Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello y'all,

I'm from the suburbs of Los Angeles, CA specifically the South Central L.A./Compton area. I wanted to gather people's experience on how to deal with the rough side of life, in terms of people, environments, and general adversity. I have always grown in the rough/tough section of town, whether it be Southern Texas/Northeastern Mexico or Southern California. I wanted to offers some tips and maybe others may offer tips to me and others, who have no choice but to live in rough environments.

Tips.

1. Never take the same route coming and going, always vary.
2. Always have shades, the darker the better, that way bad hearted people won't see where your eyeballs are seeing.
3. If possible, always have a friend or two to call on, or to go out with, if you can't, get a feeling of your environment, and usually tough neighborhoods all the bad peeps are sound asleep in the early am(ie. 6am-8am). Very people are early morning people.
4. Always carry a jacket with you, in case you get clocked as tg, so you can hide your sillhoutte, a pair of tennis shoes on is always a good idea. If you get labeled the correct gender and not androynous, still don't let your guard down, cis men/women get victimized all the time.
5. A definite destination your going too and when you plan to come back, pay attention to your environment going and coming back.
6. Don't stare, scan and with your scanning, you take in your surroundings, get used to seeing out of your corner of your eyes,  some people can see up to 180 degrees peripheral vision. I can due to my heritage(ie.mesoamerican).

Lucia,
I know this reads trite, but I just had to point it out.

Forgot
7. Know when your being "maddogged", or when the person(s)s is telegraphing hostile intent or your being tracked/clocked for hostile intents(ie.you get a bad feeling that something is about to go down) so you can evade and escape.
8. Always have a pen or two handy and a notebook, your pens can be used as jabbing weapons, you'd be surprised.
9. Go to where there is lots of people, since some criminals back off when there are lots of witnesses.

Lucia,
P.S. These have no particiular order at times. Sorry if I don't mention the police or ambulance, they are usually reserved/called when all has gone "down"(ie.the crime) has already happened.

IDK what it's like everywhere else, but in the rough parts of New Orleans ...

Don't call the cops. Ever. People will figure out it was you, and they have NO problems murdering you just because you called on a noise violation. I'm not exaggerating even a little, either.

People are generally nice. But obviously don't EVER walk around. Ride a bike. Don't wait for the bus either. Follow the bus route you're going on with your bike.

If you see something bad... get out of there IMMEDIATELY and do NOT make eye contact. People get murdered here on main streets in broad daylight so there's a (small) chance you will see somebody get killed here. If they see you're a witness and know you saw something that can make them go to prison, they will follow you back to your place.

Drive a cheap car. People see a nice car as a target. In fact do that if you visit here. Don't bring your Porche down here and park it in the quarter... people will bust your window out or even steal a tow truck and steal your car (it happens). If you live in the ghetto that shouldn't even be needed to be said though.

Smile, but be short with people. If you walk past them they'll either feel disrespected or that you're afraid. Either way, makes you a target.

Keep a gun in your house and take it to your car. If people see you have a gun, they won't mess with you.

I do believe it, that NOLA can be super tough and calling the cops can get you killed, even here it happens. Some people find it hard to believe that life can be so cheap here in the U.S., but it can be. Another advice I would like to give,
10. Act like you know where your going, don't seem lost, be resolute.
11. True about disrespecting people, there is a fine line, where you can walk past a person(s) and act respectful, like showing you acknowledge their presence without even making eye contact. I tend to make eye contact from a distance, if I"m walking towards a person(s) and then avert my gaze somewhere else, but also showing respect. That usually means that you are not staring at a person(s) and are intent on challenging them.

Surreal, but true. There is a code one follows in rough, tough neighborhoods.

WTF where do you live?  :o
I thought it is just in bad movies

The best self defence is not to be there but if you have to respect people.I worked as a bus driver for 10 years and had to drive through war zones on my routes I was polite and respectful to some pretty rough characters and got respect back that helped a lot.Never show fear no matter how scared you are and NEVER be forced to get in a car or go with someone. Hope this helps,

Quote from: Medusa on December 28, 2012, 02:11:36 AM
WTF where do you live?  :o
I thought it is just in bad movies

9th ward in New Orleans. There are days where 4 or 5 people get shot. The other day somebody killed somebody on a main street in front of heavy traffic at 3pm. A school bus was hit. over that 2 day period 5 people were shot and 4 of them were murdered. Mostly the murders are between people who (committing and being victim of them) are heavily into having "street cred". NOPD cannot get ahold of the situation because they are understaffed, corrupt to core, and the people don't trust them to protect them if they say anything to the police. If you look at a crime map over the past 4 months or so, there's only about 30-40% of the city you can live without hearing a gunshot at least once.

wow, I'm glad I live where I do. I work nights at our only convenience store and I don't even worry bout being robbed. I see deputies around regularly and I can walk anywhere in town at any time without fear of being physically harmed unless I trip or something. But then we only have around 420 people here.

