Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I like talking to people. It makes for a nice way to pass the time, some new insights, and a nice story to tell. Plus, train commutes are public, so no one is likely going to try something suspicious. It's a perfect way to spend an otherwise boring commute!

What are your thoughts? Elaborate, if desired.

Other. I like looking at the world go by when I'm on a train.

There you go, Devlyn! Happy pondering.  :)

Look at the poll! 100% of people see it my way!

Oops, I forgot to vote. Anywho, I like talking to people. It makes them smile to have a nice conversation, and that's enough reward for me.  :)

I'm rarely on a train, but I'll talk to anyone I run into, anywhere. I probably don't have to tell you, some people just give you funny looks or ignore you at that point.

That's too bad. I do get funny looks, but mostly because it's weird to have a person talk to you in NYC.  :laugh:

Once they get over that, it's all peachy keen.  ;D

Frick no. I'm way too flippin shy and if random people talk to me I get nervous.

If I'm with friends I'll talk, but otherwise I'm that person staring out the window while listening to music (I do this on busses, too)

My only real experience with trains stateside is Amtrak's California Zypher, Late For Sure Lakeshore Limited, the San Joaquin, and the Capital Limited along with some time on the NEC.  I LOVE chatting with people in the dining car.  You show up, some other people show up, and hey!  Dinner buddies!  I think it's one the best parts about traveling by train.  Even when I looked like a boy I felt this way.

/me ♥ Amtrak

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on February 05, 2013, 09:00:55 PM
Frick no. I'm way too flippin shy and if random people talk to me I get nervous.

*Puts on therapist glasses*... And why might that be so?  ???

Quote from: Misato33 on February 05, 2013, 09:22:52 PM
My only real experience with trains stateside is Amtrak's California Zypher, Late For Sure Lakeshore Limited, the San Joaquin, and the Capital Limited along with some time on the NEC.  I LOVE chatting with people in the dining car.  You show up, some other people show up, and hey!  Dinner buddies!  I think it's one the best parts about traveling by train.  Even when I looked like a boy I felt this way.

I would LOVE that! Dinner buddies! I never went on a luxury train like that. I came to the US by boat.  :P

Quote from: DianaP on February 05, 2013, 09:25:28 PM
*Puts on therapist glasses*... And why might that be so?  ???

I have a social anxiety disorder.

Well, that's too bad. It's really fun to talk to people. What exactly scares you about talking?

Mostly that I'll say something that's incredibly awkward and they'll think I'm weird or whatever.

I read manuscripts with my music on during my commute. I wouldn't object if someone wanted to talk to me, but I'm not sure I'd notice. Too busy. I have a 40min commute so... Wasting 80mins a day would be horrific.

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on February 05, 2013, 09:43:26 PM
Mostly that I'll say something that's incredibly awkward and they'll think I'm weird or whatever.

There's a good kind of weird. Heck, look at your avatar.  :P Be yourself. The worst that can happen is that the person walks away.

Quote from: Sarah7 on February 05, 2013, 09:51:26 PM
I have a 40min commute so... Wasting 80mins a day would be horrific.

One of the reasons I prefer to commute by bicycle. I feel that sitting on a train is a waste, whereas riding is fun and gives me exercise. Then again, it's nice if I have a good conversation, because I had fun on the train.  :)

I have never talked to a stranger on a train in my life and if I ever move to somewhere where I have to take a train daily then I wouldn't be starting.  I don't do so well with strangers.  I much prefer to be able to look out the window and be left alone.  It doesn't help I get motion sick so I'm no fun on a train anyway.

How about NOPE.
Clear difference with some people in cases like these. Finns don't talk to strangers unless they really - I mean REALLY - have to.

A fine way to avoid that is to listen to music so loudly people will realise and think "oh, he ain't gonna hear me anyway" and stare out of the window or read a magazine.
Besides, I prefer to be left alone in a train mostly because I usually have to take on so early in the morning and I'm like a bear who's been shot in the butt. Not very charming company in other words.

I have had a few people talk to me. I don't really mind it, but sometimes it's awkward because I don't understand their accents and then I feel so bad. :(

A sign from the London Underground

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthemole.site.aplus.net%2Fno_talking.jpg&hash=f8eef97a61ddc290b823ee1c3d454cf635473eeb)

Hi.

This really comes down to how comforable you are around people & wether you have the confidence to carry on a conversation  with others . when youv stood in front of 100's & taken the meeting 's & talked for an hour a few times, & greeted people who are shy & sort of not comfortable around others & you make them feel they can be .

