Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Gen88 on February 11, 2013, 02:31:50 AM Return to Full Version
Title: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Gen88 on February 11, 2013, 02:31:50 AM
Post by: Gen88 on February 11, 2013, 02:31:50 AM
Today 2/13/2013 at 1:13 am the kindest, most loving and honest person I have ever and will ever know passed on from this life.
Mom, I will always love you and will miss you more than you can imagine. You were always there for me, from giving me guidance when I was young and making tons of mistakes to when I need someone to help by talking with me during bouts of depression.
You always knew what to say and you supported me in ways most people will never understand. I will never forget all of the time we had together and I am thankful I had an extra two and a half years to be with you. You and I grew even closer after your transplant and when I was your caretaker and those will always be some of my best memories. You were the first person to know I was "gay" and the first I ever talked to about being Trans. You have been the rock in my life whom I could always rely upon, and I dont know who to call anymore. I know I will never wake up to your calls again, asking me to go out and eat or shop. I will never be able to see you when I am depressed. I do not know how to carry on without you but I will try. Knowing you will never call me again and just stay hi and to tell me you love me is one of the worst thoughts I can imagine. I have laid in my room for the last few hours listening to your voicemails from the last two years, just to hear those words. I have been crying since I was told by your doctors "all we can do is make (you) comfortable.", and I cannot stop crying...I'll always love you Mem. There is so much more I want to say, but I do not see the point, I know you are gone...and that hurts more than anything ever will. I wish I were the one gone and not you, I wish I could have endured the pain and suffering for you so you would never have to know that feeling. You were kind to everyone and made everyone who knew you more loving and accepting just for knowing you. I have to go now so I can sleep and plan your funeral with the rest of the family tomorrow. I love you Mem, and that will never go away.
Love, Gen
Mom, I will always love you and will miss you more than you can imagine. You were always there for me, from giving me guidance when I was young and making tons of mistakes to when I need someone to help by talking with me during bouts of depression.
You always knew what to say and you supported me in ways most people will never understand. I will never forget all of the time we had together and I am thankful I had an extra two and a half years to be with you. You and I grew even closer after your transplant and when I was your caretaker and those will always be some of my best memories. You were the first person to know I was "gay" and the first I ever talked to about being Trans. You have been the rock in my life whom I could always rely upon, and I dont know who to call anymore. I know I will never wake up to your calls again, asking me to go out and eat or shop. I will never be able to see you when I am depressed. I do not know how to carry on without you but I will try. Knowing you will never call me again and just stay hi and to tell me you love me is one of the worst thoughts I can imagine. I have laid in my room for the last few hours listening to your voicemails from the last two years, just to hear those words. I have been crying since I was told by your doctors "all we can do is make (you) comfortable.", and I cannot stop crying...I'll always love you Mem. There is so much more I want to say, but I do not see the point, I know you are gone...and that hurts more than anything ever will. I wish I were the one gone and not you, I wish I could have endured the pain and suffering for you so you would never have to know that feeling. You were kind to everyone and made everyone who knew you more loving and accepting just for knowing you. I have to go now so I can sleep and plan your funeral with the rest of the family tomorrow. I love you Mem, and that will never go away.
Love, Gen
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: King Malachite on February 11, 2013, 02:34:01 AM
Post by: King Malachite on February 11, 2013, 02:34:01 AM
**HUGS**
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Jason_S on February 11, 2013, 02:56:21 AM
Post by: Jason_S on February 11, 2013, 02:56:21 AM
I don't know what I could say. All I can offer is all my love for this horrible time and that I cried for every bit of your post and I still am now writing this to you.
