Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm seriously considering eating much less than I should just to stop my period. Because I can't anymore. I just can't live if it happens even just once more. I think this quote from one of my favorite books sums it up: "it's not desiring the fall, it's terror of the flames" because I don't want to be hungry all the time and pass out every now and then but I can't go through that hell again. It's just too hard.
It wouldn't take too much time either I don't think, maybe though. I'm not obese or anything I'm at a healthy level. Just that since I'm too young to get any kind of help it seems to be the only choice I have. I guess I have come to a point where I'm trading physical health for my sanity. Because if it happens, just once more, I mean... I live near a train station and I really wouldn't want to traumatize an operator but jumping infront of them and splash.
I don't know what the point of this post is... just can anybody relate or anything? I just don't know what else to do. I've already waited for years. I can't wait any longer.

I understand the anguish of it completely but there are less drastic routes to take.

There are various forms of birth control that would be easy to obtain with a quick visit to a doctor. You just have to decide if putting more female hormones in to your body for the advantage of no longer having to deal with red death is worth it to you.

If you complain to your doctors about painful, heavy, debilitating bleeding they may refer you for something called ablation, where they basically burn off the lining. Even if yours aren't particularly physically painful tell them it is anyway, exaggerate if you have to, doctors are more likely to see the urgency of fixing something that causes you physical pain rather than mental pain in my experience.

I pestered my doctors for ablation for ages and was eventually referred to a gyno who prescribed me estrogen blockers - he said he would not normally give these to somebody with my problem but seeing as I'm trans and don't want my estrogen anyway it seemed like a better option than having someone burning off my insides.

Not only is starving yourself to rid yourself of shark week really unhealthy - it would also take a very long time for your body to get to that point and you may end up doing yourself damage in other areas before it ever happens. There are things that can be done, don't give up just yet.

davis, Jeatyn does a good job of giving you some possible ways to go.  I don't like the idea of taking any of the female hormones that delay or decrease the number of periods one has.  I don't want any of the possible side effects of these meds.  I like the idea of taking an E blocker will have to look into have.  Being only 22 getting ablation would be very difficult for me I think.  I get such dsyphsia with mine every month can't wait for them to end.

I did that at one point, not completely on purpose but it did stop my periods. The thing is, it also made me look super feminine. I lost all muscle tone, my face thinned out to a more female shape, and i couldn't pass at all anymore. Don't do it. It's really a bad idea.
You should talk to your doctor about maybe going on depo provera. It's a birth control that doesnt add female hormones. It won't stop your periods right away but it will probably stop them before lack of eating does. I also agree with jeatyn, tell your doctor you are in a lot of physical pain. I don't normally suggest lying to doctors but this is a case where it's a good idea.

Another idea to add to these posts is exercise!  I think you know starving yourself is unhealthy.  But exercise is very healthy.  And it seems it actually doesn't take that much exercise to stop your period.  I never did it, but my sister used to bike about 8-10 miles almost everyday and her period stopped completely and didn't come back until she stopped exercising that much.

It may be hard work if you're not in that great of shape (like me).  But just think of all the side effects of exercising like that: you'd be in great shape, you'd feel good in general, you'd be healthy.  Whereas the side effects of not eating are pretty much the opposite.  Not eating could leave you feeling more depressed.  Exercising will help your mood lift as well, even if just a little.  And with a lighter mood, maybe you can better cope.

Hope it helps.

Don't starve yourself. You'll likely only be hospitalized and if you don't want to traumatize some train conductor, don't traumatize your family and friends by essentially dying a slow and painful death.  :(

I tried this and it didn't work. Made me pretty sick and still got my montly doom. Needless to say don't try it.

The one time I missed my monthly was because I was so sick (I had some weird flu bug) I didn't eat barely anything for about 2 weeks. (I think I barely grazed chips and a half a sandwich + tea for that period of time) By the end of it I was almost in the hospital. I would have taken a period over that. At least with a period I would have been able to move around and walk, see friends and go places rather than lay in bed and feel awful all day. I'm surprised that didn't damage my body or something worse.

I'll reiterate what Jeatyn said about birth control pills. My last visit to the gyno my doctor told me about a birth control pill that can reduce you to only having your period 1 week out of the year. Idk if it would be worth it to you, but it is probably better than starving yourself.

