Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I wonder if anyone has a similar experience. A few months ago I thought I was asexual-- well really was. Now I have fallen head over heels for a transgal. I don't actually know her that well as I have only seen her in the support group, but we have similar (weird) sense of humor and think she is way smart and really sweet. I'd guess this is a teenage crush, but of course I am way older than that and pre-T.

So I asked her out. Turns out, she likes me as well as I like her. :) 
We have talked about it and we both think the gender binary doesn't quite apply to us. I actually consider myself genderqueer even though I don't want to be that way in a female body anymore.

Now for the fun stuff: I was thinking about a date and I started thinking all sorts of male role cr**-- picking her up and so on. I don't even believe in male/female role stuff.

So I'd love to hear how other people handled stuff and you'alls take on this.
Be nice. I have a fragile male ego now (or something). :)

--Jay J

I think trans dating trans would be great.
I mean, honestly...Can a cisgender person truly ever understand us and relate on the level that a fellow trans person can? I don't think so. If there is a strong mutual attraction, then I think it would be absolutely wonderful to have such a connection with a fellow trans.

The guy I have been seeing is a trans* man. We don't really follow many social norms when it comes to male/female roles. We just kind of go about things in a way that is comfortable for us both. When we go out, he doesn't pick me up, we meet there. He does usually hold the door for me. I help pay for part of the evening. I figure it would be rude to make him pay for everyting especially since I make significantly more than he does.

I think the best part of our situation is that we understand each other. We can appreciate where the other person is coming from. It is easy to talk about the things that bother you since they have/do feel something similar. I'm not saying that I would only date a trans person, but for my first relationship as a trans woman, I think it is a very helpful arrangement.

After given up any hope of being able to transition without being a prime recruit for a Jerry Springer episode, I figured I'll try the next best thing. That was to help make life a bit more pleasent for transwomen. (BTW we are talking late 70's early 80's) Living just outside New York City made finding others a bit simplier.

One woman I dated for a few months. She was basically a "kept woman" by some rich NYC doctor I think she said he was. Another woman I dated for quite some time while also having a relationship with a GG in NJ where I live. In hopes for a "normal" life I eventually dropped the TS girl who was never going to get super serious and married and such. But we stayed friends. As life would have it after a couple of years we started up again. Again we stopped. A few years later I was able to once again worm myself into her heart. The third time was a charm. 25 or more years later we are still together  ;D

In my TG group about 8 years back two of the members  eventually got married. Currently two of our members are in a relationship. One is fully transitioned the other is working towards it.

Several people in our support group date (though I'm not sure who met who where). There are genderqueer folks dating transmen and so on. I like your post Brooke  (others too). It's kind of what I was thinking. We haven't talked about things so much as she hasn't been around. I don't know who makes more, but logically we could do more together if there wasn't a money issue involved.

I am not sure if she sees me as a guy at this point, which might be interesting as time goes on as right now I am pre-everything.

It is such a huge thing in my life, it's not that I wouldn't date a cisperson, but I feel that there are experiences we have that a cisperson won't ever have.

Thanks for the responses.

--Jay J

Damn.  Maybe I should join a support group.  Then maybe I could find some one to date. 

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on November 12, 2012, 06:14:18 PM
Damn.  Maybe I should join a support group.  Then maybe I could find some one to date.

:)  Don't knock it unless you've tried it. I met her at the group too.
We have a kind of mixed group that just about everyone goes to.
I'm just a happy guy right now.


--Jay J

My boyfriend of 4+ years turns out may be a MTF or at least feels somewhat trans. When we met he was sure he was 100% "normal cis" but now, we aren't so sure. Like you said it takes a very open minded person to accept this and probably someone "gender fluid" would be less judgmental?

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on November 12, 2012, 06:14:18 PM
Damn.  Maybe I should join a support group.  Then maybe I could find some one to date.

I actually met my guy at the support group I go to.

Quote from: Brooke777 on November 13, 2012, 08:47:22 AM
I actually met my guy at the support group I go to.

Good stuff huh?  :)

--Jay J

Quote from: aleon515 on November 13, 2012, 07:58:22 PM
Good stuff huh?  :)

--Jay J

I'm happy  ;D ;D

Well, there's nothing weird about a trans person dating another trans person. Certainly less so than a trans person dating a cis person in society's eyes. Anywho, maybe you can be a little chivalrous; ladies don't mind if you open a door for them (unless they're feminazis).

One of my friends told me why he opens doors for ladies: Because he likes the rear view.  :laugh:

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on November 12, 2012, 06:14:18 PM
Damn.  Maybe I should join a support group.  Then maybe I could find some one to date.

I'm seeing a trans-woman I met at a support group...may have just gotten lucky, because I am NOT consistent in attendance (she is, though).

WhileI don't see us as romantic yet, we are *very* close friends.

So mark me as +1 for support groups.

:)

Quote from: DianaP on November 13, 2012, 08:36:28 PM
One of my friends told me why he opens doors for ladies: Because he likes the rear view.  :laugh:

I call that a fringe benefit of being a hopless romantic

I don't think it is weird-- well unless I am weird. Oh gee maybe I don't want to go there. :)
Love, puppy love, or even a good strong like, is nothing to sneeze at.

I don't know re: what women might like as I never was one-- was socialized-- and never liked how I was socialized. I hate all the doors opening and so on, and I still get this as I don't actually pass.

Happy? I'm like a happy little school boy. :)


--Jay J