Quote from: Medusa on December 28, 2012, 02:11:36 AM
WTF where do you live?  :o
I thought it is just in bad movies

Every major metropolitan area in the world had this type of areas; you can find them in Paris, Cleveland, Tokyo, London, Amsterdam, etc

Lucia is brave and wise. My wish for Lucia is that she can escape life in those places, they are hell on earth.

So, I'm here at work.  I was just downstairs in the kitchen making a cup of green tea.  There was a small group of nuns hanging around the lunch room.  I think Sister Janice Maureen was mad-dogging me.

Seriously, this is a great big country with lots of cool places to live.  If you're in need of an adrenaline rush, go ride a roller coaster.  But for heavens sake, get out of those neighborhoods if the living is that bad.

I grew up in the West San Fernando Valley, Sonadora; I'm very familiar with South Central and Compton.  And I'm aware that there are very many lovely neighborhoods in the greater Los Angeles area.  There is no value to living in fear.  Why not seek out less hostile environs?

I left Los Angeles in 2000 for Portland, Oregon.  In the part of town where I live today, the police force is bored senseless because NOTHING EVER HAPPENS!  I never even want to go back to Los Angeles for a visit. 

It sounds like you live in Hell.  Why stay?

Peace to you!
Miharu

Quote from: TessaM on December 28, 2012, 11:56:50 AM
wow I would actually be so scared to live in New Orleans from what i've read here (and elsewhere). I understand every city has it's problems but like gun shots every day? People murdered on main streets wow.

How about the St. Laurent or St. Denis Street area? Safe at night?

Quote from: Miharu Barbie on December 28, 2012, 11:52:03 AM
So, I'm here at work.  I was just downstairs in the kitchen making a cup of green tea.  There was a small group of nuns hanging around the lunch room.  I think Sister Janice Maureen was mad-dogging me.

Seriously, this is a great big country with lots of cool places to live.  If you're in need of an adrenaline rush, go ride a roller coaster.  But for heavens sake, get out of those neighborhoods if the living is that bad.

I grew up in the West San Fernando Valley, Sonadora; I'm very familiar with South Central and Compton.  And I'm aware that there are very many lovely neighborhoods in the greater Los Angeles area.  There is no value to living in fear.  Why not seek out less hostile environs?

I left Los Angeles in 2000 for Portland, Oregon.  In the part of town where I live today, the police force is bored senseless because NOTHING EVER HAPPENS!  I never even want to go back to Los Angeles for a visit. 

It sounds like you live in Hell.  Why stay?

Peace to you!
Miharu

Believe me, I'm gonna move to a safer area around here when my lease is up.

Quote from: TessaM on December 28, 2012, 11:56:50 AM
wow I would actually be so scared to live in New Orleans from what i've read here (and elsewhere). I understand every city has it's problems but like gun shots every day? People murdered on main streets wow.

As effed up as it sounds... it's totally worth it :) This city has her mood swings but her highs shine through all the lows. I do not hear gunshots every day, I've only heard them a couple times in 3 months (... ikr?) I do tend to go out of the way to pick up some food or get gas though, especially at night. Uptown, the area around city park, and the suburbs are really the places to live around there though. I didn't know that when I moved and kinda had to rush to get here. So we settled for the ghetto (which was how I lived my teen years anyways). My street isn't actually that bad but the next block over (in almost all directions) is where it gets crazy.

Quote from: TessaM on December 28, 2012, 12:28:10 PM
Family friends went to New Orleans for mardi gras. They said it was a great city and that we should go, but I don't think that they spent much if any time in the 9th ward :P

lol... no, probably not. The French Quarter and the neighborhood next to it, and uptown are the biggest tourist places and places for Mardi Gras. None of the parades go through the 9th. It is a great city, you should come. I'll show u around :)

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on December 28, 2012, 01:19:07 PM
.... you should come. I'll show u around :)

An invitation from a pretty girl, Tessa.... How can you refuse?

