Susan's Place Transgender Resources

i don't know from where to start , i'm ftm not on T yet all my childhood i didn't have friends because of my problem (transgender) i'am little bit naive and i always have this problem when i talk ..people are like '' mens dont talk that way ,or mens dont say this words '' you know i never have friends i act like a men ...it just  guys in my age use some words...and i'am so sensitive you know i hope you anderstand what i'am trying to say sorry for my bad english i'am waiting for ur replies guys
peace.

I have had that problem too. It is a long process...having to swap your whole vocabulary for things that are "acceptable" for a man to say. You don't -HAVE- to change anything about you if you don't want, but if you want to talk like a man, I have some tips.

First, don't talk nearly as much. That was my problem--I'm a chatter box. Men are very direct and will say "This did this." Women are more inclined to say, "I think this did this." Men are sure even if they're not (if you understand what I mean.) At home with my boyfriend, I'm very talkative, but in public I switch to "man mode." I also do a lot less smiling, and my smiling is a lot more soft. It helps me pass, but everyone has their own way.

I say "man" a lot more than normal (but unless you wanna look like a tool, don't say "bro"). Guys will say "Hey, man." Girls will say, "Hi!" It's little things like that. Just people-watch around and see how boys talk, how they stand, what inflection they make. Talking like a boy isn't just lowering your voice! :P

Good luck Jossef.

seb thankx a lot men for your  reply and advices that really helps thank you bro.

Anytime man!

Quote from: jossef-ftm on December 04, 2012, 11:33:08 AM
i don't know from where to start , i'm ftm not on T yet all my childhood i didn't have friends because of my problem (transgender) i'am little bit naive and i always have this problem when i talk ..people are like '' mens dont talk that way ,or mens dont say this words ''

I tend to expand what I am talking about with women but be more direct around men. Women like details and are more descriptive of situations and objects. Men are cut and dry...just wanting the big picture not the details. If it has to also do with the way you speak try to be more monotone. Women use inflection at the end of their sentences. Men are one tone all the way through.

simon thank you bro.

Quote from: jossef-ftm on December 04, 2012, 02:50:20 PM
simon thank you bro.

No problem, man.

Just talk however you want to talk. Having to over-think every little detail is not only annoying, but will make you seem as though you're being fake.

If anything, once you finish transition, people will probably only think you're a gay guy rather than a girl.  :laugh:

and there is the body language and mannerism. Men stand side by side when they are talking to each other (kind of making a common front), for them face to face with another man means confrontation.

Quote from: DianaP on December 04, 2012, 04:18:51 PM
Just talk however you want to talk. Having to over-think every little detail is not only annoying, but will make you seem as though you're being fake.

If anything, once you finish transition, people will probably only think you're a gay guy rather than a girl.  :laugh:

DianeP beat me to it.

I keep seeing guys on hear talk about talking monotone and losing certain inflections, but some people just aren't wired to do that.  I'm not and I have no intention of changing how I talk other than lowering my voice.  Yeah, it might make it difficult to pass, but I'd rather that than change who I am to please others.  I talk a lot, I gesture, and I use a lot of different tones. 

[And I have the stereotypical gay male behaviors.]

But, I'm a-okay with that.  I want to be me.  So, I'd say do that and things will probably get better as transitioning continues. :)

Yes, I agree people should be who they are comfortable being.

I wasn't saying this guy should change his mannerisms. He asked for advice and I gave it. If he could use some things to his advantage to make his life easier until he gets on hormones then I see no problems with it. Obviously, he is not happy being viewed as he is now and wants to alter how people view him.

Sometimes it seems like the "don't change brigade" is just as bad as the "you need to change brigade".

Before someone says I'm upset, I'm not. I just think people should be able to seek advice without others telling them not to. If someone asks for advice I'll give it. They can decide what to do with it from there.

Quote from: Arawn Gabriel on December 04, 2012, 05:47:41 PM
DianeP beat me to it.

