Susan's Place Transgender Resources

This is pretty much just a rant about how much I hate looking so young. Once upon a time I used to look a lot older than my age but when I decided to start living as male I started to look ridiculously young. It annoys me for so many reasons. People think I'm about 14/15 and they talk down to me as if I were a child which really upsets me. Another reason is when buying alcohol. Normally I flash my ID and its fine but today was an absolute joke.

I went to buy a few bottles of cider and I needed to show my ID. I took both my passport and my drivers license with me. I showed the woman my passport as it looks more like me than my license. She said she could see it was my face but she wasn't convinced. I showed her my license but she still wasn't convinced. She called over another member of staff who had the same problem. They thought maybe I had an older sibling or something. It was kinda awkward because the first woman was referring to me as "he" which of course I was happy about but my ID is still all female, female name and female title. I was worried she might suddenly realise that and then go through the whole "Oh I'm so sorry." thing. I was worried the other member of staff might have spotted and blurt out "That's a girl, not a boy." which has happened to me before.
In the end the first woman had to call over her manager or supervisor or whatever she was. That woman instantly said it was fine so I got my bottles.
It really gets on my nerves. I'm more than old enough to drink and I can't even pass for the drinking age. It's also a pain in the arse because my ID is all female and sometimes people get confused.
I'm currently going through the name changing process so should have male ID soon but even so I still look like a giant baby! Bring on the day I can grow a real beard.

I feel your pain. I used to get asked for ID right up until my late 30s (in fact, I was once asked for ID in Asda because I was trying to buy some teaspoons - jobsworths! - and the cashier almost fainted when she saw my date of birth).

But it's great now that I'm older. I'm 41 and I look like I'm in my mid-20s, which is the age at which people start to treat you like a grown-up. I give it another 10 years before I look old & haggard and people start talking to me like I'm a toddler again. ;)

Teaspoons? That's ridiculous lol. I sometimes get ID'd for energy drinks as well. I think the age for energy drinks is about 16.
I really hate not being treated like an adult. I remember about 2 years ago my mum had a few friends over for a Christmas eve party and there were a few people who I hadn't met before. The conversation ultimately led on to sex and one of the guys was trying to be discreet thinking I was pretty young. At one point he told me to "cover my ears". All I could think was I've probably had wilder experiences than you pal. It really annoyed me. The whole night people kept trying to keep "adult" conversations away from me. I think after that I went and changed into a tank top (despite it being the middle of December) just to show off my tattoo and prove I was older.

It's a gift, you just can't appreciate it now but I can assure you that you will soon enough because age and lines sneak up on you faster than you'd wish and suddenly you look older than dirt and worn out and you'll go WTF? So get over it and enjoy your youth kid!

I feel your pain, I really don't mind looking young but it bugs me that people often treat me like a child because of it.

Even when people know how old I am they seem to forget and revert back to treating me like a pre-teen anyway xD

We did a team building day at college not long ago and they handed out forms for parental consent. Obviously I didn't hand mine in....it's been a good few years since I needed parental consent for anything, but every single teacher asked me why I hadn't handed it in yet for like 3 weeks...."because I'm almost 24" ... oh right, I forgot sorry!

There's another mature student in the class and nobody ever asked her...they didn't even give her a form in the first place. Grr :P

This issue seems to be common for many in your situations.

The most can can say I'm afraid is big hugggs and really sorry for your frustrations.

I used to get angry about that too. I've never gotten carded for teaspoons, but I have gotten carded for buying the air cleaner that you use for keyboards and for buying an NC-17 movie, both by kids that looked to be no more than 16 and both when I was over 30. I've also had the alcohol problem. In college, where I was the only person in my group of friends that was old enough to drink, we went to a bar. All my friends walked right in and I had to stand outside on the sidewalk because they thought my ID was fake and wouldn't let me in.

Yeah, teaspoons. Heh, I guess she was terrified that I might try to scoop somebody's eyes out or something. ;)

Like I said... jobsworths!

Now come on, be fair, a spoon can be quite nasty as this utterly reliable video of real events demonstrates.

You call that a knife? This is a Knife! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xqghpm4gXf4#)

MRH,
I wonder if it was because your ID said female. Maybe they thought it was your sister's ID.

Quote from: Forum Admin on December 20, 2012, 10:46:13 AM
MRH,
I wonder if it was because your ID said female. Maybe they thought it was your sister's ID.

Possibly. The woman did say to me "I know it's your face but I don't think it's you." A sentence that makes no sense at all, like I've stolen the face of the person in the picture somehow.
I don't think she noticed the female part though simply because she kept referring to me as "he" and most of the time when people realise it's female they apologize and start referring to me as "she".