Quote from: TessaM on December 28, 2012, 01:35:21 PM
Ill take you up on that offer!

Bring it, sistah!!

Like Aliana said, L.A. like NOLA has its high and its low, I was a baby when brought to L.A., so I had no choice, you grow up used to where you live and oddly appreciate it, I know I do. The great places to visit are Santa Monica, West L.A.,Newport Beach and the Southbay part of Los Angeles. Believe  it or not, parts of Southcentral L.A. and Compton are pretty decent areas. Some parts are notoriously rough. You get a sense of where and when to go where. The block over other than where I live, well, lets just say its rough.  Compton is changing alot, with more hispanics, and its better in some areas and just the same in others, just that it has a different feel. Southcentral L.A., well lets just say, you'd better know where your going, I do, I"m 44 years old and have been living here on and off, 35 years of my life Southcentral L.A., has more Mexican/Central American immigrants, then East L.A., which has more mexican american/central americans born in the U.S.  Through the thick and thins, you get used to life here and tend to appreciate life a little bit more, then in other areas. One thing about where I live, the culture is way less Americanized then East L.A., there is sort of a clash between American and authentic Mexican/Central American culture, Spanish is the first language in some parts of L.A., and waving the mexican/central american/south american flags is common here, other than the U.S. flag. Believe it or not, coming to L.A. here, is still safer than Mexico/Central American and some South American countries, dont' believe me, read their newspapers. In other parts of L.A. County, you hear Persian, Korean, Chinese, Russian, Armenian, Cambodian, Tagalog, to sum it up, over 100 different languages all over the place. Wierd but it adds a nice flavor to the neighborhoods and L.A. metro/County, some people abhor how unamerican some immigrants are, but immigrants they know this is the U.S., and do their best to acclimitize to American ways, its not easy learning a different language or culture.

Anyway, this is a primer if you have no other choice but to survive rough environments, other than a warzone, yea yea, I heard it before we live in a warzone and some parts are becoming a third world, but trust me, warzones are far worse, like Iraq, Afghanistan, Africa, some parts of Asia, even Mexico with their narcoterrorism, America has it light so far.

Lucia,
P.S. just wanted to add the lighter side of this topic.  All in all, L.A. is complicated like life.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on December 27, 2012, 08:30:06 PM
Drive a cheap car. People see a nice car as a target. In fact do that if you visit here. Don't bring your Porche down here and park it in the quarter... people will bust your window out or even steal a tow truck and steal your car (it happens). If you live in the ghetto that shouldn't even be needed to be said though.

Interesting. I've lived in some rough neighborhoods, thankfully not anymore. The hide what you have so people don't steal it I know well, but I learned the opposite on the car. Must just be the type of crime in the neighborhood. Where I lived, when people saw some idiot driving a porsche through the projects, they made it a point not to mess with them because nobody drives an expensive car in the projects unless they're a dealer.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on December 28, 2012, 10:08:43 AM
There are days where 4 or 5 people get shot.

The actually sounds worse than the parts of Philly I was in. Glad I never lived there.

Quote from: Emily52736 on December 28, 2012, 02:28:08 PM
The actually sounds worse than the parts of Philly I was in. Glad I never lived there.

It's pretty dangerous here (my neighborhood), but nobody has messed with me. My neighbors are really nice actually. A gay couple lives right across the street and there are 4 other transsexuals that live in this neighborhood that I know of, with another on the way (my new roommate).  Nobody here messes with you for being trans. It's pretty close to normal here tbh.

Like I said, it's almost all street cred related and IDC about that stuff at all. Really, it's all about respect. If you disrespect someone, you'll get shot. Pretty freaking senseless. The bad part is that it doesn't matter where you are in the city (unless you're uptown, downtown, near or in city park, or in the quarter, marigny, or bywater) ... you have a very small chance of getting hit by a stray bullet at any time of the day.

Thank you for posting this, I grew up in a not so great place but since I looked like a cute girl and harmless I got a pass. I have been concerned as of late about presenting as male and how that will chance my life skills.

