Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I was unaware that your favorites list on youtube was open to the public, and now kids at my school (who googled me for some reason) know that I'm trans because they saw my favorites list!! I'm just so darn frustrated, and I can't help but cry. I wanted to come out when I was ready, but youtube did that against my wishes.

I asked them not to spread the info around, but I don't know how much high school kids can be trusted. Gosh, I feel so stupid!

Damn, that sucks, I've almost been outed by not clearing my history and leaving my computer logged in with browser open. It just happened that my brother wanted to quickly search something that day. (Normally nobody uses my computer)

This could be seen as a blessing in disguise, often times I find myself becoming more reckless and I'm aware of it, I guess I figure it's easier if it just all comes out spontaneously rather than build up the courage myself.

Also it's quite possible they won't tell anyone, or if they do, no one will think much of it and just wait till you come out.

May I suggest you rise above it. They are kids. Kids do that sort of thing.

It's happened. Be the same person you always were and never mention it again.

If one of the kids does, then they are only saying what they all know so their motive is to provolk.

If adult says anything, just work past it.

Anything you post in the internet is there forever -even after the accounts are deleted- So, do not have any account with your real name, use a different avatar and email for each site.

Diana, a hug to you. It's tough when everyone knows you're different.

There are upsides to being outed. You don't need to pretend anymore and people who truly care will understand you better.

Quote from: agfrommd on December 09, 2012, 09:48:19 AM
Diana, a hug to you. It's tough when everyone knows you're different.

There are upsides to being outed. You don't need to pretend anymore and people who truly care will understand you better.

^ This. And hugs.

I'm sorry for the distress, Diana. Perhaps this thread will help someone else avoid a similar situation, though. We all have to exercise a certain amount of caution in what we put on the Internet and be prepared to deal with possible reactions.

I can say that it isn't necessary to use one's real name or other identification to open a YouTube account, though. I've got at least two, myself. Also, any Google Mail account can quickly be carried over to become a YouTube account with a few clicks. You can have as many Gmail accounts as you want. Google only gets picky with their new Google+ social media site, where they want everyone to use their real name.

I hope you manage to turn this experience into something positive for the long term. It certainly opens a door for some enlightenment for some young minds.

~ Lyric ~

I am sooo sorry hon, do not let this get to you.
Maybe this is in a way better since you don't need to be someone else anymore.

Or even if you do choose to want to stay in the closet - you could simply ignore it and dismiss them as the rumors they are.

  I noticed that first up.  I do not list my trans faves on my YouTube page, even though most others know of my situation.  Facebook is the worst here.  I am not on that.  At my age, it may not be too much different if I did list those faves.  In high school this is a different matter. 
  A lot of us and in the Susan's rules both state that it is not a good idea to divulge much here, much less elsewhere, especially if you are young!  There are too many students out there who are bullied and a lot of marriages and jobs lost due to someone else divulging this info to people you are particularly not fond of as a result. 

  Joelene

That really sucks. It is a tricky thing when putting stuff up on the internet... through the years I've become much more open on it though. I think I just finally realized that if anyone gives a crap about what I say or like, that is their own problem. If they are going to judge you based on that, they were not truly your friends to begin with. Since it sounds like it will be spreading through the school, I can see your problem though. Perhaps you will make some new, better friends in all of this? Friends that know the real you and support you. Or you could just tell the folks at school that you're not a close minded d-bag and you fully support the trans community - but are not a member of it? There are many different courses to take, and while the situation may seem rough  now, it will pass and things will get better. Good luck, hun!!

I only have my school e-mail account, so that's how they figured it out despite me not using my real name. I didn't know anything about computers or the internet since I come from the poorer parts of Ecuador and only started using a computer when I was 16.

Thanks for the replies, everyone. It means a lot to know that someone cares.  :)

I think this is the real reason why I stayed away from ever using Facebook and the reason why I'll have to stop using Youtube. I don't recall if I have anything in my favorites on Youtube but I'm about to go double check on my main account right now and I'll have to remember to use Incognito mode for any further viewing.

Quote from: Hannahbellelecker on December 09, 2012, 08:09:08 PM
ALWAYS ALWAYS clear your viewing history as well on YT accounts as well. Whatever videos you stream while being logged in can also be seen by public. YT has really taken a turn for the worst when it comes to their new changes.

Well, I know that NOW. I'll let you all know how things turn out later if you're curious.

No way you can change the past so try to use it to your advantage. I realise that may sound easier said than done  but kids are very use to social networks and many adults are not.

And stop worrying and use to to your advantage.

And that's when I made my historial and favorites private. Too many videos about make up, voice, transition timelines...

Now that I've had a chance to play with Youtube a little more I'm noticing a few more things I'm not happy with...

Seems like Youtube wants to force YTP's down everyone's throat in order to help drum up more money. The old "trending" videos or "what's popular" seems to be completely missing unless you log out of your Youtube / Google account.