I went to buy some stuff from Blockbusters a while back and the guy at the till, who I'm sure was younger than me, said, in a very patronizing voice, "If you get your mum or dad to sign up with us you can get exclusive offers." I wasn't amused by this and just walked off.

Because the fines are so high, the penalties so steep most people who purvey adult beverages tend to err on the side of caution when dealing with IDs.  We do a band every year where lots of the fans wear this stupid clown face makeup, and every year the bartenders get a lecture on 'if you can't tell what they look like, don't serve them.'  And lots of brothers and sisters look very similar, and it sure wouldn't be the first time someone used their older sister/brothers ID.

And no matter how hard it sucks to look too young, it's far worse the other way round.

if you would like to send me some of your years i would gladly take the extra youth you don't want ;)

Looking like a baby is a transman curse. I can go out with a full beard and people ask if my gf is my mom (she is 4 years younger than I am).

I just got tired of being a billy goat gruff yesterday and shaved my whole face except my goatee. I look about 17 (I'm 31) but I'm enjoying it while I can. One day we'll all be old and crusty musty..so why push it?

Quote from: MRH on December 20, 2012, 11:32:34 AM


I went to buy some stuff from Blockbusters a while back and the guy at the till, who I'm sure was younger than me, said, in a very patronizing voice, "If you get your mum or dad to sign up with us you can get exclusive offers." I wasn't amused by this and just walked off.

haha I get this all the time with sales people knocking on my door ... "is your mum or dad in?" ... I just say no, easy way to get rid of them at least. Same for the chuggers on the street. "can I talk to you about saving the rainforest...are you over 18?" ... NOPE!

Last month, on my way to a flight lesson, I stopped for coffee. The elderly woman who rang me up said that kids shouldn't be drinking coffee, but she was very sweet about it. COFFEE. She was actually really nice so it didn't turn awkward and horrifying. I did tell her my actual age when she inquired.

Last New Years, a liquor store has denied me Red Bull, "too young for this," were his words. Yeah...

At another liquor store, I've emptied out my entire wallet just to prove that EVERYTHING had the same name. 

BUT...

The best time it happened was a couple of years ago, TSA thought I was a little boy and waved me over to the line for Seniors and Children—I didn't fight that one at all! Skipped ahead of like 50 people.

It also doesn't help that I'm really short.


On a different note: I actually keep both my old ID with old name and new ID in my wallet. I've had to use the old one a couple times in situations where my old name is the one on record.

Quote from: Jeatyn on December 20, 2012, 01:34:29 PM
haha I get this all the time with sales people knocking on my door ... "is your mum or dad in?" ... I just say no, easy way to get rid of them at least. Same for the chuggers on the street. "can I talk to you about saving the rainforest...are you over 18?" ... NOPE!

Hahaa... I do that too.

I laughed when I saw the title to this thread. My first thought was that this is a problem that will you'll be over soon enough and after that you'll never have it again.

Then again, I recall the fact that I was being taken for a teenager into my 30s. Looking  back, though, I think the advantages of looking young outweigh the disadvantages by a huge margin. Getting carded is a small price to pay in the long run.

Quote from: deven on December 21, 2012, 02:44:10 AM
Last month, on my way to a flight lesson, I stopped for coffee. The elderly woman who rang me up said that kids shouldn't be drinking coffee, but she was very sweet about it. COFFEE. She was actually really nice so it didn't turn awkward and horrifying. I did tell her my actual age when she inquired.

It also doesn't help that I'm really short.

You'll stunt your growth kid!  ;D :D

I wish I could sympathise with the OP but I can't :)  sorry, but I'm 50. I hate being 50 as I am disabled, and I live the life of a 70.

I regularly walk into a seniors building to visit my mother who lives in an apartment building catering to seniors. No one finds me out of place there. I walk with a cane, and I look the part unfortunately.

You get carded, me, I have had people in their 40s ask me if I need help across the street. You think looking too young to buy booze is depressing, try being regarded as helpless :)

It's just a matter of time literally. You cant avoid getting older looking. Me, well I often wonder, what's the point of even trying to look female. all I am going to get, is an old female appearance. Artificial boobs for instance, do they make them in old and sagging style? Hair dos, I'd love to wear it nice and long, but, is long hair kinda dumb looking for someone past 50? And clothing, I hate walking past the high school and the girls go by in short shorts on bodies with no fat on them at all tooth picks for legs, and it's not even a problem for them to wear them so short the bottoms are even with their crotches. That's anatomically impossible at my age. But it doesn't stop me being envious. God I would kill to wear styles that were meant to give men instant erections (even if I have not one iota of interest in men, I'd at least like to look so good I could at least torment them).

Enjoy looking like jail bait.

Hate looking young... hm, it must be opposite day.  ???