Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Oh My goodness!!  :o  :angel: You will not believe what just happened!

Just a few hours ago I had a dream that was so amazing and so spiritual and an answer to my deepest subconscious question. OK I started out looking for a girl named Abby, in this area of the world I had never seen before, it was a mix of different types of buildings, with clouds and water rushing by under my feet alongside the buildings, she was there looking for someone or something, and i was trying to find her, but my attention turned to the North and directly in front.

I looked up and saw more majestic white houses (sort of like what might be described as new Jerusalem...only thing it looked like) and I saw a huge wall of water rushing towards me. It was almost on me when I became aware of the presence of God. I asked the question I had been wanting to ask him/her all this time. I said out-loud "Is it OK for me to be a woman"?

In a female voice (the first time I had ever heard God speak as a woman) She/He said to me in a booming voice that hit me as the water rushed past my body and engulfed me..

"It is not OK for you to be a Man"!

I was shocked! I said again "Did you just say its not ok for me to be a man"? Again the voice said "Yes" I asked again because the end of the sentence when God said "man" got cut off by the rushing water sound.

Wow what a truly amazing thing to happen to me~ Then after i came back down from the higher area or plains, I was then surrounded by women who were showing me new technologies to transform my body,hair,makeup, and well just about everything! I saw myself as a complete woman with long dark hair and tan skin and very elegant and happy.

The thing is I was asking God to tell me and I had just figured he/she would never do that and I gave up sort of in waiting for an answer. Then this happens! I am truly amazed and so at peace right now, you just have no idea how this feels. I had been actually praying for something like this to happen.

I had not even considered that God would ever speak in a female voice, I only ever heard God once as a male voice and that was back in 2000 in a dream. What was interesting is how God responded to me. She/he did not answer me with a yes or a no. It was as if God was trying to get the point across in a more vivid and intense way!

I decided to share this dream with my 1st family member (a cousin) and guess what? He accepted me for who I am! He said he was proud of me!

Did she sound black?

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on December 13, 2012, 01:47:03 PM
Did she sound black?

Naaaah, if it is black then it would be just Rufus, 13th apostle, or Jesus.

Quote from: bev2 on December 13, 2012, 01:19:35 PM
So what are you taking from this? That you should transition or that you should be OK as a man? It seems to me that God's statement could equally well be a question or a command.

The intent of the message was clear, I am not supposed to be living as a male, I need to let go of my fear. God did not ask it like a question, it was a statement.

Quote"It is NOT OK for you to be a Man"!

God is as far beyond race as we are beyond snails.

Shawn,

That's wonderful. Have you asked Him the name He calls you by? (God does change names from time to time so...)

Perhaps you would understand this a bit,I have seen visions of a girl with long flowing blonde hair,in a dress of the purest white,dancing with joy in the middle of a field with the most beautiful flowers of red and yellow,and I know it's me and as I am doing so I can sense that God is smiling down on me.

Sarah,
You wouldn't have by chance had that vision around 1975 or 1976 would you?

Quote from: SarahM777 on December 14, 2012, 05:20:02 AM
Shawn,

That's wonderful. Have you asked Him the name He calls you by? (God does change names from time to time so...)

Perhaps you would understand this a bit,I have seen visions of a girl with long flowing blonde hair,in a dress of the purest white,dancing with joy in the middle of a field with the most beautiful flowers of red and yellow,and I know it's me and as I am doing so I can sense that God is smiling down on me.

Well actually I had a dream in 2000 where God said "I know who you are, and told me my name, then earlier this year he gave me my middle name which is Sunshine  :angel:

Quote from: Del on December 14, 2012, 08:55:49 AM
Sarah,
You wouldn't have by chance had that vision around 1975 or 1976 would you?

Del,

I am not very good with putting dates to events. It's possible but I can't say for sure. I have had variations of that from time to time. The two things that are the same is that I am female in white and Jesus is in the vision. (I can't see Him clearly but I can see the nail scared hands)

You have me curious as to why you ask.  :)

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on December 14, 2012, 09:34:31 AM
Well actually I had a dream in 2000 where God said "I know who you are, and told me my name, then earlier this year he gave me my middle name which is Sunshine  :angel:

:)

Sarah,
I asked because back in 75 or 76 (leaning towards 76) I had the same dream you mention but the teenage girl was not me. I had never seen her before.
Just saying because over the years I have had dreams and visions of friends and such. (some before I met the people)
Can't say you are the one in the dream but it's rather strange you mention it.
Just sorta wonderin now if you remember any more details of it.
That dream was on my mind for about the last one or two months. (since right before I saw your private message and contacted yout this last time)
Strange.
Didn't mean to sidetrack the issue. Sorry for any confusuin.
May God bless.

