Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Rita on December 17, 2012, 09:06:42 PM Return to Full Version

Title: I finally came out!
Post by: Rita on December 17, 2012, 09:06:42 PM
I am still shaking  ;D mom was confused, kept asking if I was into men, and was even more confused when I told her I am into woman x3.

But overall that is to be on par with the situation of a 56 year old ^^.  I can't believe its finally over.  As on par with what I  thought would happen she pledge her support and fear for my future due to the way people are.  I told her im going stealth so I hope to only be id'ed as a girl!

It was huge for her.... I hope she is ok.  I know she will be ok but I hope she is really ok >.< I didn't want to overload her but she asked about everything and I told her everything!
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Kevin Peña on December 17, 2012, 09:08:38 PM
Congratulations! You're so lucky! Time for some celebratory music!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bR3K5uB-wMA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bR3K5uB-wMA)
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Rita on December 17, 2012, 09:10:30 PM
Quote from: DianaP on December 17, 2012, 09:08:38 PM
Congratulations! You're so lucky! Time for some celebratory music!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bR3K5uB-wMA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bR3K5uB-wMA)
Hehe meeps x3 thanks! omg I cant stop shaking.
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Adabelle on December 17, 2012, 11:57:56 PM
Congrats!! I remember that moment well. I'm very happy for you!! :)
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: justmeinoz on December 18, 2012, 01:55:53 AM
Congratulations.  Now your Mum has a chance to get to know a daughter too.

Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Emily Aster on December 18, 2012, 05:40:12 AM
Congrats. I got the same are you gay reaction too. Understandable I guess cause I had the same confusion myself.
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Rita on December 18, 2012, 09:16:58 AM
Quote from: justmeinoz on December 18, 2012, 01:55:53 AM
Congratulations.  Now your Mum has a chance to get to know a daughter too.

Im not going to lie, the day they say I am their daughter is going to be so wierd!!  I cant wait ^.^.  Someone in  our building gendered me female and asked my father if I was his daughter once, felt good.  And now I can say yep!  ;D

Quote from: Karen on December 18, 2012, 05:40:12 AM
Congrats. I got the same are you gay reaction too. Understandable I guess cause I had the same confusion myself.

She was like.. but girls arent going to like you! And I am like well girls who like girls will and she understood.  I told her I am not going to go for straight woman because obviously that will end in pain because they want a MAN.

Really I have become pretty Bi in thought, it was in me my entire life but came out when I started to feel feminine.  But to be honest I don't want to overload them, I think it would of been easier for her if I said I was into men. 

Not that my sexuality matters, whoever I am with means the world to me ^^
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: JessicaH on December 18, 2012, 10:12:25 AM
Congrats!  It's a very hard thing to do but always feels so much better when it's done. I really want to tell my mom but she has some really bad anxiety issues and I'm really afraid that she would have a breakdown from worrying about me.  I know she would accept me and love me no matter what but she would be burdened with the knowledge of the secret I have carried all these years and she would justifiably be worried about my future well being.

I'm really glad that you got that over with and that she has accepted you!
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Violet Bloom on December 18, 2012, 10:20:26 AM
  Having just recently come out first to my mom myself I know exactly how you felt.  I gained the upper hand by talking first about all the symptoms and effects it's had on my life, and the very last thing I told her was I was trans.  This pretty much avoided almost all of the possible questions because indirectly I had already answered them.  She already knew just how low my mood had sunk from depression and that it had been catastrophically strangling me.  I think she was happier I'd found an answer than knowing the details of that answer.

  I'm super-excited for you because you're one of the people on here I was rooting for the most.
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Elsa on December 18, 2012, 10:58:16 AM
Congratulations!!! I am sooo happy for you that she has accepted you and pledged to support you!

Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: RedFox on December 18, 2012, 11:19:26 AM
Congrats on the coming out Rita!

I came out to my mother and her husband a few months ago.  I was in the middle east and only had skype and email so I wrote a long email detailing as much as I could and giving resources for more information.  I even threw in the "Bi" part as an afterthought (in for a penny, in for a pound, right?).  I was so worried about the response but I quickly got back another email telling me that she loved me no matter what and while she was confused and conflicted, her feelings wouldn't change and I'd always be her child.  Her husband only asked if I still liked riding motorcycles.  :)

I came home a few days ago and they had a party for me and were very loving and accepting.  Of course, others were there so we never talked about the trans thing.. but it was still cool.

