Susan's Place Transgender Resources

How fast did you transition out of androgynous mode to part / full time?

Lately I've been feeling a ton of support from friends and work, and in just the past couple of days it feels like things are moving really, really fast. The most important thing to note is that upon coming out I've been telling people I won't even be trying to present like a female for months, but something is urging me along quicker than I had expected.

I am about to hit the 2 month mark on HRT implants. I've gotten some noticeable face softening, breast growth, muscle reduction, and a few people have told me that my eyes look a lot different- wider or bigger or something. Whatever it is, it is very exciting to me and to others around me... but the compliments and positivity seem to be driving my dysphoria into a craze to "get there".

Last night was the first time I wore heels going out with some friends and began introducing myself by my new name to people I hadn't met before. Everything seemed ok, though. Then this morning I had my hair up in a ponytail for the first time and my roommate did a double take and said "wow, you look great!". Not helping matters... or is it??? So confused at the moment. Should I be worried about moving faster than I said I would?

What was your transition timeline like? (coming out/HRT/part time/full time) I know everyone has vastly different circumstances but I feel like hearing some of y'alls experiences might ease my mind a little- or maybe I should be more cautious.

Mine was from January to September 2008.  From HRT to part time to full time and name change.

You go at your own pace.  Whatever makes the most comfortable sense to you.

Mine was hrt for 6 months before fulltime.

SRS was about 3 years after starting HRT

My motto is transitioning is not suppose to be a race. I've seen girls get Facial Feminization Surgery just a few months after their first Trans therapy and one month after hrt...seen girls get breast augmentations 4 months after starting HRT. Seen girls find a therapist to approve SRS just 4 months after deciding to transition.

Those who got FFS too early often regretpted it (from my experience). Those who got Breat Augmentation too fast before proper breast development looks like they have distorted breasts...and know one who got SRS so fast she became suicidal a couple months later and another girl never appreciated the SRS her parents paid for and never bothered to really dialate. She closed up a month after SRS.

Of course your mileage may vary but when I see people rush transitioning like it was the Indy 500 I sometimes think they are trying to run away from other things unrelated to transgender feelings. Just my opinion.

This is not a marathon you can move at your on pace. If you think you can get away with going FT sooner that planed I say go for it. But if you don't feel your ready waiting a little bit longer won't hurt you. I know this is not really an answer but but it comes down to how comfortable you are with yourself to move forward. You seem to have a lot of supportive people around you which is awesome a lot people like us don't have that. personally I would love to be in you position right now. But I know I'm not ready to go FT yet.

I was hrt two years before fulltime and 7 years later since fulltime, I'm still pre-op due to too poor to afford surgery.

People need to go at the pace they are comfortable with, for some, it'll be lickity split, for others, the tortoise may pass them by on the way to the finish line. Main thing is to make sure you are ready for each step and that you aren't going so fast you may be finished and then go "wtf did I do?" and end up regretting it. Thinking and research before doing is best, know what you are getting into as best as you can.

Sorry for misspellins...tablet has autocorrect ×\

Kia Ora JG,

I was around 18 months in my Hrt induced androgynous cocoon..Society broke  me out by using pronoun cutters...I was never really part-time...I went from androgynous looking to full-time female...

I think it just depends on the kind of environment one finds them self in [ie a trans-friendly one or a more hostile one]-also ones personal circumstances...



Metta Zenda :)

I'm on the slower than dirt one. I came out over 10 years ago and I just started discussing hormones with my therapist about a week ago. I don't expect to go full time for at least two years and my current part-time consists of mostly support groups and home.

I often catch myself rushing and then freaking out a little bit.....okay a lot haha, so I have to take a deep breath and realize like everyone said, it's not a race and you have to go at a pace comfortable for you.

Ms Obrien-
Definitely doesn't feel like a race. I'm actually super comfortable with my pace, too. It's by far the acceptance of others I was most concerned with. I talked to one of my inner circle friends today who is quite in the know as far as the group as a whole, and I became more comfortable with the fact that there is nobody to worry about. There hasn't been any talking behind my back and people are jazzed to see me act so comfortably. It was a nice reassurance to hear, I needed it.

Annah-
I've done a lot of research about timing of surgeries and I know that FFS won't be in my cards until at least 18 months on HRT. Same goes for SRS, I'm not even really thinking about it right now.. it is a far ways off. I'm not even concerned with getting any surgeries at the moment, besides my trachea shave which is scheduled for feb 20th... woot! I'm super happy with how things are going as far as effects from the hormones alone. The changes have been subtle, but noticeable!