I dought wether im on the train or other transport or where ever will make any difference to me. & being in the public domain , just gives you the expreance to help you over come any fear of not talking with strangers or others,

I allso so know what its like  being the shy fearfull person around others with no confidence no talking let alone carry a confersation on.

...noeleena...

Quote from: Pica Pica on February 06, 2013, 01:24:56 AM
A sign from the London Underground

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthemole.site.aplus.net%2Fno_talking.jpg&hash=f8eef97a61ddc290b823ee1c3d454cf635473eeb)

Good to see the British reserve is being protected!! Damn fine stuff!

You can take that tube direct to the Diogenes club.

Sorry DianaP you would never be allowed membership! Silly talkative woman. Humpppphhh

Quote from: Sarah7 on February 05, 2013, 09:51:26 PM
I read manuscripts with my music on during my commute. I wouldn't object if someone wanted to talk to me, but I'm not sure I'd notice. Too busy. I have a 40min commute so... Wasting 80mins a day would be horrific.

The 59Th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqU9PqIhuIY#)

I ride the train every day and I tend to just zone out or read. My kid if she's with me will strike up conversations with just about anybody, so I wrangle those when I have to. Sometimes it's interesting enough that I'm glad for the interaction but usually I don't have much enthusiasm for transit socializing.

I've never ridden on a train but I did have to commute for 4.5 hours on a plane every week for a few years recently. I had a few trips sitting next to people that would talk and talk and talk and I just don't have that many words to say, so I learned to quickly put on my headphones to discourage that. I'm not anti social but a lot of the time i prefer to be in my head and not chatting with people.

I don't commute via train, but I do take 3 different buses every morning. I talk to anyone and everyone. I have made some great friends on the bus. I am a total chatter box, so it is the perfect environment for me.

Quote from: Cindy James on February 06, 2013, 02:06:36 AM
Good to see the British reserve is being protected!! Damn fine stuff!

You can take that tube direct to the Diogenes club.

Sorry DianaP you would never be allowed membership! Silly talkative woman. Humpppphhh

It's not reserve it's simple manners not to talk to someone.

I went up north and at every shop they asked me how I was and where I was from, that's not polite, it's just that they are so bored that would have nothing to talk about if they weren't so nosey because there is nothing going on.

When I went to New Jersey, the first thing a man said to me there was "hey, you're British, I love your Doctor Who but I hate your socialism." To which my inner voice was saying "I couldn't give a flying one for your stupid opinions and besides, if it wasn't for the socialistic way the BBC is funded, there would be no Doctor Who."

'Friendliness' is often just aggressive intrusiveness in a smiling mask.

Quote from: Pica Pica on February 06, 2013, 12:02:56 PM
It's not reserve it's simple manners not to talk to someone.

'Friendliness' is often just aggressive intrusiveness in a smiling mask.

You can always decline to answer any questions you don't want to.... To be fair, it being polite not to talk to someone is subjective. Me enjoying a friendly chat doesn't make me rude, or at least to me.  :)

Where I come from, it's okay to talk to people. After all, you're just trying to have an engaging conversation that both parties will benefit from. You can always just say that you don't want to talk.  :)

Then again, if you break your leg and ask someone if he or she has a phone to call 911 with, is that nosy?   :P

Quote from: DianaP on February 06, 2013, 03:07:30 PM
Then again, if you break your leg and ask someone if he or she has a phone to call 911 with, is that nosy?   :P

On the tube, yes.

Quote from: Pica Pica on February 06, 2013, 05:22:37 PM
On the tube, yes.

Wait, are you being sarcastic? What should you do, limp to the hospital?  :laugh:

As long as you do it quietly, that'd be fine.

You're so funny, Pica!  :laugh:

Why can't you be this personable in the flesh?  ;)

It must be the oozing bile...

That said i did talk to a stranger on the tube once, old guy, helped him take his luggage to the next platform.

I opted for 'I would like to, but I'm too shy/scared'. I was stuck between that one and 'I wouldn't, but I wouldn't mind if someone started a conversation with me'. I like meeting new people and talking to strangers, whether it be in the queue of a shop or on the bus etc, I'm just always too nervous to start them myself in case they feel uncomfortable like I'm going to attack them or something because I'm a teenager and probably look a bit dodgy. I always smile to people and say hello even if I don't know them, but to me that's just common courtesy. On a train once a lady started singing along to some music, which soon had the whole carriage singing, including myself. That was a good experience and I wish there were more people who are open to talk but then again they could just be nervous like me. Kind of just rambling on now; it's late haha.

Joey

The only time I was on a train(the old coal fired steam engine one at that), I was with people I knew.  On planes, I have talked to people if they seem to want to talk. I'm not going to just annoy them while I'm within easy range of a backhand.

