Susan's Place Transgender Resources

How do you know if surgery is right for you?  I know that I want to get rid of my male genitalia but I am not sure I want a vagina.  For MtFs and FtMs maybe the decision is clear but for me for some reason I am not sure what outcome I want.

Anyone felt this way?

Quote from: Metroland on January 15, 2013, 04:30:19 AM
How do you know if surgery is right for you?  I know that I want to get rid of my male genitalia but I am not sure I want a vagina.  For MtFs and FtMs maybe the decision is clear but for me for some reason I am not sure what outcome I want.

Anyone felt this way?

That's always on my mind. I don't hate my male parts and I freely enjoy the advantages they offer, but I don't think my body will be "the right shape" with the parts I have now. I have that argument in my head several times a day.

I'm different in that I DO want a vagina in the worst way. But am I willing to go through the pain, expense, risks, and complications of getting one when I don't know what it will be like.

If you can live with what you've got... I kinda feel you should. The surgery you are talking about is majorly invasive, expensive, frequently has complications and has at most decent results. It takes 18 months to fully recover from this thing. 18 months. Assuming everything goes right. I did it because otherwise I think I'd have lost my mind. If you don't need to, if you aren't absolutely sure... don't.

Having a penis or a vagina or whatever isn't going to change who you are. It's only going to alter your comfort level with your body. Please be sure it's going to make you MORE comfortable before taking that step.

There is a lot of pressure to get vaginoplasty among the trans women here. I don't feel that is always... positive. Make the choice that's right for you, nah?

agfrommd,

I have the thought go through my mind several times a day as well.  My thoughts even extend sometimes to pregnancy which makes it sometimes difficult to process.  What if one gets a vaginoplasty and then realizes that it was something else that one wants?

Sarah7,

The issue I have is that I started my gender exploration when I woke up one day and realized that I want to get rid of my genitals.  Thanks for the info about the surgery and it is a good idea that I feel more comfortable with my body to process things.

Quote from: Metroland on January 15, 2013, 08:37:53 AM
My thoughts even extend sometimes to pregnancy which makes it sometimes difficult to process.  What if one gets a vaginoplasty and then realizes that it was something else that one wants?.

Hi Metroland,

Dysphoria comes in many different shapes, sizes,colours and flavours. That's why therapists are so important in the equation.

The thoughts you posed in your thread need to be separated and dealt with independently. Obviously Vaginaoplasty is very doable. Pregnancy is not a viable option at this point in time, thus can be eliminated. If pregnancy (wanting a family) is still an issue, there is always surrogacy or adoption. Problem solved.

Are you on HRT? If not, that explains your uncertainty.

By virtue of the process you need to go through to be recommended for surgery, generally illuminates all doubts. However if there is the slightest hint of hesitation; cancel it. You can always rebook. Go though with it, THERE's NO COMING BACK.

Huggs
Catherine

When I was younger, I would have jumped at the chance of SRS so I could begin to build a decent life with someone.

Once I met my wife, so much changed. I still, so wanted to be rid of the ugly bit. I really wanted to be able to start to rectify my once lovely, yet so precious and ravaged body. I especially wanted to rediscover the pleasure, even just the desire to care for myself instead of simply passing as someone who doesn't stink.

I cut my facial hair to a few mm because it's easier. I cut my hair short because it's easier. I wash so I don't smell. But I just didn't care because I was functioning. I didn't really care, if that makes any sense.

Now, I couldn't take SRS if it were offered free.

I think, sometimes, we need to accept the knock backs in life as part what it is.

Quote from: Metroland on January 15, 2013, 04:30:19 AM
How do you know if surgery is right for you?  I know that I want to get rid of my male genitalia but I am not sure I want a vagina.  For MtFs and FtMs maybe the decision is clear but for me for some reason I am not sure what outcome I want.

Anyone felt this way?

Anyone else can be free to say that surgery is not necessary and does not cure GID but it sure did for me. It was night and day instant relief. I woke up and I was all girl. Granted those first few months I was packing a gnarly looking frankenpussy but i still loved it, even if it turned out wrong and never became normal after healing, although it started looking like a normal run of the mill vagina  after about 6 months or so of healing.

Why didn't it become normal afterwards?

Quote from: Sarah7 on January 15, 2013, 07:21:36 AM
Having a penis or a vagina or whatever isn't going to change who you are. It's only going to alter your comfort level with your body. Please be sure it's going to make you MORE comfortable before taking that step.

What the wise words! I agree with you, Sarah.

Quote from: Sarah7 on January 15, 2013, 07:21:36 AM
Having a penis or a vagina or whatever isn't going to change who you are. It's only going to alter your comfort level with your body.

Quote from: Albina on January 15, 2013, 09:56:24 AM
What the wise words! I agree with you, Sarah.

I definately think that being more comfortable with my body would change who I am.

I live a lie. I detest myself for that.

Thanks everyone for the support.

Catherine,

I am not on HRT yet.  It is tricky where I live to ask for HRT.  I really want to go on it though.

Zumbagirl,

Thanks for the advice.

Quote from: spacial on January 15, 2013, 09:55:55 AM
Why didn't it become normal afterwards?

Everything healed up just fine. Anyone else who goes through this surgery can attest that it's not exactly a pretty site immediately after the surgery and for a few months afterwards.

Quote from: Zumbagirl on January 15, 2013, 11:31:33 AM
Everything healed up just fine. Anyone else who goes through this surgery can attest that it's not exactly a pretty site immediately after the surgery and for a few months afterwards.

Thank you for the clarification. I understand now and it isn't surprising I suppose.

I'd be happy to just not feel the ugly bit every time I reach down there.

I don't believe in harbouring regrets, but I do so wish more support had been around when I was younger.

Metroland, Surgery is right for you if you want it and it's available. IMO

Thanks Spacial for the support.  It is not currently available however it might be possible later on.