Heather-
Thank you for the kind words and the reassurance. I do feel incredibly lucky to have the support group I have, I know it's rare and I haven't forgotten it for one second through this process so far. The inner circle for me is vast and large.

crazy-
Regret should definitely be a consideration at a fast pace towards presenting as a female- even part time. If there is one thing I've learned in life, it's that not having any regrets is key. I think I would only have regrets if somehow all of a sudden I wasn't accepted by my friends- not likely I guess. Personally, I know that transitioning is right for me- I've been researching HRT for almost 10 years and it took over 3 years since my major "ah ha!" moment slapped me in the face with the thought that I should consider transition. I've been thinking about this for a long, long time. Maybe that's why I feel so comfy in my own [new] shoes ;)

Zenda-
I am indeed blessed with what you would call a very trans friendly environment. I am sure of it. Sometimes I even feel encouraged by certain people, though I'm sure that's not uncommon. It's never been too much, though. I haven't at any point felt pushed to go faster or that I am not making my own decisions. Everything so far feels right, I just still always have my second guesses hence this thread.

Emily-
That's kind of how I felt, except I didn't come out to myself completely until just recently (November). I think that's what makes me feel like I am moving kind of fast. That and over the past week I feel that my presentation has been going through a massive growth spurt. It feels amazing, I just don't want to get too caught up in the excitement and move faster than my friends can handle.

Emma-
Yeah I've definitely been getting that, too- with the rushing and slightly anxiety fueled chilling out moments. I think a big thing was reading something either here or in an article (I forget where) that asked the question "If you could snap your fingers and be instantly switched to the proper gender (recovered from post-op and everything) and everyone would already accept you for who you really are, would you do it?" For me, the answer has been unequivocally YES ever since coming out to myself. But since that is an impossibility, I have to chill out a bit and be patient!

Thanks for sharing your own experiences & food for thought is always appreciated. Hope you have all had a great weekend :D

JG

for me from start to finish was almost six months. someone really pushed me to do it and not over think it or to really even think about it to much. they said they knew it would make me happy.

For me I haven't even started HRT yet, but I'm planning on taking my time..I'd rather be seen as woman in man's clothes than vice versa.

I've only recently started seeing a therapist, so I'm still taking things slow. Like you, I've slowly started to tell friends and it has gone well so far.  I don't want to rush into things too quickly. But, as others have said it's really up to your personal preference. Just do what feels right to you.

You go at your own pace.  Some people take a long time and some no time at all.

I came out to my friends.  Two months later I was on HRT.  Less than a month after that I was full time.  A year after that I had my GRS.  But I didn't rush through it, despite how quickly it went.  I took each step when I was ready.

Only you can determine when you are ready.  A good counselor can help you make those decisions for yourself.  Good luck on your journey to your true self, however long it takes.

- Kate

Well guys and gals, today I happily came to terms with the fact that I am now full time.

!!!!!!!!!

I realized it earlier when I was like wait.. when was the last time I've even worn a single article of male clothing at all? Could I even stand wearing another piece of mens clothing at this point?? No, absolutely not. Just the thought of presenting male at all makes me dysphoric. That coupled with the fact that I just FEEL like a girl at all times. Everything about me feels feminine in nature, and my life reflects that in my friends, family, and workplace.

Getting new shoes made all the difference... it was the tipping point. SHOES... go figure. Such a GIRL, hah. I love shoes. They have literally changed my life.

Still a little ways off from wearing dresses & skirts out and about, but I am getting there. My gender therapist told me today I would likely be getting miss'ed and maam'ed consistently by the time we meet again in a month. My body is changing rapidly, especially the face / eye area. I can hardly believe my eyes.

So. freakin. happy.

Quote from: Jennygirl on January 31, 2013, 05:55:52 AM
Well guys and gals, today I happily came to terms with the fact that I am now full time.

!!!!!!!!!

I realized it earlier when I was like wait.. when was the last time I've even worn a single article of male clothing at all? Could I even stand wearing another piece of mens clothing at this point?? No, absolutely not. Just the thought of presenting male at all makes me dysphoric. That coupled with the fact that I just FEEL like a girl at all times. Everything about me feels feminine in nature, and my life reflects that in my friends, family, and workplace.

Getting new shoes made all the difference... it was the tipping point. SHOES... go figure. Such a GIRL, hah. I love shoes. They have literally changed my life.

Still a little ways off from wearing dresses & skirts out and about, but I am getting there. My gender therapist told me today I would likely be getting miss'ed and maam'ed consistently by the time we meet again in a month. My body is changing rapidly, especially the face / eye area. I can hardly believe my eyes.

So. freakin. happy.

Congratulation's!!! It must feel incredible I just can't wait to know the feeling. 

Quote from: Jennygirl on January 31, 2013, 05:55:52 AM
Well guys and gals, today I happily came to terms with the fact that I am now full time.

!!!!!!!!!

I realized it earlier when I was like wait.. when was the last time I've even worn a single article of male clothing at all? Could I even stand wearing another piece of mens clothing at this point?? No, absolutely not. Just the thought of presenting male at all makes me dysphoric. That coupled with the fact that I just FEEL like a girl at all times. Everything about me feels feminine in nature, and my life reflects that in my friends, family, and workplace.

