Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Im in that strange place again where all of my emotions seem to be turned off, I cannot feel anything, instead i just feel like a robot crunching numbers. I always get periods that seem to last a long time like this and I really don't know what the answer for this is.

I havent taken hrt yet, so that has to be the missing element for me. I need to cry and I cannot let it out.

I'm sorry to hear that, it's an awful feeling. I'm afraid I don't have any advice, but I do hope that you feel better soon.

The answer might be hrt. Once I was on hrt I started crying, a lot. So much that it got scary at some point lol, but it seems to have balanced now.

Tell someone to tickle you until you tear up. Once the waterworks start flowing, it's easy to keep going.  ;)

Watch sad videos on youtube. I watch videos like the attack on the World Trade Center, the explosion of the Challenger Shuttle, or the finally scene of the movie A.I Artificial Intelligence. That dang bear at the end makes me start crying every time.

thanks for your replies, well I am also Bi Polar, and well one the things that seems to be consistent with me is that I either feel full of emotion or nearly empty, its a vicious cycle sometimes , medicine only helps some.

 Before hormones, the only thing I was particularly good at was getting angry, so crying was completely out of the question most of the time. I was pretty unhappy about this, because I really did enjoy crying, and I often needed to do so and just couldn't.

Hormones made crying easier. I don't think that my emotions are close to volatile or fragile, but I can cry in intense or sad circumstances. Not easily, but easier.

So, I agree that hormones are likely to help with this problem. Until then, my best wishes... endurance is difficult to come by when one cannot find proper release.

I don't know if this will make sense,but what I have come to the conclusion on this is that it may be just our body and emotions saying we need a break. (Been there myself) Maybe it's the fact that we have been drained to the point that there's nothing left,and we just need some time for the "tanks" to be refilled. I have leaned not to stress over it because the crying will come again,I just need to be patient and wait for my body's and emotion's timing.

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on December 17, 2012, 05:33:44 PM
Im in that strange place again where all of my emotions seem to be turned off, I cannot feel anything, instead i just feel like a robot crunching numbers. I always get periods that seem to last a long time like this and I really don't know what the answer for this is.

I havent taken hrt yet, so that has to be the missing element for me. I need to cry and I cannot let it out.

I actually fear the possibility that hrt makes me cry more because I already do it way too easily, but I know that feeling just the same. It's when the feel good emotions that make you feel alive suddenly vanish for a time. Crying for me is always a feel good emotion because I was never allowed to express anything but anger. I used to consider myself to be in male mode when it hit me, but now I realize it's just another side of me.

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on December 17, 2012, 05:33:44 PM
Im in that strange place again where all of my emotions seem to be turned off, I cannot feel anything, instead i just feel like a robot crunching numbers. I always get periods that seem to last a long time like this and I really don't know what the answer for this is.

I havent taken hrt yet, so that has to be the missing element for me. I need to cry and I cannot let it out.

Just to suggest an alternative: perhaps something subconsciously is stopping you, a defense mechanism that you've used to cope in certain situations in the past. Maybe you need to cry but deeper down you don't want to. If it happens in periods then I'm not sure HRT is the missing link, since I would assume you also have alternating periods where your emotions are at the foreground, without HRT.

If you don't mind, could I ask a few questions?

Firstly, can you think of when you started feeling like this? I mean can you think of something specifically that caused you to start feeling this way? Did it happen soon after something which you found stressful, for example.

How long do these periods last for?

Can you remember the first time you felt this way?

It seems to happen when I am stressed, it started happening after I was abused, and whenever I have stress I seem to shut down.

Okay, something occurred to me but it's probably not appropriate to ask here. PM me if you're interested.

Umm... can you think of a situation or event that, for lack of a better term, turns your emotions back on? Or is it a state of mind which wears off by itself with no apparent rhyme or reason.

Would this not be a normal symptom of a Bi-polar disorder? Perhaps you need to have your medication adjusted? To me, this seems like a very serious issue that you need to be on top of before you start trying to figure out your gender issues. One of the really big red flags for people interested in medical transition is co-existing mental health issue. One could be a by-product of the other etc Making the assumption that HRT is "missing" and therefore responsible for your episodes is a fairly large, baseless and severely flawed leap in reasoning to make.. It's about as rational as thinking HRT will cause you to be eaten by bears, cause you're not on HRT and a bear hasn't eaten you yet. Anicdotally speaking, HRT actually intensifies mood swings and emotions in a lot of people.

It just comes and goes and seems to have no rhyme or reason, my doctor already established we need to work on both my gid and bi polar, and prove  that my issues are not influencing my gender disorder, she doesn't think they are, but she wants to log everything and find a pattern. Oh and my emotions are fine again today, everything is copacetic.