Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Ell on May 04, 2007, 12:48:16 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Accidentally outed myself at work
Post by: Ell on May 04, 2007, 12:48:16 PM
Post by: Ell on May 04, 2007, 12:48:16 PM
i accidentally outed myself at work by making only the most minor of adjustments. I am not sure whether my co-workers think i'm tg, ts, or some other variation of queer, but i don't care, because it's all good -- i'm never going back to being male!
i hadn't realized just how much effort it takes a girl to create and maintain a male persona, male personality, male interests, male aura, and macho mystique. 8 solid hours a day in the workplace, for more than 25 years. i was mentally and emotionally exhausted.
now i can actually use my brain for things that i want to think about; i am freed up to think about my posture (very important), if i'm tired i allow myself to rest a little, but most of all, now i can really allow myself to be totally on, all the time. i love it. thank you susans! now, you are all my susans.
i hadn't realized just how much effort it takes a girl to create and maintain a male persona, male personality, male interests, male aura, and macho mystique. 8 solid hours a day in the workplace, for more than 25 years. i was mentally and emotionally exhausted.
now i can actually use my brain for things that i want to think about; i am freed up to think about my posture (very important), if i'm tired i allow myself to rest a little, but most of all, now i can really allow myself to be totally on, all the time. i love it. thank you susans! now, you are all my susans.
Title: Re: Accidentally outed myself at work
Post by: RebeccaFog on May 04, 2007, 02:41:41 PM
Post by: RebeccaFog on May 04, 2007, 02:41:41 PM
Once you're out, you have nothing to hide. It's gotta feel good.
I'm just curious. What kind of work do you do? And... what did you do that outed yourself?
Hugs,
Rebecca
I'm just curious. What kind of work do you do? And... what did you do that outed yourself?
Hugs,
Rebecca
Title: Re: Accidentally outed myself at work
Post by: Rachel on May 04, 2007, 03:07:21 PM
Post by: Rachel on May 04, 2007, 03:07:21 PM
im also curious what it was that outed you
Title: Re: Accidentally outed myself at work
Post by: Kate on May 04, 2007, 03:11:11 PM
Post by: Kate on May 04, 2007, 03:11:11 PM
Quote from: Ell on May 04, 2007, 12:48:16 PM
i accidentally outed myself at work by making only the most minor of adjustments...
Good lord, I got to the point of wearing women's clothing, long hair, women's shoes, no beard (lasered off), early breasts... and they STILL didn't notice!!!! It drove me CRAZY.
What did you adjust?
How did they react? Was it in a good way? Did anyone say anything?
You might want to consider speaking with management before too long... especially if you're planning on transitioning and/or live in an area that doesn't have laws protecting gender identity or expression.
~Kate~
Title: Re: Accidentally outed myself at work
Post by: Rachel on May 04, 2007, 06:10:45 PM
Post by: Rachel on May 04, 2007, 06:10:45 PM
im worried about christian "morality" myself in the state im transitioning in. I wish you luck.
Title: Re: Accidentally outed myself at work
Post by: RebeccaFog on May 04, 2007, 06:14:03 PM
Post by: RebeccaFog on May 04, 2007, 06:14:03 PM
It sounds like the supervisors are afraid of someone creating an incident.
I would keep doing what you're doing in terms of how you changed your looks. Maybe after a little time, some of them might come around or not feel so strange about it. There's nothing wrong with what you've done. In fact, it sounds just like good grooming. Odd that they would freak out.
Just so you know, I'm an advocate of Trans Pride. So from my point of view you've done the right thing if it makes you feel better about yourself. However, if you believe that you're at risk, I would advise that you be careful about pushing anything further. As I said, at this point, you can argue that you're using grooming tips for men that you read about or saw on Television.
How do you feel about the changes you've made?
How do you feel about the attitudes of the others where you work?
Please let me stress that I am not trying to encourage you to do anything that you feel uncomfortable about doing. It is most important that you take care of yourself. Always be careful.
I would keep doing what you're doing in terms of how you changed your looks. Maybe after a little time, some of them might come around or not feel so strange about it. There's nothing wrong with what you've done. In fact, it sounds just like good grooming. Odd that they would freak out.
Just so you know, I'm an advocate of Trans Pride. So from my point of view you've done the right thing if it makes you feel better about yourself. However, if you believe that you're at risk, I would advise that you be careful about pushing anything further. As I said, at this point, you can argue that you're using grooming tips for men that you read about or saw on Television.
How do you feel about the changes you've made?
How do you feel about the attitudes of the others where you work?
Please let me stress that I am not trying to encourage you to do anything that you feel uncomfortable about doing. It is most important that you take care of yourself. Always be careful.
Title: Re: Accidentally outed myself at work
Post by: Rachel on May 07, 2007, 01:49:19 AM
Post by: Rachel on May 07, 2007, 01:49:19 AM
meh, the will still bother you, no matter how you tone it down, because you did it once
Title: Re: Accidentally outed myself at work
Post by: Jillieann Rose on May 07, 2007, 05:33:49 AM
Post by: Jillieann Rose on May 07, 2007, 05:33:49 AM
Ell just be yourself unless what your doing affects your customers or the the business. Other people do react when you change your appearance. When I shaved off my beard people reacted in all sorts of ways. Some said I looked great other told me I should grow it back and still other just stared and whispered to other coworkers. I had one women not even recognize me that I had work with for over a year. I to began wearing perfume and have thinned my eyebrows. I also wear mostly female slacks. I made those changed over a year ago and everyone seem to accept me know.
Hang in there girl.
Jillieann
Hang in there girl.
Jillieann
Title: Re: Accidentally outed myself at work
Post by: rhonda13000 on May 07, 2007, 06:44:30 AM
Post by: rhonda13000 on May 07, 2007, 06:44:30 AM
No kidding, hon?
More power to you. :)
More power to you. :)