Really bad idea. Not only for your health but the other issues it could cause you. Doctors are VERY leery about HRT and SRS for trans people with emotional issues. Don't jeopardize your health and your transition...a little blood isn't worth it.

There are some great options upthread that will sort out your problem in a healthy way.  Don't starve yourself - you don't need to.  Depo Provera and the Mirena IUD will both stop your periods, although the IUD will mean a gyno visit. 

It is also possible to use estrogen/progestogen pills to stop your period, but if you do that on a regular basis you'll end up in the emergency room if my friend's experience is anything to go by.  And the level of estrogen in those pills will screw you up; trust me, I speak from experience.  Be sure to insist on a birth control method that doesn't involve any estrogen!

What about estrogen blockers? I've seen other people talk about those. I would figure that would stop that stuff because it can't happen if there's not the right amount of estrogen.

Quote from: Mosaic dude on November 29, 2012, 04:45:20 PM
the Mirena IUD will both stop your periods, although the IUD will mean a gyno visit.

I have had a Mirena in me since the end of 2008. Now this is MY experience with it...doesn't mean it would happen to anyone else.

The Good:

It stopped my period.

The Bad:

It does not stop the cramping associated with menstruation.

It is very uncomfortable while it "settles" in your uterus.

There is a chance they can pierce the walls of your uterus.

For about a year after I had it put in orgasms were painful (I have muscle spasms with orgasm).

Mine was installed (for lack of a better word) in me during a right oopho I had in 2008. I am part of a Government research program for my genetic illness and they used me as a guinea pig. They removed the first ovary and tube because of a tumor but refused to give me a complete hysto at the time. They wanted to see if they removed the androgen causing tumor if I would no longer be trans. Obviously that didn't work, I grew another tumor, and now everything has to come out.

If you want to stop your period bad enough then go for it. I have one but wish I would have known the common complications that are associated with them.

Quote from: davis on November 29, 2012, 04:36:25 AM
I'm seriously considering eating much less than I should just to stop my period. Because I can't anymore. I just can't live if it happens even just once more. I think this quote from one of my favorite books sums it up: "it's not desiring the fall, it's terror of the flames" because I don't want to be hungry all the time and pass out every now and then but I can't go through that hell again. It's just too hard.

I know it seems tempting, and I know the feeling you're talking about with that quote (I might have to steal it to describe that time in my life if I have to again), but not eating isn't a case of just being really hungry and occasionally passing out.  I've known someone who was struggling with anorexia, and yeah, she wasn't deathly bad or anything, but it wasn't pretty.  Her hair was falling out, she was constantly cold (we would spend our lunchtimes in the bathroom because she could stand under the hand drier and next to one of the only radiators that worked in our school because she was so cold) probably because it screwed up her circulation, her fingernails went weird -- I can't remember how now -- and apparently she was at risk of losing them.  Her grades dropped, she was an A* student, but she ended up getting a couple of Bs I think in the exams that she took at her worst points, and that was unheard of for her.  She also had to quit swimming, and she was one of the best in her age range at the time, and she'll probably never get back to the level she was at again.

Quite a few years ago, I think it was 2008-9, I stopped eating as much as I could get away with because I was disgusted with my body.  It wasn't so much that I saw myself as 'fat' but I hated all the places that fat gathers when it's in an estrogen run system (thighs, hips, ect).  I wanted rid of those because I thought that it meant I was unhealthy, because why should it be okay for me to accept the 'female' body fat ratio when the 'men' have a lower one, did it mean that I was taking the easy option out?  This was before I realised I was trans, so I didn't really 'get' that my estrogen run body needed the extra couple of percent of fat to run properly.  I can't remember much of that time, but I do remember that I pulled myself together and ate properly again because I had a burn on the back of my hand that was getting infected.  It was slightly green, pussy and showing no signs of healing after probably a week and a half despite being bandaged and disinfected and treated exactly how it should be.  The school nurse knew that it wasn't something I wanted my parents knowing about, but she also knew that it would need more treatment than she could give if it got any worse, and told me on a Friday that if it wasn't any better by the Monday she would call my parents and take me to the doctor (we spend 50% of the time blackmailing each other).  So I gave eating a try.  By the Tuesday I had the bandages off.  What would have happened if I'd not started eating?  I'm not too sure, but worst case scenario: potentially fatal septicemia.

