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A.J. Walkley and Lauren Michelle Kinsey

Bi the Bi: Does 'Bisexual' Imply That There Are Only Two Genders?
Posted: 01/16/2013 4:24 pm

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/aj-walkley/bisexual-gender-binary_b_2425081.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/aj-walkley/bisexual-gender-binary_b_2425081.html)

Bi the Bi: Two Bi Writers on Big Bi Issues

This blog post is part of an ongoing conversation between two bisexual activists. A.J. Walkley and Lauren Michelle Kinsey are both monogamous, bisexual, cisgender females who are in long-term relationships. A.J. is in a relationship with a cisgender male, and Lauren is in a relationship with a cisgender female. Both A.J. and Lauren are committed to remaining visible as bisexuals in spite of society's tendency to want to label A.J. as heterosexual and Lauren as a lesbian. Together they came up with the idea for "Bi the Bi: Two Bi Writers on Big Bi Issues" as a way to help eliminate stereotypes and bias against people in the bisexual community.

Question: "Does 'bisexual' imply that there are only two genders?"

A.J.: The idea that bisexuals are attracted to only two genders is an incredibly common stereotype of all bisexuals. Many people assume that the "bi" aspect of the word "bisexuality" implies a gender binary, and that those who identify as bisexual are only attracted to males and females. Though there are definitely bisexual individuals who are only attracted to cisgender people with male and female gender identities, there are also bisexuals who are attracted to people who are transgender, intersex, genderqueer and more; this assumed definition of "bisexual" leaves out those of us who are attracted to gender-nonconforming people -- those who fall outside the "male" and "female" ends of an incredibly wide gender spectrum. Last summer I actually wrote a blog post about this issue in which I explained that, according to the definition of bisexuality put forth in the 1990 "Bisexual Manifesto," bisexuality does not "assume that there are only two genders." On the contrary, the binary implied in the word "bisexual" pertains to our ability to be attracted both to individuals who are the "same" as us and to those are "different" from us -- meaning we have the capacity to be attracted to people all across the gender and sexuality spectra.

Could probably stand to consider renaming it. The bad assumptions are natural to make, given the roots of the word, even though in practice, this observation seems to be true more times than not?  Still, the word has been around a long time, so it's understandable that many of us are attached to it. Food for thought.

Kia Ora,

::) When I 'hear' the term bi-sexual [example "That person is a bi-sexual "] the image that comes to mind is that the bi-sexual person is a buyer of sexy underwear... ;)

Metta Zenda :)

Technical  yes there are two genders .
Emotional there are so many more.
For most people its simple sexual interest in both genders.

I agree, Bi exists with the technical definition of gender.  Anything else would be too vast~

Female and Male have varying definitions but multi-sexual just sounds weird.

Kia Ora,

Some people see the term bi-sexual to mean 'belonging' to both sexes-I guess one could even say both the terms 'androgynous' and bi-sexual have a similar meaning...

::) Just a thought-perhaps edging its way slightly out of the square...

Meta Zenda :)

@Zenda - The term is vague enough that I feel sure that there are many different definitions, depending on who you are. Almost certainly affected by my long-time attempt to adopt an androgynous presentation, despite my strong identification with/as female, those I have talked to about their particular definitions have tended to be attracted to fluidity, androgyny and so on, to varying degrees. But that doesn't mean they have the singular or authoritative definition.

I was only musing on the inherent challenge in knowing what the word means to anyone, without a longer conversation among specific individuals.

pansexual has been put forth as an alternative term. "Bisexual" is a subset of "pansexual" only in that bisexual could mean that you are only attracted to some genders or sexes. However, the term bisexual is definitely much broader than to cover those attracted to exclusively male and female genders.

Quote from: BlonT on January 19, 2013, 08:59:52 AM
Technical  yes there are two genders .

D: Hon, the reason for why a good number of us are here is because there are many more genders than just two! :P

I've seen polysexual be used for attraction to a "third gender" but for people who aren't attracted to the same sex (as in the case of pansexual).