Getting new shoes made all the difference... it was the tipping point. SHOES... go figure. Such a GIRL, hah. I love shoes. They have literally changed my life.

Still a little ways off from wearing dresses & skirts out and about, but I am getting there. My gender therapist told me today I would likely be getting miss'ed and maam'ed consistently by the time we meet again in a month. My body is changing rapidly, especially the face / eye area. I can hardly believe my eyes.

So. freakin. happy.

:)

Ohhhh  Jenny.  All I can say is ....

PSY - GANGNAM STYLE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0)

Congratulations

Congratulations, Jenny! :)

Quote from: Jennygirl on January 31, 2013, 05:55:52 AM
Well guys and gals, today I happily came to terms with the fact that I am now full time.

!!!!!!!!!

I realized it earlier when I was like wait.. when was the last time I've even worn a single article of male clothing at all? Could I even stand wearing another piece of mens clothing at this point?? No, absolutely not. Just the thought of presenting male at all makes me dysphoric. That coupled with the fact that I just FEEL like a girl at all times. Everything about me feels feminine in nature, and my life reflects that in my friends, family, and workplace.

Getting new shoes made all the difference... it was the tipping point. SHOES... go figure. Such a GIRL, hah. I love shoes. They have literally changed my life.

Still a little ways off from wearing dresses & skirts out and about, but I am getting there. My gender therapist told me today I would likely be getting miss'ed and maam'ed consistently by the time we meet again in a month. My body is changing rapidly, especially the face / eye area. I can hardly believe my eyes.

So. freakin. happy.

congrats girl.isn't it funny how it just sneaks up on you? ;)

Thank uuuuuuu for all the congratulatory responses... :D :D Sorry I have to do this.... YippppeeEE!!!

It IS amazing how it snuck up. And wow does it feel incredible to say the least. I have always read posts from folks here about how amazing full time is, and I can now attest... you people speak the TRUTH!

My confidence has been through the roof all day, I was strutting my stuff all over the office in my favorite pair of shoes- my new sneaker wedges... lol. One of my male coworkers did a double take and was like "DAMN, nice outfit! You are really changing everything"... *smiles with nod of approval* My response was a tiny little "uh huh" and a smile so big it hurt. Probably going to get smile lines if this keeps up, crap!! ...just kiddn ;)

Anyway I think this answers my question... There really is no "too fast" as far as transition goes. As long as you know it's right, are comfortable, and the people around you are stoked to see the changes when you test the water, there is nothing wrong with going at whatever pace you want. As far as transition overall- if I can feel half as good as I did today tomorrow et al it will easily become the best year of my life so far. Alright I should cut this off now before my excitedness takes this post into happiness overdrive land.

SO STOKED.. OK must go now!

Love you susans!

Fantastic post Sis.

So happy for you.

I think it was the weekend after I went FT that I gathered all of my boy clothes and trashed them. I could never contemplate wearing them again. Oh I did keep one set of gardening/work/doing dirty stuff boy clothes. I had some tasks last weekend that were of that type. I couldn't wear them.

So I got some girl work-outside clothes and threw the boy ones in the trash  :laugh:

Enjoy your glorious new life.

:icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch:

Cindy

My therapist also commented about the "more rapid" transition than I first anticipated, and it was common for girls to significantly speed up their transition process faster than they planned.  I didn't even plan on venturing out in public as Kimberly until I'd been on HRT for months and lost a significant amount of muscle mass.  The plan for FFS/GRS was to wait at least one year for FFS and then live full time and let the hormones continue to do their magic for another six months/year after FFS before GRS.  However, after going to my first Therapy appointment in femme and experiencing the freedom of being Kimberly in public all that changed.  I even went to my first endo appt as Kimberly (waiting for hormone scrips to arrive in the mail now YAY!!).   The challenge for me (especially for those of us who do not pass very well -yet) has been talking/interacting with strangers.  The more I experience as Kimberly the more comfortable I feel and the more I like it, and the more I want to go full time :)

Quote from: Cindy James on February 01, 2013, 02:57:02 AM
Fantastic post Sis.

So happy for you.

I think it was the weekend after I went FT that I gathered all of my boy clothes and trashed them. I could never contemplate wearing them again. Oh I did keep one set of gardening/work/doing dirty stuff boy clothes. I had some tasks last weekend that were of that type. I couldn't wear them.

So I got some girl work-outside clothes and threw the boy ones in the trash  :laugh:

Enjoy your glorious new life.

:icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch: :icon_bunch:

Cindy

I just had to add - I ended up wearing cut off shorts and a boob tube, when I asked a neighbour for help to lift something he almost burst a blood vessel. Not sure where >:-)