I've lived in some pretty rough areas of Southern Calif. To be honest, sometimes I'm not really quite sure how I survived , but I did

There was some pretty bad stuff going on, you heard about someone getting harmed or killed fairly regularly, it is really important to have your wits about you and be aware of your surroundings 

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on December 27, 2012, 08:30:06 PM
IDK what it's like everywhere else, but in the rough parts of New Orleans ...

Don't call the cops. Ever. People will figure out it was you, and they have NO problems murdering you just because you called on a noise violation. I'm not exaggerating even a little, either.

People are generally nice. But obviously don't EVER walk around. Ride a bike. Don't wait for the bus either. Follow the bus route you're going on with your bike.

If you see something bad... get out of there IMMEDIATELY and do NOT make eye contact. People get murdered here on main streets in broad daylight so there's a (small) chance you will see somebody get killed here. If they see you're a witness and know you saw something that can make them go to prison, they will follow you back to your place.

Drive a cheap car. People see a nice car as a target. In fact do that if you visit here. Don't bring your Porche down here and park it in the quarter... people will bust your window out or even steal a tow truck and steal your car (it happens). If you live in the ghetto that shouldn't even be needed to be said though.

Smile, but be short with people. If you walk past them they'll either feel disrespected or that you're afraid. Either way, makes you a target.

Keep a gun in your house and take it to your car. If people see you have a gun, they won't mess with you.

Wow it's returned to the jungle :( . Why don't you head north?

Have you ever been to New Orleans? I love it here! Most people that like it here end up returning when they get sick of it anyways. There's a loveability to this city. I know people that have been robbed and mugged 3+ times that can't stay away.

Ok, to not start a new thread, got done on reading Rory Miller's excellent book called, "Facing Violence". Its like no other book on what precipitates violence and what types of violence men and women will encounter. I strongly suggest anybody who wants to understand "real violence" and how to avoid it, get it. Basically he explains how violence starts.

Men usually encounter social violence, women usually encounter asocial violence.

Social violence is when there is an audience to commit an audience, usually a MD, GMD, SSS, EBD, or a hybrid/combo of it.
Asocial violence is usually when there is no audience, no witnesses and happens in a short timespan, predator attacks.

The Monkey dance usually starts when two males encounter each other and one feels disrespected because of
1. Rule enforcement, or broke the rules.
2. Hierarchical rivalry, or feeling trumped by a underling.
3. Territorial issues, or coming into my territory.
See this often in male prisons, but aso happens in the corporate world or the streets, but differently. The Monkey Dance can also be started due to a combination of these above factors.

Group Monkey Dance is when a group of men commits violence due to the three broken rules above, also see this often in prisons, but also happens in regular life, be it the corporate world or the streets.

SSS or Status Seeking Show is when a lower member of a group shows  other higher ranking members of a group, how tough he is by committing a violent act, happens alot in prisons, but can also be seen in the corporate world or streets.

EBD or Educational Beat Down, when one higher ranking member teaches a lower ranking member of a wrong done, can be as simple as a headsmack by a father to a son for doing or saying something wrong, or it could be a prison/street.corporate fight by a younger member of a gang/group and a older/senior member of a group being taught a lesson.

Usually men don't like to walk away from fights, especially if women are close by, men think it means they are cowards, but women think its the right think to do, its taught to them not to walk away by the media and peer/social groups and can even be hardwired, as in protecting the flock.

Asocial violence can be committed to women and men but usually happens to women more often, due to asocial violence is committed by predators, such as serial killers, serial rapists, serial murderers or a combo/hybrid of the formers.

Two kinds of predators.

Resource predator wants just your monkey, car, jewelry or something of value, and then will leave with no harm done to you, usually a mugger, thief, theft for money or to feed a habit, or drug habit or other dire neccesity, can even be a father/mother stealing to feed their children/child.

Process predator commit the act of violence for just the sake of the act, it means you are the target and there is no negotiation for it or you.

Predators in general need privacy and time to committ the act, therefore you offer no privacy or time, meaning you stick to large social groups or gatherings and you offer no time to commit the crime, you harden the target or you make it apparent that for you to be taken down, its going to cost alot of effort on his part, meaning taking lots of time. Process predators you fight for your life, period. Resource predators you give your valuables, to survive.

Two basic types of tactics used by the predators,
1. Charm blitz, meaning they will use their social skills or charm to then segregate you and use the blitz attack, ala Ted Bundy.
2. Attack blitz, meaning they will use surprise, overwhelming force and violence to submit you.

