Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey everyone. I know it's been a long time since I was last here. Just to update you I'm currently living as male, about 3/4 of the people in my life are aware of this and have accepted it fully but I'm still not back at the gender clinic yet due to other mental health issues.

Anyway I've been feeling pretty pissed off today. My name has been changed at my doctors and I was now a "Mr" which felt great. However recently I noticed it has been changed to "Ms". I didn't say anything at first. I thought it must be a typo but today at the doctors I noticed I was still "Ms". I asked my doctor if they could change it but she said they couldn't. The reason being that if I was a "Mr" I wouldn't be able to go for any smear tests (which I think happens when you turn 25) so I still had to a have a female title. They said it was fine to have my male name (which is a unisex name) but I had to be a "Ms". I know for some this may only be a small problem but it's really upset me. I pass for male now but I can still pass for female. Everyone I meet assumes I am male but the moment they hear my female name (which usually happens as my family usually call me it) then they suddenly realise "Oh, he must be a she then."
I went to pick up my prescriptions and the woman called me "Miss Hunter" which really made me feel bad. It's just annoying. I mean if I was on T and I looked more male and had a decent beard they'd probably think it was a misprint and call me "Mr" and that would be fine but as I just look like a cute boy at the moment I'm gonna get called "Ms" or "Miss". Again I know in the long run it's only a small problem and means nothing but it's taken me years to get to where I am and little things like this just knock my confidence and leaves me feeling like I'm still at square one.
Anyway I just wanted to get that off my chest.
Cheers.

I'm not a lawyer, but if it's upsetting you so much, you should insist that your doctor change your title on their records. If they need to have you as female somewhere in their records so they can provide services, that's understandable - but they cannot make your trans status known to anyone else as doing so would put you at risk of harassment and/or discrimination.

Are they trying to tie your title to their need to list your gender as female on their computer system? You can't tell me that a female professor or doctor needs to be called 'Miss' on their system so there has to be an 'other' field for people with other titles - just get them to select 'other' and change it to 'Mr'.

Speak (or write) to your Practice Manager and tell them that you are subject to indirect discrimination under the Equality Act 2010 because by giving you a female title on their appointments system and your prescriptions, they are revealing your trans status by gendering you incorrectly in front of other patients and they're also 'outing' you to pharmacists and their customers. That horrible feeling you described? That's harassment, and they have a duty to protect you from it.

Remember to be courteous in your correspondence, because you probably want to maintain a good relationship with the surgery.

Check out the Equality Act 2010, and the Gender Reassignment Act 2004. It's possible that you might need a Gender Recognition Certificate before you can really put your foot down - but mentioning the Equality Act to the Practice Manager should at least get them thinking. Try here for more info: http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/equalities/lgbt/lgbt-law/ (http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/equalities/lgbt/lgbt-law/)

This doesn't always work, but what do you have to lose?

By the way... look out for those smear tests. My surgery gets me to fill in a form beforehand which asks for the "woman's name" and the "woman's date of birth" etc. Sheesh. It's very triggering...

Good to see you again. Was wondering where you were.

Can I suggest, next time, you say to the woman, it's Mr?

In my experience, most people in pharmacies, are more concerned with making sure they give the right prescriptions.

Just say it politiely, but firmly. In the same way as if you ask for 2 bars of choc and are only given one. Ah, thank you, but I asked for two?

Jill, I'm not sure whether you've spotted this... but many UK prescriptions have your title printed with your name at the top. So a busy pharmacist will get it wrong - and may well refuse to give the medications to MRH - until it's changed at the doctor's surgery. ;)

Quote from: MRH on November 22, 2012, 06:47:08 AM
Anyway I've been feeling pretty pissed off today. My name has been changed at my doctors and I was now a "Mr" which felt great. However recently I noticed it has been changed to "Ms". I didn't say anything at first. I thought it must be a typo but today at the doctors I noticed I was still "Ms". I asked my doctor if they could change it but she said they couldn't.

That is completely wrong. Someone at the doctors needs to get their act together. I wrote a simple letter to my GP saying that my name had been changed and I enclosed a copy of the name change document and within weeks I was issued with a new NHS number card with my new name and title on it.

