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Title: Hello My name is Vicki I am a daughter of a trangendered father
Post by: techgoddess on November 20, 2012, 05:51:04 PM
Post by: techgoddess on November 20, 2012, 05:51:04 PM
Hello My name is vicki and i am 21 years old 3 years ago i found out my father was transgendered. It was quite a shock, there are times i just dont know what to do, i love him, but sometimes he just seems so different! I am just very confused!
Title: Re: Hello My name is Vicki I am a daughter of a trangendered father
Post by: V M on November 20, 2012, 06:08:34 PM
Post by: V M on November 20, 2012, 06:08:34 PM
Hi Vicki :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, have you had a chance to visit our Significant Others talk (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,26.0.html) area?
Please be sure to review
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, have you had a chance to visit our Significant Others talk (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,26.0.html) area?
Please be sure to review
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: Hello My name is Vicki I am a daughter of a trangendered father
Post by: Constance on November 20, 2012, 06:18:19 PM
Post by: Constance on November 20, 2012, 06:18:19 PM
Hi Vicki,
Your situation is quite similar to the one my own kids faced recently, and my daughter is nearly 21 (my son is 23). I'll contact her about this thread. She's also on Susan's and she might have some insights for you.
Your situation is quite similar to the one my own kids faced recently, and my daughter is nearly 21 (my son is 23). I'll contact her about this thread. She's also on Susan's and she might have some insights for you.
Title: Re: Hello My name is Vicki I am a daughter of a trangendered father
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on November 20, 2012, 06:20:00 PM
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on November 20, 2012, 06:20:00 PM
Hi Vicki, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 9023 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another significant other. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
First and foremost always support your father, even if you don't understand. More harm than good can be caused by being non-supportive.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F3%2F32%2FPentacle_1.svg&hash=99e763d33bc5c4d79014cb34bf6acb3dfec8befb)
Welcome to our little family. Over 9023 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another significant other. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
First and foremost always support your father, even if you don't understand. More harm than good can be caused by being non-supportive.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F3%2F32%2FPentacle_1.svg&hash=99e763d33bc5c4d79014cb34bf6acb3dfec8befb)
Title: Re: Hello My name is Vicki I am a daughter of a trangendered father
Post by: Devlyn on November 20, 2012, 06:26:27 PM
Post by: Devlyn on November 20, 2012, 06:26:27 PM
Hi Vicki, welcome from Boston! Just being able to talk about things can be a big help, and you came to the right place for that. It probably took your Dad a long time to come to terms with what he was facing. It might take you awhile, too. See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn
Title: Hello My name is Vicki I am a daughter of a trangendered father
Post by: ashley_thomas on November 20, 2012, 08:23:55 PM
Post by: ashley_thomas on November 20, 2012, 08:23:55 PM
Your feelings are valid, and I hope you can have them in a kind environment in your family. Best wishes and welcome!
Title: Re: Hello My name is Vicki I am a daughter of a trangendered father
Post by: techgoddess on November 20, 2012, 08:29:05 PM
Post by: techgoddess on November 20, 2012, 08:29:05 PM
hello everyone thank you for the warm welcomes :) i hope this board will help me get a little closer to my dad, thats what i truely want. ty all :)
Title: Re: Hello My name is Vicki I am a daughter of a trangendered father
Post by: Charley Bea(EmeraldP) on November 21, 2012, 01:57:33 AM
Post by: Charley Bea(EmeraldP) on November 21, 2012, 01:57:33 AM
Hello Vicki and welcome, hope all works out for you and you find what you are looking for on this site.
Title: Re: Hello My name is Vicki I am a daughter of a trangendered father
Post by: justmeinoz on November 21, 2012, 06:39:50 AM
Post by: justmeinoz on November 21, 2012, 06:39:50 AM
Hello Vicki and welcome.
( I will use male pronouns as you have not said whether your Father wishes to be addressed as She or He)
As a Trans parent of a Trans child I have experienced things from both sides of the fence, and can sympathise with your situation.
The main thing to hold on to is that your Father is still the same person, but is undergoing some major changes. None of them are life threatening in the way that finding he had cancer would have been, so you will not lose him, but I would guess he is scared of losing his family.
He obviously trusts and loves you enough to tell you something that has probably been eating away at him for years, if not all his life. For too many of us the fear of being rejected by our family is such that they would rather live a miserable life, or end it altogether in despair. You have done a great thing by sticking with your Father, even if you don't understand what is happening all that well. There is a lot of information here at Susan's, and also in the community generally nowadays so you can get assistance in understanding the situation from a variety of sources.
Nothing happens in a hurry, and four Dad will be taking things slowly anyway as this is all new to him. Basically you are going to be able to see the real person for the first time, and generally we are a lot nicer to be around. He will still be able to show his masculine side if needed, but you will have another parent who understands you the way that any other woman can, but men rarely do.
Basically just love him for who he is, not what he looks like down the track.
Karen.
PS As I have said to anyone else dealing with your situation, you can PM me anytime.
( I will use male pronouns as you have not said whether your Father wishes to be addressed as She or He)
As a Trans parent of a Trans child I have experienced things from both sides of the fence, and can sympathise with your situation.
The main thing to hold on to is that your Father is still the same person, but is undergoing some major changes. None of them are life threatening in the way that finding he had cancer would have been, so you will not lose him, but I would guess he is scared of losing his family.
He obviously trusts and loves you enough to tell you something that has probably been eating away at him for years, if not all his life. For too many of us the fear of being rejected by our family is such that they would rather live a miserable life, or end it altogether in despair. You have done a great thing by sticking with your Father, even if you don't understand what is happening all that well. There is a lot of information here at Susan's, and also in the community generally nowadays so you can get assistance in understanding the situation from a variety of sources.
Nothing happens in a hurry, and four Dad will be taking things slowly anyway as this is all new to him. Basically you are going to be able to see the real person for the first time, and generally we are a lot nicer to be around. He will still be able to show his masculine side if needed, but you will have another parent who understands you the way that any other woman can, but men rarely do.
Basically just love him for who he is, not what he looks like down the track.
Karen.
PS As I have said to anyone else dealing with your situation, you can PM me anytime.