Community Conversation => Significant Others talk => Topic started by: EmiB on January 06, 2013, 09:10:54 AM Return to Full Version
Title: How I came out on facebook- about self and partner
Post by: EmiB on January 06, 2013, 09:10:54 AM
Post by: EmiB on January 06, 2013, 09:10:54 AM
Lately I had been feeling like I was living in the closet on facebook and I had gotten tired of avoiding the topic of my partner's transition on my home page. I would use gender neutral language when I would refer to my partner and special days in our lives I wold avoid writing about. My wife would post freely about her transition and I supported her in those efforts. I guess I was feeling scared about what others would think of me and that people would judge me once I started writing about my partner's transition. Finally I realized that hiding was not the way I could grow as a person and that I needed support from my friends and community if my wife and I are going to have a long and happy life together. Also, I have made some realizations about my own sexuality through this experience that I wanted to be more honest about that. Anyway, thought I would post what I wrote on facebook! The responses from my friends and family has been amazing and wonderful! I feel so loved and supported! I am so happy that I finally "came out"! So here it is:
I feel that I need to start the year 2013 the right way and be honest with my friends and family about myself and what has been going on in my life. For those of you who know what is going on sorry for the repeat. I want to have things out in the open because I am not ashamed with who I am, so I need to be out!
First, let me say that I am gay (although I prefer to use the word queer to describe my sexual orientation). I knew from a very early age that I was not "straight" and that this label never worked for me. I tried for a really long time to suppress these feelings and I thought by marrying a "man" that I could avoid all the judgements and hassle that goes along with not fitting into the roles that were expected of me. I have spent most of my life trying to be what I thought others needed me to be and I am tired of trying to be what I am not.
Second, (as I am sure a lot of you have noticed by now) my partner is transgendered. Sarah* (born into this world as Sam*) is in the process of changing genders. As difficult as this news was for me to process at first I now feel very positive about this transition. I feel very blessed that the two people that I have fallen in love with in my life were actually the same person. Sarah is my soulmate and my love for her has not changed and has only gotten stronger through this transition. She still laughs at my jokes (which is good because I am not that funny), comforts me when I am sad and always supports me in all that I do. I never would have gotten into teaching without her support and I don't think I could have converted to Judaism without her help.
I know that our life together is going to be difficult and that there will be some challenges that will push us to our limits as individuals. But we are on this journey together and that makes us strong. Sarah* and I are a family and we love each other very much.
*Did not use real names out of respect for our privacy on this forum.
I feel that I need to start the year 2013 the right way and be honest with my friends and family about myself and what has been going on in my life. For those of you who know what is going on sorry for the repeat. I want to have things out in the open because I am not ashamed with who I am, so I need to be out!
First, let me say that I am gay (although I prefer to use the word queer to describe my sexual orientation). I knew from a very early age that I was not "straight" and that this label never worked for me. I tried for a really long time to suppress these feelings and I thought by marrying a "man" that I could avoid all the judgements and hassle that goes along with not fitting into the roles that were expected of me. I have spent most of my life trying to be what I thought others needed me to be and I am tired of trying to be what I am not.
Second, (as I am sure a lot of you have noticed by now) my partner is transgendered. Sarah* (born into this world as Sam*) is in the process of changing genders. As difficult as this news was for me to process at first I now feel very positive about this transition. I feel very blessed that the two people that I have fallen in love with in my life were actually the same person. Sarah is my soulmate and my love for her has not changed and has only gotten stronger through this transition. She still laughs at my jokes (which is good because I am not that funny), comforts me when I am sad and always supports me in all that I do. I never would have gotten into teaching without her support and I don't think I could have converted to Judaism without her help.
I know that our life together is going to be difficult and that there will be some challenges that will push us to our limits as individuals. But we are on this journey together and that makes us strong. Sarah* and I are a family and we love each other very much.
*Did not use real names out of respect for our privacy on this forum.
Title: Re: How I came out on facebook- about self and partner
Post by: spring0721 on January 11, 2013, 10:08:25 AM
Post by: spring0721 on January 11, 2013, 10:08:25 AM
Emi, a big congratulations on the 'coming out' on facebook. I know that took courage. I am wishing you & Sarah a very happy life together :) way to start 2013 right!
Title: Re: How I came out on facebook- about self and partner
Post by: hazel on January 11, 2013, 10:15:15 AM
Post by: hazel on January 11, 2013, 10:15:15 AM
Congratz EmiB! that must have taken a lot of guts but you did it :)
Title: Re: How I came out on facebook- about self and partner
Post by: Button on January 29, 2013, 07:20:59 PM
Post by: Button on January 29, 2013, 07:20:59 PM
Congratulations on your new found courage, you will do great.
Button
Button
Title: Re: How I came out on facebook- about self and partner
Post by: DeeperThanSwords on January 29, 2013, 07:56:18 PM
Post by: DeeperThanSwords on January 29, 2013, 07:56:18 PM
As others have said, congratulations! I admire your courage!