**HUGS**
**HUGS**
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: V M on February 11, 2013, 03:14:17 AM
Post by: V M on February 11, 2013, 03:14:17 AM
Hugs Gen
We are all here for you
*Trying to hold back the tears but not doing so well* :'(
We are all here for you
*Trying to hold back the tears but not doing so well* :'(
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: jojoglowe on February 11, 2013, 03:15:37 AM
Post by: jojoglowe on February 11, 2013, 03:15:37 AM
:'( i am very sorry to hear about your loss. it is only a matter of time until i find myself in your shoes. one day you two will be reunited, until that day i wish you the best. while i haven't lost my parents yet, i've lost many friends: i try to live each day for them, it helps me keep positive. <3
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Sarah Blomsterhatt on February 11, 2013, 03:16:47 AM
Post by: Sarah Blomsterhatt on February 11, 2013, 03:16:47 AM
*hug*
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Cindy on February 11, 2013, 03:23:01 AM
Post by: Cindy on February 11, 2013, 03:23:01 AM
Hugs Darling,
You were truly blessed with a mother who loved and cared for you.
She will be very proud to have raised such a fine daughter.
May she rest, and we all share your grief.
Cindy
You were truly blessed with a mother who loved and cared for you.
She will be very proud to have raised such a fine daughter.
May she rest, and we all share your grief.
Cindy
Title: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Ellieka on February 11, 2013, 03:25:37 AM
Post by: Ellieka on February 11, 2013, 03:25:37 AM
So sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts today. (Hugs)
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: kelly25 on February 11, 2013, 04:14:35 AM
Post by: kelly25 on February 11, 2013, 04:14:35 AM
Hugs, sorry for your loss
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Maegan on February 11, 2013, 05:13:47 AM
Post by: Maegan on February 11, 2013, 05:13:47 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers Gen.
Huggs
Maegan
Huggs
Maegan
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Keaira on February 11, 2013, 05:42:21 AM
Post by: Keaira on February 11, 2013, 05:42:21 AM
*hugs* I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother-in-law last summer and my big sister last month. I can tell you that you are very lucky to have had such a caring and understanding mother. And if I had met her, I would have thanked her for the love and compassion she had for you. She will always be with you in your heart. My prayers are with you and your family.
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Devlyn on February 11, 2013, 05:44:51 AM
Post by: Devlyn on February 11, 2013, 05:44:51 AM
Sorry about your loss. Your words spoke from the heart, your Mom will always be there inside you. Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: justmeinoz on February 11, 2013, 06:11:18 AM
Post by: justmeinoz on February 11, 2013, 06:11:18 AM
Hugs sis. Mothers are all special.
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Anna++ on February 11, 2013, 07:18:47 AM
Post by: Anna++ on February 11, 2013, 07:18:47 AM
I'm so sorry to hear that. Have a *hug* from me.
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Beth Andrea on February 11, 2013, 07:22:36 AM
Post by: Beth Andrea on February 11, 2013, 07:22:36 AM
*hugs*
:(
:(
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: spacial on February 11, 2013, 07:32:57 AM
Post by: spacial on February 11, 2013, 07:32:57 AM
Just more huggggs
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: ford on February 11, 2013, 07:45:31 AM
Post by: ford on February 11, 2013, 07:45:31 AM
I am so, so sorry, and I know that nothing anyone says can make this easier. But we're here for you. Hang in there.
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: FTMDiaries on February 11, 2013, 08:26:54 AM
Post by: FTMDiaries on February 11, 2013, 08:26:54 AM
So sorry about your loss.
I lost mine (far too young) back in 1995 and all I can say is that the passage of time makes it easier to deal with the pain. She'll always be a part of you and you'll think about her frequently, but as the years pass it won't hurt as much to do so. Eventually, the sad thoughts will lessen and the good memories will prevail.
*Big hug*
I lost mine (far too young) back in 1995 and all I can say is that the passage of time makes it easier to deal with the pain. She'll always be a part of you and you'll think about her frequently, but as the years pass it won't hurt as much to do so. Eventually, the sad thoughts will lessen and the good memories will prevail.
*Big hug*
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on February 11, 2013, 08:53:20 AM
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on February 11, 2013, 08:53:20 AM
Remember this....
When someone we loved that loved us back unconditionally passes on, and we remember them fondly, they have won at life.