The girl named Abby in my dream seemed like someone looking for me, like a long lost friend or maybe a future lover, I often see people in my dream I think I know, and yet in the waking world have never met.

Quote from: Del on December 14, 2012, 05:23:31 PM
Sarah,
I asked because back in 75 or 76 (leaning towards 76) I had the same dream you mention but the teenage girl was not me. I had never seen her before.
Just saying because over the years I have had dreams and visions of friends and such. (some before I met the people)
Can't say you are the one in the dream but it's rather strange you mention it.
Just sorta wonderin now if you remember any more details of it.
That dream was on my mind for about the last one or two months. (since right before I saw your private message and contacted yout this last time)
Strange.
Didn't mean to sidetrack the issue. Sorry for any confusuin.
May God bless.

Del,

It was in the fall of 1976 (It was just a bit before I turned 19) that was the fall that I tried committing suicide. I do not doubt that God will lay other people on our hearts to pray for them even if we have never met them. (God has done so in my life and some I will not meet in this life as they live in another country) I don't find it strange because that goes to who is the one that is giving us those visions,it shows us that God is not bound by time,space or distance and He is concerned about us in a very real way. It goes beyond coincidence and there is only one explanation for them especially when He confirms them in a very unique way.

Sarah,
Amen sis.
Gotta go now for a few months.
I have a lot to do.
Now the issue here can return even though in a strange way it does prove that the Lord knoweth them that are His and will give dreams and visions as you say. Neither is He bound by time nor distance as you say kiddo. Truly He has made all things and can give everlasting life unto whom soever will love above all and be obedient unto His word and believe regardless of how much comes against them as Job did.
See y'all later.
May God bless.
Del

Shawn,

Just a quick question for you. Outside of the dream how do you know this is from the Lord? I know that you are happy about it,but has the Lord confirmed this in any way,shape or form? Have you been given Bible passages that would back this up? Has He confirmed this through another Christian that is not aware of this dream? We do need to remember that Satan can transform himself into an angel of light and not all of our dreams or visions are from God. Does the dream point to Jesus and glorify Him?

I know this because It was the same presence i felt in my dream in the year 2000, when I was about to make a serious mistake in my life. This dream came to me on a night that I was feeling very depressed and unsure again about my future, even though I made a conscious effort to let go of my fears. I said this prayer to God a long while ago, and God answered , not Satan.

Instead of living in fear, I can embrace this and in turn help other people come to Christ that are afraid or are turned off or have been hurt by the church. I have a renewed sense of purpose now. I use to be afraid to witness to others and now I am not.

My question to you Sarah, is why would Satan give me this dream? It is not going to change me being a Christian, so the devil does not gain anything by this.

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on December 15, 2012, 11:24:11 AM

My question to you Sarah, is why would Satan give me this dream? It is not going to change me being a Christian, so the devil does not gain anything by this.

In a way he can. The main reason for him to do so is to give us something we want so badly that we lose our focus. If Satan can get us to focus on something other then Jesus or the Father we then become like sheep,we start to wander away in a manner that is kind of like sheep seeing a pretty delicious little blue flower,and goes after it,then the sheep sees a yellow flower,goes after it and the next thing you know the sheep is far away from the shepherd. It's not that the sheep is bad but the sheep lost sight of the shepherd.

The farther we are away from the shepherd the more our witness becomes weaker and ineffectual.

Well it was not Satan, so I can take peace in that.

Shawn,

I finally remembered something that you said less than seven months ago. This is what you wrote on May 25th,2012,and these are your words not mine.

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on May 25, 2012, 09:30:40 AM

In regards to everything that has been said so far, and everything I have read and whats in my heart, I still have to tell you that warning sirens, bells and whistles are going off in my head. I feel like the Holy Spirit is telling me to run away, very quickly, before I become deceived, and start accepting certain things and then as time would progress be so caught up under its control that I would not be able to or want to turn back. We are talking about my eternal life here , for those of you that don't believe , this is not a light thing to be just swept under the rug here. We only get to live for 100 years or so at best. I would rather spend 100 years of living with my current state, than risk having to spend an eternity in hell, separated from God, not because he wanted me to go there, but because he cannot simply allow any kind of sin into heaven. Only Good can exist there in heaven. You know I really would like to believe what you have layed before me , Annah, It would be so simple to just accept everything and anyones ideas, and follow the wide path, which is easy, its the narrow path that is hard.