Quote
It wouldn't take too much time either I don't think, maybe though. I'm not obese or anything I'm at a healthy level.

Everyone's bodies different, but it would.  It wouldn't be a 'quick fix' at all.  You've got to get down to a very low body fat level for this to work.

Quote
Just that since I'm too young to get any kind of help it seems to be the only choice I have. I guess I have come to a point where I'm trading physical health for my sanity. Because if it happens, just once more, I mean... I live near a train station and I really wouldn't want to traumatize an operator but jumping in front of them and splash.

I don't know your age, and I'm assuming you're below 18 so you're not allowed to post your age on here, but there are things that you can do to stop them.  Birth control, hormone blockers, etc.  You'd need to way up the pro's and con's of each and see what's accessible to you, because there will be a better way than starving yourself to death.  Heck, I'm personally seriously repulsed by the idea of sticking more female hormones than I've already got into me, but I'd take that over the effects of not eating, your body basically starts to devour itself, first the fat reserves, then the muscles and then your organs just fail.

You say you don't want to traumatise a train driver, but it's more than that, you're traumatising anyone who sees, your family, and more so using that method, they would have to ID your mangled body.  And tbh, starving yourself is really just another form of suicide, just a slower one.  Even if you are only considering this for that reason the obsession with counting calories and obsessing over your food intake/exercise regimes can still really take a hold and that's hard to get out of.  Trust me.

Quote
I don't know what the point of this post is... just can anybody relate or anything? I just don't know what else to do. I've already waited for years. I can't wait any longer.

I can relate.  Ugh.  Today.  All you can do really is try and zone out of it as best you can.  I don't know what type of stuff you use to deal with it, or underwear you wear, but I've found that pads plus two pairs of tight underwear work the best for me.  (I can't cope with sticking things inside me.  Nope.  Not happening.)  It helps stop you feeling anything, and maybe it's just me because I have a crazy sense of smell -- I can smell when I have matches in my trouser pocket for example -- but it stops me being able to tell it's happening that way.

Quote from: Mosaic dude on November 29, 2012, 04:45:20 PM
It is also possible to use estrogen/progestogen pills to stop your period, but if you do that on a regular basis you'll end up in the emergency room if my friend's experience is anything to go by.

I'm not sure what's going on with your friend there, our school was recommended oral birth control pills as one of the best methods of contraception and they wouldn't have done that if it wasn't safe.  They recommend having an "off" week, but I was told it's not necessary to carry that out, apparently some women just like it.  I also know several people who are on oral birth control for medical reasons, ones anemic for example, and she's had no health problems from it.  My mother was on it for quite a while I think when she was younger because she was trying not to have me (they have about a 1:100 fail rate when used as contraception).

I think the main problem for trans people is just the fact that you're adding female hormones to your body, and that's just... urgh.

QuoteI'm not sure what's going on with your friend there, our school was recommended oral birth control pills as one of the best methods of contraception and they wouldn't have done that if it wasn't safe.  They recommend having an "off" week, but I was told it's not necessary to carry that out, apparently some women just like it.

It doesn't matter if you skip the "off" week from time to time, but she skipped it every time for quite a while - she hates periods nearly as much as I do.  Apparently her system really did not like skipping it for so long, and the doctor said that it's bad for the body to always skip it.  The pills are very safe (and very reliable), it was the way she was taking them that caused the problem.  It may also have been the way the pills interacted with her body, these things can have very different effects on different people.

I used to take some tablets to stop your period. They were made of Northisterone which is a man made progesterone, which I guess has a lot to do with female hormones. I took the tablets every night for about a year and I didnt notice any feminine changes. Maybe they didnt happen or maybe I am really bad at noticing?  :-\

Any way, I stopped taking them every day because I think they just "wore off" after about 6 months (but Ive heard that sort of thing can happen when your on testosterone, sometimes your period will come back randomly after not having it for a couple of months, hmm). Now I just use them to control when I want my period to come (I think thats their main purpose anyway) which is a little bit nicer because the worst part was having it ruin a holiday or something fun! If you can get estrogen blockers maybe you could ask your doctor about something like this? But please dont starve your self!

Thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate them. My parents aren't really supportive so I can't get hormone blockers or any sort of pills really. So it is what it is. And Alex000000 I can't um... stick anything in either I just spend the days hoping it's stressful enough so my brain will block the memories out.

Quote from: davis on November 30, 2012, 08:36:15 AM
Thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate them. My parents aren't really supportive so I can't get hormone blockers or any sort of pills really. So it is what it is. And Alex000000 I can't um... stick anything in either I just spend the days hoping it's stressful enough so my brain will block the memories out.

Do they do over the counter pills where you are? If you're desperate enough to take them then that might be a possibility, your parents wouldn't need to know. I'm going to look into how feminising they can be when I get home (I'm on the train atm because I can't cope with this while being at college anymore. It's too painful physically and mentally.)

I just deny it ever happening so I can't work myself up over it happening because I don't know in advance when it does (I freaked myself out once because I had (protected) PIV sex but completely blanked having them after that and thought I'd not had one for three months. Luckly my ex remembered having to deal with my emotional meltdown over them!) It did mean that I managed to totally convince myself it wasn't happening when I woke up this morning and ended up completely unprepared and was forced to lie to my mates about having to buy baking goods for my mother so I could go to the shop alone.

I completely feel your pain with this today.

I tried this, it didn't work. The other way to get rid of the bleeding is to get into a really deep depression, so deep that it feels like lying down on the bottom of the ocean being pressed down by dark waters. That way, your body will shut down most of its functions just because you're so messed-up anyway. It's not a good way but it skipped three months for me when I felt this way.

When I was younger, I wanted to starve myself until I was basically a walking skeleton with some skin because I'd heard that very starved women would grow facial hair and increased body hair to keep warm and compensate for the lack of fat that might have warmed them otherwise, and it would also get rid of the flesh sacks on my chest, my hips, and that. It didn't work. My mother has had problems with food too and watching her feel bad was awful.

Please, please, don't starve yourself or die. Anything but that. Would your parents be against you getting blockers or pills if you said that your cramps are horrible and you simply cannot deal with them (i.e leave out the trans stuff when talking to them and maybe exaggerate the pain a bit)? Also, please keep in mind that this won't be forever. There will come better days, there will come change. Maybe not today, but one day.

QuoteMy parents aren't really supportive so I can't get hormone blockers or any sort of pills really.

Sorry to hear that, dude.  That's rough.  Is it medical stuff they don't support or just the trans thing?  Because you can get things like norethisterone for reasons completely unrelated to your gender identity.  I take norethisterone, which Harlee mentioned, because for me it's that or debilitating pain and 14 days of bleeding.  Exaggerate your symptoms and they will prescribe that stuff without ever getting into the real reason you need the meds.  You may also find norethisterone balances out your estrogen a bit; it does for me.

If your parents are anti allopathic medicine that will be more of a problem, but I would think you should be able to get your doctor to prescribe without telling your parents.  Where I live, doctors can't tell your parents because it's a breach of patient confidence.

Quote from: JohnAlex on November 29, 2012, 02:36:30 PM
Another idea to add to these posts is exercise!  I think you know starving yourself is unhealthy.  But exercise is very healthy.  And it seems it actually doesn't take that much exercise to stop your period.  I never did it, but my sister used to bike about 8-10 miles almost everyday and her period stopped completely and didn't come back until she stopped exercising that much.

It may be hard work if you're not in that great of shape (like me).  But just think of all the side effects of exercising like that: you'd be in great shape, you'd feel good in general, you'd be healthy.  Whereas the side effects of not eating are pretty much the opposite.  Not eating could leave you feeling more depressed.  Exercising will help your mood lift as well, even if just a little.  And with a lighter mood, maybe you can better cope.

Hope it helps.

by exercise, how many jumps?
I am young and it has been just 1 yr since they started and although i dont let any1 else feel that i am worried about them i do not like them
there was a picnic n i was just praying to god plz dont let them happen tomorrow.............and they didnt. mine arent regular as i am already depression-affected. but they do come. as i am young i cant take any medicine. and if thru exercise they do stop what should i tell 2 my mom?
i have less weight than that of my age not 2 much healthy 2. n i know why.

If your parents won't help you get any type of birth control pills, you can go to planned parenthood, they're all over.  The will give you the pills for FREE. As far as shotsor iud that they won't do:( good luck