It is only a tragedy when we check out, and no one cares, no one misses us, no one notices we are gone.
Your mother won at life.
That is the greatest gift you can give her.
When someone we loved that loved us back unconditionally passes on, and we remember them fondly, they have won at life.
It is only a tragedy when we check out, and no one cares, no one misses us, no one notices we are gone.
Your mother won at life.
That is the greatest gift you can give her.
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: bethany on February 11, 2013, 09:22:19 AM
Post by: bethany on February 11, 2013, 09:22:19 AM
Hugs Gen, Your mom sounds like a remarkable person. Cherish the memories you have of her. Remember what she taught you. And she will be there for you when ever you need her.
I listen to this song whenever I miss my mom and start thinking about her.
Dream Theater - The Spirit Carries On (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J6PPkKBXoU#)
I listen to this song whenever I miss my mom and start thinking about her.
Dream Theater - The Spirit Carries On (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J6PPkKBXoU#)
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Gen88 on February 11, 2013, 11:03:01 AM
Post by: Gen88 on February 11, 2013, 11:03:01 AM
Thank you all for your condolences, I am going today to help pack her things and get her office cleaned before arranging her funeral. I wish I could do more than cry when I think of her, but if that is all that comes then ill keep trying to be happy for her while being sad.
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Devlyn on February 11, 2013, 11:08:41 AM
Post by: Devlyn on February 11, 2013, 11:08:41 AM
Grief is one of those twelve step deals, hon. It can take a while to process. Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: peky on February 11, 2013, 11:18:37 AM
Post by: peky on February 11, 2013, 11:18:37 AM
Crying is good!
I know your pain is deep but know that she will always be there for you..in your memories...and you will smile because you will hear her voice and see her face...she is on you...in al the manerism and traits and traditions....
OO and courage,
P
I know your pain is deep but know that she will always be there for you..in your memories...and you will smile because you will hear her voice and see her face...she is on you...in al the manerism and traits and traditions....
OO and courage,
P
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: BunnyBee on February 11, 2013, 11:22:42 AM
Post by: BunnyBee on February 11, 2013, 11:22:42 AM
Aww :'(
Gosh that is so sad... another thread that made me cry. I wish so badly that I could give you a hug :'(
You (and your mom) will be in my thoughts...
Gosh that is so sad... another thread that made me cry. I wish so badly that I could give you a hug :'(
You (and your mom) will be in my thoughts...
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Elsa on February 11, 2013, 11:25:10 AM
Post by: Elsa on February 11, 2013, 11:25:10 AM
:::Hugs:::
Sorry for your loss hon, I wish there was anything I could say that could make you feel better.
Nothing I say, can replace the loss of a loved one.
I only wish for you - the strength and courage to carry yourself through these difficult times.
Sorry for your loss hon, I wish there was anything I could say that could make you feel better.
Nothing I say, can replace the loss of a loved one.
I only wish for you - the strength and courage to carry yourself through these difficult times.
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Shannon1979 on February 11, 2013, 11:58:57 AM
Post by: Shannon1979 on February 11, 2013, 11:58:57 AM
Condolences. I know its hard loosing someone close to you. She was obviously a wonderfull person, Hold onto that. And remember some part of your mom lives on through you. Hugsx
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on February 11, 2013, 12:05:14 PM
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on February 11, 2013, 12:05:14 PM
I am so sorry for your loss, Gen. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-1.gif&hash=4a7edb8e10f639196821bd403e6dc36860459f64)
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: Rachel on February 11, 2013, 04:29:34 PM
Post by: Rachel on February 11, 2013, 04:29:34 PM
I cried while reading your post and feel so sorry for your loss. Hugs.
Title: Re: The worst day of my life, Ill miss you Mom.
Post by: JulieC. on February 11, 2013, 08:01:14 PM
Post by: JulieC. on February 11, 2013, 08:01:14 PM
I'm so sorry about your loss. I know from living though the same thing there is nothing anyone can say or do to make you feel better right now. Cherish the memories...she will always be with you in your heart and memories.