Process predators are chameleons, or sociopaths, they can be anybody, since they feel no remorse for their crimes, they can be doctors, lawyers, engineers, janitors, dads, sons, you'd never suspect them. Process  predators can also be women, ala Aileen Wournors, but exceedingly rare, per evidence so far.

Lucia,
My other 2 cents.

Wow
In Vancouver I was free to do what ever where ever and what ever
Time I wanted...even totally girlie mode ..

You all live in hell

There is a better way than being scared of everyone
And carrying a gun
But I'm sure since you grew up in it.  You think it's normal
It's not

Not the world I live in..and I went tj the toughest bars ..

Actually its a lot more common then you think, the rough parts of town. Figure Chicago has the highest per capital homicide/drive-bys in the nation. Oakland is not too far behind, L.A., ranks pretty high up, Detroit somewhere too, D.C., NOLA, Northern New Jersey, Fresno, CA,  Houston there in there too, lists goes on and on. The spread of violence such as gangbangers is everywhere, even in my small town where I'm from, Brownsville, Texas/Matamoros Tamaulipas, has seen an epidemic of violence, in the U.S. side though, and not because of narcotraffikers either. Canada has it share of knuckleheads I hear, in Montreal, Toronto, I know Seattle has it bad areas.

Lets not even go into the 3rd world countries, like Mexico?, Central/South America/Asia/Africa, Middle East.

Lucia, my two cents, just trying to educate my sisters and brothers how to stay safe :police:
P.S. Really?

xchristine you have the right to believe as you do..  Understand though that not everywhere is the same. Conversely to many who have posted I lived,worked in a very remote area with lots of transiant traffic and wildlife(bears, Algonquin wolves, also the hybrid genus of coyotes which were a cross between Eastern coyotes and Algonquin wolves,Mountain lions and moose( a pissed off moose will make anyone mess their panties!), I walked to and from my store each day and night(100 yards).. You were on your own..   as per dealing with humans that got stupid there was no cell service in the area and if you called 911 from a hard line for law enforcement it would be anywhere from a half hour,at best, to an hour or more before they could get to this part of the county for a real emergency.. You were on you own.   No one else was going to protect you so guns were not optional but a required deterrent and safty measure.  :)

@ Lorri Kat  :)  I live up in the N.W. now and sometimes we get the occasional wild animal straying into town  :)  I'm not sure what happens, maybe they make a wrong turn at Yellowstone park? But we have a pretty good response team that captures the creatures and sets them back out to the wild

The closest I've seen has been a big cat (Cougar? Mtn lion? I don't remember) in the back yard area of my apt.s and I nearly got run over by a Moose on my way to the store  :laugh:

A big change from the wild animals (people) in the various cities I've lived in  :)

Quote from: V M on July 07, 2013, 09:39:28 PM
@ Lorri Kat  :)  I live up in the N.W. now and sometimes we get the occasional wild animal straying into town  :)  I'm not sure what happens, maybe they make a wrong turn at Yellowstone park? But we have a pretty good response team that captures the creatures and sets them back out to the wild

The closest I've seen has been a big cat (Cougar? Mtn lion? I don't remember) in the back yard area of my apt.s and I nearly got run over by a Moose on my way to the store  :laugh:

A big change from the wild animals (people) in the various cities I've lived in  :)

I lived "In the Wild"  lol

When I first moved to WNY from living inside the 'blue line' in the ADK  people asked what I liked most about the area,WNY.  I'd tell them " I liked not having to sit in the back yard with a rifle while the kids play so they don't get eaten by something" and "I didn't miss walking to work past a treeline with multiple sets of glowing eyes" .. they'd laugh thinking I was joking..  but I wasen't, I was dead serious!.    When the deer and turkys hauled bum away or wern't around you knew the things with fangs were.   sorry for the bit of a thread hy-jack..   situational awareness applies to both two and four legged animals.. as well as the ones that slither..  ewwwww...

At Lori Kat. .
I live up north...and work extreme isolated camps...
I'm used to bears ..I've had to run ..stare them down

Some places are soo isolate you never leave with ouy a radio
Bear spray avalanche beacon bear bangers AND another one
Person...and you have to log your trip when you lwage...and
Return time...and where you are going. ..

I also have lived in Vancouver downtown eastside west side ..
Yadayada...I'm a north west coast Indian...