As an aside, she's still going through the stages of grief I think.. stuck on angry - though I think it's mostly blaming me for breaking up my family - because my wife is only attracted to me as a man and has already said she'll divorce me when I start my transition.  But at least I don't have to hide who I am. :/

Rita, I hope you mother continues to accept you as you transition - I'm sure if she loves you she will.
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Simon on December 18, 2012, 06:17:07 PM
Congrats! I know it is such a load off your shoulders to have that part over with. Take a huge sigh of relief..you deserve it.  ;)
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Jenny_B_Good on December 18, 2012, 07:12:25 PM
Quote from: Violet Bloom on December 18, 2012, 10:20:26 AM
.....  I gained the upper hand by talking first about all the symptoms and effects it's had on my life, and the very last thing I told her was I was trans.  This pretty much avoided almost all of the possible questions because indirectly I had already answered them.  ....

This is a really smart way of doing it. Wish I'd thought of it that way.

Must pass this on to the "younger" girls...

OXOXOX

Jenn
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Jenny_B_Good on December 18, 2012, 07:21:32 PM
Congratulations Rrrrita,

I believe that finally things will really start happening for you.

I myself went down to see my parents and dropped hints along the way. As luck would have, it my mum was looking for St Johns Wort to calm the effects of menopause. I pulled out my packet of Progynova and said it would interfere. Showed her the instructions and everything. We went ago as unusual then at a quiet moment at home she asked me what I was doing with hormones.

She told my Dad, then he came to me and said "It's your life- do what you want", I cried and hugged him. His partial acceptance was enough to push me over the edge.

My Dad is having a tough time with it and always uses the words "never" when talking to me about it, but to be honest, the fact that they know was enough for me to push further through transition. I wasn't what I wanted, but It was what I needed I guess.
Went full-time about 3 months later.

Awesome Rita,. You should put a smiley face on your avatar.

Love

Jenn
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: DeeperThanSwords on December 18, 2012, 07:41:09 PM
Congratulations!
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Tristan on December 20, 2012, 01:06:54 PM
congrats hun. its a big step
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Elle on December 20, 2012, 07:58:47 PM
Finally came out to my parents to, it's such a relieve.

Congrats OP!
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Rita on December 22, 2012, 09:13:01 AM
Thanks for the support everyone  ;D  I couldn't of had done it alone.  It was far too scary~
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Violet Bloom on December 22, 2012, 11:10:50 AM
I told you people were rooting for you!
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Rita on December 22, 2012, 11:42:00 AM
-gets scared- Nuhs I don't want to be planted like a tree!! don't let em do it to me.
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Violet Bloom on December 22, 2012, 04:29:53 PM
Quote from: Rita on December 22, 2012, 11:42:00 AM
-gets scared- Nuhs I don't want to be planted like a tree!! don't let em do it to me.
I will fend them off with a shovel ;)
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Rita on December 22, 2012, 10:14:38 PM
Promise?  :icon_nervious:
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Violet Bloom on December 23, 2012, 01:49:39 PM
Quote from: Rita on December 22, 2012, 10:14:38 PM
Promise?  :icon_nervious:
Yep, I'm digging-in my heels. :D
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: zelda on December 23, 2012, 06:32:23 PM
Great to hear that Rita
now that starts another chapter in your life
the part you are going to love
and cherish for the rest of your life
hope everything else go as smooth as this went
if not smoother
HUGS
O and I LOVE your profile picture
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Kevin Peña on December 23, 2012, 07:16:59 PM
Zelda, I LOVE your avatar and name! Legend of Zelda forever!  ;D
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: zelda on December 23, 2012, 07:28:30 PM
thank you Dianap :)
I love and play the series so much I got the nickname Zelda even before people knew I was trans ;D
I LOVE your avatar too
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Rita on December 26, 2012, 03:31:36 PM
Quote from: DianaP on December 23, 2012, 07:16:59 PM
Zelda, I LOVE your avatar and name! Legend of Zelda forever!  ;D

I love Female link, gives me a real lady B*&er
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: zelda on December 26, 2012, 09:52:32 PM
we love your avatar too Rita
or at least I do
hope you had a wonderful Christmas Rita
Title: Re: I finally came out!
Post by: Violet Bloom on December 26, 2012, 10:01:49 PM
Quote from: Rita on December 26, 2012, 03:31:36 PM
I love Female link, gives me a real lady B*&er

  Uh, does that make it an 'innie' or an 'outie'? :o