So in the case of straight men who are attracted to pre-op/non-op transgirls (we all know them as ->-bleeped-<-s obviously) they would be poly.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polysexuality (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polysexuality)

"Polysexuality encompases many, but not necessarily all, sexualities."

So someone who has specific tastes I guess  :laugh:

In describing myself, I prefer polysexual to pansexual (and both over bisexual) because poly- is 'many' and pan- is 'all' and bi- is 'two/twice', and I've noticed that in the same way that in many people's minds bisexual means "you like men and women", people seem to assume pansexual means "you fancy everyone", and I don't. Polysexual feels 'best fit' as shorthand for "I'm attracted to certain people, and when I am, I'm attracted to them regardless of (and before actually knowing) what gender they are."

Perhaps it's a generational thing, but bisexual just does have too much of that binary-implying quality about it to feel like it fits me. I'm unconvinced by the "but it means like-me-and-different-from-me" argument - in most people's minds, it doesn't mean that - or not yet, anyway.

Quote from: Padma on January 20, 2013, 12:45:54 AM
In describing myself, I prefer polysexual to pansexual (and both over bisexual) because poly- is 'many' and pan- is 'all' and bi- is 'two/twice', and I've noticed that in the same way that in many people's minds bisexual means "you like men and women", people seem to assume pansexual means "you fancy everyone", and I don't. Polysexual feels 'best fit' as shorthand for "I'm attracted to certain people, and when I am, I'm attracted to them regardless of (and before actually knowing) what gender they are."

Perhaps it's a generational thing, but bisexual just does have too much of that binary-implying quality about it to feel like it fits me. I'm unconvinced by the "but it means like-me-and-different-from-me" argument - in most people's minds, it doesn't mean that - or not yet, anyway.

Pan-sexuality is nice  ;D but I wish it didn't make me think of a frying pan.

or this cute little runt
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages3.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20091016174324%2Fdragonballaf%2Fimages%2F2%2F26%2FPan_1.jpg&hash=d6f94ee25d6aca166c89daf63cabb223c40b7eba)

I've seen bisexual used to mean that a person is attracted to genders both similar to and different from their own, so it could encompass non-binary genders as well.

Quote from: Cain on January 20, 2013, 12:16:49 PM
I've seen bisexual used to mean that a person is attracted to genders both similar to and different from their own, so it could encompass non-binary genders as well.

It's definitely coming to mean that more, within certain circles - but the public perception of it is still a product of the public assumption of binary as the-way-things-are, so for me, use of the term bisexual, though both kind of unavoidable and convenient, continues to reinforce that binary perception.

I think it does sort of carry that implication.

Thing is, we're of a species which mostly has two subtypes (male and female). So...

1. There's pretty good evidence that human brains are at least partially pre-wired, in general, to subdivide the species that way.
2. And to identify the self as one of these subtypes.
2. And to find members of one of these subtypes attractive, but not the other.

Except that of course, not all of these things always happen, but even when one of them doesn't quite turn out to be true, the others tend to be still there as default assumptions. So even though someone may not show any preference in partners based on sex, gender, or anything like that, the easiest way for most people to think of this is "attracted to both men and women".

I think this is a case where there is probably some benefit to occasionally pointing out in passing that, hey, there's other options here, but trying to replace the word is probably unrewarding; sometimes we end up with words with etymologies rooted in beliefs which have been long-discredited. (e.g., "hysterical".) No real point in trying to fix all of them, I suspect.

So... Yes, the term sort of implies only two genders, but to be fair, at least a fair number of bisexual people are only attracted to people of those genders, and find people who are of other genders less attractive, so it's probably even accurate sometimes. I know at least one person who identifies as "pansexual" to make this distinction.

(Disclaimer: I have no clue at all how I would be categorized, and consider the point moot for the forseeable future, since I'm happily married.)