I talk to people at checkouts and in lines a lot though. 

Quote from: DianaP on February 05, 2013, 09:25:28 PM
I never went on a luxury train like that.

Amtrak ain't luxury, even in first class.  Even in a family room.  The toilet was in the shower so when you took a shower the TP it all soggy. Ze plastic flap! It does noth-zing!

Still, I love it.  Even with all it's flaws, I love it.

But Amtrak does also seem chock full of some of the hardest working people I ever met.  I have no idea how the car attendants do their jobs with such great attitudes on such little sleep. 

Quote from: Pica Pica on February 06, 2013, 12:02:56 PM
When I went to New Jersey, the first thing a man said to me there was "hey, you're British, I love your Doctor Who but I hate your socialism." To which my inner voice was saying "I couldn't give a flying one for your stupid opinions and besides, if it wasn't for the socialistic way the BBC is funded, there would be no Doctor Who."

I always laugh at Brits because they talk funny and I'm childish. :laugh:

Quote from: Misato33 on February 06, 2013, 11:26:17 PM
Amtrak ain't luxury, even in first class.  Even in a family room.  The toilet was in the shower so when you took a shower the TP it all soggy. Ze plastic flap! It does noth-zing!

Well, as far as I'm concerned, if you've got a shower in there, it's pretty swanky.  :P

Quote from: Felix on February 06, 2013, 11:34:07 PM
I always laugh at Brits because they talk funny and I'm childish. :laugh:

I once got into a conversation with a British person on the train, and it was so cool! 23 minutes of sexy accent.  :embarrassed:

Quote from: DianaP on February 06, 2013, 03:07:30 PM
You can always decline to answer any questions you don't want to.... To be fair, it being polite not to talk to someone is subjective. Me enjoying a friendly chat doesn't make me rude, or at least to me.  :)

Where I come from, it's okay to talk to people. After all, you're just trying to have an engaging conversation that both parties will benefit from. You can always just say that you don't want to talk.  :)

Then again, if you break your leg and ask someone if he or she has a phone to call 911 with, is that nosy?   :P

To the first:  My mom talks to everyone she can, even on the train.  She never did it on the tube in London, but on the train ride back to Swaffham she would talk to people who sat close by.  They always willingly talked back and she'd have pretty cool conversations with people from all over the British Isles.  I don't think she was being rude or anything and neither did they.

To the second:  It's very nerve wracking to tell someone you don't want to talk.  It's generally considered impolite to do so and it can often be hard to find the right way to say it without offending that person.  I've had people tell me "Hey, if you don't want to talk, just say so" and then go around and get huffy when I tell them I'd like to read or take a nap or something similar.  So...I just generally avoid all eye contact when in situations like that and pull out a book and/or sleep as I generally have to take Dramamine before any plane trip or train ride.

I am a regular traveler via rail. I use local rail AND national rail. Most everyone I have met have been very pleasant, welcoming, and quite willing to have conversations. I have had conversations about almost everything you can imagine, except things that were obviously topics that two new people never talk about.

I have met some nasty people with negative attitudes, and I have to say that the worst of them have been from far northern California.

When it comes to being social on a train, I stick to some very common sense rules that go like this: stay away from any "quiet cars" or other established quiet zones. I let people get settled first, read their body language. I make eye contact and SMILE...if a smile is returned, a second look is given, or other interest shown...I speak up and say something pleasantly engaging. A light sense of humor that comes from a commonly shared human perspective will almost always work, and is something you can always build a wonderful conversation on.

On trips across the nation, I stay away from engaging people late at night unless it is in the view liner, and even then I am careful about that. I have seen people meet up and in a matter of 30 minutes or so, end up engaging in adult activities on impulse. You'll be surprised what you'll witness on long-distance trains!

I have so much more to say on the topic from personal experience.

     

Wow, that train sounds like a... wild time, Dawn.  ???

A bit of an overstep from talking, though.  :-\

Quote from: DianaP on February 07, 2013, 05:43:14 AM
I once got into a conversation with a British person on the train, and it was so cool! 23 minutes of sexy accent.  :embarrassed:

I was teasing and don't actually laugh at Brits if I don't know them to begin with. I do tend to find them unfairly sexy though, yes. XD

I didn't vote because where I am at, we don't have immediate trains for public transport so my experience is limited to the bus.

I don't start up convos with people and I hate when they start up convos with me.  That time is better spent studying or playing my PSP. I had this one lady talk to me about taking karate lessons while I was playing my PSP.....and I had headphones in too.    Others feel the need to ask what I'm studying in college.  I'm not fond of pubic transport convos and I'd rather stay to myself.