But again if it is supposed to be right and something I can do, why do I still feel convicted not to do this thing, why do I still feel guilty, why do i still feel like I would be betraying my family and hurting them if I did this thing?

What is troubling is that in that time you went from someone who says they had all these warnings,
what changed that you no longer have those warnings? What brought that wall down? See the point is back in May you were totally convinced that the warnings were from God and now less than seven months later there does not seem to be any hint at all that it may be possible in light of those warnings that this may not be from God. Why would God be giving you warnings and then turn around and then say something different?

Please think it through for your sake. Be totally sure because if those warnings are from the Lord,He's given it to you to help keep you from doing something that in the long run you will regret.

I am not saying this to hurt you,I just don't want to see you do something that in the long run would not be good for you. Be aware that there are those that after doing so regret that choice. I don't want to see you be one. 

Maybe it's me but something doesn't seem to add up. At the least I would be seeking answers as to what is happening,because the two seem to be at odds with each other.

Let us just say I have done a lot of growing, have read books and scripture, prayed and talked with other Christians who were also lgbtqqi and sought help from a Christian Psychologist who has dealt with Gender Issues for 15 years. This was my own personal fear and at the time i wrote that and was convinced It was 100% evil to consider my gender and my identity as something other than male.

I have had a lot of time to do some soul searching, I could never go back to a place where I thought anything lgbtqqi was evil, and i cannot continue to live as male, I am depressed right now that I have to still present and look male. Anything else would not bring me the peace I need.

I had warning bells and whistles not just about myself, but about everyone else, I was raised conservative Christian, I had everything in a neat little box, now I am thinking outside the box. I am so happy I met people who are lgbtqqi that have the fruit of the Holy Spirit in them, It showed me I did not have to live in fear anymore.

Boiled down as simply as I can make it,the issue is this you claimed,it was the Holy Spirit that was warning you,now you are saying it's not,but the dream is. If it wasn't the Holy Spirit on the warnings how can you be sure it's the Holy Spirit speaking to you now? For me that would be one huge red flag,because then I would have to question who am I listening to. That really is a question you need to get answered other wise you may end up in a place you may find you don't to be.

Maybe it's me but the one thing I do not want to lose even in this life is to be with Him,and walk with Him and talk with Him. With out Him in my life I have nothing. The one thing I want to be sure of is that it is the Lord who I am speaking with and getting dreams and visions from,because if I am wrong it's a major problem. I do not want dreams and visions to be the thing that comes between the Lord and me.

One more thing for you to think about,you can mimic other peoples voices,is it not possible that Satan after thousands of years of practice, he could very easily have learned how to mimic God's voice?

I do need to add this as I am getting prompted to ask it  Did the Psychologist ever deal with or pray with you to check if those warnings were coming from the Lord,or did they bypass it and tell you that they were coming from your fears? What is being impressed on me is that you and the Psychologist never spent much time discerning where the warnings were coming from. The psychologist went very quickly into that the fears were coming from inside you and you never really pressed the issue that you felt they were coming from the Lord.

It is your choice though,and I can only pass on that which is in my heart on this and I see a number of big red warning flags. And I will leave it with this be sure you know where this is coming from.

My doctor did pray for me, every time we had a session, its the one thing that we always do. Sarah, sometimes we just have to accept things on faith, in this case I was mistaken and I allowed my own personal fear to take over. I appreciate your concern, but really everything is fine. Satan cannot mislead me if I am seeking out God and God alone.

QuoteJoel 2:28
[ The LORD's Promise of His Spirit ] "Then, after doing all those things, I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams, and your young men will see visions.

QuoteMatthew 12:26
And if Satan is casting out Satan, he is divided and fighting against himself. His own kingdom will not survive.

Satan wants me to be unhappy and not be able to trust in God's plan. You are seeing demons and devils in my path Sarah, when there are none. Please just accept that I am happy and I am only interested in doing God's work, not the Evil One.

