Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Kia Ora and welcome to this poll,

::) Relationships after transition...

::) Most[ but not all] tend to collapse-people go their separate ways...But there are those who stand the test of time, in fact some [so I have read] become stronger...

::) My ex and I don't have much to do with each other-I haven't 'seen' her in 13 years, but we are not enemies - through our children we have a somewhat cool but amicable relationship. No hostility when we talk on the phone.... 

::) Fortunately, I still have a loving relationship with all my children, however I don't see as much of them as my 'selfish' gene would like, because they are scattered all over the place, two live overseas[ Asia and Europe] two are at uni in another city...But the love we share is "Unconditional "...
 
::) Are you married or in a long term relationship ? Are there children involved ?  Post transition -Are you still together ?

Metta Zenda :)

My girlfreind accepts me as transgender since in the past she had trust issues with people in her past and having things hidden from her. She accepts me and is willing to marry me. We may even plan to have children. I think the issue is more about being able to be open and how accepting my partner is.

I'm not sure whether or not I should answer this poll, since my gf has not *actually* started transitioning yet. She has her first appointment with the endo in January (it was the soonest we could get in after getting the note from her therapist :(). I figure, I can offer my input about our relationship at this point in transition. She came out to me in.. August 2012 I think. It was right before the semester started at school. Honestly, our relationship has gotten SO MUCH BETTER, and before I didn't think it was possible to get better. We started dating in April of 2005 (we were 15 then) so we've been together quite a while, had our ups and downs, and worked through a lot. When she came out to me, it just felt so... right. We've become so open with each other in so many ways since then and she is much less uptight than before. Now that she feels the wheels are in action, she can finally relax. I just can't wait until hormones start!! I always look at all the pretty ladies here and I'm amazed by their changes, I can't wait for the same to happen to my girl!! <3

But yeah, I hope for us to be some of the few that stay together and have a stronger relationship because of it. So far that's how it seems it will turn out. We are in a long term relationship, no kids (we certainly don't want any either!), and we are both college students :)

My ex and I are about as friendly as Israel and Palestine. And the are no peace accords between us.

I didn't lose a single relationship due to transitioning.  I am in the process of a divorce but it is amiciable and we married after I transitioned.  She never knew me as male.  Our issues were more her issues with herself.

My partner and I are still together. I havent started my transition, but im well on my way.we have been together for almost 2 years and our relationship is strong. I've been out as trans since before she met me, so its been out there for her. She didnt understand at first, but over time she grew to accept it. She loves me for me and I couldnt be any luckier.

I'm actually currently breaking up with my long term GF. Trying to find an apartment quickly so I can move. It makes me really sad, as I never wanted to hurt anybody. I still do like her, but she just cannot live with a woman. We also cannot really communicate at all about this.

I'm still pre-transition, although starting in summer. We have no kids, as I never wanted those. Just didn't feel right to have children when I dont feel like a father and I think children would have felt my confusion.

I was hoping to stay friend with her, but that wish is also diminishing quickly. Also many of the things she has said to me are so hurtful, that I don't really know if I would like to see her once I get out. But still, even after all the insults, part of me likes her. I'm a sentimental fool.

One thing is for sure, I will never again move together with anybody. Might date someone, but no living together anymore. This hurts too much to move out.

I've been with my fiancé since September 2008 when I was still pretty much in denial about being trans (in other words, didn't even think about it). We got engaged a year later the same day we started dating.
I started my transition process in 2011 so she's seen it all. Well, I'm still transitioning. Waiting for the top surgery date and all the things following that. But she's still by my side.

I was a bit scared she might leave me when I told her I'm trans despite of knowing she's probably the most open-minded person in this whole country. I don't really remember what she said but she's my biggest supporter and occassionally has been the one to give me the dearly needed kick to my ass so I can get things done. :D
I do remember her saying being with me has made her think about her own sexuality again. At first, she considered herself to be bisexual and now pansexual.

She also told me she had never seen me as a female. At first I was androgyne to her and as the years went by, I started slipping more and more into the masculine direction till I got to the point where I could admit being trans to myself.

We're both looking forward to getting married one day in the future, too. :) She's just having her own silent protest against Finland's law about same sex marriages and I want to wait till my social security number changes so I'll be a man in the law's eyes as well.

Yes, we're still together. :) My wife transitioned back in 2009, and had reassignment surgery this past summer. She went from realizing that she was transgender at all to finishing transition within about 10 months. That was a pretty rough year, with all of the changes and  everything to adjust to, but we are still married and happier together than we were before. She is still my soulmate, and I'm still very lucky to be married to her. Of course, I admit that it probably does help that I'm bisexual and have always preferred women anyway.

Honestly, one of the hardest things about transition was how difficult it was to find any role models for marriages that didn't disintegrate; everyone I could find at the time said it was hopeless, and we might as well separate early rather than wait until was more painful.

No kids, but that was a decision we made a long time ago.

We have known each other since we were teenagers; this was a pretty big change, but probably still isn't as major is what it was like to grow up together. (Just faster!)

We are separated, but we still live together. We actually went out and found a new house to rent where we could each have our own rooms. We are like sisters or best friends now. The divorce will probably be final by the end of this year.

The breakup was super sad, but not very much anger or hostility. Honestly I can't blame her for wanting to move on, I can't expect her to want to be a lesbian any more than I can want to live as a guy. I was really depressed to let her go, and there were a lot of tears. But slowly we've been able to transition our relationship into a really close friendship. We still love each other, but it's just platonic. So we're in each other's lives. Recently she's started talking about the possibility of getting a male friend, and maybe eventually dating. I can't say it's easy, but I'm grateful to have her in my life still. I too will find someone some day I believe.

It's definitely messy, but it's possible for the relationship to transition to something new, but still beautiful. Embrace compassion and empathy and there's a good chance it will come back to you 10 fold.