.
Don't worry, I'll never be a therapist, these are just things that get me through the day.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Laura Emily on November 01, 2012, 10:53:01 AM
Post by: Laura Emily on November 01, 2012, 10:53:01 AM
Quote from: Lady Autumn on November 01, 2012, 10:29:31 AM
I've never been good at giving advice or even being sympathetic. But I do know heartbreak and depression. In my opinion the best way to cheer yourself up is:
1.) Play with the cat
2.) Eat some cheesecake (or whatever you want to eat)
3.) Buy some new pretty shoes.
Don't worry, I'll never be a therapist, these are just things that get me through the day.
My cat never leaves me alone when I'm home - I adore him to pieces.
Eating is something I'm trying to lessen these days...i just keep getting fatter. I've gained 10 lbs in the last couple weeks.
You can never have enough shoes! but until I'm working again...I haz no moonies lol
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Lady Autumn on November 01, 2012, 11:04:44 AM
Post by: Lady Autumn on November 01, 2012, 11:04:44 AM
Quote from: Laura Emily on November 01, 2012, 10:53:01 AM
You can never have enough shoes! but until I'm working again...I haz no moonies lol
You can still dream of shoes. Plus they are so loyal! When you have money again you can buy more shoes!
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Nicolette on November 01, 2012, 11:33:39 AM
Post by: Nicolette on November 01, 2012, 11:33:39 AM
Quote from: Laura91 on November 01, 2012, 11:09:33 AM
Music is cool but I would rather play experimental noise instead. Noise can be just as beautiful as music.
Yep. One person's experimental noise is often another person's avant garde music. :)
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Devlyn on November 01, 2012, 12:12:08 PM
Post by: Devlyn on November 01, 2012, 12:12:08 PM
Noise, noise, noise!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1279.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy537%2FDevlynMarie%2Fthegrinchnoise_zpsef4b6177.jpg&hash=8a646fb429c5099edce5085cb00aa482414c13f1)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1279.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy537%2FDevlynMarie%2Fthegrinchnoise_zpsef4b6177.jpg&hash=8a646fb429c5099edce5085cb00aa482414c13f1)
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: peky on November 01, 2012, 01:12:10 PM
Post by: peky on November 01, 2012, 01:12:10 PM
First Day:
#1 Find somebody to have a pity party
#2 Have a few drinks
Second day:
#3 take a few aspirin to dispel the hangover
#4 Get into a sexy outfit and go to a disco place (nothing beats the lascivious looks of the boys to uplift your spirit) >:-)
#1 Find somebody to have a pity party
#2 Have a few drinks
Second day:
#3 take a few aspirin to dispel the hangover
#4 Get into a sexy outfit and go to a disco place (nothing beats the lascivious looks of the boys to uplift your spirit) >:-)
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: justmeinoz on November 01, 2012, 01:19:43 PM
Post by: justmeinoz on November 01, 2012, 01:19:43 PM
Hanging out with positive friends always works for me. Not totally, but being appreciated for who I am makes me realise I am not a failure, or a bad person. Anti-depressants help as a crutch until other methods can take over, so don't dismiss the drugs outright.
Do you have access to a psychologist? Learning new coping strategies is always good. Dreams of losing loved ones sounds like fear of that post-op, but if they love you they will be happy for you. Have you talked to the people involved lately? Might be good to catch up.
Just do go popping off the twig so close to your surgery okay?
Karen.
Do you have access to a psychologist? Learning new coping strategies is always good. Dreams of losing loved ones sounds like fear of that post-op, but if they love you they will be happy for you. Have you talked to the people involved lately? Might be good to catch up.
Just do go popping off the twig so close to your surgery okay?
Karen.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Amanda-Quezada on November 08, 2012, 07:59:10 PM
Post by: Amanda-Quezada on November 08, 2012, 07:59:10 PM
Exercise! :) Our body and mind is so connected...when one does not feel right the other does not either. I started alot of hiking/walking and now feel super good! I think its about time to throw the med in the trash.
Title: Re: What do you when life gets you down?
Post by: Jason.Bailey on November 10, 2012, 05:50:23 AM
Post by: Jason.Bailey on November 10, 2012, 05:50:23 AM
music... lots and lots of music...and animals. but when I can't do either, when I'm really stressed out or just feeling down, I have a habit of reading text books...mostly science...It distracts me from whatever is on my mind, plus, I get to learn something new.