I think one of the things that's saved me from accidentally outing myself (someone would have to look directly at my Youtube account because I'm not linked to Twitter or Facebook) is that I'm never really logged into Youtube. I haven't setup my Youtube account at all, I'm just getting auto logged in through Google. But still, my history and stuff is what depicts the "what's recommended for you" list and if I accidentally forget to go into Incognito Mode through Firefox those types of vids will be in my list for gods knows how long.

Sucks. 

Well, everything wasn't so bad. Everyone in my school knows now (amazing how the only thing that can get done quickly in my school is the spread of gossip  :P).

However, only 2 people gave me any trouble, one of which is getting suspended for trying to assault me. I'm not ashamed to say that I did defend myself. I won't go into detail, but he deserved everything he got.

Everyone else was delightful or didn't say anything about the matter. Some of my female classmates even gave me some clothes.  ;D

Hi,

Emails are free and their are many places yu can get an email.    Gmail, Hotmail, yahoo, etc.  Being a  transgender female, I know there is a lot of fear until you out yourself about how you will be treated by others.    The hardest one to out yourself to is yourself.    I guess the hardest responses for me were the ones, I didn't expect.    I expected when I went out in public as myself, I would get a lot of looks of disapproval.    I didn't expect acceptance.    What I found is that, I just got a lot of indifference or avoidance.    When I opened up and talked to people for the most part I didn't get negativity,  but I was not sure if they thought of me as being either male or female except in a few instances. 

From younger gets I get, "is that a" looks at times.   But now my young son's friends come around for me to fill up air in their bike tires or footballs, and I am just the person who helps them out.   I don't dress male any more, ever.

I guess you are going to find out what kind of a place you go to school in, if word gets around that you are trans.   You will find out what your reality really is instead of what you fear it to be.     I imagine it will be a mixture of the good, the bad, and the ugly and the just plain puzzling.     People may be looking to you to find out how you want to be treated.    They may be waiting for you to let them know if you are a male or a female.

But as a young person you will be deciding how you will live out your future and developing your legal status , rather than being an old person like me trying to decide how to integrate my present with my past especially since all of my legal past, 66 years, has the male stamp on it and the locations of these records are dispersed for lots of reasons.

You tube is a loose cannon,  and there are lots of assumptions people can make from your favorites list.   Your being transgender may well be the best assumption.    The others could be down right weird depending upon the mental state and life experiences of the people reading your preferences.   

Me coming from small town rural America, my life's experience is to tell people a little more than they really want to know or their imaginations will  run wild.   In the world I grew up in the rumors and stories spread about you which were based upon ignorance were always worse than what was really going on.

Kids these days are used to having both male and female avatars on the games they play so many of them may not read anything into your you tube favorites.

My view of middle school and high school life these days is, its like you are a bronc rider in the rodeo,   trying to stay astride  the wildest bronc on earth as long as you can before you bite the dust.   Then you just have to get back on.

Quote from: DianaP on December 10, 2012, 03:25:04 PM
Well, everything wasn't so bad. Everyone in my school knows now (amazing how the only thing that can get done quickly in my school is the spread of gossip  :P).

However, only 2 people gave me any trouble, one of which is getting suspended for trying to assault me. I'm not ashamed to say that I did defend myself. I won't go into detail, but he deserved everything he got.

Everyone else was delightful or didn't say anything about the matter. Some of my female classmates even gave me some clothes.  ;D

Score!!! (for the most part)

Hope things keep on lookin up for you :D

Quote from: LivingInGrey on December 10, 2012, 03:45:59 PM
Score!!! (for the most part)

I agree. I wouldn't exactly call everything that went on today a score.  :laugh:

wow , well I am glad i did not put any lgbt stuff in my favorites yet, i made a seperate folder/playlist called genderfluid (which you can make private) and within the playlist you can make each video private or unlisted (unlisted is the same, just lets more people view it you share it with)

But ya know I had outed myself to my mom by accident cause I was playing around with my voicemail on my cell phone trying to use a more feminine voice, and my mom called like 5 minutes after i had changed it and was listening to it on my phone.

It was dumb of me cause I wasant ready.

So it does really suck but, you probably didnt know you could make a playlist private. You can't make the favorites private , but you can make a new playlist and make that "private"

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on December 10, 2012, 03:50:50 PM
So it does really suck but, you probably didnt know you could make a playlist private.

I just assumed that it was private. All I know how to do on the computer is go on the internet (Youtube, Google, and Research sites) and type stuff on microsoft word//powerpoint.  :P

yeah you can change it under video manager settings under playlists, it has a button you can select private or public for the playlist

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on December 10, 2012, 03:56:26 PM
yeah you can change it under video manager settings under playlists, it has a button you can select private or public for the playlist

Alternatively, now that things are in the open and the support is generally unanimous, you could just relax.

Just a thought.

Quote from: spacial on December 10, 2012, 05:19:58 PM
Alternatively, now that things are in the open and the support is generally unanimous, you could just relax.

Just a thought.

Well, of course.

I am so pleased for you Diana.

Well, thanks. It's funny because I was crying profusely yesterday, but just can't stop smiling today.  :)

Oh my, the mood swings are already starting, and I'm not even on HRT. Badum tsh!  :laugh:

Glad things are working out :)  and getting better