Why in heck do people keep calling me Diane?  >:(

Quote from: Simon on December 04, 2012, 05:57:04 PM
Before someone says I'm upset, I'm not. I just think people should be able to seek advice without others telling them not to. If someone asks for advice I'll give it. They can decide what to do with it from there.

I understand your point, but I think that what we said constitutes as advice too, technically. We just advise them not to change for others.  ???

Quote from: DianaP on December 04, 2012, 06:09:46 PM
Why in heck do people keep calling me Diane?  >:(

I understand your point, but I think that what we said constitutes as advice too, technically. We just advise them not to change for others.  ???

I've been up since 5 am and have dealt with 150 kids. :P  I didn't see the 'a', I'm sorry.

My advice is primarily to do with what's comfortable for you.  Yes, it might live with getting misgendered until able to pass better, but sometimes that's better than changing yourself to fit other people's standards.  But to each their own.

Agreed, Simon. I say "don't change if you don't want to, buuuut here is my advice." Obviously, if you're not going to change some things, you're probably not going to pass as well. If you don't care, well that's how you feel. But personally I would love to get read as a cis male as much as humanly possible.

Quote from: DianaP on December 04, 2012, 06:09:46 PM
Why in heck do people keep calling me Diane?  >:(

Because you are now in grigolandia woman!

Quote from: Arawn Gabriel on December 04, 2012, 06:12:53 PM
I've been up since 5 am and have dealt with 150 kids. :P  I didn't see the 'a', I'm sorry.

I was just messing with you.  :laugh:

Diana, I spent a few minutes and came up with these from various posts:
what Develyn said!
Hi, Develyn
Develyn, ummm yep. 
A Video for Develyn 
Hello Develyn Marie
Devlynn - Christmas in the forces
doesn't work, ask Devlynn
do know that after Devlynn has the funds
as long as Devlynn stops cutting in

And my personal favourite:  Addressing Vevlyn Marie

It happens! Hugs, Devlyn

Devalynn and Dianna are just too picky...pffft, lol.  ;D

Hahaha, the only thing to ever happen with my name was when I came out to my high school best friend, she said "Oh, you're not gonna spell Sebastian with an accent like some douchebag, are you?" :P

Quote from: Simon on December 04, 2012, 07:08:56 PM
Devalynn and Dianna are just too picky...pffft, lol.  ;D

Oh, Simmons, whatever are we going to do with you? Hugs, Devlyn

I know that it's against the rules to derail threads, but y'all make it too easy.  :laugh:

Anywho, I have tried to maintain my cover (like a spy  :P) by hiding my more girly characteristics, and I must say that it's annoying! Having to think, "Is this manly enough?" 24/7 and always have to "correct" myself is just too much work, and I'm too lazy to accomplish it.

What I've learned by letting my "girly" side out more is that no one cares about how you act. If people know that you're a biological male and you look like a male and you don't let anyone know of your trans status, then guess what?: people will think you're a male. Same applies to you, just replace the gendered words to match your situation. My two cents.

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on December 04, 2012, 07:13:36 PM
Oh, Simmons, whatever are we going to do with you? Hugs, Devlyn

I've had people say Simon as Simmon or Simone at doctor's offices and the DMV. I just give them the "are you really THAT dumb" look, lol.

Quote from: Seb on December 04, 2012, 07:11:32 PM
Hahaha, the only thing to ever happen with my name was when I came out to my high school best friend, she said "Oh, you're not gonna spell Sebastian with an accent like some douchebag, are you?" :P

I was thisclose to being Sebastian. Used it for about a year when I worked at a Starbucks inside a Barnes & Noble. People called me "Bastian" and my mom hated it. She said it sounded like a certain curse word I can't say or Devlyn will beat me up, lol.

Hahah that's so funny!! I get called "Seb" by almost everyone, except my neighbors call me "Sebab."
I've just loved this name since I was a little kid.
(Also sorry to hijack this post!)