I also received another letter from a different NHS source to tell me that I was not required to present myself for cervical smears.  :o

All my prescriptions and everything else are now issued to Ms Beverley *******

Quote from: FTMDiaries on November 22, 2012, 09:55:00 AM
Jill, I'm not sure whether you've spotted this... but many UK prescriptions have your title printed with your name at the top. So a busy pharmacist will get it wrong - and may well refuse to give the medications to MRH - until it's changed at the doctor's surgery. ;)

Yes, I understand.

But I got the impression this is a regular prescription. I also am on regular prescriptions and I generally get mine from the same Chemist.

But also, if MRH is in the UK then he can ask to be addressed by his proper title. Including the Dr. I'm pretty sure that the claims about needing smeer tests are a load of hooey. Yes he needs them, no, he won't be prevents from having them if he uses the title Mr.

However, the point I was getting at is the presumption that the prescriptions for him. In the UK, when they are ready, the Chemists generally calls out the name on the prescription and expects and gives it to the person who correctly answers some question, usually the address.

Quote from: spacial on November 22, 2012, 10:33:49 AM
But also, if MRH is in the UK then he can ask to be addressed by his proper title. Including the Dr. I'm pretty sure that the claims about needing smeer tests are a load of hooey. Yes he needs them, no, he won't be prevents from having them if he uses the title Mr.

However, the point I was getting at is the presumption that the prescriptions for him. In the UK, when they are ready, the Chemists generally calls out the name on the prescription and expects and gives it to the person who correctly answers some question, usually the address.

I agree - my local Boots calls out first name & surname rather than title; perhaps MRH's pharmacist mostly has an elderly customer base? Or is an older pharmacist? But that's not the point: that stab of dysphoria when someone refers to you as the wrong gender for whatever reason is absolutely heartbreaking.

I believe the real obstacle to using the correct title is most likely a doctor or receptionist who doesn't know how to use their IT system, or maybe even has some form of transphobia. There may be some grain of truth to needing to have a female gender marker for them to access the smear tests etc. but there is no good reason why that should result in needing to have a female title. There's no excuse for what they're doing. It's a simple admin problem and they need to resolve it immediately - hence my recommendation to speak to the Practice Manager.

Heck, the doctors can even hand-write prescriptions if their system won't let them print them correctly. And if MRH has regular prescriptions, he might want to check that the pharmacist has updated their records too. Just in case.

Whats worse is at my doctors they have several computer screens in the reception where your name appears when it's time for you to go in (I imagine this is the same at other doctor surgeries) so everybody in the room will see "Ms". I will occasionally talk to other people who are waiting (mainly elderly people, they like to talk a lot) and so it's embarrassing when they see I am a Ms and not a Mr and when stuff like that happens it hurts.

I was informed that the smear tests are done elsewhere and it was them who informed my GP that I needed to be changed to Ms so really it's out of my doctors hands. I mean by the time I am 25 I will be on T (hopefully) and therefore when I turn up for the smear tests, and I'm clearly a man, what are they gonna say then? I don't really know if it's transphobia or just a lack of understanding.
I suppose I don't mind too much at the chemists because normally they will say my first and last name instead of title and for the short space of time my title was officially "Mr" on their system I would get my contraceptive pill and they didn't ask questions.

I will probably talk about this to my support worker (whom I have for other mental health stuff) and she what she has to say. 

Your doctors need to change their records, and they can't use the excuse of a third-party organisation when they're providing services to you. Your title has changed, and nobody has a right to insist that you must use a different title. This is their admin problem, not yours. If they need to sort out something between themselves and the smear people, they can do that quietly behind-the-scenes without involving you.

You could also contact your local Primary Care Trust, who are responsible for co-ordinating all the NHS services in your area. The contact details are here: http://www.nhs.uk/servicedirectories/Pages/PrimaryCareTrustListing.aspx (http://www.nhs.uk/servicedirectories/Pages/PrimaryCareTrustListing.aspx)

Your PCT will organise your funding for gender therapy etc. so they will be actively involved in your transition. They can advise you on how to ensure that all the services within their Trust use the correct name and title for you, and they will also organise your new NHS number in the correct name. Mine was very helpful when I spoke to them.

Good luck - and I'm sorry they made you feel so bad.

I'm sorry too and really hope it goes well for you.

I haven't used a mental health support worker myself and the institution started after I worked in the NHS. But I did have a good friend who got amazing support from hers.

Good luck and really hope you can get back and say how things are going.