Shawn,

Please part of this is something I went through,and I can speak from experience,I did have something like this happen to me and after eight years I am still having to suffer the consequences of not listening to some warnings. See my sister (Whom I love dearly as I am not just her sister but also the one to take of her) after many years of running finally came back,and she told me how sorry she was and how much she loved us,she had been into witchcraft (Not sure if she still is) she came back and claimed that she had become a Christian,and she had the gift of prophecy,she was having dreams and visions about me and what I was suppose to do. I started listening to her. She was very good at it and she knew a lot of scripture. She got me to doubt some of the things the Lord told me to do. She started using that to drive a wedge between me and my mom. (She was using scripture to back up what she was saying) I was looking at her through rose colored glasses and did not catch some the things that were off just a tiny bit.
My mom got warnings about false prophets,but because my sister had forged that wedge between my mom and I,I didn't want to listen. My sister got me to move out of my folks place (I knew I was suppose to be the one to take care of them) We ended getting a place together,in that time she cleaned out my bank account through manipulation (Which when she came back had over $23,000 in it) She ran up my charge cards to the tune of $10,000 and stole over $25,000 worth of inventory from my business. The Saturday before Easter she almost had me committed to the county mental health,tried to get me to sign my car and bank accounts over to her also. Her husband the same day hit me so hard in the sternum that I nearly passed out. All day before they took me in they were brow beating me into submission. They threw me out of the place,took my car,dumped me at the county,they didn't tell anybody they did this (I was paying the rent) The county sent me to a homeless shelter,for Easter Sunday.  The Lord did not leave me stranded though but He did let me suffer the consequences. (I am still paying off the credit cards)

My sister is a pathological liar. (She is so good at it she had social workers in tears because they didn't catch her at,and one nearly quit)

I just don't want to see you go through something like this.  It's a very hard lesson to learn.

I am sorry that your sister did this too you, my mom and dad abused me and screamed and yelled at me and I had nothing but constant chaos as a child growing up. My mom has already told me I was a freak and an abomination for feeling the way I feel. My younger brother wont associate with me If i go down this path, in fact most of my family will despise me.

I don't have anyone in my life that I know of who would clean out my bank accounts and such as happened to you though. What a horrible thing for a sibling to do.

Something else I should mention,she was going to help me with make up,nails,clothing and some other things (She had worked as a model for a short time) But in the end she was the one that betrayed me to my father (I hadn't come out to him yet and I wasn't ready) Because I ended up back at their place I had to get rid of all my makeup and clothing. (It was a condition of being allowed to come back)

so are you currently living as a male again then? Or what is going on?

She is the only person that could ever have come that close to doing so,I trusted her way to much and didn't see the warning signs. There is no way that we can ever get back together unless she runs a very hard gauntlet. If she doesn't reconcile to all the others in the family first,I can not allow her back in my life in any way shape or form. (And knowing my other siblings it won't happen,they can't stand her or me)

I know why she was able to. She was the baby of the family. I was fourteen when she was born. So I remember this cute little good,natured little girl. I moved out when I was nineteen so she was only five years old. I remember feeding her,changing her,and playing with her. In a lot of ways she was my baby. (Not that she physically was but emotional she was) I didn't see all the things that happened after that. (And my family really didn't talk to me that much about it)

I still present as male but I am female. Haven't been able to transition,no insurance and no money.  :P

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on December 17, 2012, 11:08:49 AM
I am sorry that your sister did this too you, my mom and dad abused me and screamed and yelled at me and I had nothing but constant chaos as a child growing up. My mom has already told me I was a freak and an abomination for feeling the way I feel. My younger brother wont associate with me If i go down this path, in fact most of my family will despise me.

I don't have anyone in my life that I know of who would clean out my bank accounts and such as happened to you though. What a horrible thing for a sibling to do.

What bothers me the most is that she was able to get through defenses in a shorter period of time then most would not get through in a year. Within two months she had me wrapped around her little finger and I allowed her to do it to a point. (Till she found out I had no money left and that's when the manure hit the fan)

I do understand on the parents being abusive. Both my parents and my grandmothers were all verbally abusive. My mom finally got passed it,but the rest never did. My brothers and sisters all beat up on each other. I don't know how many times I needed new glasses because they were broken and I had them taped up and I had to wait to get them,but my dad always had his beer,cigars and lunch money for going out. If we had a couple of days of peace it was a long time.
Outside of the last time I will see them (It would be at my mom's funeral,and I am becoming very aware of the small but noticeable signs that she is going down hill,I would rather they don't show up at all) if I never see them again it won't hurt me. (I am OK with my mom now but it took a long time) She's been the one that has been the most accepting.

I do understand we weren't meant to live like that.